Pregnancy & Parenting Dad Jokes

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lmach

Naitanui2Yeo
Mar 13, 2010
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Insert one of the below jokes ever time I drove past a cemetery with my Dad.

Did you know thats the dead centre of town?

Dad: Do you know I can't be buried there?
Me: Really? Why?
Dad: I'm not dead.

People are dying to get in there.
How many people do you think are dead in there?


All of them.
 

Plugger35

The umpires are always right!
Sep 27, 2008
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My Dad always did the dead centre of town joke when we drove past cemeteries too, must be in the standard issue Dad joke book.
 

SugarShane

C6 H12 O6
Sep 9, 2007
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My Dad always did the dead centre of town joke when we drove past cemeteries too, must be in the standard issue Dad joke book.
Pretty sure all Dad's get issued that one after their first kid is born.

My old man used to love it too. He was also very fond of "That's the most popular place in town... People are dying to get in." I don't think we ever made it past the cemetery without copping one of them.
 

Gough

Moderator
Sep 29, 2006
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My old man was never much for the traditional dad jokes, as a Python/Goons fan, most of his humour took the form of excruciating puns. Still does.
 

Plugger35

The umpires are always right!
Sep 27, 2008
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Pretty sure all Dad's get issued that one after their first kid is born.

My old man used to love it too. He was also very fond of "That's the most popular place in town... People are dying to get in." I don't think we ever made it past the cemetery without copping one of them.
Yeah we heard that one a few times too, never got any funnier.
 

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SugarShane

C6 H12 O6
Sep 9, 2007
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A few more of my Dad's favourites;
"Dad, how long until tea?"
"Oh, about 2 metres."

"How do you feel?"
"With my hands."

"Where are you going?"
"Mad."
 

Roscoe

Debutant
Oct 5, 2004
92
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Brisbane
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I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor,
not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.
Then I remembered the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30.
 
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