Dad Jokes.

[raskolnikov]

One of the ones I use at school is a student will ask if I have seen this person. My reply is "Yes. They're about so tall, this colour hair. Oh, you mean recently? "

 

[Double the Fist]

Quality bump Duritz.

Certainly food for thought.

Sheep brains?

 

[Jethro!]

I hate babushka dolls.... they're completely full of themselves.

 

[Double the Fist]

Son: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, nice to meet you.

Velcro, what a rip-off.

I was playing football on an airplane it was amazing I was running out on the wing.

Mate who is a dad, always tells people he played AFL footy. They ask what position, he says, 'Left right back in the pavillion!'

 

[AimHigh70]

What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies at school ?


An ambulance

 

[AimHigh70]

What's the difference between an 18 year old blonde male and an 18 year old blonde female ?

An 18 year old blonde female has a higher sperm count

 

[honeni]

Heres the literal "dad" joke

 

[Wallaby]

I'm a dad now.

I am great at dad jokes (there, I told you).

I wonder why, as we get older, we become attracted to simple, pun-based, logical absurdities. Is it because, when we are young, we spend so much time looking for edgy, clever, subtle humour with a message, that when we age, we just thing 'I can't be arsed with all that crap, I'm just having a laugh'?

 

[big bootaaaaah]

If ever I said “I’m so funny”,
Dad piped up “funny looking”

 

[Duritz]

My daughter nearly knocked the kettle over recently. I said, “careful, you nearly got into hot water there.”

Oh how we laughed.

And by we I mean I.

 

[CraigB]

When does a joke become a dad joke.

The moment it becomes apparent.