Damian Barrett

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PP34

PP34

Finals MVP
Veteran 10k Posts
Oct 8, 2009
29,771
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AFL Club
Carlton
Can anyone explain to me how this absolute ******* of a journalist has suddenly become a big part of Triple M's footy team? Have they really fallen that far that they need this bloke to give his clueless analysis on footy combined with his ability to talk absolute bullshit about players?

The bloke sitting in the local pub would be better suited at actually talking about football.
 
PP34 said:
Can anyone explain to me how this absolute ******* of a journalist has suddenly become a big part of Triple M's footy team? Have they really fallen that far that they need this bloke to give his clueless analysis on footy combined with his ability to talk absolute bullshit about players?

The bloke sitting in the local pub would be better suited at actually talking about football.
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Suddenly ?

He's been on the Friday / Saturday Rub for years. But you're right he's a flog of the highest order.
 

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If I have to listen to this pretentious peanut voice his pointless opinions on AFL I'll spew
I don't watch the footy show anymore cos of this campaigner and refuse to listen to triple MMM cos his gossipy fish wife comments make me sick
Get this campaigner off the radio and tv and let this four eyes go back to working behind a desk where he belongs
* off campaigner
 
PP34 said:
Can anyone explain to me how this absolute ******* of a journalist has suddenly become a big part of Triple M's footy team? Have they really fallen that far that they need this bloke to give his clueless analysis on footy combined with his ability to talk absolute bullshit about players?

The bloke sitting in the local pub would be better suited at actually talking about football.
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A flog and cheap gossip columnist of the highest order, anything he is on i turn off.

I really am baffled how he gets a run.
 
I actually read his sliding doors thing he writes on the AFL Website on Friday. He repeatedly made mention of Cale Hooker missing the game and how happy Buddy would be. Now before Friday Buddy was averaging just under 6 goals a game against Essendon in the last 10 times he has played them. More importantly Hooker has played forward all year. Do these ******* guys even watch footy?
 
Private Hudson said:
I actually read his sliding doors thing he writes on the AFL Website on Friday. He repeatedly made mention of Cale Hooker missing the game and how happy Buddy would be. Now before Friday Buddy was averaging just under 6 goals a game against Essendon in the last 10 times he has played them. More importantly Hooker has played forward all year. Do these ******* guys even watch footy?
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He is an awful, awful writer.

Let's set aside that these are no longer structured as "sliding doors" hypotheticals. He just makes a series of statements that have been reworked to fit the template.

Why does he insist on referring to himself with a plural form?

For example: "If the Blues are often difficult to watch from a purist perspective ... then that changes any time Charlie Curnow goes near the ball. Already one of our favourites."

Or: "If the club isn't prepared to say it publicly ... then we will. There is an issue with the training surface at the Holden Centre.

Hey dick snap, there's only one of you. Stop trying so hard.
 

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Damien Barrett has come up with some absolute gibberish on Marc Murphy, claiming the Blues should try to get a top five pick for him as compensation.

Honestly, some of his rationale sounds like it came from a BigFooty newbie who doesn't understand that FA compensation gets sorted into different bands.

Just as Melbourne conjured national draft pick No.3, which was added to its already established pick No.2, when James Frawley exited as a free agent at the end of 2014, Carlton has the scope to use Marc Murphy as leverage in an attempt to get consecutive early picks, potentially picks one and two, in this year's draft.
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Yeah, so you're saying they should push for Band 1 compensation for Murphy, who's nearly 31 and probably won't get big money if he leaves.

While the AFL will tell us there is a formula applied to the compensation granted a club for loss of a free agent, the clubs know the formula is whatever the AFL wants it to be at that given point in time.

The AFL's own free agency rules state that compensation is calculated after factoring in the new contract as well as the age of the free agent.
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Yes Damien. Compensation gets sorted into different bands: first round, end of first round, second round, end of second round etc.

This is quite an important piece of information if you are going to write a whole article about what kind of compensation a club might get should they lose a free agent. It's weird that it doesn't appear anywhere in your article. It would be like writing an analysis about a team's list management while pretending that the salary cap isn't a thing.

In 2014, Melbourne was told it wasn't getting a priority pick, but was extraordinarily able to receive No.3 pick compensation for losing Frawley to Hawthorn.

Pick two in that 2014 draft was used on Christian Petracca, pick three on Angus Brayshaw. Both players now loom as crucial to Melbourne's premiership push four seasons later.
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Yeah. They got Band 1 compensation.

The flexibility in the AFL player movement and free agency system has seen Hawthorn receive draft pick No.19 for losing one of the all-time greats in Lance Franklin to Sydney at the end of 2013.

Geelong received the same pick - 19 - when Steven Motlop took his free agency to Port Adelaide last year.
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Damien, are you seriously going to write a whole piece about free agency compensation without saying anything about the different bands for compensation?

Hawthorn got Band 1 compensation for Franklin. Geelong got Band 2 compensation for Motlop.

No one is saying Motlop is as good as Franklin, but the way the bands are set up, compensation can be linked to a team's ladder position, depending on which band. Surely this is worth noting if you're going to write a whole piece about what Carlton hopes to get for Murphy. You are saying they should try to extract Band 1 compensation, which would give them a pick after their existing first-rounder.

OMG, are you saying he's better than Franklin?! Because Hawthorn only got pick 19! That is the equivalent of what you've posited here regarding the Franklin and Motlop compo picks. Dumb as s**t, isn't it?

Some other random compensation rewards have seen pick 25 go to Fremantle for Chris Mayne, pick 23 head to Melbourne for Col Sylvia, pick 13 and pick 25 to St Kilda respectively for Brendon Goddard and Nick Dal Santo.
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Random? Do you seriously not know about the different bands?

I get it – the compensation for different players varies. But it's much less "random" if you start by explaining that there are different bands. You have totally overlooked that so maybe that's why it looks "random".

But if he seeks a new home, the Blues must seek to manipulate the system as others have done before them.

Until the AFL bans all compensation for loss of free agents, and while it adheres to wiggle-room formula, the entire free agency is open to manipulation.

With a creative pitch and persuasive behind-the-scenes manoeuvring, Carlton this year can tap into the AFL's magic formula for compensation.

It needs to sell, hard, the fact Murphy has been captain for six seasons, that he's a two-time best-and-fairest winner (as well as four-time runner-up), and an All Australian. It needs to ensure that a prospective new club heavily front-loads his new contract.
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In other words, they should hope like hell they get Band 1 compensation. But they probably won't. Your article would be a whole lot more sensible if you didn't completely omit a fundamental aspect of the free agency compensation structure.

On the upside, you managed to file something without referring to yourself throughout as "we" or using your weak as s**t catchphrase "very, very nicely", which would cause a Grade 6 kid to lose marks on their creative writing homework but you seem to think is acceptable for a grown man who writes for a living.
 
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http://www.afl.com.au/news/2018-06-01/sliding-doors-round-11

Umm

This is embarrassing. He doesn't seem to be aware of the literary concept of the sliding door.

Maybe there was a point in his youth where he could have learnt to write or could have done something else. Maybe some small, incidental happening directed him one way instead of the other... and he was propelled into adulthood without a basic understanding of how to write.

If only...
 
OK Damian Barrett... this is a good line:

https://thewest.com.au/sport/ross-l...-in-game-flossing-disrespectful-ng-b88855926z

“People might think I’m making a big thing out of nothing here, but I just wonder about the mindset of a coach who takes a flosser into a coaches box,” Barrett said.

“I actually do think it’s a bit disrespectful of those around you.

“You may as well cut your toenails at the same time. Go up the back of the box and do it.
 
This bloke isn't even trying anymore.

I thought his Sliding Doors rubbish was meant to start with a hypothetical premise, followed by an upshot or a conclusion. Isn't that the idea?

So what about this one for Sydney this week:

If ...
this team is the only one to have beaten the Eagles in 2018, way back in the opening round and at the away venue ...

then ...
we're predicting another Swans win at the SCG.

Wait, what do you mean if? That's not a hypothetical. The Swans are the only team to beat WC this season. That's simply a fact. You're welcome to tip the Swans. That's fine. But how does a mere statement of fact fit the concept of this regular column?

You may as well write:

If ...
the sky is blue

then ...
I'm a shitty, unimaginative writer. No wait, sorry ... we're an unimaginative writer. Don't forget to refer to ourselves as we. Very, very nice.
 
basashi said:
OK Damian Barrett... this is a good line:

https://thewest.com.au/sport/ross-l...-in-game-flossing-disrespectful-ng-b88855926z

“People might think I’m making a big thing out of nothing here, but I just wonder about the mindset of a coach who takes a flosser into a coaches box,” Barrett said.

“I actually do think it’s a bit disrespectful of those around you.

“You may as well cut your toenails at the same time. Go up the back of the box and do it.
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He is trying to stir up s**t.

As if anyone in the box would give a flying * that he flossed his teeth in the box
 
A "sliding door" is this:

you point to a moment in the past. you describe what did happen and what COULD have happened. (Or could "of" happened if you are Damian).

you then look at the subsequent or current status quo and describe your view on how the present would be different if a different thing had happened.

Mere conditional statements are not sliding doors. Especially not future ones.

A classic sliding door was in the Ashes series where Glenn Mcgrath rolled his ankle by stepping on a ball.
 
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