Rumour Dayne Beams set to “retire”

Crusty Demon

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Serious question and a general one rather than a comment on Beams who is in a very bad way by the sounds of it..........

Is the hypersensitivity surrounding mental health, public airing/ coming out and overall heightened 'awareness' actually making much of a difference?

From what I can tell the only real benefit (and a notable one) is removing some of the stigma and ridicule that may once have been directed at the sufferer. Im not sure it does any more than that to be completely honest. In fact it concerns me that it can almost spread (like a virus) across friendship groups and families. Was the old fashioned 'stiff upper lip/ keep your problems to yourself' actually all that bad for society as a whole?

Now don't hate on me all at once. Thoughts?
This is a tricky question with no right or wrong answer. Although I don't know anyone who has ever had depression and wanted that knowledge to be known to anyone let alone the media. Having had depression(still on anti depressants), knowing some people who have it, and talking with teenagers who have it, I am yet to meet one who want it exposed in anyway to anyone. It's a very private battle and as much as the public is becoming more aware of it, it's still an incredibly embarrassing feeling to know people are aware you have it. Of course this is only my experiences.

It's very very hard to tell if a player/celebrity has it or not. But unfortunately I have no doubt players and clubs use mental health (which can be a number of things, not necessarily depression) as an excuse for poor behaviour. I know Garry Lyon copped a whacking over his announcement he was suffering from depression after his indiscretion. To me I felt sick, because it should have been a separate thing entirely. Depression doesn't make you stick your d*** into your best friends wife. Depression generally makes you want to sleep and feel unmotivated to do anything. However he might have had depression, but it felt like he was using it as an excuse. And this is the problem. I think Buddy was the first player I remember using mental health to miss games of football. Might have even been a finals series. Yet the rumours going around was that he was missing for 'other reason's. I remember being excited somewhat as I had depression, and a famous sportsman was coming out saying he had it, but it quickly turned to disgust with the possible use of mental health being used to miss games when other reasons were the real reason. But who's to stay he didn't have anxiety issues etc? I'm sure every player has them to a degree. It's a tough question and the problem is more players will be diagnosed with depression in the future, and because it is not like a broken leg where the evidence is for everyone to see, people will be skeptical about those who genuinely have it, and those who don't yet use it as an excuse to miss games of football where really they are being suspended in some way or have 'other issues' that can't be released to the public.
 

Aramis

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The list keeps on growing? 3 people? Hardly a list and compared to jobs such as armed forces, education, police, fire and medical, it doesn't even come close to being on a similar level. It's just that these guys are in the spotlight and make the news. I've had depression, i do talks to students and teachers about mental health, and let me tell you, the AFL doesn't come close to having as many mental health issues as any of the professions that i listed. One school i used to work at had more than half of the staff on anti depressants.

I am concerned about clubs and league using mental health as a cover for bad life choices. But it's hard as the general public to know which came first, if mental health issues are indeed even true. Of course in the case of Beams and Hogan, losing a loved one can absolutely be a trigger and i agree 100% that the AFL should be doing all they can to support their players who have mental health issues. I wish Dayne all the best and hope a lot of the rumours aren't true. Getting sacked (retired) publicly can be a trigger for suicide. The club and the league need to throw an arm around him as much as they can, and his mates need to make sure he continues to recieve the right help which i hope the Pies or AFL are paying for and monitoring.
I should clarify I wasn't discounting other professions, particularly armed forces and returned servicemen. I was merely concentrating on AFL as we're in a football orientated forum. You make very valid points though.
 
Last edited:

Aramis

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What actions or preventative measures do you think the AFL can take?

Mental health affects everyone from retail workers to tradies to lawyers to athletes - it doesn’t discriminate.

A few high profile cases in the AFL is merely reflective of what is happening in other industries / wider society.
Its a good question and I don't have the answers nor the resources to discover a proper solution - I won't pretend otherwise. The AFL does.

I agree with your points made.
 

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doppleganger

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Why do you actually think money and wealth solves depression? It actually causes it!! - actually nobody said that, if you had bothered reading..
You are pretty consistent all the way through...
Only people with no money can be ‘doing it tough’ like the dishwasher.

Your posting seems to think they have ‘valid’ claims to being depressed because they were ‘doing it tough’.
Of course you could, why don't you loan him a couple of 100k?
You on the money train again, you seem to think wealth is some solution to depression.

btw, its not the money that causes depression in this case, its the actions...
That’s right, Beams was privileged he had success, wealth and money

Yep according to you he should never be depressed, because he ‘hasn’t had it tough’ like a dishwasher

it is always disheartening reading about anybody who isn’t in control of their life.
its not actually, but, I guess you can wring your hands about it and feel good :)
You continue to miss the point.

I don’t particularly care for Beams, my selfish interest is on his plight not impacting Collingwood, so no need to ‘take action’...reading he has ‘retired’ is a good thing from a Pies perspective.

I read your ill informed posts on views of depression and quoted you.

You, like many can’t distinguish depression from being sad. Hence all your posting is along the lines of look how good Beams had/has it compared to others...completing missing the point.

Depression at is core is when you basically turn against yourself, question your won self-worth and that then takes over everything.

That can happen to all people, irrespective of their standing in life, wealth or actions.
 

incog43

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You are pretty consistent all the way through...
Only people with no money can be ‘doing it tough’ like the dishwasher.

Your posting seems to think they have ‘valid’ claims to being depressed because they were ‘doing it tough’.

You on the money train again, you seem to think wealth is some solution to depression.


That’s right, Beams was privileged he had success, wealth and money

Yep according to you he should never be depressed, because he ‘hasn’t had it tough’ like a dishwasher


You continue to miss the point.

I don’t particularly care for Beams, my selfish interest is on his plight not impacting Collingwood, so no need to ‘take action’...reading he has ‘retired’ is a good thing from a Pies perspective.

I read your ill informed posts on views of depression and quoted you.

You, like many can’t distinguish depression from being sad. Hence all your posting is along the lines of look how good Beams had/has it compared to others...completing missing the point.

Depression at is core is when you basically turn against yourself, question your won self-worth and that then takes over everything.

That can happen to all people, irrespective of their standing in life, wealth or actions.
You are pretty consistent all the way through...
Only people with no money can be ‘doing it tough’ like the dishwasher.Your posting seems to think they have ‘valid’ claims to being depressed because they were ‘doing it tough’
. - NO, you wouldn't know what consistent meant, I merely indicated that these people, in their millions, just get on with it, every day, regardless. Unlike Beams.

You go give beams 500k, you would be amazed at his transformation I suspect :)

You, like many can’t distinguish depression from being sad. Hence all your posting is along the lines of look how good Beams had/has it compared to others...completing missing the point. - OH Beams is sad, make no mistake, he blew it, nothing to do with how good he had it, all to do with personal choices and decisions, you bet he is sad, unfortunately he cannot get on with it, because he isn't an adult.

Depression at is core is when you basically turn against yourself, question your won self-worth and that then takes over everything. - Really, did you read that in a study? Beams questioned his worth and found himself to be wanting in that regard. Now he can crawl into a cave or he can crawl out, that's the test of adulthood and being responsible. We all face that at sometime.

BTW, whats with YOUR money fetish? Your post is riddled with that word, yet you suggest I have an issue with it?

That's right, you read a study once :)

That will do me on this, you may knock yourself out however :)
 

StuieG

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This is a tricky question with no right or wrong answer. Although I don't know anyone who has ever had depression and wanted that knowledge to be known to anyone let alone the media. Having had depression(still on anti depressants), knowing some people who have it, and talking with teenagers who have it, I am yet to meet one who want it exposed in anyway to anyone. It's a very private battle and as much as the public is becoming more aware of it, it's still an incredibly embarrassing feeling to know people are aware you have it. Of course this is only my experiences.

It's very very hard to tell if a player/celebrity has it or not. But unfortunately I have no doubt players and clubs use mental health (which can be a number of things, not necessarily depression) as an excuse for poor behaviour. I know Garry Lyon copped a whacking over his announcement he was suffering from depression after his indiscretion. To me I felt sick, because it should have been a separate thing entirely. Depression doesn't make you stick your d*** into your best friends wife. Depression generally makes you want to sleep and feel unmotivated to do anything. However he might have had depression, but it felt like he was using it as an excuse. And this is the problem. I think Buddy was the first player I remember using mental health to miss games of football. Might have even been a finals series. Yet the rumours going around was that he was missing for 'other reason's. I remember being excited somewhat as I had depression, and a famous sportsman was coming out saying he had it, but it quickly turned to disgust with the possible use of mental health being used to miss games when other reasons were the real reason. But who's to stay he didn't have anxiety issues etc? I'm sure every player has them to a degree. It's a tough question and the problem is more players will be diagnosed with depression in the future, and because it is not like a broken leg where the evidence is for everyone to see, people will be skeptical about those who genuinely have it, and those who don't yet use it as an excuse to miss games of football where really they are being suspended in some way or have 'other issues' that can't be released to the public.
An interesting thing to note mental illness is the lack of detail. An injury we get the most intimate detail, illness like cancer and we'll know if it's in his testicles or on his skin.

There's a tonne of different mental health issues and we don't often hear the details. No one has the right to know someone medical issues of course it's just interesting that it seems mental health is where we draw the line.
 

iBeng

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You are pretty consistent all the way through...
Only people with no money can be ‘doing it tough’ like the dishwasher.Your posting seems to think they have ‘valid’ claims to being depressed because they were ‘doing it tough’
. - NO, you wouldn't know what consistent meant, I merely indicated that these people, in their millions, just get on with it, every day, regardless. Unlike Beams.

You go give beams 500k, you would be amazed at his transformation I suspect :)

You, like many can’t distinguish depression from being sad. Hence all your posting is along the lines of look how good Beams had/has it compared to others...completing missing the point. - OH Beams is sad, make no mistake, he blew it, nothing to do with how good he had it, all to do with personal choices and decisions, you bet he is sad, unfortunately he cannot get on with it, because he isn't an adult.

Depression at is core is when you basically turn against yourself, question your won self-worth and that then takes over everything. - Really, did you read that in a study? Beams questioned his worth and found himself to be wanting in that regard. Now he can crawl into a cave or he can crawl out, that's the test of adulthood and being responsible. We all face that at sometime.

BTW, whats with YOUR money fetish? Your post is riddled with that word, yet you suggest I have an issue with it?

That's right, you read a study once :)

That will do me on this, you may knock yourself out however :)
Funnily enough this is just YOUR brain telling someone ELSES brain that the other persons brain is just being silly and needs to harden itself up to reality.

As if you have intimate and detailed knowledge of what every brain thinks and feels.
 

doppleganger

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Serious question and a general one rather than a comment on Beams who is in a very bad way by the sounds of it..........

Is the hypersensitivity surrounding mental health, public airing/ coming out and overall heightened 'awareness' actually making much of a difference?

From what I can tell the only real benefit (and a notable one) is removing some of the stigma and ridicule that may once have been directed at the sufferer. Im not sure it does any more than that to be completely honest. In fact it concerns me that it can almost spread (like a virus) across friendship groups and families. Was the old fashioned 'stiff upper lip/ keep your problems to yourself' actually all that bad for society as a whole?

Now don't hate on me all at once. Thoughts?
Wayne Schwass speaks very well about mental health.

People who don’t speak up, are often the ones that need too the most, as they don’t have the requisite coping methods and hence often do further damage to themselves.

And people from all walks of life can struggle, yet small minded fools still tend to go down the ‘how can you be struggling, you have it so much better than....’

These individuals who aren’t coping but put on a stiff upper lip and pretend they are ok...but then they hide the fact they eat (or don’t eat), drink, abuse substances, cry themselves to sleep (or don’t sleep at all), isolate themselves, etc. as poorly informed coping mechanisms and their mental health continues to further erode to point of potentially developing a severe mental illness.

Those same small minded people then decide to judge them as it was their own self destructive ‘actions’ that caused their problems...the obese fatty chose to eat that extra burger, the alcoholic didn’t have to drink, the anorexic should eat something, the ‘loner’ never comes out when asked, the bloke who is always tired just needs to get more sleep, nobody forced them to have a bet etc...then comes the man up, take responsibility, own your decisions.

But that is the point, people with mental health problems aren’t capable of making decisions in their best interest.

Their biggest fault was not putting their hand up early and acknowledging they had a problem...instead they hid their problems, and made them worse.

Actually putting your hand up to say you aren’t coping is hard, it shouldn’t be.
 

TheJanuaryMan

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Been reading this thread for a long time and pondering whether to add in my two cents but what the heck....

Can't help but feel for Beams in this. Certainly from the outside looking in it would seem he has everything. Yet very few of us really know his true life situation. I was young when losing my father and know the impact that had at the time. When feeling confused and hurt we can make some really bad decisions that don't look made of common sense to the average person. Soon one bad decision parlays into a worse one and the train starts to get right away from you with little or no way of catching it again.

Nobody really knows whether the car crash was an accident or otherwise. Neither should we speculate. Only one person really knows the answer to that.

Whether we all choose to think so or not there is still a huge stigma about mental health. Sure the wheel is slowly turning but have a quick look at many forums or newspaper discussion pieces when a sportsman talks of mental health issues. Many sympathise but there are still a number of comments that are adverse and downright poor. It's why there will be plenty of other sportsmen or women that are not opening up about it. Just as it is in society.

He gave us great service at the Lions and was brilliant to watch in full flight. I only wish him the very best and that he can begin the road to recovery and a world that he embraces not shies away from. If painting helps that then so be it. Would rather he be remembered for his football than the speculation over his personal life which in many ways affected him more than anyone.
 

Crash Davis

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The club and Beams parting ways is a win for Collingwood.
As a long time member, also having coached in juniors 3 current listed AFL players (not Collingwood, nor high profile), I have also been told many of the above stories about Beams' off field behaviour. There is far too much smoke to not be any fire involved in this.
I have mentioned previously, I am not a fan of Beams, stemming from the sexual assault case involving JMac many years ago. The way he left Collingwood the first time around displayed the type of integrity he has, the way he left Brisbane reaffirmed this. His blatant lie to his teammates at their B&F then to actively seek a trade later is abhorrent. Depression is horrible, I was diagnosed with it 7 years ago and the last thing you want to do is attract attention to yourself. If you have bad days, you don't even feel like talking let alone flogging some finger painting. You certainly do not seek attention on Instagram.
I feel that there will be no tears from any Collingwood players when he departs, he fooled everyone at the club I'm afraid
 

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triggering bro

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The club and Beams parting ways is a win for Collingwood.
As a long time member, also having coached in juniors 3 current listed AFL players (not Collingwood, nor high profile), I have also been told many of the above stories about Beams' off field behaviour. There is far too much smoke to not be any fire involved in this.
I have mentioned previously, I am not a fan of Beams, stemming from the sexual assault case involving JMac many years ago. The way he left Collingwood the first time around displayed the type of integrity he has, the way he left Brisbane reaffirmed this. His blatant lie to his teammates at their B&F then to actively seek a trade later is abhorrent. Depression is horrible, I was diagnosed with it 7 years ago and the last thing you want to do is attract attention to yourself. If you have bad days, you don't even feel like talking let alone flogging some finger painting. You certainly do not seek attention on Instagram.
I feel that there will be no tears from any Collingwood players when he departs, he fooled everyone at the club I'm afraid
I hope Beams is getting all the support that he needs to recover. I equally hope he is held to account for any indiscretions. Current society is quick to exonerate people if there’s a sniff of mental illness. Having a mental illness & being a terrible individual is not always mutually exclusive. Sadly it can be used as a shield or an excuse when making poor decisions, & broadly, being shit bloke. Accountability is rarely included in the narrative. My immediate thought in this scenario was empathy toward Dayne’s family & those that are close to him. Often they are the silent victims who are the collateral damage.
 

StCicatriz

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I don't get how beams has escaped criticism for the majority of his career. It's utterly bizarre. Has a permanent hall pass.

Off the top of my head:
1) was in a relationship with Kim Duthie. Meanwhile Sam Gilbert cops it for doing the same,
2) was part of the investigation into the pack rape case in 2010,
3) lied to Brisbane RE: wanting a trade back to Collingwood,
4) rumored gambling debts,
5) car accident.

Feels like he's escaped criticism due to the pies silencing the media.
 

Crash Davis

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I don't get how beams has escaped criticism for the majority of his career. It's utterly bizarre. Has a permanent hall pass.

Off the top of my head:
1) was in a relationship with Kim Duthie. Meanwhile Sam Gilbert cops it for doing the same,
2) was part of the investigation into the pack rape case in 2010,
3) lied to Brisbane RE: wanting a trade back to Collingwood,
4) rumored gambling debts,
5) car accident.

Feels like he's escaped criticism due to the pies silencing the media.
100% correct. I have no doubt Collingwood have covered up literally dozens of incidents over the last 10 or so years.
Like every club in fact, it just rankles more when it's your own club that you pay membership fees to support
 

BEEG

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I don't get how beams has escaped criticism for the majority of his career. It's utterly bizarre. Has a permanent hall pass.

Off the top of my head:
1) was in a relationship with Kim Duthie. Meanwhile Sam Gilbert cops it for doing the same,
2) was part of the investigation into the pack rape case in 2010,
3) lied to Brisbane RE: wanting a trade back to Collingwood,
4) rumored gambling debts,
5) car accident.

Feels like he's escaped criticism due to the pies silencing the media.
Its a lose lose, if we release all the info we get the mental heath stuff, if we keep it all in where protecting him.

Pies only mistake was bringing him back and thinking we could help him.
 

StCicatriz

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Its a lose lose, if we release all the info we get the mental heath stuff, if we keep it all in where protecting him.

Pies only mistake was bringing him back and thinking we could help him.
Some of this stuff we pre the mental health episodes
 

the harry

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Never knew Beams was involved in a relationship with Kim Duthie or was involved in a rape case

Eddie got a good lawyer to rep beams and his mate from coburg vflafter an incident the night of the 2010 win.

The lawyer, repping two parties being questioned by police, made them agree not to investigate happenings a bit before the alledged rape that was ultimately the topic of the trial.

When this was agreed upon, the lawyer stopped representing the vfl player and his family had to find his defence (Collingwood/Eddie were previously).

He was acquitted at trial.

The impact of this was that beams avoided being investigated too much or having his name dragged through the mud. But his mate was left to potentially take it on the neck and the alleged victim didn't really get the chance for justice.
 

Mordecai

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Serious question and a general one rather than a comment on Beams who is in a very bad way by the sounds of it..........

Is the hypersensitivity surrounding mental health, public airing/ coming out and overall heightened 'awareness' actually making much of a difference?

From what I can tell the only real benefit (and a notable one) is removing some of the stigma and ridicule that may once have been directed at the sufferer. Im not sure it does any more than that to be completely honest. In fact it concerns me that it can almost spread (like a virus) across friendship groups and families. Was the old fashioned 'stiff upper lip/ keep your problems to yourself' actually all that bad for society as a whole?

Now don't hate on me all at once. Thoughts?
I think it's worthy of discussion but being an important topic it's probably fair you do the work first and put forward your own research (still leaving it open to discussion) before asking others their thoughts.
 

Witch1

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Sep 4, 2016
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I don't get how beams has escaped criticism for the majority of his career. It's utterly bizarre. Has a permanent hall pass.

Off the top of my head:
1) was in a relationship with Kim Duthie. Meanwhile Sam Gilbert cops it for doing the same,
2) was part of the investigation into the pack rape case in 2010,
3) lied to Brisbane RE: wanting a trade back to Collingwood,
4) rumored gambling debts,
5) car accident.

Feels like he's escaped criticism due to the pies silencing the media.
Also dines at restaurants in company of teammates, then after he has a 'discussion' with management they walk out without paying a cent - according to poster on previous page.
If true that's one of the worst, in my book.
 

Crusty Demon

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Also dines at restaurants in company of teammates, then after he has a 'discussion' with management they walk out without paying a cent - according to poster on previous page.
If true that's one of the worst, in my book.
The more i read about this bloke, the more I can't stand him. Sounds like an absolute piece of work. The mental health tag only gets you so many brownie points before people just realise you are an absolute flog of a human being.
 

gingernuts

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Wayne Schwass speaks very well about mental health.

People who don’t speak up, are often the ones that need too the most, as they don’t have the requisite coping methods and hence often do further damage to themselves.

And people from all walks of life can struggle, yet small minded fools still tend to go down the ‘how can you be struggling, you have it so much better than....’

These individuals who aren’t coping but put on a stiff upper lip and pretend they are ok...but then they hide the fact they eat (or don’t eat), drink, abuse substances, cry themselves to sleep (or don’t sleep at all), isolate themselves, etc. as poorly informed coping mechanisms and their mental health continues to further erode to point of potentially developing a severe mental illness.

Those same small minded people then decide to judge them as it was their own self destructive ‘actions’ that caused their problems...the obese fatty chose to eat that extra burger, the alcoholic didn’t have to drink, the anorexic should eat something, the ‘loner’ never comes out when asked, the bloke who is always tired just needs to get more sleep, nobody forced them to have a bet etc...then comes the man up, take responsibility, own your decisions.

But that is the point, people with mental health problems aren’t capable of making decisions in their best interest.

Their biggest fault was not putting their hand up early and acknowledging they had a problem...instead they hid their problems, and made them worse.

Actually putting your hand up to say you aren’t coping is hard, it shouldn’t be.
I think you are correct. I had a high flying job, life of the party, always telling jokes but it was all a sham.Hid my condition for 30 years then my whole life caved in and I could not function anymore. Booked myself into rehab to stay alive and eventually got back on track. My best mates comments " you would be the last person we would a have thought to have a mental health condition"
 

Stabby McGee

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Ok. Serious question- is it possible he is both a campaigner and messed up? Is it chicken and the egg? I wonder. I posted way earlier in the tread about my deal and how I did strange things after, but I did odd things before to.
I live close to where he grew up, and being a nuffie is par up here.
Soi do wonder- did I get drunk and punch a cop coz I wasn’t coping with life or did I get drunk and punch a cop coz I was pissed and felt like it?
For me it is 1. May have felt like shit the week earlier, but it was me being a moron.
Beams. I think same as me
Boyd. No that lad was struggling. If he punched a cop I’d feel sorry for the cop and him.
 

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