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Travel Death

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Just got back from seeing my Mum who's in the equivalent of pallative care now via one of her sisters' house. I visit every day and she's being well looked after by family (24/7 care) but she can't have long left.

In a macabre sort of way I hope she doesn't, because she's really not living at this point. Completely bed-ridden and barely able to speak or open her eyes, she might be technically alive (bladder cancer, terminal diagnosis a few months ago) but her spirit and vitality is well gone. She's gaunt from being unable to eat and her teeth are starting to rot from all the vomiting due to not being able to process anything orally. Her pain has gone up considerably too, so all we can do is give her Morphine and a few various drugs to help with the vomiting and restlessness.

Overall it paints an ugly picture and a confronting one, for a boy who has taken a long time to grow into a man. A person who's been my rock and picking up the pieces behind me for years will no longer be with me.

I try to look at things objectively as I can - so while she'll leave us surrounded by loved ones and grieved by many, my 2 cents out of this situation would be to make sure all your loved ones know exactly how you feel about them and how much you value them.

We're all on borrowed time, some of us more so than others.
 
I believe our mental capacity,thoughts,feelings equates to energy. Real electrical energy if you look at brain function. I guess it’s one step away from all the spiritual souly type stuff.
I’m probably wrong.

The brain is just an organ. It has a role. The heart pumps blood. The brain pumps thoughts. When you quite the brain you can hear your soul.

When you hear soul it's running off the same frequency of every other soul and the planets frequency.

The brain runs from a different frequency powered by what you eat. The liver is connected more to your soul and has its own counciousness that operates from the same frequency of the earth.

Death can be final. If that's what you want
 
If it was a legal requirement to run a tox-screen on all recently deceased in hospital I think you'll find almost everyone who didn't die on the table had very high opiate levels.

Nobody knows where they are after a bolus or two for 'easing the pain'.

It's the worst best kept secret in medicine.

Schrooms are now the go I believe.
 
Bring. It. On.

I am positive our consciousness (or whatever you want to call it) carries on anyway.

I am not a fan of life, i don't connect with people with the ease in which i desire. I find so many aspects of life fking tedious.

I hate small talk and i find that so many people are pretty much dead already. Like there is this vacant nothingness going on.

So yeah i am not one bit afraid of death. Although i miss people that have died (which have been too many over the past couple of years) i kind of envy them because i feel.like they are in some awesome dimension and i am stuck in a place whereby i feel like i am outside of earth's orbit looking in.

I think i would enjoy working in palliative care. From what i have heard people that are about to die are the most honest and real.
 
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Bring. It. On.

I am positive our consciousness (or whatever you want to call it) carries on anyway.

I am not a fan of life, i don't connect with people with the ease in which i desire. I find so many aspects of life fking tedious.

So yeah i am not one bit afraid of death. Although i miss people that have died (which have been too many over the past couple of years) i kind of envy them because i feel.like they are in some awesome dimension and i am stuck in a place whereby i feel like i am outside of earth's orbit looking in.

I embrace that Im outside of the earth's orbit looking in,its a great view.

Theres plenty of time to be dead.
I dont look forward to it as Im too busy living

But one day, Im happy to be recycled and composted and forgotten
 
Bring. It. On.

I am positive our consciousness (or whatever you want to call it) carries on anyway.

I am not a fan of life, i don't connect with people with the ease in which i desire. I find so many aspects of life fking tedious.

I hate small talk and i find that so many people are pretty much dead already. Like there is this vacant nothingness going on.

So yeah i am not one bit afraid of death. Although i miss people that have died (which have been too many over the past couple of years) i kind of envy them because i feel.like they are in some awesome dimension and i am stuck in a place whereby i feel like i am outside of earth's orbit looking in.

I think i would enjoy working in palliative care. From what i have heard people that are about to die are the most honest and real.
Yeah people shit me, I find it hard to really like people, and most aspects of normal life seem completely heinous at worst or annoying at best, but I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to death. If it was coming to me, I'd shit myself. When I've gone full hypochondriac and thought I was going to die, I didn't want to.

Life has nature and music and pleasure. I like that I'm able to experience gum trees and the tonic of a swim. I like that there's a few people I know who give me value, confidence, and a laugh. There are so many good things in life and you shouldn't let the selfish or cruel get to you. If you're privileged enough to not worry about getting through a day, then you should try and enjoy the sensation of enjoyment.
 
Yeah people shit me, I find it hard to really like people, and most aspects of normal life seem completely heinous at worst or annoying at best, but I wouldn't say I'm looking forward to death. If it was coming to me, I'd shit myself. When I've gone full hypochondriac and thought I was going to die, I didn't want to.

Life has nature and music and pleasure. I like that I'm able to experience gum trees and the tonic of a swim. I like that there's a few people I know who give me value, confidence, and a laugh. There are so many good things in life and you shouldn't let the selfish or cruel get to you. If you're privileged enough to not worry about getting through a day, then you should try and enjoy the sensation of enjoyment.

Well said.

I want to listen to more music, see more of the world, and read more books, maybe write some of my own, too. Don't care for much else, though. We assign our value and energy to too much pointless shit.
 
I think i would enjoy working in palliative care. From what i have heard people that are about to die are the most honest and real.

I'd ****ing hate that. If I ever worked in another industry I'd rather be a mid(whatever the male equiv). Welcome new souls rather than deal with old people and their bullshit.
 

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