Review Dees v Lions: the Good, Bad & Fugly

Demon 16

Brownlow Medallist
Jun 25, 2009
10,042
5,737
Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
I was extremely pleased with Fattys game today.

Was one of our best.

Petty took Hipwood during the 3rd but I’m not about to blame a rookie for today.

When Lever and Jetta are back it will sort a lot of issues out that we had today.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Cannon82

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 26, 2012
14,827
20,010
AFL Club
Melbourne
Well finals are gonna be bloody tough now. Absolutely gutted those blue and red DANDYLIONS threw away a piss easy game. Premierships opportunities don't come around often and if lions being a game out of top 4 is any indication, this would have been as good a year to win one as any, well for a team that isn't ABSOLUTELY ****HOUSE like Melbourne is anyway. Only half decent side is Geelong and their finals record is pants. **** this ****. We could have won everything this year but instead the only prize we'll get is a Top 4 pick and an entire off-season of people hanging **** on us. Let's just hope and pray there's a nice KEY POSITION DEFENDER to waste our bounty on. Give him a bung leg and/or a couple of knock to the scon and we'll throw in some steak knives too.

Only good thing about today's loss is Stevie May played a game reasonable enough to re-ignite the most non-stimulating conversation that's ever happened in the history of bigfooty (again). BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GOALS WE DIDN'T KICK, WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GOALS THE OTEHR GUY KICKED, NEEEEERRRRRRRRR. If Hogan was around now he'd be doing exactly what everyone else is doing- miraculously turning into an embarrassing, smouldering, un-tradeable pile of ****.

And that's not saying May's not a *******, all I asked of him today was to snot some paddlepop dickhead and he couldn't even do that. He had a crack at Frosty instead. If I was Sammy I would've turned around to May and said: "Oi Steve where the **** were you when we were getting thrashed all year? Oh that's right, you were down at the ******* pub getting sauced. **** rehab, right Stevie? Hey Stevie... Stevie? ******** back to Gold Coast mate".

What a prick that guy is, but whatever, truth is he is one player out of a total of approximately three who hasn't regressed at the speed of light this year.
Harmes- pretty sure he could kick goals in 2018. In 2019 his set shots are trash.
Brayshaw- came third in the brownlol now he thinks he's harlem globetrotter or that blind comic book character who does all this mad **** that blind people can't do. This must be what goody says when he says there's no connection. Mate there's no connection because the players aren't looking where the **** they're passing too. They're literally handballing over their ******* heads. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!!?!?
Oliver- Had a a **** year. And had a **** game. At one point the commentator was like: "INTERCEPTION BY <random brisbane guy>!!!" I'm looking at the TV thinking that's not a ******* interception Oliver just hand-balled it directly to the wrong person. Again.
Pretty much anyone who has a clear shot at goal from up to 40 metres out- why are our players deliberately not kicking it between the sticks!?! LOL jokes rhetorical question I know why they're not taking manageable shots at goal it's because they're scared of ******* them up ie: they are literally a bunch of pussies. It's horrendous. Harden the **** up.

Anyway enough of the negative stuff. Here's all the positive ****:
1. Christian Salem, or as I'm going to refer to him from now on, "THE MAN WITH THE IRON HIPS". Not sure that one's gonna catch on. Bit of a mouthful.
2. Loved the commentators creaming themselves over Tommy Mac in the first quarter: "WAS BACK TO HIS 2018 BEST LAST WEEK (no he wasn't), HE'S BACK IN FORM EVERYONE (no he isn't), LOOK AT HIM GO!!!!". Cue Tommy winding back the clock to, let's say, roughly three weeks ago.
3. Oskar face-planting. Not a big fan of BT's commentary or BT himself but kudos to him on calling that one: "His nose left an indent in the ground". Might have imagined that one actually. Either that's the kind of detailed analysis that's missing in television commentary today.
4. Nathan Jones.
5. ****** if I know I barely watched it.

Pffft I'm done whatever that was ****.
How boozed?
 

Topkent

Premium Platinum
Aug 29, 2010
34,064
41,362
Canada
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Winnipeg Jets
yep lucky we have him in the team otherwise Hipwood might have kicked 5+

Sent from my SM-A505YN using Tapatalk
Jesus ...
You and your mate weird, you can continue to moan all you like about the trade and still use those moist spherical things in your head to send light to that pink mushy thing you guys both might share to gather enough information to fire enough synapses to write "yeah May was good"
 

schmuttt

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 12, 2014
19,817
29,653
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
West Ham United
We are probably harsh on Oliver considering he is still 21 but fu** me dead his decision making has gone to s**t. I'd trade Brayshaw for a top 12 pick and Petracca just needs to get fitter, again he starts a game well and disappears.
 

Topkent

Premium Platinum
Aug 29, 2010
34,064
41,362
Canada
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Winnipeg Jets
We are probably harsh on Oliver considering he is still 21 but **** me dead his decision making has gone to ****. I'd trade Brayshaw for a top 12 pick and Petracca just needs to get fitter, again he starts a game well and disappears.
The harshness comes on Oliver because he has one string to his bow at the moment ( an excellent one) and he's become useless at it. Him Brayshaw Viney and Harmes are responsible for like 30% of our disposals so when they stuff around with the ball it stuffs the whole team structure. He and Gus especially were trying so much Hollywood bulls**t yet neither got the basics close to right. Infuriating game
 

Jon Koncak

Baseline leaner
Aug 16, 2011
126
116
Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
GS Warriors, NY Giants, ORE Ducks
GOOD
Salem - absolute gun. Not sure if his kicking/decision making stands out so much because it's elite, or because so many of his teammates are at or below AFL standard.
Viney - would be great if he could keep his form and health for the rest of the year. Don’t think he will ever be an A grader but he’s still an important player for us.
May - loving what I’m seeing at the moment. A few mistakes but generally his physicality, decisionmaking and execution has been great over the last couple of weeks, and miles ahead of what we get in those departments from our other genuine KPD’s.

BAD
Maxy’s ankle - if there’s any doubt at all please please please be conservative with him and give Preuss a go. Sounds like it’s just a sprain but if he plays through something and breaks down...

UGLY
We are genuinely a bottom 4 side - have to admit to myself that after 14 rounds we are definitely bottom tier with Suns, Carlton, Hawthorn and St Kilda. Dogs, Swans and Norf feel like they’re a tier above and have each had a signature win or two.

Game style - not sure how accurate this is but in the last week i’ve heard that we’re right up there in all the important volume stats (contested possessions, inside 50’s) but are dead last in disposal efficiency. Despite that I think we lead the league in play ons from marks. I get that it’s the way we want to play and we’ve started to string together some nice sequences, but we either have no intention or no ability to shift gears. A good side would hit the accelerator at the right times when a play or the game situation dictated it. We just ‘go’ every single time and it has a huge ‘Russian roulette’ vibe to it.
 

jhong

Club Legend
Apr 18, 2011
2,325
1,866
Wonthaggi
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Sheffield Wednesday fc
I just wonder at what point do this collection of mostly overpaid footballers (cough) actually get embarrassed with the crap they are serving up. Handballs to no one, or someone in a worse position , Marks being dropped ,or every one flying for the same ball and no one staying down. We have so many dumb idiots on the park its not even funny anymore . And to the coach , time to drop some "names" to Casey, and stop pretending that somehow this will all come good , it hasn't , today's 2nd half display says it's gotten worse . As for May having a go at Frost , just wish he had of given it to the whole team at 3/4 time . Even better if the coach had given them a spray for a change . That we lost doesn't disappoint me as much as how we played . And if there is no reaction next week against Carlton then the whole club can hang their heads in shame .
 

Sylvia Saint

Norm Smith Medallist
May 20, 2004
7,015
6,081
Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Crusaders
Haha I have to admire some of the melts that occur post meaningless H and A games. You're like the Steven May and Frostys of the Internet world.

The reason we lost today was in the middle. All bar Gawn have regressed this year. Didn't catch the final number but at one stage we were like 2-14 in centre clearances. Boy oh Boy! That's embarrassing. Oliver is well down and Brayshaw should never do those s**tty handballs over his head ever again. Petracca with the usual elite quarter and 3 quarters of disappearing.

Petty, I don't like to criticise new players but he is sole responsible for 2 of the worst kicks I've seen in recent memory. His left foot effort on debut and his effort in the back pocket early in the game today. Gee whiz. I'd prefer to persist with him over OMac but I think he is the next OMac, if that makes sense.

We are s**t this year. Need to sort out the forward line next year. None of TMac, Weed and Smith are outright spuds but they have no synergy this year.

Love May, Salem and Fritsch kicking. Lefties do it better. Jones laser like too.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Benwah83

Got a light?
Oct 15, 2011
5,576
27,097
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Tottenham, The Exers, Warriors
What ****s me most is every ******* week we lose its always about not enough contested possession.

Like once we get that right we are definitely back on track to premiership glory. Good one dickheads.

Just think though - the more contested possession we win, the more we can get it to our outside mids with elite foot skills, who will be able to hit up our elite-functioning forward line lace out, and, uhhh... yeah......

Dumb and lazy football would be a polite way of describing today's effort.

We still don't know how to play tempo football and keep possession. Our desire to move the ball quickly at all times, even if it is to our detriment, is just baffling. Sure, when it works it looks great, but it only works about 10% of the time.

The non-existent pressure today was embarassing. 36 tackles for the game is pathetic. It felt like watching a 10+ goal loss.

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk
 

saj_21

Norm Smith Medallist
Aug 30, 2007
7,527
4,468
unlisted
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Warney's IPL team!
Horrible “effort” by the mids. There is no stat on how you measure clearence effectiveness but geez the lions would of set some kind of record. The amount of times they waltzed through the front of the stoppage and could hit up one their forwards was a indictment on the mid field group. We were lucky to be as close as we were for so long.

We had;
Plus 25 possessions but
Minus 27 contested possessions
Mins 13 clearneces
Plus 20 clangers
Minus 18 tackles

Once again we handball to much, there was a kick to handball differential of 40 in favour of kicks. The lions despite having less possessions had a kick differential of 90.

So we get extra of the ball, less of it on the inside and invite pressure by over handballing. Making it easier for the opposition to defend a small section of the ground. When we turn it over sides get out on us and the same blokes who played ring a Rosie for 60 seconds have no chance to defend the opposition in transition.
 

CWaffles

Premiership Player
Jul 10, 2012
4,192
4,278
Melbourne
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
Ferrari, Chicago Bulls, NY Giants
Horrible “effort” by the mids. There is no stat on how you measure clearence effectiveness but geez the lions would of set some kind of record. The amount of times they waltzed through the front of the stoppage and could hit up one their forwards was a indictment on the mid field group. We were lucky to be as close as we were for so long.

We had;
Plus 25 possessions but
Minus 27 contested possessions
Mins 13 clearneces
Plus 20 clangers
Minus 18 tackles

Once again we handball to much, there was a kick to handball differential of 40 in favour of kicks. The lions despite having less possessions had a kick differential of 90.

So we get extra of the ball, less of it on the inside and invite pressure by over handballing. Making it easier for the opposition to defend a small section of the ground. When we turn it over sides get out on us and the same blokes who played ring a Rosie for 60 seconds have no chance to defend the opposition in transition.
Not to mention that handballing takes longer to get down the ground which gives their defenders to get back and clog up our forward line, all we can so in that situation is either stop and hold it up or kick it long to a situation where it forwards are outnumbered.

3 quick kicks from defensive 50 wickets the ball in fast and gives or forwards the opportunity to catch their opponent out.

We try to be quick but in fact we are playing slow with little crappyy 1m handballs, it just won't work and the sooner the coaching staff realise the quicker we can turn it around.
 

Toump Ass

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 14, 2015
6,105
12,133
TOUMPASSO LAND
AFL Club
Melbourne
All bar Gawn have regressed this year.
🤔

Don't think Gawn has been quite as dominant as last year tbh. Only ones I think have improved are Salem (though as someone else said that could just be that relativity s**t Einstein rabbits on about. He appears good because everyone around him is not very good.) and Hunt who's actually getting picked on merit this season.

Melksham was alright when he played, Pig had a few good games before he broke his collarbone and also Viney, Petracca and Frost haven't got noticeably worse.
 

SugarHealey

Team Captain
Dec 15, 2008
422
84
Voyager 1
AFL Club
Melbourne
Our whole game plan is built on pressure and we had 36 tackles for the entire game. How many times did Zorko or Neale waltze away from a clearance?

Garbage
They had the foot-speed to be able to move into space, and we couldn't put a hand on them.
I am disappointed with some of our young star players this season. They have big numbers on the stats sheets, but their effectiveness leaves a lot to be desired.
They are to blame. wasting the ball time and again.
 
Last edited:
Oct 11, 2018
105
143
AFL Club
Melbourne
Two things:
1. Salem needs to be promoted into a coaching role for kicking right now. When he has the ball is the only time I relax all match. The way he kicks is perfect. Never tries to drill it and rarely goes long in hope. Puts the ball out in front to advantage and hits the tricky 30m diagonal passes to get us into the corridor (only for us to turn it over at our 50m arc but that's another thing!)
2. Smashed in clearances but we were often first to the ball. Brisbane were just exceptional at (borderline) legally grabbing an arm, putting body on body and harrassing us off the ball and onto the ground. Then they had one handball and were out because 1-2 of our blokes were always on the deck. Saw it happen to Oliver constantly where one arm would be locked by an opponent. I thought we were meant to have a "big bodied" midfield?
Bonus: Brisbane have an exceptionally good player in Neale who is part of the new protected species. Reminds me of Ablett in how the umps look for him.
 
Top Bottom