Opposition Camp Delusional Pearlers IV

Discussion in 'Essendon' started by schmuttt, Apr 2, 2017.

Put it out there
  1. schmuttt

    schmuttt Premium Platinum

    Melbourne
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    Just putting myself in here before some smartarse campaigner posts it with the caption 'lol snowbunnies already mad at melksham lol'

     
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  2. Doss

    Doss Super Moderator

    Essendon
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    Didn't get to watch much of the game today. I take it Melk was awful?
     
  3. schmuttt

    schmuttt Premium Platinum

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    He teases so much, has a nice leg and some dash but my god he has no footy IQ.
     
  4. Mercuri Rising

    Mercuri Rising Premiership Player

    Essendon
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    Couldn't have put it better myself. Make sure you appreciate Good Melksham when he manifests :/
     
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  5. DapperJong

    DapperJong Brownlow Medallist

    Essendon
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  6. Yoda_

    Yoda_ Brownlow Medallist

    Essendon
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    Meh
     
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  7. Drummer_19

    Drummer_19 Brownlow Medallist

    Essendon
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    That's pretty much him, can kick flat 60m bullets but will miss guys constantly 15m away or hold on to it too long and get run down since he has no awareness.
     
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  8. Beerfish

    Beerfish Bless

    Essendon
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    Saw him kick the ball straight to the opposition from half back yesterday under no pressure and just smiled and nodded.
     
  9. Harlequin

    Harlequin Moderator

    Essendon
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    Mmmm Melksham
     
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  10. Kakkle

    Kakkle Brownlow Medallist

    Essendon
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    The thing is, Simon Goodwin will continue to play him. Goodwin won't want to admit he ****** up by being the main guy behind his recruitment. This is all on him.
     
  11. yaco55

    yaco55 Premium Gold

    Essendon
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    Think Melksham is playing in place of the injured Hibberd.
     

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  12. Proper Gander

    Proper Gander Owl whisperer and secret agent

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    He is literally the most annoying player I have ever seen. I spent a good part of Monday ranting at an Essendon supporter about him, who thinks the whole thing is hilarious. He plays vaguely like a player for a bit, then time and time again ****s everything up with some crap casual "hey I'm so clever I don't need to try" dinky little kick off a step, and turns the ball over under literally no pressure. And I can't even think what to say about his faux clever "handball without looking" to fool the opponent. Only it fools the receiver as well, and goes nowhere near the guy anyway, and we turn it over again.

    I could live with the turnovers. Hell, I have been for a decade. But it's turning it over in such new, exotic, no pressure ways that is seriously affecting my health and its round two. I'm organising a class action for Melbourne board posters. We might sue Essendon. I'm not certain for what, but it will be something.

    Also, you know him of old. Does his hair come in another formation? If I'm to make it through the season the current look has to go.
     
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  13. Doss

    Doss Super Moderator

    Essendon
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    Ah, that's our Melky. At some point this year he'll win you a game with 3 goals and all will be right with the world, but then he'll be rotten the week after.

    It's what he is.
     
  14. Maddogm

    Maddogm Premium Platinum

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    I remember his kicking as being good off a step without thinking. It's when he stops to think that the trouble starts
     
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  15. freddy mercury

    freddy mercury Premiership Player

    Essendon
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    Just read on the Carlton board " Smedts to Fantasia " ** Puts life savings on Fantasia most goals **
     
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  16. Lord Nicholson

    Lord Nicholson El Supremo

    Essendon
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    27th option is usually the one Melksham opts for after spending 5 minutes contemplating it
     
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  17. Bipolarbear

    Bipolarbear Premium Platinum

    Essendon
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    Proper Gander he tends to choose when he wants to play well, he will smash Essendon when he plays us, I just know it.
     
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  18. eth-dog

    eth-dog TheBrownDog

    Essendon
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    Yep. And it'll be one where the game is extremely tight (sub 10 points). He produced that against Geelong in his second year. He did something similar to Carlton a few years back as well.

    The thing I like about Melksham the most though is his goal kicking. If you're up by 50 and can't lose a game, he will guarantee spray it. However if you're down by 3 with a minute left he will nail the shot every single time. It is the strangest thing I have ever seen.
     
  19. Lord Nicholson

    Lord Nicholson El Supremo

    Essendon
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    I'm sure he has some cosmic rationale.
     
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  20. CBombers17

    CBombers17 Club Legend

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    Sounds like the Missus.
     
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  21. Autobahn

    Autobahn Premiership Player

    Essendon
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    Q: Jake, when was the last time you played a blinder?
    A: 2011 against Geelong

    :rainbow:
     
  22. Doss

    Doss Super Moderator

    Essendon
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    In fairness he did finish fifth in our best and fairest in 2013.
     
  23. passmark

    passmark Brownlow Medallist

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    Joe Daniher is disappointed, kinda took the heat of him in gold medal ugliness.
     
  24. Doss

    Doss Super Moderator

    Essendon
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    We're all oil paintings behind our screen names.
     
  25. Mercuri Rising

    Mercuri Rising Premiership Player

    Essendon
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    the Melk giveth, and the Melk more often taketh away