Certified Legendary Thread Delusional Pearlers IV

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schmuttt said:
Just putting myself in here before some smartarse campaigner posts it with the caption 'lol snowbunnies already mad at melksham lol'
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Didn't get to watch much of the game today. I take it Melk was awful?
 

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Hi
 
Saw him kick the ball straight to the opposition from half back yesterday under no pressure and just smiled and nodded.
 
Beerfish said:
Saw him kick the ball straight to the opposition from half back yesterday under no pressure and just smiled and nodded.
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Mmmm Melksham
 
The thing is, Simon Goodwin will continue to play him. Goodwin won't want to admit he ****ed up by being the main guy behind his recruitment. This is all on him.
 
Doss said:
Didn't get to watch much of the game today. I take it Melk was awful?
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He is literally the most annoying player I have ever seen. I spent a good part of Monday ranting at an Essendon supporter about him, who thinks the whole thing is hilarious. He plays vaguely like a player for a bit, then time and time again *s everything up with some crap casual "hey I'm so clever I don't need to try" dinky little kick off a step, and turns the ball over under literally no pressure. And I can't even think what to say about his faux clever "handball without looking" to fool the opponent. Only it fools the receiver as well, and goes nowhere near the guy anyway, and we turn it over again.

I could live with the turnovers. Hell, I have been for a decade. But it's turning it over in such new, exotic, no pressure ways that is seriously affecting my health and its round two. I'm organising a class action for Melbourne board posters. We might sue Essendon. I'm not certain for what, but it will be something.

Also, you know him of old. Does his hair come in another formation? If I'm to make it through the season the current look has to go.
 
Ah, that's our Melky. At some point this year he'll win you a game with 3 goals and all will be right with the world, but then he'll be rotten the week after.

It's what he is.
 

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I remember his kicking as being good off a step without thinking. It's when he stops to think that the trouble starts
 
27th option is usually the one Melksham opts for after spending 5 minutes contemplating it
 
Proper Gander he tends to choose when he wants to play well, he will smash Essendon when he plays us, I just know it.
 
Doss said:
Ah, that's our Melky. At some point this year he'll win you a game with 3 goals and all will be right with the world, but then he'll be rotten the week after.

It's what he is.
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Yep. And it'll be one where the game is extremely tight (sub 10 points). He produced that against Geelong in his second year. He did something similar to Carlton a few years back as well.

The thing I like about Melksham the most though is his goal kicking. If you're up by 50 and can't lose a game, he will guarantee spray it. However if you're down by 3 with a minute left he will nail the shot every single time. It is the strangest thing I have ever seen.
 
eth-dog said:
However if you're down by 3 with a minute left he will nail the shot every single time. It is the strangest thing I have ever seen.
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I'm sure he has some cosmic rationale.
 
Demons recruiter:

Q: Jake, when was the last time you played a blinder?
A: 2011 against Geelong

:rainbow:
 
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