Mod. Notice Depressed? Anxious? Call Beyond Blue (1300 224636), Lifeline (131114), resources in OP

Discussion in 'AFL - The Australian Football League' started by The_Wookie, Dec 24, 2015.

Put it out there
  1. Aeglos

    Aeglos Club Legend

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    That's no good mate.
    Hope you're able to guide the gf through it, and don't forget to ask for help yourself if you start to struggle with the mental/emotional demands of it.
     

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  2. Glacier

    Glacier Premiership Player

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    words fail me
    Thoughts are with you and your partner
     
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  3. rdhopkins2

    rdhopkins2 Carpe Diem

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    This Friday night is Beyond Blue Cup at the 'G between the Hawks and Swans. Get behind the cause and help those in darkness see the light.

    I'm recovering myself. It's not easy but with professional help and the support of your family and friends, you can beat it.

    If you're suffering or know someone who is, speak up and get the help you or they deserve.
     
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  4. Pottsy011

    Pottsy011 Team Captain

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    Had no idea this thread existed. Probably need to get my blinkers off of my Richmond forum.

    Been suffering anxiety and depression since I left school 9 years ago, although I believe I suffered from anxiety a long time before that. Has been a pretty tough ride at stages.

    Really lucky I have a great partner who is really supportive and helps me through the tough times, although sometimes I do bottle things up and find it hard to speak.

    Best thing I've done is buy a French Bulldog which we called Alfred about 10 months ago. The amount of happiness he's bought into our lives is unbelievable. There's nothing better than coming home from a tough day at work and seeing him waiting at the window with excitement. It's one thing I would highly reccomend to any anxiety/depression sufferers is to get a pet. It's helped me so much.
     
  5. Ando727

    Ando727 Norm Smith Medallist

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    Very much so. My dog really got me through the worst period of my life. I think I owe my partner and family to him. He got me focussing on something/somebody else at a time when I was very inward focussed and not coming up with anything good. Pets can be a lifesaver. Often caring for something else is the first step in learning to care for yourself. I went from permanently depressed for about 5 years to being free from depression now. I don't even worry about falling back into it now. It all started the day I got my dog 8 years ago.
     
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  6. Glacier

    Glacier Premiership Player

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    Well I just had my meeting with work to discuss my PTSD and reasons for making a complete mess last year
    To have to talk about my car accident etc again was harrowing
    May get demoted for my **** ups but will just have to wait
     
  7. Pottsy011

    Pottsy011 Team Captain

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    Sorry to hear mate.

    Just remember there's always help out there.

    I hope it all works out for you.
     
  8. mxett

    mxett Brownlow Medallist

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    I hope your work were understanding
     
  9. Glacier

    Glacier Premiership Player

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    My union rep spat it that I was put back on the road after my accident
     
  10. sammm

    sammm Premium Gold

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    I am sorry for your loss
     
  11. Mister Carlton

    Mister Carlton I'M NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE.

    Carlton
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    This resonates so well with me.
     

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  12. vmasco

    vmasco Team Captain

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    Life is just one big ******* lesson and it has taken me the best part of 44 years to even begin to ask questions. Just thought I'd post here as I know from scouring the internet there are so many of us sharing the same painful experiences.

    I have finally gained the courage to post in this thread I had always felt unworthy, that my problems weren't bad enough. That I'd had a good life as a kid and shouldn't have anything to complain about.

    Its only once I started therapy that it has helped me view my childhood from an outside point of view and realise I was shafted emotionally and neglected by the adults in my life.

    Basically be seen not heard. Get out of the way you're a nuisance. I was never seriously beaten but it didn't matter when I got the message from my old man "ahh kid you're just meh. Go play so I can get on with my life, I'm not interested in you". Never good enough or victories rarely celebrated, living in the shadows of siblings, bullied by my teachers.

    Without realising it I'd been overloading myself with layers of emotional armour. I've ploughed through life thinking I have been doing alright but always with that feeling something was holding me back from my true potential, and not being able to see what it was. I married out of desperation, having had very few relationships as an adult, and now that is ****** after 13 years, and with 2 wonderful kids to save from my narcissistic wife (The cycle will continue if I don't get them away from her). Practically broke and running my business into the ground because I didn't have the emotional tools to see I was being abused by her and simply not able to run it cos of her behavior.

    Anyway my message is just hang in there and understand it is not your fault if you have always had that feeling of not being good enough, that you feel ashamed of who you are, or different to everyone else. But also know that it is possible to overcome this and get your life on track, maybe for the first time. Identifying and understanding what has shaped the toxic responses to your emotions, and learning to instead deal with them in a peaceful self-loving way, is an important step. This is where I'm at. And already my life is turning around for the better having an ideal job literally land in my lap, I have been standing up to my wife in a calm, measured way so now have her angry inner child completely bewildered and on the run, and the Tigers have their tails up!

    Also important I think is to not play the blame game and dwell on those you feel affected you negatively. **** them! Focus inwards and work on fixing yourself. You deserve your own love and to be at peace with yourself.

    Most of all be patient.

    And there it is. My old man used to tell me that I was the exact opposite!!
     
  13. Matt Stevic

    Matt Stevic Privileged White Cis Male Scumbag

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    I know how you feel. Because you didn't grow up poor or disadvantaged, didn't grow up in a broken home, and weren't overtly physically abused, it's easy to minimize your problems. It's easy to internalize your feelings and convince yourself that it's your fault that you feel this way, that you aren't emotionally strong enough. Good on you for sharing all this though, and congratulations regarding your new job!

    I'll leave you with a quote from my dad, from three days ago (when I last spoke to him) - "You need to learn to be less like yourself."

    On an unrelated note - I just bought a house, it settles soon, and I intend on moving in as soon as I can. I hate living in Melbourne and I loathe living with family (if you've followed my post history I've complained about this a lot since I stupidly moved back in). I'm super excited of course, but has anyone got any tips on letting my parents down gently?
     
  14. SydneyMalakellis

    SydneyMalakellis Senior List

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    I've found that writing down positive affirmations at the start of each day has been helping my mood.

    Stuff like

    I am strong.
    I am feeling better.
    I can achieve what I want to achieve.

    Sounds cheesy but by writing it down, it seems to start to come true. Because you start to believe and start to do things to make yourself achieve what you've written down.

    Writing down things that can give you something to aim for too is great.

    Like enter a fun run.
    Or set an employment goal.

    And always strive to achieve it. If you don't the first time, that's alright, keep up the belief.

    Look, an imbecile like Donald Trump got elected president of the US through sheer will of belief. He kept saying he was gonna be president, and he did! Even after all of the scandals he still had that belief.

    Love him or hate him, we can all learn something from him.

    Set a goal, repeat it over and over and over, and you can do it.

    Stay strong people
     
  15. Aeglos

    Aeglos Club Legend

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    Studies show that positive affirmation makes people perform better.
    Take the same group of kids in the same circumstances; if they were put in a classroom where the walls are littered with positive things like "you will succeed" or "you will do well" they'll far outperform the blank classroom version of themselves
     
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  16. TheBont

    TheBont Team Captain

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    Last few weeks I've been suffering from severe anxiety over getting older. I remember when I was a kid going to high school and chasing girls and now I'm turning 27 in a couple months with nothing to show for it. My 20s has been a blur whilst at it have been suffering from a gambling addiction for half of it which is left me with no money and heaps of debt. I've paid off some of my debt but still have more. I haven't be able to eat properly and constantly have butterflies in my stomach. Basically I'm really scared about getting older. I compare my age to other people I see and say oh I'm younger than that bloke!

    It's crazy, I'm seeing a psychologist in 9 days hope he can help me.
     
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  17. mxett

    mxett Brownlow Medallist

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    I really feel for you, and know exactly the pain you are going through. It's just horrible, but with the correct help it will improve, so there's definitely hope. I have a lot of info I can share with you if you wish so please feel free to pm me for a more detailed chat. Going to a psychologist is a good move in the right direction too. All the best
     
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  18. Bungeye

    Bungeye Draftee

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    Why do so many people involved with afl commit suicide? I don't see Aussie basketballers killing themselves
     
  19. Matt Stevic

    Matt Stevic Privileged White Cis Male Scumbag

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    I've never really been involved in AFL myself, but my guess would be sheer weight of numbers? AFL is a more dominant sport than basketball, so there are more people with depression/anxiety in AFL circles simply because more people play the sport?
     
  20. Aeglos

    Aeglos Club Legend

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    Did you just make that up?
     
  21. Plugger Mcnally

    Plugger Mcnally Debutant

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    Good onya mate. Introspection is a beautiful gift, no matter how it's found or at what stage in your life it kicks in. It's like a bloody epiphany. It has saved me from stupid decisions and reactions in my younger days and helped me cope with truly awful events here and abroad.
     
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  22. SydneyMalakellis

    SydneyMalakellis Senior List

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    Some days I just want the pain to stop. I have two beautiful kids, a good job, and a nice house, but the mental demons make me miserable so often. I can barely even take my own good advice. Urgh
     
  23. Glacier

    Glacier Premiership Player

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    Not wrong
    I'm separated at the moment
    I miss my kids, miss playing and reading books before bed
    My ex partner is horrible and is just telling so many lies about me
    Her parents told me to kill myself
    I'm struggling to hold on
    In the last 24 hours I've called lifeline, dads in distress and mensline
    They are all telling me I need to realise I'm a victim of abuse but I still love her
    God I miss my kids
     
  24. SydneyMalakellis

    SydneyMalakellis Senior List

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    The kids are primarily what keep me going. I know that they'd be the ones hurt if I did what I think about.
     
  25. Glacier

    Glacier Premiership Player

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    Pm me
    We sound like we are in the same place
     
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