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Mootsy

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Mar 13, 2015
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Honestly, everyone. See a councillor, they are people you can talk to with that have great counter methods to behavioural barriers. They will give you advice that your friends or family won't give you because of a thing called "Ego". Councillors leave "Ego" in another room.

Everyone should see Therapists. They are as important as Doctors, but people are too caught up in ego to ask for help.

Remember, if you are having a bad time, there are so many resources that can help you these days. All you need to do is make the first step, ask for assistance by experts. Don't do things by yourself and don't live inside your own head. You are far more likely to just be stuck in behavioural loops/patterns if you think you can do everything yourself.

What you might want is just to break free from wasteful behavioural loops. You might be after, A strategy to mentally deal with workplace stress. Understanding that making a simple change can open many new doors that's better than your old life. Making new friends takes planning and trying it out.

Ego and behavioural patterns gets in the way of health and progress.

Also, you can say "No" to stuff. Just because you think you have to say "yes" to everything is incorrect. Everyone these days seems to have more and more selfish interest. And if you are not assertive then people will use you or walk over you to get what they want. Now yes, there are genuinely nice people around, but, in a capitalist society many people are just self-centered.

So this is why it's important that you have your own life plan, career/job, hobbies/social, health/fitness, projects/creative, in-line with what you want to do.

If you are a person who doesn't have a life plan and isn't assertive, then the outside environment directs you and you will be put in situations you never wanted to be in. However, you aren't stuck in those worlds. Many people assume they are stuck in workplaces or stuck in situations. Nope! 100% Nope! You can always walk away.

You may feel stuck by Narcissists, nope! It's a perceptual problem, you always have the freedom to try something new if it's a direction that leads to a healthier you and environment. That's what people forget, they become stuck in behavioural loops based on delusional reasoning.

It's partly a self confidence problem. You place more importance in other people's opinion and or Ego than you do your own self. You need to be your own boss, because you are "you", you're not the narcissist making your life hard or the annoying person making your life hard. You are 100% in control of your own direction, and decisions, every single day.
 
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mightymouse75

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 26, 2011
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Yes. Therapy is great. I shopped around for mine until i found someone i connected with. Felt safe enough to open up. When i was 100% honest with this person it allowed me to lift the burden of my mother's shame that had suffocated me from childhood. To be in the same room as her and feel love and compassion for her was pretty big for me. It allows me to not contaminate my current relationships with toxicity from the past. Time for some more breaking through. I am booking in to see this person again. Im actually a little bit excited to see where it will go. A few years ago if i was in this state, it would have felt like a massive burden. Now it feels a lot lighter. So see a psychologist, therapist, psychiatrist, clergyperson or life coach. Commit 100%, play full out. Honesty will set you free.
 

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
6,432
4,405
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Adelaide
Honestly, everyone. See a councillor, they are people you can talk to with that have great counter methods to behavioural barriers. They will give you advice that your friends or family won't give you because of a thing called "Ego". Councillors leave "Ego" in another room.

Everyone should see Therapists. They are as important as Doctors, but people are too caught up in ego to ask for help.

Remember, if you are having a bad time, there are so many resources that can help you these days. All you need to do is make the first step, ask for assistance by experts. Don't do things by yourself and don't live inside your own head. You are far more likely to just be stuck in behavioural loops/patterns if you think you can do everything yourself.

What you might want is just to break free from wasteful behavioural loops. You might be after, A strategy to mentally deal with workplace stress. Understanding that making a simple change can open many new doors that's better than your old life. Making new friends takes planning and trying it out.

Ego and behavioural patterns gets in the way of health and progress.

Also, you can say "No" to stuff. Just because you think you have to say "yes" to everything is incorrect. Everyone these days seems to have more and more selfish interest. And if you are not assertive then people will use you or walk over you to get what they want. Now yes, there are genuinely nice people around, but, in a capitalist society many people are just self-centered.

So this is why it's important that you have your own life plan, career/job, hobbies/social, health/fitness, projects/creative, in-line with what you want to do.

If you are a person who doesn't have a life plan and isn't assertive, then the outside environment directs you and you will be put in situations you never wanted to be in. However, you aren't stuck in those worlds. Many people assume they are stuck in workplaces or stuck in situations. Nope! 100% Nope! You can always walk away.

You may feel stuck by Narcissists, nope! It's a perceptual problem, you always have the freedom to try something new if it's a direction that leads to a healthier you and environment. That's what people forget, they become stuck in behavioural loops based on delusional reasoning.

It's partly a self confidence problem. You place more importance in other people's opinion and or Ego than you do your own self. You need to be your own boss, because you are "you", you're not the narcissist making your life hard or the annoying person making your life hard. You are 100% in control of your own direction, and decisions, every single day.
Mostly agree with your comments. Just wanting to point out that the point of this thread isn’t to be a patient-doctor/psychologist thread. It is about the sharing of ideas so we can all learn from, and to take in what relevant bits and apply what might be useful (as a patient or as the role of a counselor).

Some of the advice so far from what I’ve read are just as gold compared to what any GP/counselors/psychologists give. Good to let out vents every so often. If it’s a regular occasion, then please anyone go seek direct face-to-face help.
 

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mxett

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 1, 2007
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Mostly agree with your comments. Just wanting to point out that the point of this thread isn’t to be a patient-doctor/psychologist thread. It is about the sharing of ideas so we can all learn from, and to take in what relevant bits and apply what might be useful (as a patient or as the role of a counselor).

Some of the advice so far from what I’ve read are just as gold compared to what any GP/counselors/psychologists give. Good to let out vents every so often. If it’s a regular occasion, then please anyone go seek direct face-to-face help.
agree. I think a lot of the advice on here is straight from people's personal success stories, or learned by trial and error, or personal research, or professional help. Of course the trained professionals are the "go to" for everyone suffering from mental illness, but support from others is also an extremely important part. In fact, being able to support others who are also feeling the way you are, or have been, is also very important IMO.
 

mightymouse75

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 26, 2011
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You can get help from many different places. Forums like these are great. There are some great resources online, in librarys.
It might just be a freind that you really trust, you might feel the need to meditate with some buddist monks in thailand or have a cry with a therapist. With my experiences with anxious & depressive thought I have gotten far more from people who walk the walk after suffering the same than people that sit behind a desk & label others after hanging out at uni for a couple of years. I even dated a psychologist, i found it hard to comprehend the arogance & lack of compassion coming from within the industry.
Used to love telling freinds, is it ok if i bring my psychologist on friday night? She didnt think it was funny. Hehe
 

dave123

Cancelled
Apr 13, 2010
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Ok by day I’m a counsellor in the drug and alcohol field

Talking to counsellor can be confronting the first time .....don’t be afraid and if you don’t gel with the counsellor find another one

Too many men are dying from suicide and drug overdoses in this country because they are afraid to seek help

Us counsellor are normal people ....we experience the normal day to day shit you do also

If your life is a struggle it wont change unless something changes ..there is pleanty of good services available Australia wide ...find one that suits you and get started.
 

Jibroni

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Jun 14, 2017
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I went through depression about 10 years ago (was drinking quite a bit). I was attending Church and my life pastor helped me to levels I could never imagine, I dare say I would not be here without him.

We are blessed in this Country to have more people from various fields practising mental health that all it takes is a phone call, speak to a close friend or family member, talk and take a step forward which for for us blokes it not easy.

Respect to anyone who seeks help!
 

dave123

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The thing is a good counsellor will just use reflective talk ....you’ve got the answers you just need somone to listen and not judge
 

Mootsy

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 13, 2015
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The thing is a good counsellor will just use reflective talk ....you’ve got the answers you just need somone to listen and not judge
You have to take notes, but they are specifically good at pinpointing your behavioural patterns very quickly and giving you that feedback that is very specific to your needs. That’s the main reason councillors are very helpful. They’ve done enough study to give you detailed strategies that make a lot of sense and fast.
 

Footy_Fan2007

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Apr 20, 2008
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anticipation anxiety is a bastard of a thing. "What if......, what if......, what if..........."

Yet the number of times those "what if's" actually happen is very small.

“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

― Mark Twain
Ahh the old “what if”. Those words have become my world as I have ocd. The real ocd not the neat freak crap everyone thinks it is.

Struggled with it in my early 20s then it went away then came back with vengeance when my first child was born (2 years ago). It’s been pretty steady since then with the occasional spike but then I had hypnotherapy around a month ago and I was going quite well . Something happened this week and it’s as bad as it’s ever been. I constantly have to ask for reassurance with everything. I’ve been seeking professional help for quite sometime.
The most difficult thing about ocd is trying to distinguish realistic thoughts from ocd thoughts. I’m having a dreadful time at the moment as I think my latest concern isnt anxiety, I think it’s real. I must have asked a dozen friends and family about the situation I’m worried about and they all same the same thing - nothing bad will happen.

The reassurance isn’t helping though. I’m not sure what can to be honest.

Thanks for reading.
 

mxett

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 1, 2007
24,045
9,721
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Essendon
Ahh the old “what if”. Those words have become my world as I have ocd. The real ocd not the neat freak crap everyone thinks it is.

Struggled with it in my early 20s then it went away then came back with vengeance when my first child was born (2 years ago). It’s been pretty steady since then with the occasional spike but then I had hypnotherapy around a month ago and I was going quite well . Something happened this week and it’s as bad as it’s ever been. I constantly have to ask for reassurance with everything. I’ve been seeking professional help for quite sometime.
The most difficult thing about ocd is trying to distinguish realistic thoughts from ocd thoughts. I’m having a dreadful time at the moment as I think my latest concern isnt anxiety, I think it’s real. I must have asked a dozen friends and family about the situation I’m worried about and they all same the same thing - nothing bad will happen.

The reassurance isn’t helping though. I’m not sure what can to be honest.

Thanks for reading.
I have no experience with OCD, only bad anxiety and a bit of depression, so I really cant offer much in the way of personal experience. I have read some books on it, and seen some youtube video's, but as with anxiety, knowing something about it is miles away from being able to help someone or understand what they're going through.

I know with my anxiety one thing eventually dawned on me. The vast majority of things I worried about never came true so in the end my thoughts of "protection" were doing nothing more than ruining my peace and happiness for no benefit. So when I worried I began to think to myself "in 6 months time will I even remember what I was worried about? Will I even remember it next week or tomorrow? Is it really a significant risk? And if my fear came true would I even remember the consequences in 6 months time?" It made me realise how stupid my fears really were, although they certainly didnt feel stupid at the time.

Good luck and thanks for sharing.
 

Will.B.Worth.Da.Waite

Premiership Player
Feb 26, 2007
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750
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Honestly, everyone. See a councillor, they are people you can talk to with that have great counter methods to behavioural barriers. They will give you advice that your friends or family won't give you because of a thing called "Ego". Councillors leave "Ego" in another room.

Everyone should see Therapists. They are as important as Doctors, but people are too caught up in ego to ask for help.

Remember, if you are having a bad time, there are so many resources that can help you these days. All you need to do is make the first step, ask for assistance by experts. Don't do things by yourself and don't live inside your own head. You are far more likely to just be stuck in behavioural loops/patterns if you think you can do everything yourself.

What you might want is just to break free from wasteful behavioural loops. You might be after, A strategy to mentally deal with workplace stress. Understanding that making a simple change can open many new doors that's better than your old life. Making new friends takes planning and trying it out.

Ego and behavioural patterns gets in the way of health and progress.

Also, you can say "No" to stuff. Just because you think you have to say "yes" to everything is incorrect. Everyone these days seems to have more and more selfish interest. And if you are not assertive then people will use you or walk over you to get what they want. Now yes, there are genuinely nice people around, but, in a capitalist society many people are just self-centered.

So this is why it's important that you have your own life plan, career/job, hobbies/social, health/fitness, projects/creative, in-line with what you want to do.

If you are a person who doesn't have a life plan and isn't assertive, then the outside environment directs you and you will be put in situations you never wanted to be in. However, you aren't stuck in those worlds. Many people assume they are stuck in workplaces or stuck in situations. Nope! 100% Nope! You can always walk away.

You may feel stuck by Narcissists, nope! It's a perceptual problem, you always have the freedom to try something new if it's a direction that leads to a healthier you and environment. That's what people forget, they become stuck in behavioural loops based on delusional reasoning.

It's partly a self confidence problem. You place more importance in other people's opinion and or Ego than you do your own self. You need to be your own boss, because you are "you", you're not the narcissist making your life hard or the annoying person making your life hard. You are 100% in control of your own direction, and decisions, every single day.
What type of costs are you looking at for therapy?
 

sthmelb_dimmies

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Jun 29, 2010
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Tyson Fury sharing incredible personal insights on his experiences with depression and how goal setting and fitness bought him through it. Live right now with Rogan.

 

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LiquidCrow

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Oct 21, 2012
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Ahh the old “what if”. Those words have become my world as I have ocd. The real ocd not the neat freak crap everyone thinks it is.

Struggled with it in my early 20s then it went away then came back with vengeance when my first child was born (2 years ago). It’s been pretty steady since then with the occasional spike but then I had hypnotherapy around a month ago and I was going quite well . Something happened this week and it’s as bad as it’s ever been. I constantly have to ask for reassurance with everything. I’ve been seeking professional help for quite sometime.
The most difficult thing about ocd is trying to distinguish realistic thoughts from ocd thoughts. I’m having a dreadful time at the moment as I think my latest concern isnt anxiety, I think it’s real. I must have asked a dozen friends and family about the situation I’m worried about and they all same the same thing - nothing bad will happen.

The reassurance isn’t helping though. I’m not sure what can to be honest.

Thanks for reading.
If it's getting to the stage where it's starting to significantly interfering with your life, a very effective treatment for actual OCD is high dose antidepressants and Exposure Response Prevention therapy. If you've tried that already, another drug option is Clomipramine, an older tricyclic antidepressant. Have treated a few people for this condition over the years, but the first one still sticks in my mind: a young kid who had spent 15+ hours a day on compulsive behaviours for 3 years before getting help, and was able to go from that to studying full time and holding down a part time job.

Your GP can refer you to see a psychologist under a mental health plan for the ERP but I'd also say you would need psychiatrist input if you haven't done so already - most GPs aren't going to be that comfortable using tricyclics or raising the dose of antidepressant to what's actually required.

Good luck, and I hope things improve.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
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One thing people with this mindset invariably miss, is that it's not up to you to decide if you can be loved - it's up to the person who might love you. There's no point being out there trying to deconstruct the reasons other people can or can't love somebody else. All we can do is get out there, be the best people we can be, and hope that love comes our way. That was certainly the case for me. I know I wasn't getting anywhere in my self-loathing phase. Eventually I got tired of it and started to ease up on myself and take more of a "take me or leave me" kind of approach. It freed me up from worrying how to please people or how to be desirable. It put the decision in their hands - all I had to do was decide if I liked them! Lucky for me, the tide turned and I found myself a great girl and now we have a little daughter. I did some work on myself to get there - did some CBT with a therapist that taught me how to avoid defeatist and unchallenged notions about myself. Things fell into place once I stopped kicking my own ass. After you stop doing that, just let the world respond to you as it chooses - don't go kicking your own ass just because you think others will. Trust me, there's somebody out there who is just your type. You just have to not be too distracted by your own head drama to notice it. Is it really necessary for you to spend so much time judging yourself? Do you think you could go a bit easier on yourself? Think about it, ok? PM me if you like. I'm happy to talk this through with you - as a surviver of exactly what you are going through.
That makes a lot of sense. Although I am curious as to your opinion on how we get to that mindset that we feel we are never good enough that we start to kick our own arses with our own thoughts and harsh criticism.

Is it our early influences? Are our thoughts developed by family, teachers, peers, locations, situations and expectations growing up? Is it the media, movies ect manipulating what we deem is acceptable and what isn’t. Or is it ourselves that feel that we aren’t worthy, that we are failures, due to genetics? I guess what I’m asking is in your opinion do you believe it’s nature or nurture as to the feelings of inadequacy?
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
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In a way I feel that I have been caught back into a rut. No matter how much I try to focus on the present, I feel that my mind keeps dragging me back to the past. My mind is full of would of, could of, should of. It’s frustrating, that I can’t move on from the past, as I blame myself, for the actions I took, the things I said, the things that happened. The person that I was. The feelings of hopelessness, hating at how weak I was, the feeling of being empty and alone. Not being worthy.

It just seems that my ambitions and goals for the future will never be obtained, as I’m stuck in the past blaming and hating myself for what I perceive to be my failures. Never being able to enjoy the now, as I continue making the same mistakes, never going forward, only backwards.

I know I’m smarter than this, just wish I could stop it.
 

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
6,432
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Ahh the old “what if”. Those words have become my world as I have ocd. The real ocd not the neat freak crap everyone thinks it is.

Struggled with it in my early 20s then it went away then came back with vengeance when my first child was born (2 years ago). It’s been pretty steady since then with the occasional spike but then I had hypnotherapy around a month ago and I was going quite well . Something happened this week and it’s as bad as it’s ever been. I constantly have to ask for reassurance with everything. I’ve been seeking professional help for quite sometime.
The most difficult thing about ocd is trying to distinguish realistic thoughts from ocd thoughts. I’m having a dreadful time at the moment as I think my latest concern isnt anxiety, I think it’s real. I must have asked a dozen friends and family about the situation I’m worried about and they all same the same thing - nothing bad will happen.

The reassurance isn’t helping though. I’m not sure what can to be honest.

Thanks for reading.
Mental health is never fun, no matter what condition you may have. It's interesting to hear about whether your anxiety is real or whether imaginary. From my understanding, OCD stems from constant negative thoughts which causes a person to do repeated behaviors to neutralise these thoughts. OCD is a subset of Anxiety, with the repeated behavior part.
So if you find you're repeatedly doing things, when people around you keep saying you should ease up on the repeated/prolonged activity, there's a good chance you might have OCD. More so if these repeated behaviors are interfering with your usual job/chores/social events.

Regarding the Anxiety, it's always best to seek a GP/psychologist. It's their job to figure out for you how severe or warranted your anxieties are. Similar to when someone having a seizure, or a faint, it's up to the relevant professions to figure out for you what your next steps are. Rule of thumb is that if it's simple stress/anxiety, then it's something that you can see improvements over time. If the situation looks like getting worse and worse, then it's time to seek help eg. counseling + medications. Perhaps do a health check as well?
 

Footy_Fan2007

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Apr 20, 2008
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Mental health is never fun, no matter what condition you may have. It's interesting to hear about whether your anxiety is real or whether imaginary. From my understanding, OCD stems from constant negative thoughts which causes a person to do repeated behaviors to neutralise these thoughts. OCD is a subset of Anxiety, with the repeated behavior part.
So if you find you're repeatedly doing things, when people around you keep saying you should ease up on the repeated/prolonged activity, there's a good chance you might have OCD. More so if these repeated behaviors are interfering with your usual job/chores/social events.

Regarding the Anxiety, it's always best to seek a GP/psychologist. It's their job to figure out for you how severe or warranted your anxieties are. Similar to when someone having a seizure, or a faint, it's up to the relevant professions to figure out for you what your next steps are. Rule of thumb is that if it's simple stress/anxiety, then it's something that you can see improvements over time. If the situation looks like getting worse and worse, then it's time to seek help eg. counseling + medications. Perhaps do a health check as well?
Yes not fun at all. I’ve been on meds for years but in the current process of swapping over due to my recent breakdown. I currently see a physiologist and am booking in to see a physiatrist.

My anxiety is 95% based around work. My boss isn’t accomodating (he’s aware of my issues) and I dread going in every day. He puts pressure on to get things done quick and that makes it so much worse. He makes me feel like I’m a burden. I need a break from it but it’s difficult as I have 2 young kids and it would only make financial struggles more difficult. My wife is seeking full time work so I’ll see what comes of that. I feel like I’ll crack if I keep going the way things are.

Ocd always works in the worst possible outcome. The best way I can describe it is this - your walking along the street and you accidentally kick a rock on the footpath. You kick it out of the way to the grass because you think a kid or someone might trip over it and hurt themselves. It’s on the grass now but you think “what if someone’s cutting their lawn and it gets caught in the blades and flicks out and hits someone”. Then You move the rock again. Then you find another reason that someone could get hurt. So you pick it up and throw it in the bin. Then you worry the guy collecting the garbage will somehow get hurt. Not surprisingly a lot of ocd sufferers are hoarders.

It’s never ending. It only stops when I sleep.
 
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JB1975

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I've been depressed since I was 15 or so, and after a few decades I've started to realise that depression is a rather trusty companion. It comes and goes, but it can be relied upon not to leave for long, and there are times when I wonder if it ever really leaves at all.

If I'm honest, I wonder if I'd really know myself in the absence of depression. I can't remember the last time I felt a 'lightness' of being: there are really only shades of darkness. It is a life in which the past is more present in me than the moment. My experiences with counsellors and therapists have been fleeting and futile, and my aversion to medication pretty much condemns me. I know that other people are inclined to fight their shadows, but I've arrived at a view that I can only hope to try and anticipate mine, negotiate with them, and take a few measures of harm minimisation which will serve to get me through another round of punishment.
 

John Who

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Apr 16, 2017
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I've been depressed since I was 15 or so, and after a few decades I've started to realise that depression is a rather trusty companion. It comes and goes, but it can be relied upon not to leave for long, and there are times when I wonder if it ever really leaves at all.

If I'm honest, I wonder if I'd really know myself in the absence of depression. I can't remember the last time I felt a 'lightness' of being: there are really only shades of darkness. It is a life in which the past is more present in me than the moment. My experiences with counsellors and therapists have been fleeting and futile, and my aversion to medication pretty much condemns me. I know that other people are inclined to fight their shadows, but I've arrived at a view that I can only hope to try and anticipate mine, negotiate with them, and take a few measures of harm minimisation which will serve to get me through another round of punishment.
I think it's the luck of the draw, where some meet depression frequently, whilst others meet it much less, or for very fleeting moments.

Another perspective, is that maybe you're just a realist? Life is actually hard. People who have never experienced depression are perhaps very positive-minded, or perhaps just in denial?
 

JB1975

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Another perspective, is that maybe you're just a realist? Life is actually hard. People who have never experienced depression are perhaps very positive-minded, or perhaps just in denial?
Some of what you're saying here goes to a view that depression is perhaps a matter of temperament, shaped by circumstance and the accumulation of life experience. Whatever I've been through, though, I have met other people who've suffered worse but who have rarely or never suffered from depression. These are people who know --or who have known-- exactly how hard life can be, and yet they have little or no familiarity with the abyss of clinical depression. On the other hand I've met people who have experienced far less hardship, but for the crippling effects of depression itself.

I think it's the luck of the draw, where some meet depression frequently, whilst others meet it much less, or for very fleeting moments.
This sounds more right to me; it's about chance.

Anyway, these sorts of thoughts are probably less useful than the question of how people play the hand they've been dealt, which I suppose can be as varied as how people experience depression in the first place.
 

raymond35

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Hello to anyone who happens to read this and thanks for your time.
I want to unload a few things on here as i am an intensely private person and will not be speaking to a counselor, but feel it may help to express a few things on here, knowing that a few of you good people will see it.
I am in a terrible state today due to drinking and gambling yesterday which did not work out well.
I suffer from quite bad ocd and have had a couple of big bouts of depression, one when i was a teenager over some not so important stuff and one when my wife left me in most unpleasant circumstances. Interested in some of the ocd comments here, as i noticed that it went away a bit when i was on antidepressants for 6 months.
I work a very boring but reasonably simple dead end job, but what keeps me going are 2 things, my love of Australian rules football and my pride in my son, who is a cracking fellow. I unfortunately feel a lot of guilt that he doesn't have everything he should have due to both his parents being idiots and always broke, but he's still doing ok and knows how i feel about him.
I have noticed as i get older i am finding it increasingly difficult to put up with morons and w***ers you come across in daily life. It may be in part due to my personality being altered by the trauma of being attacked by a masked gang with knives one night recently, but those imbeciles were arrested the next day over other attacks anyway. I live next to a deadset idiot at the moment who is making it hard for me to get much sleep and am having trouble getting this fool out of my thoughts all day.
It would be great to just move forward and not worry about the past as some people are able to, but that is not my makeup unfortunately.
Days like today, believe it or not, i think of a guy i used to know who had a similar personality to me and we got on really well, but one day he went berserk and murdered all his family. At least i haven't done that, i think to myself. Often wonder what he'd be like now if you were to visit him in jail.
The comment about people with ocd often being hoarders is interesting, as every one in my family is a hoarder except me. I actually own virtually nothing and if the house was on fire would comfortably run out of the house carrying my framed Collingwood premiership item and favorite picture of my son and couldn't care less what happened to everything else.
Anyhoo, thanks for reading my ramblings and hopefully we all get some sleep and tomorrows a better day.
 

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
6,432
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AFL Club
Adelaide
Some of what you're saying here goes to a view that depression is perhaps a matter of temperament, shaped by circumstance and the accumulation of life experience. Whatever I've been through, though, I have met other people who've suffered worse but who have rarely or never suffered from depression. These are people who know --or who have known-- exactly how hard life can be, and yet they have little or no familiarity with the abyss of clinical depression. On the other hand I've met people who have experienced far less hardship, but for the crippling effects of depression itself.



This sounds more right to me; it's about chance.

Anyway, these sorts of thoughts are probably less useful than the question of how people play the hand they've been dealt, which I suppose can be as varied as how people experience depression in the first place.
I was sort of talking on a philosophical level, being involved in both ends of mental illness as a carer/counselor as well as being on the receiving end of it. All I can say is that mental illness is complex, and rarely exist in a person as a sole problem. Often, there are coexisting problems such as physical illness(es), lack of supports, drugs/alcohol, addiction issues. Luck and genetics too!

It is a complex issue, and rarely can you be "cured" of such a problem. Best way is to try and adapt as stress issues are always happening every morning you wake up, in the modern era of online and societal expectations.
 

Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
5,862
12,119
AFL Club
Melbourne
That makes a lot of sense. Although I am curious as to your opinion on how we get to that mindset that we feel we are never good enough that we start to kick our own arses with our own thoughts and harsh criticism.

Is it our early influences? Are our thoughts developed by family, teachers, peers, locations, situations and expectations growing up? Is it the media, movies ect manipulating what we deem is acceptable and what isn’t. Or is it ourselves that feel that we aren’t worthy, that we are failures, due to genetics? I guess what I’m asking is in your opinion do you believe it’s nature or nurture as to the feelings of inadequacy?
Hi Nugett, sorry I missed this post til today.

I think the vast majority of cases of low self-esteem originate in childhood experiences. But that's not to say that they can't be developed later in life - at any age actually. Different stages in life present you with different opportunities to be messed with if you are unlucky enough to be around such a person. Usually the damage from childhood is the hardest to overcome because so much of one's brain development weaves itself around those early ideas. Also, a lot of what is accepted as truth about oneself has never been challenged in any way - it simply is as it always was, and seemingly always will be.

This is why I think anybody with low self-esteem needs to visit somebody who can help them attain some level of objectivity and critical thinking. Usually a psychologist, but there are other avenues. People who tend to inflict damage on others seem to know how to manipulate them by bypassing their critical thinking and working on their insecurities. They find ways to install beliefs in their victims that are long lasting - usually things that can't be directly challenged. They aren't things a person did wrong, but rather what is supposedly intrinsically wrong with them. It is very insidious, but it can still be overcome. Social media provides new ways to mess with a person's self esteem these days - it's something to be careful of.

Anyone who has been through this needs a very reliable and compassionate therapist who is willing to unpack and examine all the negative self-beliefs a person holds and where they came from. They have to slowly turn them around to the thinking in a fair way rather than a biased way about the self. It really can be done successfully. I have overcome most of my negative scripting from childhood. It took a while, but it was well worth the effort I put in. I don't really get depressed anymore. I would consider myself a happy person and good things have come my way since I made that effort. I don't think much good was coming my way until I did the work on myself.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
4,295
4,931
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Hi Nugett, sorry I missed this post til today.

I think the vast majority of cases of low self-esteem originate in childhood experiences. But that's not to say that they can't be developed later in life - at any age actually. Different stages in life present you with different opportunities to be messed with if you are unlucky enough to be around such a person. Usually the damage from childhood is the hardest to overcome because so much of one's brain development weaves itself around those early ideas. Also, a lot of what is accepted as truth about oneself has never been challenged in any way - it simply is as it always was, and seemingly always will be.

This is why I think anybody with low self-esteem needs to visit somebody who can help them attain some level of objectivity and critical thinking. Usually a psychologist, but there are other avenues. People who tend to inflict damage on others seem to know how to manipulate them by bypassing their critical thinking and working on their insecurities. They find ways to install beliefs in their victims that are long lasting - usually things that can't be directly challenged. They aren't things a person did wrong, but rather what is supposedly intrinsically wrong with them. It is very insidious, but it can still be overcome. Social media provides new ways to mess with a person's self esteem these days - it's something to be careful of.

Anyone who has been through this needs a very reliable and compassionate therapist who is willing to unpack and examine all the negative self-beliefs a person holds and where they came from. They have to slowly turn them around to the thinking in a fair way rather than a biased way about the self. It really can be done successfully. I have overcome most of my negative scripting from childhood. It took a while, but it was well worth the effort I put in. I don't really get depressed anymore. I would consider myself a happy person and good things have come my way since I made that effort. I don't think much good was coming my way until I did the work on myself.
Thanks Ando. I tend to agree with you regarding childhood memories coming into play. I need to head back to counseling/psychologist. Despite the recent changes I made in my life, which are a positive, I still feel that I tend to self sabotage myself. For most of my life, it feels as if I have lived my life through others. Trying to live out their achievements rather than mine. Always being made to feel that I’m responsible for others people’s mistakes, being made to feel that I’m accountable for other people’s actions. Until I finally lash out and unload my frustrations, anger, hurt onto others, as well as myself. In my case, I think it’s my childhood, as to why I feel always responsible and accountable, due to having to live with various family members, family friends, strangers for long periods. 3months to 18 months at a time. So to understand as a kid, as to why your parents are constantly leaving you, logically you look inwards to try and explain their constant absences in your young life. Any way I have transgressed.
 

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