Mod. Notice Depressed? Anxious? Call Beyond Blue (1300 224636), Lifeline (131114), resources in OP

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
6,431
4,405
AFL Club
Adelaide
Thanks Ando. I tend to agree with you regarding childhood memories coming into play. I need to head back to counseling/psychologist. Despite the recent changes I made in my life, which are a positive, I still feel that I tend to self sabotage myself. For most of my life, it feels as if I have lived my life through others. Trying to live out their achievements rather than mine. Always being made to feel that I’m responsible for others people’s mistakes, being made to feel that I’m accountable for other people’s actions. Until I finally lash out and unload my frustrations, anger, hurt onto others, as well as myself. In my case, I think it’s my childhood, as to why I feel always responsible and accountable, due to having to live with various family members, family friends, strangers for long periods. 3months to 18 months at a time. So to understand as a kid, as to why your parents are constantly leaving you, logically you look inwards to try and explain their constant absences in your young life. Any way I have transgressed.
Childhood traumas are actually a very important part of focus in psychology/psychiatry. The memories and thoughts when we were young molds as to where we are today. So understanding what we went through, and accepting the traumas is a very important part of the "self". Most importantly though, it's important to develop ourselves continually throughout all stages of life whether you're in your 20s or in your 60s. The key word is "adapting" to your current environment and current stress issues. If you repeatedly end up in psychological distress then you need to figure out ways to overcome them. If you keep doing the same actions/thoughts over and over again (like when you were much younger), then it would lead to continual issues when meeting the harsh reality of the real world.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
4,295
4,931
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Childhood traumas are actually a very important part of focus in psychology/psychiatry. The memories and thoughts when we were young molds as to where we are today. So understanding what we went through, and accepting the traumas is a very important part of the "self". Most importantly though, it's important to develop ourselves continually throughout all stages of life whether you're in your 20s or in your 60s. The key word is "adapting" to your current environment and current stress issues. If you repeatedly end up in psychological distress then you need to figure out ways to overcome them. If you keep doing the same actions/thoughts over and over again (like when you were much younger), then it would lead to continual issues when meeting the harsh reality of the real world.
I understand where your coming from. As a child, my mother states I couldn’t talk. Despite the fact, my grandparents I lived with for at least 18months of my first 2 years of being born, would tell stories of me actually talking. Me not talking around my parents, and the concerns around that, occurred when I was about 5. That was after I lived with a school librarian and her older kids for about another 18 months give or take a couple months. Once again there were no issues around my mutism, as I vividly remember joining into my favourite bits of green eggs and ham, as it was being read to me.(being read to was the only way they could get me to sleep back then!) which makes me self diagnose as having selective mutism. It has only really been established as a disorder in the past 20 years, so really can’t say for certain.
Here is a website that goes into more depth.

https://selectivemutismcenter.org/whatisselectivemutism/

It does explain a lot to me, especially my withdrawing/pushing away from people, when I’m sad, scared, anxious ect. It also explains why I’m socially awkward as well.

I did spend 2 years of schooling at a deaf school in speech therapy.
 

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John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
6,431
4,405
AFL Club
Adelaide
In light of some recent tragic news to an AFL player, hoping everyone of us can remain strong and overcome the adversities. Please stay safe everyone for the Christmas holidays!
 

smasha

🏆17 🏆19 🐅
Sep 7, 2003
39,283
36,588
AFL Club
Richmond
Just ease up on the drink,it does amplify emotions,just keep emotions in check if someone tries to trigger feelings at a party.
Hold the emotions in and have a laugh to yourself.

Stay safe Aussie sisters and brothers.
 

The_Wookie

Queenslander
Jul 2, 2010
32,816
30,557
AFL Club
Carlton
Hi guys!

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread over the last year!

Christmas and New Year can be among the more difficult times of the year for folks suffering depression or having issues with loneliness, particularly those that have lost loved ones in recent times. Remember that there are folks around who can help, even if its just someone to talk to - be it family, friends, priests/ministers or professionals.

Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636
Lifeline - 13 11 14

Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800

There are other resources in the opening post of the thread.
 

Matt Stevic

Privileged White Cis Male Scumbag
Oct 29, 2012
4,566
7,662
AFL Club
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smasha

🏆17 🏆19 🐅
Sep 7, 2003
39,283
36,588
AFL Club
Richmond
Merry Christmas to all. It’s a bloody tough time of year. If you’re lonely - from my experience, things just get worse. My Christmas party is going to be 100% alcohol free.
Don't worry mate,I haven't drank since Richmond's last game,riding the anxiety best I can.

All those suffering at Christmas,I have you in my thoughts.

p.S. I don't mind hipster music as long as they don't introduce me to their rich parents.

Love The Smashing Pumpkins but I wouldn't want to meet Billy Corgan if you know what I mean.
 
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Matt Stevic

Privileged White Cis Male Scumbag
Oct 29, 2012
4,566
7,662
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Parramatta Eels, Arsenal, The Exers
Don't worry mate,I haven't drank since Richmond's last game,riding the anxiety best I can.

All those suffering at Christmas,I have you in my thoughts.

p.S. I don't mind hipster music as long as they don't introduce me to their rich parents.

Love The Smashing Pumpkins but I wouldn't want to meet Billy Corgan if you know what I mean.
Thanks for the reply mate.

Today was bloody tough. Had a few people over to mine, wasn’t too bad a day - but now that they’ve all left a few hours ago and I’m here on my own, I’m feeling pretty crap. I wish I could spend Christmas time with someone special, but then I realise that the last (and longest) relationship I have had was a total sham, and she never had any feelings for me and just up and left. Makes me feel worthless. Unlovable, really.

My self esteem is down the drain.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
4,295
4,931
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Thanks for the reply mate.

Today was bloody tough. Had a few people over to mine, wasn’t too bad a day - but now that they’ve all left a few hours ago and I’m here on my own, I’m feeling pretty crap. I wish I could spend Christmas time with someone special, but then I realise that the last (and longest) relationship I have had was a total sham, and she never had any feelings for me and just up and left. Makes me feel worthless. Unlovable, really.

My self esteem is down the drain.
My Xmas last year was pretty horrible, spent it all alone. Going through a break up of sorts, back then still with feelings for her, also knowing that from the get go she was using me, wether it was for emotional, financial or physical support. Feeling that I was stuck in a dead end job.

Being lonely sucks, I know. How ever, the only reason I was lonely at the time, was I never liked myself, I based my happiness on other people’s acceptence, having the need to feel wanted in work ect. In the past 12 months, I’ve slowly started to realise at what a good, nice person I am. As a matter of fact I’m ******* awesome!!!

As soon as I started to realise this, good things started to happen for me, it wasn’t quick, there is still life’s struggles that I can’t control. But good things are happening, because I’m content with who I am, I’m not looking or searching for approval as much.
I’ve just recently met someone, while it’s in its infancy and it may or may not be the person for me. I’m doubtful if we could have connected the way we have if I was still wanting others acceptance. Because without my own acceptance of myself, I reallly couldn’t accept other people, instead I would push them away.

Mate your a good person, I have no doubt. Here to listen if you want to talk, either through this page or privately. It’s only the begging, not the end.
 

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raymond35

All Australian
Jan 5, 2004
960
1,328
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
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Childhood traumas are actually a very important part of focus in psychology/psychiatry. The memories and thoughts when we were young molds as to where we are today. So understanding what we went through, and accepting the traumas is a very important part of the "self". Most importantly though, it's important to develop ourselves continually throughout all stages of life whether you're in your 20s or in your 60s. The key word is "adapting" to your current environment and current stress issues. If you repeatedly end up in psychological distress then you need to figure out ways to overcome them. If you keep doing the same actions/thoughts over and over again (like when you were much younger), then it would lead to continual issues when meeting the harsh reality of the real world.
Geez this is a good post.
My ridiculous childhood has had an enormous impact on who i have become.
Would love to unload all about it, but would make it pretty obvious to people i know who i am and who the relatives in question are.
Made a point of NOT doing the things that were done to me to my own son and he has turned out great.
Interesting comments about Christmas above. It's not just being lonely but being around crazy people and doing your best to cope with them. Anyway we have made it through.
Today is really bad. But tomorrow should be better.
Never give up everyone.
 

dylan93

Club Legend
Mar 16, 2011
1,967
1,419
AFL Club
Melbourne
A year and a bit since I last posted in here. Back into working full time in a couple weeks, also have cut out various toxic "friends" in my life that have been holding me back, constantly picking on me, etc, etc. Still on one type of medication mainly to help me sleep and does a bit for anxiety.

Also started going gym very recently for an hour each day, and have actually dropped 2 kgs in just under a week. This as well as an app such as MoodTracker I reckon can be extremely beneficial.

I've found extended family have been a great help through all of this, the bulk of my friends not so much (just goes to show that unfortunately the stigma still exists, but one day I think we'll get to the point that there's more of an understanding and at least empathy).

I'm truly in a better place now than where I was from about mid 2017 to around mid 2018. There is a light at the end of the tunnel guys, this pain is simply temporary. :)
 

The_Wookie

Queenslander
Jul 2, 2010
32,816
30,557
AFL Club
Carlton
A year and a bit since I last posted in here. Back into working full time in a couple weeks, also have cut out various toxic "friends" in my life that have been holding me back, constantly picking on me, etc, etc. Still on one type of medication mainly to help me sleep and does a bit for anxiety.

Also started going gym very recently for an hour each day, and have actually dropped 2 kgs in just under a week. This as well as an app such as MoodTracker I reckon can be extremely beneficial.

I've found extended family have been a great help through all of this, the bulk of my friends not so much (just goes to show that unfortunately the stigma still exists, but one day I think we'll get to the point that there's more of an understanding and at least empathy).

I'm truly in a better place now than where I was from about mid 2017 to around mid 2018. There is a light at the end of the tunnel guys, this pain is simply temporary. :)
Great news! Keep it up mate.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
4,295
4,931
AFL Club
Hawthorn
**** this world,I cant take this pain anymore,no amount of talking g can fix this crap
I’m joining the Chorus mate. You may feel that it’s no use talking, but a lot of us are willing to listen for when you do want to talk. Until you decide that you want to talk, take care of yourself. Please.
 

beema limapep

🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
Oct 29, 2017
5,340
8,400
AFL Club
Richmond
i heard a quote a while back that went along the lines of:-

"Life is beautiful. Its brutal. But its beautiful."

Kind of makes sense to me and my own ongoing story and struggles. Life is bloody difficult sometimes, even alot of the times its an extremely harsh journey. But its beautiful and so worth it.

Im not religious or a new age nutter but i do believe, based on intuition and a bit of research, we are here for a reason and this life is a stepping stone. Live it well and do your best. From the harshest times comes the best opportunity for learning and growth. Nobody is perfect, in many ways we are flawed, but do your best.

ok ill end my rant there!
 

sammm

Premium Gold
Nov 15, 2000
7,214
5,472
AFL Club
St Kilda
My father died in September. I knew he didn't like me or my brother. I now know this for a fact as his will was nasty, mean and mischievous.

It has now been a difficult few months. I have had to read 3 different versions of his will all of which emphasized his feelings towards us.

We have lawyers involved and we have no idea of the outcome and what in the end we will feel.

Very few people or friends are interested in listening.
 

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