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Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
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I've been reading this thread for well over 12 months, and seeing the wide range of help and support offered throughout.
I lost my dad on Friday night rather suddenly to a heart-related issue.

I never understood the deep impact of losing a parent until this moment.
Walking into the family home and seeing all the projects he had started that he will never get to finish shatters me.
I really feel for you, man. That must be devastating. Feel free to post here any time you need to or feel like it. It's a great thread, and unprecedented in the sense that there have been practically no trolling antics at all. It's a safe place. My advice would be not to hold it in, whatever you're feeling. Let it out, don't be embarrassed to cry - by yourself or with others. Be with your family and people you trust to take care of you. Take some time off if you need to. Take care, mate.
 

Bush_Chook

Debutant
Oct 30, 2017
110
595
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Fremantle
I've been reading this thread for well over 12 months, and seeing the wide range of help and support offered throughout.
I lost my dad on Friday night rather suddenly to a heart-related issue.

I never understood the deep impact of losing a parent until this moment.
Walking into the family home and seeing all the projects he had started that he will never get to finish shatters me.
Hey mate, there probably isn't much I can say that will remove the burden of such a loss. Life has a habit of hitting us like a truck when we least expect it. Take the time to grief and reflect on his life and his legacy that lives on through you and your family members.

There's a good anecdote someone told me whilst we had coffee when I went through something similar (death of someone close to me), I think it comes from Bhuddist teachings and is referring to one of my favourite mugs I happened to be drinking out of: it's certain that it will break at some point in the future or become damaged whether that be in the next few minutes or 10 years down the track. Whilst it's sad that this will happen we should find comfort and peace in the fact that I managed to find some joy and happiness with said item even if that happiness was temporary.

Time will heal all wounds even if it doesn't seem like it

If you need a chat sling me a message,
Chookie.
 

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
6,685
4,555
AFL Club
Adelaide
I've been reading this thread for well over 12 months, and seeing the wide range of help and support offered throughout.
I lost my dad on Friday night rather suddenly to a heart-related issue.

I never understood the deep impact of losing a parent until this moment.
Walking into the family home and seeing all the projects he had started that he will never get to finish shatters me.
Condolences mate! Wish you all the best to get through this rough period. Whatever mixed emotions you may have, just know these are natural human responses!
 

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Shane Heard

Premiership Player
Mar 11, 2018
3,071
5,406
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Essendon
I've been reading this thread for well over 12 months, and seeing the wide range of help and support offered throughout.
I lost my dad on Friday night rather suddenly to a heart-related issue.

I never understood the deep impact of losing a parent until this moment.
Walking into the family home and seeing all the projects he had started that he will never get to finish shatters me.
Sudden unexpected grief is a huge shock to the nervous system on a grand scale. Completely different situation to stress or anxiety..but just as emotionally felt.

Give yourself time to feel the impact of it all. And understand that there is no time limit on how long it will last.

Could be months..could be years.

But whatever you’re feeling ...no matter how bad it feels...it’s all ok to grieve a profound loss of a loved one.

Whatever you do though, avoid the temptation to use excessive alcohol or drug use as a numbing solution.
 

Shane Heard

Premiership Player
Mar 11, 2018
3,071
5,406
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Essendon
If you’re struggling to understand why you constantly suffer from stress, anxiety or any kind of overwhelming fear of situations in your life, I urge you to get on YouTube and watch the many wonderful talks by the great Dr Bruce Lipton.

Educating yourself about the basic biological reasons why we all do what we do as humans in this complex modern world, will go along way in getting yourself back on track to good stable mental health.

We are all human..all the same...and really not that different from our animal friends when it comes to dealing with stressful moments.

Eventually accepting that we are all constantly effected by stress and anxiety in different ways, goes along way in getting on top of it all.
Start with the belief that you can lead a good healthy life if you just give yourself time to listen to the experts who study this stuff at a basic biological and neurological level.

The best thing about Lipton is that he explains it all in an easy to understand way and gets straight to the heart of what makes us tick.

 
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mxett

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 1, 2007
24,156
9,838
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
I've been reading this thread for well over 12 months, and seeing the wide range of help and support offered throughout.
I lost my dad on Friday night rather suddenly to a heart-related issue.

I never understood the deep impact of losing a parent until this moment.
Walking into the family home and seeing all the projects he had started that he will never get to finish shatters me.
So sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in February after a surprisingly quick battle with Alzheimer's. It wasnt sudden which I suppose is good, but watching him slowly disappear as a person over the length of a year was horrible.

Makes you appreciate the things we have in life, and those we love who are still with us. Gratitude for what we have is a hugely important part of mental health I believe. It really helps to meditate and be thankful for the things we still have, and to try and balance that with mourning the things we've lost.

All the best
 

Aeglos

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Sep 27, 2016
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Twist_of_Lemon

Club Legend
Sep 6, 2008
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Hopefully this study leads to a new, more effective, treatment direction.
Fingers crossed. Medical science at its core blows my mind. The strides that have been made from the early days of psychiatry to today in such a relatively short period of time is incredible.

The people involved can never get enough credit for their work. Heinz Lehmann's story is a great one for anyone who enjoys learning about the trials and tribulations of trying to find better methods to help people back in the earlier days of psychiatry. My dad is schizophrenic, thus while he had to endure some awful drugs along the way starting in the 60's, with the worst being trifluoperazine, he also benefited in the end when they found the right medication for him, that being clozapine.
 

Shane Heard

Premiership Player
Mar 11, 2018
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Harsh but true...the first 4mins is brutal advice from a professional who’s sat in front of hundreds of people suffering from depression. It’s just the way the human condition is...there’s no way to sugar coat it.

Hope it helps someone who’s trying to cut through the bullshit and identify what the main problems are in their life...


 

kane249

IDDQD
Oct 27, 2006
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Today we lay to rest a friend of mine from high school / University who sadly took his own life. Was married last year and had his first kid on the way in November.

On the surface he seemed like the typical happy go lucky person, but underneath even his closest friends didn't know the battles he was going through and only his family knew what was going on. His mates are still struggling to come to terms with his loss and wondering what they could have done if he had only spoken up.

If you are in a bad place please speak to someone, your loss will be felt greatly by those you leave behind who love and care for you. There is no shame or judgement, only help and understanding.
 

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Shane Heard

Premiership Player
Mar 11, 2018
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So much valuable advice here..it might take a few views to take in all the information but it’s worth it folks.

Think of how lucky we are in this internet world these days where we have free access to so many professionals who study anxiety and depression and talk about what they know from years of experience in the field.

Dr Jordan Peterson: How he treats anxiety.



 

Aeglos

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Sep 27, 2016
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Unfortunately it seems a young lad (16 y/old) from Emerald FC took his own life some time on Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

Remember that if your struggling there is always someone that can and will help.
Or that if you’re worried about someone don’t be afraid to skip the BS and flat out ask them if they’re contemplating suicide.
 
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Bunkdar

All Australian
Aug 29, 2018
807
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GWS
I think the fact you’ve posted here is enough to give you the stimulus to make a start on it. Book an appointment with a GP you trust and get a referral to a counsellor. It makes a pretty big difference knowing there are people out there willing to help and to talk to. You get a very different perspective on it when you open up.
u serious ?
 

Shane Heard

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Mar 11, 2018
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radiojake

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Nov 28, 2011
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Danny Frawley's passing has created some angst in his thread regarding people open in discussing self harm versus respecting his memory

it's a tough one - I posted this in the thread originally but maybe here is better?


I can see both sides to the not reporting the 'whole story' aspect versus being open and honest about it all - I think there is definitely a balance between both that can be reached and people grieve differently

For the most part I would have been closer on the 'let's talk about it' aspect of it, until only a week before Majak's incident, my brother had to pull his mate off the train tracks when he got there too late

When the Majak incident broke, and it was all through the media, my brother was pretty ropable about it all, and he was saying that if it was his mate's incident all on the news, that it would 'fu** him up even more' if it kept being put in his face

Time and place, I guess
 

Aeglos

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Sep 27, 2016
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Danny Frawley's passing has created some angst in his thread regarding people open in discussing self harm versus respecting his memory

it's a tough one - I posted this in the thread originally but maybe here is better?


I can see both sides to the not reporting the 'whole story' aspect versus being open and honest about it all - I think there is definitely a balance between both that can be reached and people grieve differently

For the most part I would have been closer on the 'let's talk about it' aspect of it, until only a week before Majak's incident, my brother had to pull his mate off the train tracks when he got there too late

When the Majak incident broke, and it was all through the media, my brother was pretty ropable about it all, and he was saying that if it was his mate's incident all on the news, that it would 'fu** him up even more' if it kept being put in his face

Time and place, I guess
It’s a tough one for sure, and tbh I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer.
My own opinion is that talking about it has the greatest effect in the time immediately following the incident (and I think this extends beyond suicide to family violence, drink driving, terrorism etc etc), but I can understand that it is an invasion of privacy for those involved and may make it harder for them to move on/recover.

In response to your opening line; I believe it is still possible to respect his memory and discuss the topic of depression/suicide.
 

MightyHawks

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 6, 2003
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I've been reading this thread for well over 12 months, and seeing the wide range of help and support offered throughout.
I lost my dad on Friday night rather suddenly to a heart-related issue.

I never understood the deep impact of losing a parent until this moment.
Walking into the family home and seeing all the projects he had started that he will never get to finish shatters me.
Hope you are doing well

Your parents are always your parents and losing them has a bigger impact than you would have thought it would

My Dad passed away over 10 years now, yet the instant reaction I had to hearing that Polly Farmer had died is that I should tell Dad.
 

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