Mod. Notice Depressed? Anxious? Call Beyond Blue (1300 224636), Lifeline (131114), resources in OP

snozulu

Sack Ken Sack koch Sack Keith Sack the Board
Oct 1, 2014
6,107
8,358
NeverNevers
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
This week is Mental Health week.
Please take a moment to think of all those who’s hands reached out, but couldn’t touch. Life is precious. Be kind to those less fortunate, and those that we know are struggling. A mere smile or nod to a stranger, could change their day or even their world ...
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

SteppingTiger

All Australian
Feb 6, 2014
853
1,635
Brisbane
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
So I think I am at the end, must be if I have finally posted here.

I have battled depression on a couple of occasions in the last 7-8 years. Self esteem/worth issues. Happily married, 3 kids, good job that I was good at and enjoyed, just felt like I was never achieving or providing enough. Expectations were mine, not from my wife or daughters. I got through this with support from my wife, mental health plan and medication. When it happened again I was in a bigger house and earning 25% more and enjoying work even more.

About 2 years ago my wife had a crisis of confidence in her own business and saw a business coach, this lead to her seeing a somewhat spiritual psych to help her really see what she wanted to do/achieve/specialise in etc for her business, to find her ‘purpose’. From there the problems started.

She started becoming bored and dissatisfied. With our life and with me. She withdrew from me physically and emotionally. I was very loving and patient,gave her a lot support for the business, for getting to time to herself, taking time out of work so she could get to networking events and alike.

The result was she went further from me and despite the couples counselling and making time for ourselves, she decided to call it off. I had just finished a call with the bank organising extra cash to buy a house we wanted so it was a bit of a shock. This was in March.
I know it was not another person, there was no drugs, alcohol or abuse issues. No lies or deceit. She just fell out of love and felt life is better without me.

Compared to a loving husband, caring dad, 6 figure salary, that did all the washing, cleaning up, lawns, laundry, ironing for 3 school girls and all the grocery shopping turns out having none of it is better than having to live with me.

Now we live 4 mins drive apart, we helped each other move, helped set up each of our places, have a 40/60 split in time for the kids share all expenses in the kids, share the Spotify account etc, all to impact the kids as little as possible. It is the most amicable/working split as possible.

The rub is I am dead. I have no joy or hope of any sort. No feeling of purpose or reason to do anything or go on in anyway. Medication, psych etc is all in place but it isn’t helping. I got a new job 12 months ago and have already had to have a 2 week break to manage a breakdown (relationship but also massive work stress, doing 14-15 hour days and constantly overwhelmed with workload. In 7 days there was over 1000 emails that were actioned/managed by a group of people, while I was away). The work stress has improved somewhat.

My life has become lonely. My friends are all aware but it seems that I am not worth the effort of a check in call, text or an invite for a drink.

I drive 45-50 mins every day to work and more days than not have been crying and yelling most of the way. Still the game face goes on and the office and my clients know none of what was happening 5 mins earlier.

They don’t know that most nights are 3-4 hours max sleep. That on weekends I don’t get out of bed for 4-5 hours. That on weekdays I spend 40 mins in the shower, most of it lying on the floor crying.

Thing is my friends and family know this. Some of them have copped the crying and sobbing on the way to work and haven’t checked in after. Some have had the calls at night and heard all the misery and check in the next morning, but never again over the next few days or weeks.

Today I decided not to go to work. 2 hours sleep the last 3 nights and 2 midnight calls to lifeline I just couldn’t make it up out of bed again. I have spent all day in my own.

I think it has been prompted by a strong likely hood my wife has found someone, I have overheard her talking to her friend and there is excitement and energy in her voice talking about seeing someone (she didn’t realise I was in the next room). It has reminded me that aside from her I have had no relationships with women and whilst I have tried to meet, turns out the hype around tinder and other apps doesn’t ring true for me (I am 42). Loneliness is my new norm.

TL/DR - life is f’ed, I am over it, I am done
 

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
5,993
4,124
AFL Club
Adelaide
So I think I am at the end, must be if I have finally posted here.

I have battled depression on a couple of occasions in the last 7-8 years. Self esteem/worth issues. Happily married, 3 kids, good job that I was good at and enjoyed, just felt like I was never achieving or providing enough. Expectations were mine, not from my wife or daughters. I got through this with support from my wife, mental health plan and medication. When it happened again I was in a bigger house and earning 25% more and enjoying work even more.

About 2 years ago my wife had a crisis of confidence in her own business and saw a business coach, this lead to her seeing a somewhat spiritual psych to help her really see what she wanted to do/achieve/specialise in etc for her business, to find her ‘purpose’. From there the problems started.

She started becoming bored and dissatisfied. With our life and with me. She withdrew from me physically and emotionally. I was very loving and patient,gave her a lot support for the business, for getting to time to herself, taking time out of work so she could get to networking events and alike.

The result was she went further from me and despite the couples counselling and making time for ourselves, she decided to call it off. I had just finished a call with the bank organising extra cash to buy a house we wanted so it was a bit of a shock. This was in March.
I know it was not another person, there was no drugs, alcohol or abuse issues. No lies or deceit. She just fell out of love and felt life is better without me.

Compared to a loving husband, caring dad, 6 figure salary, that did all the washing, cleaning up, lawns, laundry, ironing for 3 school girls and all the grocery shopping turns out having none of it is better than having to live with me.

Now we live 4 mins drive apart, we helped each other move, helped set up each of our places, have a 40/60 split in time for the kids share all expenses in the kids, share the Spotify account etc, all to impact the kids as little as possible. It is the most amicable/working split as possible.

The rub is I am dead. I have no joy or hope of any sort. No feeling of purpose or reason to do anything or go on in anyway. Medication, psych etc is all in place but it isn’t helping. I got a new job 12 months ago and have already had to have a 2 week break to manage a breakdown (relationship but also massive work stress, doing 14-15 hour days and constantly overwhelmed with workload. In 7 days there was over 1000 emails that were actioned/managed by a group of people, while I was away). The work stress has improved somewhat.

My life has become lonely. My friends are all aware but it seems that I am not worth the effort of a check in call, text or an invite for a drink.

I drive 45-50 mins every day to work and more days than not have been crying and yelling most of the way. Still the game face goes on and the office and my clients know none of what was happening 5 mins earlier.

They don’t know that most nights are 3-4 hours max sleep. That on weekends I don’t get out of bed for 4-5 hours. That on weekdays I spend 40 mins in the shower, most of it lying on the floor crying.

Thing is my friends and family know this. Some of them have copped the crying and sobbing on the way to work and haven’t checked in after. Some have had the calls at night and heard all the misery and check in the next morning, but never again over the next few days or weeks.

Today I decided not to go to work. 2 hours sleep the last 3 nights and 2 midnight calls to lifeline I just couldn’t make it up out of bed again. I have spent all day in my own.

I think it has been prompted by a strong likely hood my wife has found someone, I have overheard her talking to her friend and there is excitement and energy in her voice talking about seeing someone (she didn’t realise I was in the next room). It has reminded me that aside from her I have had no relationships with women and whilst I have tried to meet, turns out the hype around tinder and other apps doesn’t ring true for me (I am 42). Loneliness is my new norm.

TL/DR - life is f’ed, I am over it, I am done
Yep, I agree life is f'ed. Or it can be, depends on luck of the draw.
I think from reading your post, you have been too unselfish, and not expecting much in return. There seems to be a misguided approach in the realms of mental illness, and too much emphasis is placed on psychiatric meds. The reality is that they're only a tool to help you temporarily forget your sorrows. To truly overcome a mental illness, you actually have to reset your mind, so to speak:
- re-evaluate your hopes and dreams
- change your approach on how to deal with the environment
- learn to be more selfish (but obviously not to harm others)

I'm in a stressful time of my life right now too and I'm learning day by day to help others what I can, but at the same time, to be more selfish and in control of what I want to get out of life.
 

Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
5,793
11,867
Hobart
AFL Club
Melbourne
So I think I am at the end, must be if I have finally posted here.

I have battled depression on a couple of occasions in the last 7-8 years. Self esteem/worth issues. Happily married, 3 kids, good job that I was good at and enjoyed, just felt like I was never achieving or providing enough. Expectations were mine, not from my wife or daughters. I got through this with support from my wife, mental health plan and medication. When it happened again I was in a bigger house and earning 25% more and enjoying work even more.

About 2 years ago my wife had a crisis of confidence in her own business and saw a business coach, this lead to her seeing a somewhat spiritual psych to help her really see what she wanted to do/achieve/specialise in etc for her business, to find her ‘purpose’. From there the problems started.

She started becoming bored and dissatisfied. With our life and with me. She withdrew from me physically and emotionally. I was very loving and patient,gave her a lot support for the business, for getting to time to herself, taking time out of work so she could get to networking events and alike.

The result was she went further from me and despite the couples counselling and making time for ourselves, she decided to call it off. I had just finished a call with the bank organising extra cash to buy a house we wanted so it was a bit of a shock. This was in March.
I know it was not another person, there was no drugs, alcohol or abuse issues. No lies or deceit. She just fell out of love and felt life is better without me.

Compared to a loving husband, caring dad, 6 figure salary, that did all the washing, cleaning up, lawns, laundry, ironing for 3 school girls and all the grocery shopping turns out having none of it is better than having to live with me.

Now we live 4 mins drive apart, we helped each other move, helped set up each of our places, have a 40/60 split in time for the kids share all expenses in the kids, share the Spotify account etc, all to impact the kids as little as possible. It is the most amicable/working split as possible.

The rub is I am dead. I have no joy or hope of any sort. No feeling of purpose or reason to do anything or go on in anyway. Medication, psych etc is all in place but it isn’t helping. I got a new job 12 months ago and have already had to have a 2 week break to manage a breakdown (relationship but also massive work stress, doing 14-15 hour days and constantly overwhelmed with workload. In 7 days there was over 1000 emails that were actioned/managed by a group of people, while I was away). The work stress has improved somewhat.

My life has become lonely. My friends are all aware but it seems that I am not worth the effort of a check in call, text or an invite for a drink.

I drive 45-50 mins every day to work and more days than not have been crying and yelling most of the way. Still the game face goes on and the office and my clients know none of what was happening 5 mins earlier.

They don’t know that most nights are 3-4 hours max sleep. That on weekends I don’t get out of bed for 4-5 hours. That on weekdays I spend 40 mins in the shower, most of it lying on the floor crying.

Thing is my friends and family know this. Some of them have copped the crying and sobbing on the way to work and haven’t checked in after. Some have had the calls at night and heard all the misery and check in the next morning, but never again over the next few days or weeks.

Today I decided not to go to work. 2 hours sleep the last 3 nights and 2 midnight calls to lifeline I just couldn’t make it up out of bed again. I have spent all day in my own.

I think it has been prompted by a strong likely hood my wife has found someone, I have overheard her talking to her friend and there is excitement and energy in her voice talking about seeing someone (she didn’t realise I was in the next room). It has reminded me that aside from her I have had no relationships with women and whilst I have tried to meet, turns out the hype around tinder and other apps doesn’t ring true for me (I am 42). Loneliness is my new norm.

TL/DR - life is f’ed, I am over it, I am done
Mate, that's bloody rough. Sorry you are going through this. I think this time is probably telling you that you need a change of direction of some sort. What you are doing now is not fulfilling you. As much as relationship breakups are the worst thing you can go through, people with diversity and purpose in their lives usually survive them ok - albeit with some very rough moments.

I think John Who is on to something - you have been trying to be too many things to too many people, most likely. This comes with its own set of problems because people tend to take that for granted, and then they get lazy and expect you to do everything. They even lose interest because a lot of people just assume that things worth having need to be harder to get. It sounds batcrap crazy, but there is a truth to it. So I agree with John Who that you will need to learn to be more "selfish" to get things back on track. That might mean having a break from work, changing your job. Your ex might make you think you should keep working like a slave for the family so they can enjoy the life they're accustomed to, but you really don't have to do that. You can make choices for yourself. People will adapt. Your daughters won't change their opinion of you. I think this calls for getting involved in some new pursuits that you've always wanted to pursue, but didn't because of the duty cycle you were wedded to. You've probably had psychs tell you this already, but it's really necessary. You'll find somebody else some day - don't stress about that. In the meantime, have a think about how much this job means to you, and whether you could scale things back or do something else. I think being stuck in sameness is as big a problem as anything else - including your separation. It may be what your wife was stuck in too. The only solution is to change something. Step outside of this set of rules you've been living by and fly by the seat of your pants.

But most of all, man. Don't do anything silly. Stay around here and get some support - there are some awesome guys on here that can give you some support and ideas - maybe better than anyone you know in "real life" for the situation you're in. I suspect the people you mentioned are not people who have dealt with huge challenges in their lives, and probably never had big mental health problems/ They probably have no idea what they're doing and so they recoil at the challenge. It's a shame, but it happens. Some people are pretty useless for this sort of thing. Turn to whomever you can to get you through. As hopeless as it seems now, this is a temporary situation. You just have to ride it out until you try a few things that can shift things for you. Stay in the game, your daughters need you. Stick around: this is a safe place.
 

mr bagcroft

Club Legend
May 19, 2017
2,818
3,133
AFL Club
St Kilda
So I think I am at the end, must be if I have finally posted here.

I have battled depression on a couple of occasions in the last 7-8 years. Self esteem/worth issues. Happily married, 3 kids, good job that I was good at and enjoyed, just felt like I was never achieving or providing enough. Expectations were mine, not from my wife or daughters. I got through this with support from my wife, mental health plan and medication. When it happened again I was in a bigger house and earning 25% more and enjoying work even more.

About 2 years ago my wife had a crisis of confidence in her own business and saw a business coach, this lead to her seeing a somewhat spiritual psych to help her really see what she wanted to do/achieve/specialise in etc for her business, to find her ‘purpose’. From there the problems started.

She started becoming bored and dissatisfied. With our life and with me. She withdrew from me physically and emotionally. I was very loving and patient,gave her a lot support for the business, for getting to time to herself, taking time out of work so she could get to networking events and alike.

The result was she went further from me and despite the couples counselling and making time for ourselves, she decided to call it off. I had just finished a call with the bank organising extra cash to buy a house we wanted so it was a bit of a shock. This was in March.
I know it was not another person, there was no drugs, alcohol or abuse issues. No lies or deceit. She just fell out of love and felt life is better without me.

Compared to a loving husband, caring dad, 6 figure salary, that did all the washing, cleaning up, lawns, laundry, ironing for 3 school girls and all the grocery shopping turns out having none of it is better than having to live with me.

Now we live 4 mins drive apart, we helped each other move, helped set up each of our places, have a 40/60 split in time for the kids share all expenses in the kids, share the Spotify account etc, all to impact the kids as little as possible. It is the most amicable/working split as possible.

The rub is I am dead. I have no joy or hope of any sort. No feeling of purpose or reason to do anything or go on in anyway. Medication, psych etc is all in place but it isn’t helping. I got a new job 12 months ago and have already had to have a 2 week break to manage a breakdown (relationship but also massive work stress, doing 14-15 hour days and constantly overwhelmed with workload. In 7 days there was over 1000 emails that were actioned/managed by a group of people, while I was away). The work stress has improved somewhat.

My life has become lonely. My friends are all aware but it seems that I am not worth the effort of a check in call, text or an invite for a drink.

I drive 45-50 mins every day to work and more days than not have been crying and yelling most of the way. Still the game face goes on and the office and my clients know none of what was happening 5 mins earlier.

They don’t know that most nights are 3-4 hours max sleep. That on weekends I don’t get out of bed for 4-5 hours. That on weekdays I spend 40 mins in the shower, most of it lying on the floor crying.

Thing is my friends and family know this. Some of them have copped the crying and sobbing on the way to work and haven’t checked in after. Some have had the calls at night and heard all the misery and check in the next morning, but never again over the next few days or weeks.

Today I decided not to go to work. 2 hours sleep the last 3 nights and 2 midnight calls to lifeline I just couldn’t make it up out of bed again. I have spent all day in my own.

I think it has been prompted by a strong likely hood my wife has found someone, I have overheard her talking to her friend and there is excitement and energy in her voice talking about seeing someone (she didn’t realise I was in the next room). It has reminded me that aside from her I have had no relationships with women and whilst I have tried to meet, turns out the hype around tinder and other apps doesn’t ring true for me (I am 42). Loneliness is my new norm.

TL/DR - life is f’ed, I am over it, I am done
 

mr bagcroft

Club Legend
May 19, 2017
2,818
3,133
AFL Club
St Kilda
Mate I too have had a shocking year after a breakdown of a 23 year relationship that was not my choosing on the 1/1/19. However I have not had it as bad as you have by the sound of it. It puts my own situation into perspective. Have you considered AD's? Im on them , Im not sure they are the answer, Im not even sure they are helping, but I figure I need them for now. Im not telling you whats right for you, just something you may want to talk to your doctor about.
Please please do not do anything rash. I considered it many times, I understand fully. I dont even have kids etc., but the effect on the people that would be left behind stops me. You will get yourself back. Im not there yet and am still at the stage of tending to be self destructive and not giving a flying fu** what happens to me. But for now I find thinking about my family whilst I dont care about myself, keeps me in check somewhat. You have your daughters to provide this for you, until such time you get yourself back.
Stick around here, there is some quality help that can be had, and even reading other peoples stories can assist somewhat at times. Good luck friend!
 

WDWSF

Draftee
Apr 22, 2013
18
9
AFL Club
Adelaide
I think it has been prompted by a strong likely hood my wife has found someone, I have overheard her talking to her friend and there is excitement and energy in her voice talking about seeing someone (she didn’t realise I was in the next room). It has reminded me that aside from her I have had no relationships with women and whilst I have tried to meet, turns out the hype around tinder and other apps doesn’t ring true for me (I am 42). Loneliness is my new norm.

TL/DR - life is f’ed, I am over it, I am done
Hey mate I know this feeling, absolute worthlessness like you've been tossed aside - feeling like yesterday's garbage whilst she's off enjoying a new relationship. In my case she cheated and ended up marrying the guy and i'm left thinking how on earth are people allowed to do that and live happily ever after.

The only way out of the dark is to keep moving forward, that's all you have to do - just keep moving & tomorrow won't feel as bad as today, then the next day will hurt just that little bit less until one day her being with someone else doesn't affect you at all.
 

Shane Heard

Club Legend
Mar 11, 2018
2,096
3,586
AFL Club
Essendon
Personally, I was the one who ended my marriage a few years ago and it was the best thing ever. The feeling of freedom still resonates every day.
But my ex thinks differently about it all and I can understand how folks get really down and depressed after a relationship breakdown that comes as a shock or unexpected.



Some great advice here I looked up for anyone needing help..has additional links that are valuable info.

 

mxett

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 1, 2007
23,978
9,478
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
So I think I am at the end, must be if I have finally posted here.

I have battled depression on a couple of occasions in the last 7-8 years. Self esteem/worth issues. Happily married, 3 kids, good job that I was good at and enjoyed, just felt like I was never achieving or providing enough. Expectations were mine, not from my wife or daughters. I got through this with support from my wife, mental health plan and medication. When it happened again I was in a bigger house and earning 25% more and enjoying work even more.

About 2 years ago my wife had a crisis of confidence in her own business and saw a business coach, this lead to her seeing a somewhat spiritual psych to help her really see what she wanted to do/achieve/specialise in etc for her business, to find her ‘purpose’. From there the problems started.

She started becoming bored and dissatisfied. With our life and with me. She withdrew from me physically and emotionally. I was very loving and patient,gave her a lot support for the business, for getting to time to herself, taking time out of work so she could get to networking events and alike.

The result was she went further from me and despite the couples counselling and making time for ourselves, she decided to call it off. I had just finished a call with the bank organising extra cash to buy a house we wanted so it was a bit of a shock. This was in March.
I know it was not another person, there was no drugs, alcohol or abuse issues. No lies or deceit. She just fell out of love and felt life is better without me.

Compared to a loving husband, caring dad, 6 figure salary, that did all the washing, cleaning up, lawns, laundry, ironing for 3 school girls and all the grocery shopping turns out having none of it is better than having to live with me.

Now we live 4 mins drive apart, we helped each other move, helped set up each of our places, have a 40/60 split in time for the kids share all expenses in the kids, share the Spotify account etc, all to impact the kids as little as possible. It is the most amicable/working split as possible.

The rub is I am dead. I have no joy or hope of any sort. No feeling of purpose or reason to do anything or go on in anyway. Medication, psych etc is all in place but it isn’t helping. I got a new job 12 months ago and have already had to have a 2 week break to manage a breakdown (relationship but also massive work stress, doing 14-15 hour days and constantly overwhelmed with workload. In 7 days there was over 1000 emails that were actioned/managed by a group of people, while I was away). The work stress has improved somewhat.

My life has become lonely. My friends are all aware but it seems that I am not worth the effort of a check in call, text or an invite for a drink.

I drive 45-50 mins every day to work and more days than not have been crying and yelling most of the way. Still the game face goes on and the office and my clients know none of what was happening 5 mins earlier.

They don’t know that most nights are 3-4 hours max sleep. That on weekends I don’t get out of bed for 4-5 hours. That on weekdays I spend 40 mins in the shower, most of it lying on the floor crying.

Thing is my friends and family know this. Some of them have copped the crying and sobbing on the way to work and haven’t checked in after. Some have had the calls at night and heard all the misery and check in the next morning, but never again over the next few days or weeks.

Today I decided not to go to work. 2 hours sleep the last 3 nights and 2 midnight calls to lifeline I just couldn’t make it up out of bed again. I have spent all day in my own.

I think it has been prompted by a strong likely hood my wife has found someone, I have overheard her talking to her friend and there is excitement and energy in her voice talking about seeing someone (she didn’t realise I was in the next room). It has reminded me that aside from her I have had no relationships with women and whilst I have tried to meet, turns out the hype around tinder and other apps doesn’t ring true for me (I am 42). Loneliness is my new norm.

TL/DR - life is f’ed, I am over it, I am done
Hi stepping tiger, I am so sorry you are experiencing such difficulties. I can hear the pain and sorrow in your words and I empathise deeply.

Please know, though, that you will get ongoing support here. Many people on here have had and are still having big challenges, and know what it's like to feel desperate and alone. Together we can encourage each other forward.

Just a few comments on your post:
1. sleep is absolutely crucial and this must be addressed ASAP! From what you've said it appears you are on medication and seeing a psych (I assume a psychologist), but are you seeing a psychiatrist? A psychiatrist should be able to prescribe you something to help you sleep. I was given something and it made a big difference to my ability to cope pretty quickly.

2. your work situation sounds very draining which would could be making it very difficult for you to recover. Have you had a word to your manager about your mental health? Maybe they could give you a day off a week to rest, or even decrease your responsibilities for a while while you regain your strength. It's worth a try. I did this with my work and they were fantastic.

3. ending it all is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your life will change over time, everyone's does. Your future years may turn out to be your happiest, you just dont know.

4. Maybe see if you can find a psychologist who specialises in ACT. This relatively new psychotherapy can help you learn to accept your current situation which can dramatically lessen the pain. Then it can help you find new values in life. For me one of my new values is making others feel great about themselves. I have gone from struggling through work to loving it because I have so many opportunities to encourage and uplift others. These acts boost my mood enormously.

5. There are many great books I could recommend to you. One of my new favourites is this book:
The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living. It is written by the man who gives this ted talk: . He is a legend in my eyes. He explains how our minds are wired to worry and negatively judge. He explains how with effort we can refocus our minds to higher calling which transforms us from the inside out. Well worth a read.

6. Please, please, please update us in here regularly. I really want to know how you are going. We are all here to support each other. You never know, as you recover your journey may help save someone else's life.

All the best and well done for sharing
 
Last edited:

Shane Heard

Club Legend
Mar 11, 2018
2,096
3,586
AFL Club
Essendon
Hi stepping tiger, I am so sorry you are experiencing such difficulties. I can hear the pain and sorrow in your words and I empathise deeply.

Please know, though, that you will get ongoing support here. Many people on here have had and are still having big challenges, and know what it's like to feel desperate and alone. Together we can encourage each other forward.

Just a few comments on your post:
1. sleep is absolutely crucial and this must be addressed ASAP! From what you've said it appears you are on medication and seeing a psych (I assume a psychologist), but are you seeing a psychiatrist? A psychiatrist should be able to prescribe you something to help you sleep. I was given something and it made a big difference to my ability to cope pretty quickly.

2. your work situation sounds very draining which would could be making it very difficult for you to recover. Have you had a word to your manager about your mental health? Maybe they could give you a day off a week to rest, or even decrease your responsibilities for a while while you regain your strength. It's worth a try. I did this with my work and they were fantastic.

3. ending it all is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Your life will change over time, everyone's does. Your future years may turn out to be your happiest, you just dont know.

4. Maybe see if you can find a psychologist who specialises in ACT. This relatively new psychotherapy can help you learn to accept your current situation which can dramatically lessen the pain. Then it can help you find new values in life. For me one of my new values is making others feel great about themselves. I have gone from struggling through work to loving it because I have so many opportunities to encourage and uplift others. These acts boost my mood enormously.

5. There are many great books I could recommend to you. One of my new favourites is this book:
The Mayo Clinic Guide to Stress-Free Living. It is written by the man who gives this ted talk: . He is a legend in my eyes. He explains how our minds are wired to worry and negatively judge. He explains how with effort we can refocus our minds to higher calling which transforms us from the inside out. Well worth a read.

6. Please, please, please update us in here regularly. I really want to know how you are going. We are all here to support each other. You never know, as you recover your journey may help save someone else's life.

All the best and well done for sharing
Yes..the sleep issue is a priority above nearly all others.

Back a couple of years ago when I went through a period of extreme stress and anxiety, you realise after awhile that lack of sleep magnifies everything 100 times.

You have to address it and take steps to ensure that quantity sleep happens.
Because absolutely nothing helpful can be worked out in the mind while suffering from lack of sleep.

If it takes a sleeping pill to do the job then do it. I got a few off a mate and used them on about 5 different occasions which sent me off on a solid 8 hour sleep.

But obviously be mindful that anyone can get into a habit of long term use and that’s something to avoid at all costs.

Talk to a GP first.
 

SteppingTiger

All Australian
Feb 6, 2014
853
1,635
Brisbane
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Hi All, thanks for the messages of support. Been very encouraging.

Good news is that I am still here.! When I last wrote I had an appointment with the GP and medication got increased and sleeping tablets provided. This has helped.

Psychologist appointment that night helped, and I am being referred to a psychiatrist once I see the GP again on Monday.

Long text session with the ex was helpful. I had a few people worried with a FB post earlier in the day. Agreed that it was best if I did go to work to keep occupied.

Next morning didn’t go well and I had a breakdown at work. My staff member provided support and when I spoke to my manager and HR agreed on having the week off. Difficult as I have no annual or sick leave.

Psych is suggesting a inpatient treatment while I have the week off. Confronting, but a week at home doing nothing in my own is not going to go well. I have reached out to a few friends and done my best not to be alone the last few days. Flying solo today though.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

mxett

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 1, 2007
23,978
9,478
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
Hi All, thanks for the messages of support. Been very encouraging.

Good news is that I am still here.! When I last wrote I had an appointment with the GP and medication got increased and sleeping tablets provided. This has helped.

Psychologist appointment that night helped, and I am being referred to a psychiatrist once I see the GP again on Monday.

Long text session with the ex was helpful. I had a few people worried with a FB post earlier in the day. Agreed that it was best if I did go to work to keep occupied.

Next morning didn’t go well and I had a breakdown at work. My staff member provided support and when I spoke to my manager and HR agreed on having the week off. Difficult as I have no annual or sick leave.

Psych is suggesting a inpatient treatment while I have the week off. Confronting, but a week at home doing nothing in my own is not going to go well. I have reached out to a few friends and done my best not to be alone the last few days. Flying solo today though.
thanks for the update. Sounds like you are doing a great job following professional advice. Any chance you could return to work on limited duties to take some pressure off? I saw this ted talk today and thought it was pretty interesting
That's not to say your reasons for depression arent perfectly valid. But the discussion around connecting with others makes a lot of sense, as do many of his other points.

Keep us updated on your progress. All the best
 

SteppingTiger

All Australian
Feb 6, 2014
853
1,635
Brisbane
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Hi All, thanks for the messages of support. Been very encouraging.

Good news is that I am still here.! When I last wrote I had an appointment with the GP and medication got increased and sleeping tablets provided. This has helped.

Psychologist appointment that night helped, and I am being referred to a psychiatrist once I see the GP again on Monday.

Long text session with the ex was helpful. I had a few people worried with a FB post earlier in the day. Agreed that it was best if I did go to work to keep occupied.

Next morning didn’t go well and I had a breakdown at work. My staff member provided support and when I spoke to my manager and HR agreed on having the week off. Difficult as I have no annual or sick leave.

Psych is suggesting a inpatient treatment while I have the week off. Confronting, but a week at home doing nothing in my own is not going to go well. I have reached out to a few friends and done my best not to be alone the last few days. Flying solo today though.
So starting CBT today at the hospital. 2 week program, so two weeks without the kids and without pay.

Whilst very surreal and makes you wonder why you are here (I am in a good frame of mind), actually getting relaxed. Think it is the idea that you know you are doing something and committed to something. It is definitely not the drugs as they haven’t changed anything since I have got here.

Anyhow, thanks again for the messages, and anyone else that is struggling, know that it starts with a step.

I will try to check in over the next couple of weeks. Cheers
 

Top Bottom