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bresker

Premium Platinum
Sep 21, 2005
9,390
12,966
Brunswick East 3057
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Wet Sham, BANGOR FC, Down
I wasnt going to mention names but it was Cataholic. He deserves to be mentioned.
I've never been a religious person, but I work in a Catholic primary school and recently had a deeply religious experience. I can't describe it without going into great detail, but I'm off to Alcoholics Anonymous meeting tonight. I want to live to see my kids grow up, if I keep drinking 2 bottles of whiskey every few days that won't happen. So 'God', the catholic God, has told me to go to AA. So I will.
 

Cotchins Hair Piece

Bouffant Flat Top
Mar 6, 2019
2,248
5,760
AFL Club
Melbourne
I got slapped with a 5 yr family violance order for having a few drinks with mates. I refused to leave my own house and got arrested. No violance no damage apart from her bullshitting to police. Now i cant go anywhere near my kids, even message them until i fight it in court with money i dont have.

All i have is some clothes and my car.

The system is a joke.
Mate that’s so rough, hope you’re holding in there. I’m an ex Detective, I know how easy they are to apply for and get approved. Pm me if you need a chat.
 

Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
6,125
12,807
Hobart
AFL Club
Melbourne
I got slapped with a 5 yr family violance order for having a few drinks with mates. I refused to leave my own house and got arrested. No violance no damage apart from her bullshitting to police. Now i cant go anywhere near my kids, even message them until i fight it in court with money i dont have.

All i have is some clothes and my car.

The system is a joke.
Geez, can it really happen that easily? Why would you be required to leave your own house anyway?
 

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mouncey2franklin

Premiership Player
Jun 16, 2018
4,576
6,555
AFL Club
North Melbourne
I got slapped with a 5 yr family violance order for having a few drinks with mates. I refused to leave my own house and got arrested. No violance no damage apart from her bullshitting to police. Now i cant go anywhere near my kids, even message them until i fight it in court with money i dont have.

All i have is some clothes and my car.

The system is a joke.
All I care about is my girls, I suppose that’s why I’m struggling so much. I just don’t know how you can leave when you have such young kids. I took nine months off work with each kid when she returned to work so the thought of leaving them, even for one night, is killing me. I’m sure it will get easier.
Hang tough boys. sh*t is rough now but it will get better.

And there's people in this thread who've never met you but we're on your side, even if you barrack for Richmond.

The system is against you, that's true, but your close people are for you. Just be good to yourself. It will get better.
 

nobbyiscool

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 11, 2006
13,284
14,810
Democratic People's Republic of Victoria
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Raiders/TasTigers/MV/Iggles
I wouldn't normally every post something so personal online, but I'm at my wits end, and this felt more comfortable than among people I know on facebook.

I've had depression and anxiety forever, it's just become part of what I live with. About 13 months ago I had a traumatic incident that resulted in me quitting and my mental health getting much, much worse. As of about 3 months ago I'm on drugs for bipolar and they aren't working. My GP referred me to Northern Health/Northern Hospital (whatever my area is) for a psychiatrist.

I did not receive a psychiatrist. I received someone who, according to LinkedIn, has 2 years experience as a youth worker (I'm in my mid 30s) - and there's still a 3-month wait just to get an appointment with her.

My GPs only advice from there was to go to an A&E when I'm in crisis and see a psychiatrist at the public hospital. Which is what I did. Where I still didn't speak to a psychiatrist - I spoke to an A&E doctor and a community support worker. The community support worker will make the exact same recommendation to Northern Health as my GP did, but did say I might have more success with another service that she mentioned (specifically for LGBTQI+ people). Get home, researched said place - it doesn't do what the woman at the hospital said.

Meanwhile, my GP won't see me for another week+ to discuss next steps, cos she wants to do the mental health plan.

How f’ed is this? I might literally be dying of bipolar disorder, and:
- my GPs psych referral is fobbed off to a youth worker with a 3 month wait (at a place that sounds like crystals and snake oil to begin with)
- my local hospital wouldn't get me a psychiatrist
- I've been referred to a place that I've already been referred to, and can't/won't help.
- I've been suggested a place for a service that they don't provide.

This has just completely gotten the better of me. No wonder suicide rates are so high. I'm desperate. I've been desperate for a month. And I still can't get help.

I wondered whether anyone here has anyone wisdom they can offer me. Cos short of taking a dozen Seroquil and calling an ambulance, I'm out of ideas.
 

Chief

Elastico Gomez
Dec 1, 1999
89,636
64,555
Brisbane
AFL Club
Carlton
nobbyiscool - I don't have any practical advice but to hang on. You didn't always feel this bad, and you won't always feel this bad. Our brains in the middle of pain find it hard to imagine a time without pain. Afterwards, our brains edit out the pain to some extent.
 

Toump Ass

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 14, 2015
8,375
17,736
TOUMPASSO LAND
AFL Club
Melbourne
I've never been a religious person, but I work in a Catholic primary school...
It's the smartest people I know who have had the most trouble with the booze. My best mate (early 40s) started meetings just before the first lockdown, and I lost my uncle to the bottle a few months ago. I lived with him when it started and I didn't even know he was drinking; he was "high functioning" for a while, held down a great job and then over the course of a year he ended up an incoherent mess. Glad you're seeking help, hope the meeting went well.

My GP referred me to Northern Health/Northern Hospital (whatever my area is) for a psychiatrist.
I don't have bi-polar but I recently had to change psychiatrists and I found out that there's different types of referrals. It sounds like your GP gave you a referral for a specific place, which I think is the most common type of referral, but you can also ask your GP for an "open referral" which you can take anywhere- so if you don't feel like the people your GP has referred you to are helping, you should be able to call your GP and ask for an open referral instead. I did this, and then phoned around until I could find a doctor who wasn't booked in until Christmas. Hope you're hanging in there, I'm sure you'll be feeling better soon.
 

Toump Ass

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 14, 2015
8,375
17,736
TOUMPASSO LAND
AFL Club
Melbourne
Honestly didn't know that. Cheers.
It's written on the Medicare website:

"Referrals don’t need to be made out to a certain specialist or consultant physician. Referrers should let patients choose where to present the referral, this also applies to electronic referrals."

In my experience, no GP has ever offered me a choice or even let me know I had one. But the choice exists and it means that people can (and probably should) research their doctors before going to them.

 

Genghis Tron

3 votes - Jayden Short
Apr 6, 2020
4,299
9,295
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
The Karratha Shazes
It's written on the Medicare website:

"Referrals don’t need to be made out to a certain specialist or consultant physician. Referrers should let patients choose where to present the referral, this also applies to electronic referrals."

In my experience, no GP has ever offered me a choice or even let me know I had one. But the choice exists and it means that people can (and probably should) research their doctors before going to them.

Yeah I've largely avoided medical help due to a feeling of dissatisfaction. (and just stupid thinking)

Will give it another go now that I know that.

Thank you.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
4,500
5,193
AFL Club
Hawthorn
I opened up months ago on here after a loss (just a pet but was the final straw in a sh*t 5 year patch) and have steadily gotten worse since. I've been crying out for help from my highly recommended doctor (useless, everything is in the too hard basket) but thankfully, my partner and kids don't want to just brush it all aside and pretend I'll get better like that incompetent doctor.

Anyway, I've applied for a stint in rehab totally off my own back without any help to hopefully get over my recent alcohol dependence to just get by. But... As seems to be the usual way in which all these things go, it's been an absolute joke, with nobody ever returning calls or following up on these very simple tasks they assure me they will. Most of these issues are with so called professionals in the field just not giving 2 shits about what they constantly promise.

I can totally understand why many people just give up trying at all with such incompetent support out there and basically no real help. Its just a simple paying bloody job to most of these so called professionals living their happy lives without a care in the world.
does your workplace have an EAP agreement in place? At a former workplace I worked at, you could use the companies counselling service, which was both free and confidential
 

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bresker

Premium Platinum
Sep 21, 2005
9,390
12,966
Brunswick East 3057
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Wet Sham, BANGOR FC, Down
I wouldn't normally every post something so personal online, but I'm at my wits end, and this felt more comfortable than among people I know on facebook.

I've had depression and anxiety forever, it's just become part of what I live with. About 13 months ago I had a traumatic incident that resulted in me quitting and my mental health getting much, much worse. As of about 3 months ago I'm on drugs for bipolar and they aren't working. My GP referred me to Northern Health/Northern Hospital (whatever my area is) for a psychiatrist.

I did not receive a psychiatrist. I received someone who, according to LinkedIn, has 2 years experience as a youth worker (I'm in my mid 30s) - and there's still a 3-month wait just to get an appointment with her.

My GPs only advice from there was to go to an A&E when I'm in crisis and see a psychiatrist at the public hospital. Which is what I did. Where I still didn't speak to a psychiatrist - I spoke to an A&E doctor and a community support worker. The community support worker will make the exact same recommendation to Northern Health as my GP did, but did say I might have more success with another service that she mentioned (specifically for LGBTQI+ people). Get home, researched said place - it doesn't do what the woman at the hospital said.

Meanwhile, my GP won't see me for another week+ to discuss next steps, cos she wants to do the mental health plan.

How f’ed is this? I might literally be dying of bipolar disorder, and:
- my GPs psych referral is fobbed off to a youth worker with a 3 month wait (at a place that sounds like crystals and snake oil to begin with)
- my local hospital wouldn't get me a psychiatrist
- I've been referred to a place that I've already been referred to, and can't/won't help.
- I've been suggested a place for a service that they don't provide.

This has just completely gotten the better of me. No wonder suicide rates are so high. I'm desperate. I've been desperate for a month. And I still can't get help.

I wondered whether anyone here has anyone wisdom they can offer me. Cos short of taking a dozen Seroquil and calling an ambulance, I'm out of ideas.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar and they me sent to the psych unit there at Epping for two weeks. They sectioned me. It wasn't that bad. Just tell them you're going to kill yourself, head to A & E and they give you a bed.

But like you, I suffered a trauma incident. And I had massive drug withdrawls. They don't listen. They don't want to talk about your life situation, they just want to give you drugs and get rid of you.

https://play.acast.com/s/blindboy/dr.patbracken Listen to this it will explain what's happening.

A very intelligent friend of mine, like super smart, recommended this. https://melbournecounsellingcentre.com.au/counselling-services/the-richards-trauma-process-trtp/ So I'm going to try it.

PM me if you need any more advice. The psychiatric industry is full of frauds.
 

skipper kelly

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 29, 2003
29,183
4,879
far queue
AFL Club
Sydney
Other Teams
NSW Blues
Yeah I've largely avoided medical help due to a feeling of dissatisfaction. (and just stupid thinking)

Will give it another go now that I know that.

Thank you.
Don't be afraid to Doctor shop. I mean we shop for everything else in our lives but are hesitant with doctors. A good doctor will discuss your health plan with you and ask you about preferences for referrals etc. Finding the right doctor (GP) is part of the battle. Good doctors usually know good specialists. Good doctors listen and don't want to push you out the door. Good doctors make you feel comfortable and not stupid. A good doctor will become your health coach. A good doctor will give you your game plan and help you execute it.

It can be deflating and often devastating after seeing a doctor that doesn't give a crap, but get back on the horse and go and see another one. Never give up, it is your health not theirs.
 

Genghis Tron

3 votes - Jayden Short
Apr 6, 2020
4,299
9,295
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
The Karratha Shazes
Don't be afraid to Doctor shop. I mean we shop for everything else in our lives but are hesitant with doctors. A good doctor will discuss your health plan with you and ask you about preferences for referrals etc. Finding the right doctor (GP) is part of the battle. Good doctors usually know good specialists. Good doctors listen and don't want to push you out the door. Good doctors make you feel comfortable and not stupid. A good doctor will become your health coach. A good doctor will give you your game plan and help you execute it.

It can be deflating and often devastating after seeing a doctor that doesn't give a crap, but get back on the horse and go and see another one. Never give up, it is your health not theirs.
Great advice. I probably need to give it another go, and persist with the same doctor once I've found one I like.
 

Aeglos

Premiership Player
Sep 27, 2016
3,488
2,654
Croydon station
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Riverpigs
I've been diagnosed with bipolar and they me sent to the psych unit there at Epping for two weeks. They sectioned me. It wasn't that bad. Just tell them you're going to kill yourself, head to A & E and they give you a bed.

But like you, I suffered a trauma incident. And I had massive drug withdrawls. They don't listen. They don't want to talk about your life situation, they just want to give you drugs and get rid of you.

https://play.acast.com/s/blindboy/dr.patbracken Listen to this it will explain what's happening.

A very intelligent friend of mine, like super smart, recommended this. https://melbournecounsellingcentre.com.au/counselling-services/the-richards-trauma-process-trtp/ So I'm going to try it.

PM me if you need any more advice. The psychiatric industry is full of frauds.
Resources and funding (or lack of) is the major drawback of presenting to public hospitals.
They need to get people out so they have free beds for those coming in. It's the same in every hospital/department. Once you're medically safe to discharge you'll be discharged.
That being said, they should definitely be referring you to outpatient/private when they discharge you.
 

Nugett

Premiership Player
Apr 2, 2017
4,500
5,193
AFL Club
Hawthorn
My partner and I broke up on Sunday, at the moment I’m a bit flat, have experienced a range of emotions from anger, sadness, relief ect.

our breakdown was based on trust issues. I’d get home from work and was being accused of not actually working but screwing around. Quite often she would question everything. The biggest red flag I had was a week prior, where my wallet got put through the washing machine, I said it’s no big deal, I’ve done it before ect. As I was about to put it down, I felt a couple of condoms in there, pulled them out in front of her, and said that I don’t need these anymore. Mainly because they were out of date! She then accused me of placing them there 2 weeks prior as cards fell out and she knew they were not there then. No matter how hard I tried to tell her that putting out of date condoms in my wallet doesn’t make any sense and they have been there for a while, she would not listen. Then on Sunday I have my suspicions that she went through my phone and went through my past messages, where she found a message from someone that I was sleeping with before we met. Now I did make a mistake, I admit it and own it. I took my partner to an event where I knew the other person was attending, without telling her. In hindsight I should have given her the option of attending by telling her that someone is there who I have previously slept with, if you want to go that’s fine as sexually she is my past and not present or future, we are friends in Facebook but that is the extent of our friendship. Anyway back on track, that was the final breaking point. Now she didn’t tell me that she got into my messages as she tried to tell me that someone else had messaged her. But I’m very certain that is what she did, because when I went into my phone messages later, there were a lot of searches made, that I wasn’t searching for, which is why I was fairly certain as to why she could recite the message basically word for word and she wouldn’t tell me who the person was, and for my own mental health not to chase it through.

Now throughout our relationship she would quite often talk about a male friend of hers, that she would quite often talk about. I suspected at some point that they had a sexual history, but I’m the present and it’s in the past so I choose to ignore it. On the day we broke up she admitted that she did have a sexual relationship with him and he’s 15 years younger and she’s not like that. Before telling me that she would never allow me to meet him because of that.
That automatically brought up red flags for me, because why I have no issue of their past sexual history, it becomes an issue if it’s in the present. By not wanting me to meet him, suggests that she is/was hiding something from me, that she didn’t want me to know. Which makes me question wether all the accusations of me cheating and being unfaithful, was a transference of guilt?

we are currently living together, but I’m searching for a place, as I just don’t want to be there, and I don’t trust what she will do.
so at the moment my plane is getting out, then I’m looking at beyond blue, where you can get 6 free coaching sessions, so that I can start to heal and come to terms with my mistakes and learning to forgive for my assumption of her betrayal of trust.

sorry for the novel guys, I just can’t bottle sh*t up anymore
 

Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
6,125
12,807
Hobart
AFL Club
Melbourne
My partner and I broke up on Sunday, at the moment I’m a bit flat, have experienced a range of emotions from anger, sadness, relief ect.

our breakdown was based on trust issues. I’d get home from work and was being accused of not actually working but screwing around. Quite often she would question everything. The biggest red flag I had was a week prior, where my wallet got put through the washing machine, I said it’s no big deal, I’ve done it before ect. As I was about to put it down, I felt a couple of condoms in there, pulled them out in front of her, and said that I don’t need these anymore. Mainly because they were out of date! She then accused me of placing them there 2 weeks prior as cards fell out and she knew they were not there then. No matter how hard I tried to tell her that putting out of date condoms in my wallet doesn’t make any sense and they have been there for a while, she would not listen. Then on Sunday I have my suspicions that she went through my phone and went through my past messages, where she found a message from someone that I was sleeping with before we met. Now I did make a mistake, I admit it and own it. I took my partner to an event where I knew the other person was attending, without telling her. In hindsight I should have given her the option of attending by telling her that someone is there who I have previously slept with, if you want to go that’s fine as sexually she is my past and not present or future, we are friends in Facebook but that is the extent of our friendship. Anyway back on track, that was the final breaking point. Now she didn’t tell me that she got into my messages as she tried to tell me that someone else had messaged her. But I’m very certain that is what she did, because when I went into my phone messages later, there were a lot of searches made, that I wasn’t searching for, which is why I was fairly certain as to why she could recite the message basically word for word and she wouldn’t tell me who the person was, and for my own mental health not to chase it through.

Now throughout our relationship she would quite often talk about a male friend of hers, that she would quite often talk about. I suspected at some point that they had a sexual history, but I’m the present and it’s in the past so I choose to ignore it. On the day we broke up she admitted that she did have a sexual relationship with him and he’s 15 years younger and she’s not like that. Before telling me that she would never allow me to meet him because of that.
That automatically brought up red flags for me, because why I have no issue of their past sexual history, it becomes an issue if it’s in the present. By not wanting me to meet him, suggests that she is/was hiding something from me, that she didn’t want me to know. Which makes me question wether all the accusations of me cheating and being unfaithful, was a transference of guilt?

we are currently living together, but I’m searching for a place, as I just don’t want to be there, and I don’t trust what she will do.
so at the moment my plane is getting out, then I’m looking at beyond blue, where you can get 6 free coaching sessions, so that I can start to heal and come to terms with my mistakes and learning to forgive for my assumption of her betrayal of trust.

sorry for the novel guys, I just can’t bottle sh*t up anymore
Good for you, mate. Once there's no trust, there's no future. I do think she sees the worst because she has a secretive nature herself. Tranferance of guilt is quite possible, although it could also just be crippling self-doubt and associated paranoia. In any case, she's not working through these issues, and she's not letting you in on how to solve them. She's just escalating the problems, and calling you a liar. You can't do much with that. I hope you will feel relieved soon, once the grief of the breakup subsides a little. It's always hard, even when you know it needs to happen. But I think you are a straight up guy, and it not good for you have to hear your honesty and character being questioned all the time. That's no way to live. Just the fact that she had a relationship with somebody 15 years younger speaks to a certain adolescent level of maturity - which doesn't work if you're an adult and wanting things to make sense and be stable. Good luck with finding a new place and making a new start. Keep us posted!
 

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