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Sep 13, 2019
55
248
AFL Club
Geelong
Has anyone else found themselves where they can't look away from what's going on in the world, whilst also knowing it gives them an undeniably high amount of anxiety?

The protests in Melbourne yesterday and today have really thrown me.

Not entirely sure what to do.

Yes 100%. There is no escape from it invading almost every waking thought. And then it's hard to sleep. With you mate.
Just get through the day somehow.
 

dopefish

Senior List
Aug 16, 2020
157
204
AFL Club
West Coast
Has anyone else found themselves where they can't look away from what's going on in the world, whilst also knowing it gives them an undeniably high amount of anxiety?

The protests in Melbourne yesterday and today have really thrown me.

Not entirely sure what to do.
Yes 100%. There is no escape from it invading almost every waking thought. And then it's hard to sleep. With you mate.
Just get through the day somehow.
I find reading the news instead of watching it can reduce its psychological impact while staying informed, especially if you find it hard to stop watching live news feeds. Just be sure to avoid any comments sections as they are full of unempathetic people with toxic opinions. Also limiting your news consumption to just once a day can help too.
 

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Cubs2Lions

Club Legend
Jan 12, 2021
2,609
5,551
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I stood on a bridge today and contemplated jumping off it and how I’d have to land to make sure it works. I loathe the person I’ve become and the black cloud that makes it impossible for me to enjoy anything anymore.
Nooooooo friend, please don't ever consider doing that to yourself mate again because you would never forgive yourself for the pain you'll leave behind for your loved ones and how much life you might miss out as a result from one bad decision :'(

I know you might feel like darkness & utter s**t right now in your life and I know it's easier said then done, but you are so very worth it in this world, we call Planet Earth, no matter how much darkness your life might be in at the moment. I know we haven't chatted before and you probably have never knew I existed before and all that, but my thoughts & prayers go out with you tonight in your personal struggles and I'm so sorry you are suffering at the moment with those dark thoughts because I bet you are such an awesome person to chat with and follow the footy and life.

Do you currently see a psychologist atm to help explain your feelings to with someone or take any anti-depressants that might help you feel better about yourself? Maybe if you haven't done both of them, I strongly recommended you see your local GP and develop a mental health plan for you to help yourself feel better mentally cause you seem like such an awesome person who is struggling with some inner-demons atm and look, we have all been down that long road in our lives so everything will be okay one day, I promise. As well as that, possibly exercising every day and eating moe healthy sources constantly could help you feel more positive/happier about yourself daily cause it does make a difference (from personal experiences).

Promise me mate, if you ever feeling like that again though mate, please don't hesitant in calling either Beyond Blue, Black Dog Institute & Lifeline (websites below) to speak with someone professional that can help you with those problems, or if you need to chat with someone on here who loves footy and can support you through your difficult times, I and everyone else on this forum are always here to have a good ole chat about the footy or anything else associated with life, via public or private chat, cause you seem like such a cool & awesome person to chat and hangout with and have a laugh or two :)




Remember though mate, I and everyone else on this BigFooty forum are always here to help you through your difficult times and YOU are so bloody worth it in this world and everyone around you that you are close to loves you so much for the person you are, I promise you that now :thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:
 

Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
6,622
13,990
Hobart
AFL Club
Melbourne
I stood on a bridge today and contemplated jumping off it and how I’d have to land to make sure it works. I loathe the person I’ve become and the black cloud that makes it impossible for me to enjoy anything anymore.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have to keep in mind that there is a way past any problem if you set your mind to it. Ending it all is a way of avoiding the painful wait for the solution. But there is always a way through. You have to build on what you have that does work, and put in place things that work with that. Get off the treadmill of fighting against things that don't work. If you are honest with yourself, you'll find a fair bit of repetition and sameness in your routine and thinking, which is why it feels so stuck. You have to be willing to let go of those things that make you feel bad. Allow new things to come into your life, or at least let old things go. If you do that, there will be room for something different. You must seek support though - and it's great that you reached out here. The more support you have, the less vulnerable you are on those really bad days. If you can get your life trending upwards, even in small amounts, it becomes habit forming, and it builds momentum. Make sure you are getting exercise everyday and eating well. It's amazing how critical those two things are to well-being. And as Cubs2Lions said, make sure you have some professional avenues for support too. You're worth it, mate. Don't forget that. There are people who would feel your loss immensely. If you're struggling to do it for yourself, do it for them until you feel a bit better and want to do it for yourself. Keep in touch here too. We don't want you feeling this way on your own.
 

Cubs2Lions

Club Legend
Jan 12, 2021
2,609
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Adelaide
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Thank you guys. It was only the scars that it would leave on my kids and the people who still care about me that stopped me going further
No worries mate, glad you are still with us at this current time and hopefully one day the dark thoughts inside of you can go away.

Remember, you are so much worth it in this world from everyone you are close with (family, kids, friends, colleagues, etc) and that all of us on this forum really care about you and are always here to have a chat with about footy and anything-related to life, via public & private chat. :)
 

PhatBoy

Hall of Famer
May 5, 2016
36,720
40,857
AFL Club
Geelong
No worries mate, glad you are still with us at this current time and hopefully one day the dark thoughts inside of you can go away.

Remember, you are so much worth it in this world from everyone you are close with (family, kids, friends, colleagues, etc) and that all of us on this forum really care about you and are always here to have a chat with about footy and anything-related to life, via public & private chat. :)


Thanks heaps mate your comments really mean a lot and I’m very glad I read them
 

crazywildhorse

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 9, 2008
10,396
14,335
The Netherlands
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Baggy Green
Thanks heaps mate your comments really mean a lot and I’m very glad I read them
The thought that you had those terrible ideas come to mind saddens me and I only know you as Geelong flog from the bay. Even with your random comments around here, you are contributing to give a few people a bit of what they need. Peace to you.
 

Achin joints

Debutant
Jun 21, 2018
119
375
AFL Club
Fremantle
Anyone else out there ever dealt with a toxic sibling?any advice or tips on how to deal with it ,I have tried several times to cut this person out of my life but they keep coming back and causing me severe mental anguish ,next step is a restraining order .Are they worth it? Any advice would really appreciated
 

dopefish

Senior List
Aug 16, 2020
157
204
AFL Club
West Coast
Are you able to ignore them? Not answer their calls, not answer the door to them, block them from your social media, avoid going places where you're likely to bump into them? One of my sisters has, in the past few months, suddenly turned into a full-blown anti-vaxxer and conspiracy theory believer and I've simply suggested to other family members that it's best just to ignore her crazy s**t.
 

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Ando727

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 12, 2009
6,622
13,990
Hobart
AFL Club
Melbourne
Anyone else out there ever dealt with a toxic sibling?any advice or tips on how to deal with it ,I have tried several times to cut this person out of my life but they keep coming back and causing me severe mental anguish ,next step is a restraining order .Are they worth it? Any advice would really appreciated
I guess it would depend on what you've tried so far. How direct have you been about it? Have you looked them right in the eye and said where your boundaries are? And what the consequences will be if they cross them again? Or have you tried to be less confrontational about it? One thing that seems certain is that whatever you've tried so far hasn't been successful, so you're going to have to try something new. Maybe it does rise to the level of restraining order if you've already been very firm with them. But I tend to think that if you've tried to do it gently, you will have to be much more firm this time. If you can give us more details I'm sure we could give some useful suggestions. I have experienced this myself.
 

Achin joints

Debutant
Jun 21, 2018
119
375
AFL Club
Fremantle
I guess it would depend on what you've tried so far. How direct have you been about it? Have you looked them right in the eye and said where your boundaries are? And what the consequences will be if they cross them again? Or have you tried to be less confrontational about it? One thing that seems certain is that whatever you've tried so far hasn't been successful, so you're going to have to try something new. Maybe it does rise to the level of restraining order if you've already been very firm with them. But I tend to think that if you've tried to do it gently, you will have to be much more firm this time. If you can give us more details I'm sure we could give some useful suggestions. I have experienced this myself.
Thanks for your response ,i told her that I don't want her in my life The abuse ramped up after that ,I've changed my number so that's the end of that for now .The letters will start arriving soon no doubt .The old man has already cut her out of his life ,she's always crapping on about wills and money and family s**t from decades ago. I'm tired of all the negative thoughts and feeling constantly attacked ,her daughter moved to the other side of the country to escape her s**t .She sees nothing wrong with her behaviour and blames everybody else ,any tips on strategies to deal with this s**t or to stop the monkey chatter in my head?
 

dopefish

Senior List
Aug 16, 2020
157
204
AFL Club
West Coast
any tips on strategies to deal with this sh*t or to stop the monkey chatter in my head?
Counselling can help. It doesn't have to be more than a couple of sessions. Therapists can help you see things in a different perspective and can give some practical advice on what to do.
 

The_Wookie

Queenslander
Jul 2, 2010
36,462
34,256
Adelaide
AFL Club
Carlton
Merry Christmas to everyone here!

Big Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread again.

Look after yourselves and remember to call or message someone if you need help! Im here all weekend if you just want to chat, and we have plenty of resources in the OP if you want someone to chat to.

side note: six years for a sticky thread has to be some sort of record.
 

John Who

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 16, 2017
8,081
6,239
AFL Club
Adelaide
Merry Christmas guys! I know there is often a paradox where mental health may possibly worsen during Christmas time. Just know there are plenty out there with mental suffering and there will be someone who can lend us a hand/ear of support.

Take care of yourselves ya bunch of crazies! (I say it in an affectionate tone)

low_Right Mask XMAS_cover.jpg
 

catscollector

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 30, 2018
6,147
7,771
AFL Club
Geelong
Thank you guys. It was only the scars that it would leave on my kids and the people who still care about me that stopped me going further

I just wanted to tell you are not alone mate.
I certainly understand what you are feeling.

I think you may not have full understanding of it right now (or maybe you do) but in time, your children are going to make your world such a much better place to live in. It won't stop either as they likely have kids of their own which further enriches your life.
 

catscollector

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 30, 2018
6,147
7,771
AFL Club
Geelong
I've got no-one to talk to about my wife's alcoholism.

She ignores it, says she's "piss-fit" like it's a joke... drinks at least a bottle of wine every single night, in front of our kids who are both under 12. Usually a bottle and a half. Some times 2.

She wakes up everyday saying she's sick and didn't sleep well... It's obvious it's a hangover from getting drunk every single day for two years, but she says she doesn't get hangovers.

I am working so hard on trying to find positive things in my life, and I feel like I'm making progress, but the sign of her on her phone getting pissed every night makes me so anxious and depressed.

I can't talk to her about, because it just causes a fight.

I'm so lost and depressed.

I do exercise, meditation, mindfulness, and try to practice detachment but geeez it's a struggle to stay positive and move forward.

My dad was an alcoholic. Her dad is an alcoholic who she doesn't talk to any more. She used to say she made sure she talked to him before 5 pm because otherwise he was drunk.

Now I'm in the same position.

I hate how Australia's drinking culture makes alcohol all pervasive. It's so hidden the damage it does.

Anyways, that is all

Thank you :)


My sister is an alcoholic. She is 34 years of age and already having seizures.
I think it will not be long before internal complications occur. End-stage alcoholism.

Have seen firsthand the shocking consequences of what it does to people. I sometimes feel sorry for my father. He knows she does not have a long lifespan ahead of her (already lost his eldest son to suicide).
There is nothing anyone can do now.
Years of rehab, psychiatry and other alternatives make little difference.
She is a mother of two kids to two different fathers and even her kids wish she was dead. They hate her that much after years of neglect and the emotional trauma she brought on them.

It's a very big problem around the world. Unfortunately, and I just don't know how to put this mildly . . . when a person has lost their will to live, and they would rather drink themselves to death, there is nothing to do but hope people like this go quickly (which is rarely the case with alcoholism).

Often, when it comes to addiction, there are multiple underlying mental disorders at play. Has your wife seen a medical expert and tried counseling?
If she is drinking 1-2 bottles a day and is still feeling sick the very next morning, as bad as it sounds, she may not yet be a critical stage in her alcoholism addiction.

Really hope this new year can bring a change for you both.
 
Sep 13, 2019
55
248
AFL Club
Geelong
My sister is an alcoholic. She is 34 years of age and already having seizures.
I think it will not be long before internal complications occur. End-stage alcoholism.

Have seen firsthand the shocking consequences of what it does to people. I sometimes feel sorry for my father. He knows she does not have a long lifespan ahead of her (already lost his eldest son to suicide).
There is nothing anyone can do now.
Years of rehab, psychiatry and other alternatives make little difference.
She is a mother of two kids to two different fathers and even her kids wish she was dead. They hate her that much after years of neglect and the emotional trauma she brought on them.

It's a very big problem around the world. Unfortunately, and I just don't know how to put this mildly . . . when a person has lost their will to live, and they would rather drink themselves to death, there is nothing to do but hope people like this go quickly (which is rarely the case with alcoholism).

Often, when it comes to addiction, there are multiple underlying mental disorders at play. Has your wife seen a medical expert and tried counseling?
If she is drinking 1-2 bottles a day and is still feeling sick the very next morning, as bad as it sounds, she may not yet be a critical stage in her alcoholism addiction.

Really hope this new year can bring a change for you both.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister. Alcohol sure does take a tight grip.
I just have to accept nothing will ever change. That way I won't feel letdown, and anything positive will be a bonus.
I remind myself she has a disease, but I still find it distressing when her telltale glassy eyes appear mid afternoon. The forced smile, the unsteady walk, it all triggers me something shocking after being raised by an alcoholic father. I just hate it. I used to enjoy a drink with the best of them, but now one drink is enough to put me into a depressing tail spin. Me not drinking only magnifies her daily drinking. I worry what our kids are learning. She's said in front of them that drinking is legal so it shouldn't be a problem. But drinking every single day in front of them has got to be setting a bad example. I read the recommended alcohol intake per week is around 10 drinks a week. She does that every single day! Anyways, acceptance that I can't change anything is what I strive for everyday.
Thankyou for the support ❤️
 

Rodney Dangerfield

Doesn’t matter
Mar 28, 2005
40,879
96,103
Melbourne
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Richmond
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Liverpool,Bournemouth
I think that all the time.
Depression just makes you your own worst enemy,its the worst feeling.
I can't even watch any movies anymore,I feel dead inside like a book has closed.
I feel ugly,dumb and hopeless.
God only loves the smart and confident people unfortunately.

I have lost love of things.
I want to jump,only the fear of pain is stopping me.
Hope you’re getting some help mate.
 

smasha

🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅🐅
Sep 7, 2003
50,862
62,690
Richmond Paddock
AFL Club
Richmond
Starting to think about AFL if it is a business or do the players really give a s**t about their supporters.
I'm betting they don't.
 

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