I’m so sorry to hear this mate
I’ve been on this thread a few times over the journey and it does help to come here
I came on tonight coz I’m not doing so well either, just really emotional the last couple of days
Just a bad spot at the moment
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I’ve been on this thread a few times over the journey and it does help to come here
I came on tonight coz I’m not doing so well either, just really emotional the last couple of days
Just a bad spot at the moment
Shane Heard
Brownlow Medallist
- Mar 11, 2018
- 10,261
- 17,255
- AFL Club
- Essendon
“ What is self esteem? It is the ability to view ourselves as flawed individuals and still hold ourselves in high regard. It’s anything but perfection. So welcome your flaws people.”
Esther Perel
Esther Perel
I want to add to the above quote. From my time on earth, I don't see life as beautiful but more this:
life is a journey, encompassing the good, the bad, the ugly, the s**t, and the beautiful. There is no structure to which order it goes in, and there is no rule in which it has to lead with every twists and turns being different for every individual.
From the above, you can predict some will have it better than others. Most will have a good mix of the good and the bad. Others, and likely the participants of this thread, are likely to have more the s**t than the good.
I guess when there are bad/s**t times, hopefully we can somehow work a way through to reach to the next stage of the "good". I believe the key is to understand that the s**t happens very frequently in life, and there is no real magic pill to escape the wrath of our destiny. Acceptance of our life path, and seeking the right counseling and environment is probably more important than any psychiatric meds.
Hey guys great thread just thought I would share my story.
Basically always been an anxious person even from quite a young age I just wouldn't want to leave the house or my hometown to go anywhere, but over the last 3-4 years I've begun to feel more and more down about myself and life in general. It began with feeling really bad about myself for doing even little things wrong and worked its way up to suicidal thoughts and even planning how I would do it...
Beyond Blue was a massive saviour for me their resources guided me through how to take the steps to get professional help and how to talk to my wife about what I was going through, luckily for me my wife is a nurse so I felt like I could talk to her (when I was finally ready to) and she at least would not be totally unable to cope with what I was saying and we could begin to work through it together.
When I got help I was formally diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety (and PTSD from some abuse I received as a child which we think is the main catalyst for the depression developing) my anxiety rate as very extreme on the scale and depression sits just below that at extreme. For my anxiety it normally is worst in terms of social situations as I try and predict how every conversation in my life is going to go so I can be ready to respond to what the other person is going to say with something that doesn't make me look silly. Even ordering a coffee is a highly stressful thing for me to do. My depression has its peaks and its troughs but basically I never felt like I did anything well at all, that can range from how I perform at work that to how well I take the trash out to the bin that night, I would beat myself up about everything.
I am now getting professional help and working through the problems week by week but the best thing I ever did was talk about it to other people as it just got that load off my chest and I felt like I could breathe again.
Because of the way Beyond Blue helped me in my time of need I am looking to give back by raising much needed funds and awareness for them by running from the MCG to Adelaide (726km) in 13 days this June. Going to be a massive undertaking but I've got a good team behind me just like when I am fighting the depression and anxiety.
If you want to donate the link is:
https://individual-fundraiser-ongoi...yond-the-border-for-beyondblue?utm_source=EDH
Or to follow the progress of what's happening here is the facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/beyondtheborder2019
Cheers guys!
Basically always been an anxious person even from quite a young age I just wouldn't want to leave the house or my hometown to go anywhere, but over the last 3-4 years I've begun to feel more and more down about myself and life in general. It began with feeling really bad about myself for doing even little things wrong and worked its way up to suicidal thoughts and even planning how I would do it...
Beyond Blue was a massive saviour for me their resources guided me through how to take the steps to get professional help and how to talk to my wife about what I was going through, luckily for me my wife is a nurse so I felt like I could talk to her (when I was finally ready to) and she at least would not be totally unable to cope with what I was saying and we could begin to work through it together.
When I got help I was formally diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety (and PTSD from some abuse I received as a child which we think is the main catalyst for the depression developing) my anxiety rate as very extreme on the scale and depression sits just below that at extreme. For my anxiety it normally is worst in terms of social situations as I try and predict how every conversation in my life is going to go so I can be ready to respond to what the other person is going to say with something that doesn't make me look silly. Even ordering a coffee is a highly stressful thing for me to do. My depression has its peaks and its troughs but basically I never felt like I did anything well at all, that can range from how I perform at work that to how well I take the trash out to the bin that night, I would beat myself up about everything.
I am now getting professional help and working through the problems week by week but the best thing I ever did was talk about it to other people as it just got that load off my chest and I felt like I could breathe again.
Because of the way Beyond Blue helped me in my time of need I am looking to give back by raising much needed funds and awareness for them by running from the MCG to Adelaide (726km) in 13 days this June. Going to be a massive undertaking but I've got a good team behind me just like when I am fighting the depression and anxiety.
If you want to donate the link is:
https://individual-fundraiser-ongoi...yond-the-border-for-beyondblue?utm_source=EDH
Or to follow the progress of what's happening here is the facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/beyondtheborder2019
Cheers guys!
Hey guys great thread just thought I would share my story.
Basically always been an anxious person even from quite a young age I just wouldn't want to leave the house or my hometown to go anywhere, but over the last 3-4 years I've begun to feel more and more down about myself and life in general. It began with feeling really bad about myself for doing even little things wrong and worked its way up to suicidal thoughts and even planning how I would do it...
Beyond Blue was a massive saviour for me their resources guided me through how to take the steps to get professional help and how to talk to my wife about what I was going through, luckily for me my wife is a nurse so I felt like I could talk to her (when I was finally ready to) and she at least would not be totally unable to cope with what I was saying and we could begin to work through it together.
When I got help I was formally diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety (and PTSD from some abuse I received as a child which we think is the main catalyst for the depression developing) my anxiety rate as very extreme on the scale and depression sits just below that at extreme. For my anxiety it normally is worst in terms of social situations as I try and predict how every conversation in my life is going to go so I can be ready to respond to what the other person is going to say with something that doesn't make me look silly. Even ordering a coffee is a highly stressful thing for me to do. My depression has its peaks and its troughs but basically I never felt like I did anything well at all, that can range from how I perform at work that to how well I take the trash out to the bin that night, I would beat myself up about everything.
I am now getting professional help and working through the problems week by week but the best thing I ever did was talk about it to other people as it just got that load off my chest and I felt like I could breathe again.
Because of the way Beyond Blue helped me in my time of need I am looking to give back by raising much needed funds and awareness for them by running from the MCG to Adelaide (726km) in 13 days this June. Going to be a massive undertaking but I've got a good team behind me just like when I am fighting the depression and anxiety.
If you want to donate the link is:
https://individual-fundraiser-ongoi...yond-the-border-for-beyondblue?utm_source=EDH
Or to follow the progress of what's happening here is the facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/beyondtheborder2019
Cheers guys!
Welcome. Most of us in here can understand your past struggles with depression and anxiety. Best of luck with the run. Hope to see you in here more often. It’s also great that you seem to have a great supporting wife to help you as well.
Best of luck
It’s a sad loss. Sometimes it’s the people you don’t suspect, that are suffering. Robin Williams was another tragic suicide that you wouldn’t suspect. It’s hard to know why they do it, because on the outside they appear to be bright, bubbly and full of light. It’s also the questions that they leave behind which is what makes it so difficult to comprehend. If they shared more of what they were feeling with family and loved ones would they still be alive?
Sadness is understandable in these situations, as is confusion, as to why they were so desperate to escape from their lives.
Shane Heard
Brownlow Medallist
- Mar 11, 2018
- 10,261
- 17,255
- AFL Club
- Essendon
Hey guys great thread just thought I would share my story.
Basically always been an anxious person even from quite a young age I just wouldn't want to leave the house or my hometown to go anywhere, but over the last 3-4 years I've begun to feel more and more down about myself and life in general. It began with feeling really bad about myself for doing even little things wrong and worked its way up to suicidal thoughts and even planning how I would do it...
Beyond Blue was a massive saviour for me their resources guided me through how to take the steps to get professional help and how to talk to my wife about what I was going through, luckily for me my wife is a nurse so I felt like I could talk to her (when I was finally ready to) and she at least would not be totally unable to cope with what I was saying and we could begin to work through it together.
When I got help I was formally diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety (and PTSD from some abuse I received as a child which we think is the main catalyst for the depression developing) my anxiety rate as very extreme on the scale and depression sits just below that at extreme. For my anxiety it normally is worst in terms of social situations as I try and predict how every conversation in my life is going to go so I can be ready to respond to what the other person is going to say with something that doesn't make me look silly. Even ordering a coffee is a highly stressful thing for me to do. My depression has its peaks and its troughs but basically I never felt like I did anything well at all, that can range from how I perform at work that to how well I take the trash out to the bin that night, I would beat myself up about everything.
I am now getting professional help and working through the problems week by week but the best thing I ever did was talk about it to other people as it just got that load off my chest and I felt like I could breathe again.
Because of the way Beyond Blue helped me in my time of need I am looking to give back by raising much needed funds and awareness for them by running from the MCG to Adelaide (726km) in 13 days this June. Going to be a massive undertaking but I've got a good team behind me just like when I am fighting the depression and anxiety.
If you want to donate the link is:
https://individual-fundraiser-ongoi...yond-the-border-for-beyondblue?utm_source=EDH
Or to follow the progress of what's happening here is the facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/beyondtheborder2019
Cheers guys!
Takes a lot of courage to post that mate and it sounds like you’ve got control of things after a long time suffering.
Good luck on the run. Watch out for those trucks on the highway and maybe post a few thoughts in here along the way.
The only thing that’ll stop you is blisters so look after those feet
Shane Heard
Brownlow Medallist
- Mar 11, 2018
- 10,261
- 17,255
- AFL Club
- Essendon
History tends to show that Stoicism is often popular during times of difficulty or uncertainty. We’re in a resurgence of Stoicism precisely for that reason. Times are tumultuous and obstacles and adversities are plenty. The Stoic philosophers struggled just the same, which is why they write extensively about dealing with adversity. The art of life, Stoic Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself in Meditations, is “more like the wrestler’s art than the dancer’s.” It teaches you to “stand ready and firm to meet sudden and unexpected onsets.”
That’s what Stoicism is all about: learning to live a good life by developing peace of mind through confidence of one’s ability to overcome adversity. Here are 20 quotes from the great ancient Stoics to help you stand ready against adversity:
https://dailystoic.com/20-stoic-adversity-quotes/
That’s what Stoicism is all about: learning to live a good life by developing peace of mind through confidence of one’s ability to overcome adversity. Here are 20 quotes from the great ancient Stoics to help you stand ready against adversity:
https://dailystoic.com/20-stoic-adversity-quotes/
sammm
Premium Platinum
no we are both going through difficult times. it has been difficult to hear that your father dislikes you so much that he would go out of his way to try and make sure that we got nothing. Now it just looks like we are money hungry
It’s sad to hear that your father had little love, compassion and empathy for his own children. His dislike, was his problem, his issue, the only advice I can give, is don’t make his problems and issues yours. Talk to people you trust(wether professional or personal) express how hurtful it was and is. Accept the fact it was who he was, and that neither you or your brother had no control over his perceptions. Acknowledge that you can control your own beliefs and perceptions about yourself.
- Jul 10, 2012
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- Manchester City, Lakers
I'm a long poster on BF, but the first time I have posted here. I want to start by saying that I am not a drug abuser of any kind, I have never done cocaine, marijuana, acid etc, i rarely drink, but at a bachelors party about 6 weeks ago, I did something while intoxicated that was incredibly stupid because "everyone was doing it" and it was offered to me. I did MDMA (escstacy).
It just made me anxious and I didn't enjoy it at all, after 3 hours of hating it I finally came down and felt relieved that it was over.
But that was just the beginning. My comedown was something out of a nightmare. I was disassociated, derealized, anxiety through the roof, couldn't sleep (still cant sleep long), depressed. It was just a nightmare.
About 4 weeks in, I came good. I had a weekend and I felt completely normal and that everything was okay. I even went out and watched UFC with my friends and felt great. I was so damn relieved. I was skipping as I walked. But then a few days later, I started to feel down again, and I panicked. Like, really panicked. And for the past 2 weeks I have been an emotional wreck. My mind is racing so fast that I cut shut it up, I have moments of being clear, but then my thoughts start racing again. I get moments of depression washing over me, but usually subside. And I'm just getting anxious all the time over the dumbest things.
7 weeks now, I know that the drug is gone. But my mind wont stop racing and I can't stop being anxious. And with the lack of sleep (I usually sleep for 2-3 hours wake up, awake for an hour, fall asleep) I'm starting to feel exhausted both mentally and physically. It's like I can't think properly or perceive me environment proper.y But my brain still won't shut up.
I have always been a hypochondriac. I have gone through periods of it in the past where I thought I had some serious disease, worried about it for months and months, then got it checked and it was okay. I would be fine for a year or so, then something else would crop up and I would worry again.
During the comedown, I had dark thoughts that I had ruined my brain for good. I was reading horror stories online of people who after abusing the drug had comedowns that lasted for years. This shook me to my core. I have only taken this thing once in my entire life. So I know it can't be the comedown still, but it has left my brain in a wreck as if all those crazy emotions I experienced, my brain just can't shake them. It's going non stop 24/7 just worrying and worrying and being anxious and anxious.
My wife has been amazing, and is there everyday. But she doesn't really know what I'm going through. I know if I can just shut up my brain and let it recover I will be okay, but it seems impossible right now.
I think I have decided to go to therapy and get this s**t sorted. But it just sucks. I have always been a strong and calm dude and just one night on one drug freaking one time and this has happened? Man I feel regret
Not sure what I need from this post. Reassurance maybe?
What is annoying about this is that it comes and goes like a cloud. Anyone experience this? I will have like this warm shitty feeling in my head and body and it just feels like dread, dark, like nothing is good anymore and never will be again. And then it can just go NTTAWWT and vanish and im completely fine.
It just made me anxious and I didn't enjoy it at all, after 3 hours of hating it I finally came down and felt relieved that it was over.
But that was just the beginning. My comedown was something out of a nightmare. I was disassociated, derealized, anxiety through the roof, couldn't sleep (still cant sleep long), depressed. It was just a nightmare.
About 4 weeks in, I came good. I had a weekend and I felt completely normal and that everything was okay. I even went out and watched UFC with my friends and felt great. I was so damn relieved. I was skipping as I walked. But then a few days later, I started to feel down again, and I panicked. Like, really panicked. And for the past 2 weeks I have been an emotional wreck. My mind is racing so fast that I cut shut it up, I have moments of being clear, but then my thoughts start racing again. I get moments of depression washing over me, but usually subside. And I'm just getting anxious all the time over the dumbest things.
7 weeks now, I know that the drug is gone. But my mind wont stop racing and I can't stop being anxious. And with the lack of sleep (I usually sleep for 2-3 hours wake up, awake for an hour, fall asleep) I'm starting to feel exhausted both mentally and physically. It's like I can't think properly or perceive me environment proper.y But my brain still won't shut up.
I have always been a hypochondriac. I have gone through periods of it in the past where I thought I had some serious disease, worried about it for months and months, then got it checked and it was okay. I would be fine for a year or so, then something else would crop up and I would worry again.
During the comedown, I had dark thoughts that I had ruined my brain for good. I was reading horror stories online of people who after abusing the drug had comedowns that lasted for years. This shook me to my core. I have only taken this thing once in my entire life. So I know it can't be the comedown still, but it has left my brain in a wreck as if all those crazy emotions I experienced, my brain just can't shake them. It's going non stop 24/7 just worrying and worrying and being anxious and anxious.
My wife has been amazing, and is there everyday. But she doesn't really know what I'm going through. I know if I can just shut up my brain and let it recover I will be okay, but it seems impossible right now.
I think I have decided to go to therapy and get this s**t sorted. But it just sucks. I have always been a strong and calm dude and just one night on one drug freaking one time and this has happened? Man I feel regret
Not sure what I need from this post. Reassurance maybe?
What is annoying about this is that it comes and goes like a cloud. Anyone experience this? I will have like this warm shitty feeling in my head and body and it just feels like dread, dark, like nothing is good anymore and never will be again. And then it can just go NTTAWWT and vanish and im completely fine.
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Thanks for your honest post.
I can't speak from experience regarding the effects of illicit drugs. In fact I don't even drink alcohol. But from my experience it's pretty common to feel anxious about being anxious and depressed about being depressed once you have experienced one or both of these dreadful emotions to the level you have described, where it becomes physical. When it first happened to me I tried to approach it like any other difficult problem, work my way out of it or away from it, mainly by thinking. However, thinking about the problem is a major cause of the issue. It's a problem you cannot easily escape because it's inside your mind. Have you noticed when you think about your issue you become more anxious or more down, but when you are distracted with a task you dont feel as anxious?
My suggestion to you would be to:
- see your doctor for advice and potentially a referral to a psychologist. They won't judge you, your experience is common, especially these days.
- consider beginning mindfulness meditation which has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression in numerous studies
- look after yourself physically. Exercise and eat well. There is a clear link between nutrition, exercise and mental illness
- pm someone here if you need someone to vent to, or for some support.
- remember, you may feel alone but you're not. Mental illness effects most people at one stage in their life, and those who have experienced are usually more than happy to help someone in need.
Feel free to pm me if you want to talk. Good luck.
My depression is worked based. Low morale environment, understaffing, high stress. After a while you just feel numb and constantly tired. No lifestyle balance.
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- Jul 10, 2012
- 7,499
- 9,218
- AFL Club
- West Coast
- Other Teams
- Manchester City, Lakers
I have been running everyday, doing meditation, eating healthy, completely cut out alcohol or caffeine. And it's true that when im not focused on it, it does fade away. My sleep is getting better, and I usually wake up feeling pretty good but as I'm getting ready for work I start to get nervous. (Will it be better today? Will it get worse? Is today the day I finally have a panic attack?) And I end up getting to work a nervous wreck because of it. I think most of it may be in my head but its hard to tell. I keep waking up thinking "Is it gone yet?" and waiting for that magical moment where its all over.
I really think going through such a bout of negative emotions when I have never really had a disorder or never tried drugs like this so had no idea what a comedown was, really knocked me off kilter. Perhaps I have developed sensitization and need to work my through it.
Has anyone here been sensitized and how did you work through it?
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osity
Yes, your body is sensitised, but dont just assume it's a reaction or result of the drug. Sensitisation is a very common part of anxiety. The anxiety makes you feel so physically dreadful you become hyper-aware or on the alert for any signs of it happening again. Even the mere thought of being anxious now or in the future makes you more anxious. You literally fear it. This sensitisation is essentially an over-active amygdala, which is the fight/flight/freeze centre of the primitive brain. Mindfulness, which is basically being mindful of the present, not stuck in thought, has been shown to calm the amygdala and return it to a normal state (shown on functional MRI scans).
With meditation, sometimes people don't understand it's real purpose. Sure, it can be really relaxing at the time, but that's only part of the benefit. The real benefit is it increases your ability to return to the present. even when you are not meditating. Essentially you are exercising your skill at identifying unnecessary, harmful or pointless thinking and returning back to the present, the task at hand. You are reprogramming your brain to return to now, not get stuck in thought. After a lot of practice, you can become very good at it.
Why is this important? Well for me I am so good at this now, when my mind inevitably wanders to worries or negative thoughts I am almost instantly aware of them, identify them as nothing more than thoughts, smile, and let them fade away. Then I'm back in the present where my immediate surroundings are not negative or scary. It's your thoughts that are negative or scary, not usually your present. That's what living in your mind can do, it puts you in a negative or anxious 'world' almost constantly, even when your circumstances are neither. When you are distracted by a task you forget about your negative or scary thoughts and your anxiety or depression symptoms lessen or stop.
One great meditation I use, which really set me on the right track, was identifying and naming my thoughts. I'd wait patiently with my eyes closed awaiting a thought. Eventually (sooner than later) one would come. When I eventually become aware of that thought (ie. remembered what I was doing) I would examine the thought with curiosity, name what it was in my mind or out loud, attach it to an imaginary cloud, or leaf on a stream, or bus on a road, then watch it drift away. Then I'd wait for the next thought. For example, a thought may come about how silly this meditation is. I would examine that thought like an object, without judgement and with curiosity. I'd say "I just had a judgmental thought of about this meditation", isn't that interesting. Then I'd imagine it drifting away like a cloud in the sky and wait quietly for the next thought.
Here is a guided meditation showing how to do this:
Your description of becoming anxious about the day ahead, and worrying if it will be an anxious day, is very typical. I use to do it every day. However, using the mindfulness technique described above, I would identify this as just a thought then let it pass. After all, it's only a thought about the day, it is not reality.
One counter-intuitive aspect of anxiety is the more you fear the physical feelings of anxiety the worse they can become. This pattern can eventually result in a full-blown panic attack. You get anxious thoughts about the physical symptoms of anxiety, which results in a release of stress hormones, which creates more physical symptoms, which results in more anxious thoughts, etc, etc. To break the cycle you accept the physical feelings as a natural physical reaction to a stressor or fear. Don't try to fight them or make them go away, let them happen knowing they are basically harmless. This acceptance lessens the thoughts of panic which lessens the symptoms, which lessens the worrying thoughts. This takes practice but does work.
Well you are doing many of the correct things which will help you move past this episode.
Yes, your body is sensitised, but dont just assume it's a reaction or result of the drug. Sensitisation is a very common part of anxiety. The anxiety makes you feel so physically dreadful you become hyper-aware or on the alert for any signs of it happening again. Even the mere thought of being anxious now or in the future makes you more anxious. You literally fear it. This sensitisation is essentially an over-active amygdala, which is the fight/flight/freeze centre of the primitive brain. Mindfulness, which is basically being mindful of the present, not stuck in thought, has been shown to calm the amygdala and return it to a normal state (shown on functional MRI scans).
With meditation, sometimes people don't understand it's real purpose. Sure, it can be really relaxing at the time, but that's only part of the benefit. The real benefit is it increases your ability to return to the present. even when you are not meditating. Essentially you are exercising your skill at identifying unnecessary, harmful or pointless thinking and returning back to the present, the task at hand. You are reprogramming your brain to return to now, not get stuck in thought. After a lot of practice, you can become very good at it.
Why is this important? Well for me I am so good at this now, when my mind inevitably wanders to worries or negative thoughts I am almost instantly aware of them, identify them as nothing more than thoughts, smile, and let them fade away. Then I'm back in the present where my immediate surroundings are not negative or scary. It's your thoughts that are negative or scary, not usually your present. That's what living in your mind can do, it puts you in a negative or anxious 'world' almost constantly, even when your circumstances are neither. When you are distracted by a task you forget about your negative or scary thoughts and your anxiety or depression symptoms lessen or stop.
One great meditation I use, which really set me on the right track, was identifying and naming my thoughts. I'd wait patiently with my eyes closed awaiting a thought. Eventually (sooner than later) one would come. When I eventually become aware of that thought (ie. remembered what I was doing) I would examine the thought with curiosity, name what it was in my mind or out loud, attach it to an imaginary cloud, or leaf on a stream, or bus on a road, then watch it drift away. Then I'd wait for the next thought. For example, a thought may come about how silly this meditation is. I would examine that thought like an object, without judgement and with curiosity. I'd say "I just had a judgmental thought of about this meditation", isn't that interesting. Then I'd imagine it drifting away like a cloud in the sky and wait quietly for the next thought.
Here is a guided meditation showing how to do this:
Your description of becoming anxious about the day ahead, and worrying if it will be an anxious day, is very typical. I use to do it every day. However, using the mindfulness technique described above, I would identify this as just a thought then let it pass. After all, it's only a thought about the day, it is not reality.
One counter-intuitive aspect of anxiety is the more you fear the physical feelings of anxiety the worse they can become. This pattern can eventually result in a full-blown panic attack. You get anxious thoughts about the physical symptoms of anxiety, which results in a release of stress hormones, which creates more physical symptoms, which results in more anxious thoughts, etc, etc. To break the cycle you accept the physical feelings as a natural physical reaction to a stressor or fear. Don't try to fight them or make them go away, let them happen knowing they are basically harmless. This acceptance lessens the thoughts of panic which lessens the symptoms, which lessens the worrying thoughts. This takes practice but does work.
- Jul 10, 2012
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- Manchester City, Lakers
Cheers for the detailed reply bro. Really appreciate it. I have started using these techniques today i.e just observing the emotion and letting it pass. Its funny. In the grips of it, it feels like it will never go away and that its always been this way. Even though 20 minutes earlier i was completely fine. I guess i just got to keep doing this and becoming aware until i dont fear it anymore.
Ive never really had to deal with these kind of emotions before. I had a good childhood and a great early adult hood. Things have come fairly easy for me. Which im blessed and thankful for. So i haven't been equipped to deal with emotions like this. So they have really knocked me for 6. I think i made them worse than they actually were and now im paying the price.
Oh well. Time to get mindful
Cheers mate.
My 'event' occurred when I was in my forties and I had never struggled with anything like it before. It did take time to get better but it was well worth it because I feel so much stronger and happier now. When I look back I was oblivious to the struggles I had in my life in various areas. They were there but I didn't know it, I just assumed it was normal. Now I know myself and my thoughts so much better, and I'm so much better off.
Here's one more 'tip' from my experiences which goes hand in hand with mindfulness. Cognitive (or thought) fusion and defusion. Thought fusion is where you have a thought, usually a self-judgment or worry, and you 'fuse' with it, ie. believe it as truth without question. "I'm no good at this". "I'm an imposter". "No one likes me". "everyone can see I'm a failure". These thoughts are destructive and can lead toward depression and anxiety if we believe them without challenging them. The question is, are they true? Do we believe them because of the way we feel at the time? Mindfulness of thought helps us observe our thoughts objectively and without judgement. When you practice mindfulness you can identify when you think things like "Look at me. Everyone must think I'm a moron" and identify it as just a thought. By observing it objectively as merely a thought you don't need to fuse with it so it doesn't have the same impact on you. You seperate yourself from the thought which is defusion. For someone who is anxious you may think "I'm going to have an anxious day, I won't be able to cope". But that's just a thought. Identify it as a thought, name it as a worry. This defuses the thought from you. You dont automatically accept it as truth.
You're doing the right things, you'll get there!
- Jul 10, 2012
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- 9,218
- AFL Club
- West Coast
- Other Teams
- Manchester City, Lakers
Im 32 now. Now that you mention it, i have dealt with health anxiety my entire life but never really noticed before now. I was really shy until my 20s too where i came out of my shell. Perhaps i have had anxiety my entire life and didnt know it and this situaion has brought it to light. I have also had a high fear of death. But perhaps it was more on the unhealthy side.
I will practise the noting emotion or thinking thing. I have already started and already seen it have some effect. Thanks alot.
- Oct 30, 2017
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- AFL Club
- Fremantle
Facebook is the biggest bunch of s**t ever. Seriously. I tried to give it a go and it's the biggest bunch of shallow, fleeting, unimportant bullshit there is.
I've tried to put so many different, interesting things up to create discussion and no-one ever bites. It's just something for people to pull out their phone when they have a few minutes free in their dull lives to scroll through the last 15-20 mins of whatever horseshit shows up in their feed.
If you can't make your point in a short sentence that takes anymore than 5 seconds to read then no-one cares.
Does anyone want to talk about this movie? This band? This interesting thing going on in the world? No. They want to see dull memes that have already been posted 1000 times, cute dog picture and picture of the dessert some arsehole got after lunch.
I've joined several different groups dedicated to particular subjects/interests and it's more or less the same. For example I joined a group for this true crime podcast I listen to and absolutely no-one ever posts about the episodes, they all just posts stupid random memes that have little or nothing to do with the podcast.
I admit that I keep kind of odd hours, like late in the evening, and by the time everyone's up the next day they're only looking through maybe the last half hour at most of whatever random, meaningless, inane bullshit that's popped up in their feed.
For people that have been on facebook a long time alot of you may be thinking "Yeah... no s**t! It's facebook, what did you expect?" but I avoided it for a long time and only went on it briefly in the past as I was much more accustomed to forums, but I thought I should give it a try as you're connected to people you actually know and the idea of constantly refreshed live conversations seemed like something I should give a try. Sadly, it's an utter waste of time. It is what it is. At-least I know now. I can say I gave it a try. It's boring beyond belief and the last place on the internet one should go to if they're looking for any kind of meaningful or interesting discussion.
Forums are much better, but you know what's even better? Actual human contact, which facebook only serves to further distance us from every day. Facebook and every other form of social media is an entirely different thing from actual human contact. It can't even begin to compare to seeing someone in person, shaking their hand, giving them a hug, seeing their smile, hearing the inflection in their voice, seeing their eyes light up and actually physically being there in their presence. I'm actually glad I've had this experience because it's really helped me put things in perspective. I'd rather have even just 2-3 people I know in person that I meet up with every now and then than communicating with any number of people through some text on my phone screen.
I've tried to put so many different, interesting things up to create discussion and no-one ever bites. It's just something for people to pull out their phone when they have a few minutes free in their dull lives to scroll through the last 15-20 mins of whatever horseshit shows up in their feed.
If you can't make your point in a short sentence that takes anymore than 5 seconds to read then no-one cares.
Does anyone want to talk about this movie? This band? This interesting thing going on in the world? No. They want to see dull memes that have already been posted 1000 times, cute dog picture and picture of the dessert some arsehole got after lunch.
I've joined several different groups dedicated to particular subjects/interests and it's more or less the same. For example I joined a group for this true crime podcast I listen to and absolutely no-one ever posts about the episodes, they all just posts stupid random memes that have little or nothing to do with the podcast.
I admit that I keep kind of odd hours, like late in the evening, and by the time everyone's up the next day they're only looking through maybe the last half hour at most of whatever random, meaningless, inane bullshit that's popped up in their feed.
For people that have been on facebook a long time alot of you may be thinking "Yeah... no s**t! It's facebook, what did you expect?" but I avoided it for a long time and only went on it briefly in the past as I was much more accustomed to forums, but I thought I should give it a try as you're connected to people you actually know and the idea of constantly refreshed live conversations seemed like something I should give a try. Sadly, it's an utter waste of time. It is what it is. At-least I know now. I can say I gave it a try. It's boring beyond belief and the last place on the internet one should go to if they're looking for any kind of meaningful or interesting discussion.
Forums are much better, but you know what's even better? Actual human contact, which facebook only serves to further distance us from every day. Facebook and every other form of social media is an entirely different thing from actual human contact. It can't even begin to compare to seeing someone in person, shaking their hand, giving them a hug, seeing their smile, hearing the inflection in their voice, seeing their eyes light up and actually physically being there in their presence. I'm actually glad I've had this experience because it's really helped me put things in perspective. I'd rather have even just 2-3 people I know in person that I meet up with every now and then than communicating with any number of people through some text on my phone screen.
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