Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

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Condolences mate.

Pets aren't just animals, they're family, it hurts to lose one especially one you've had so long.

I have a cat who is getting on in age, she's 19 and well past her prime, I'm dreading the day she passes.

Chin up, and get around family, remember the good times.
Thanks , yes it is hard we new the time was coming and l think he was trying to hang on but it wasn't to be. We will be home in a few days from Europe and will get to say our final goodbyes then. He's being kept at the vets.
 

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hilly

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Sorry to hear that KK. Try to keep in mind that 16 is a 'good innings' and I'm sure was looked after well at your abode.

On a lighter note, I think my cat is secretly annoyed at me choosing a royal blue collar for him prior to the season commencing.
 

ferball

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Cheers mate.

It’s very good advice, and one that I’ve tried to implement l over the journey.
I’m normally faaaairly disciplined in how I broach things.
I guess what makes me want to kick a cat is how things quickly devolve into very negative (to put it mildly) conversations whennit does come up, during which I don’t feel as though I’m being acknowledged, other than as being blinkered into unreasonable selfishness by my point of view.

Today I made a mistake and it turned to complete ****.

But you’re right. Life is long and at 35 I (hope) have plenty still to go. A history of diagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder can make perspective tricky at times but is also a major part of what makes me me and see things differently to lots of other people.

It’ll be right. Just have to hope we’re both as invested in each other as I know I am.
Honestly ... your missus has a one month old baby. Her biochemistry and all the rest of it is completely different too, even if she doesn't have post natal depression or anything like that. She's just been thru something pretty full on as well.

You've probably got alot of weird biochemistry happening now too and tiredness etc etc all that can make some things seem more important than they are. Specifically the future in that context you're talking about. Especially when there is a kid at home and you aren't really that central to its existence. Give her a break for a while with that sort of stuff. Especially if she has a support network where you are now. It might be too daunting for her to contemplate. Also you might have been the most important thing in her life once but you won't be now - you probably won't get the acknowledgement that you want at the moment.

This kid here and now is what's important to her.

If you want her to warm to the idea she'll need to see the benefit for the kid at some point. But what LtK said is good advice.
 

SMaturin

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Honestly ... your missus has a one month old baby. Her biochemistry and all the rest of it is completely different too, even if she doesn't have post natal depression or anything like that. She's just been thru something pretty full on as well.

You've probably got alot of weird biochemistry happening now too and tiredness etc etc all that can make some things seem more important than they are. Specifically the future in that context you're talking about. Especially when there is a kid at home and you aren't really that central to its existence. Give her a break for a while with that sort of stuff. Especially if she has a support network where you are now. It might be too daunting for her to contemplate. Also you might have been the most important thing in her life once but you won't be now - you probably won't get the acknowledgement that you want at the moment.

This kid here and now is what's important to her.

If you want her to warm to the idea she'll need to see the benefit for the kid at some point. But what LtK said is good advice.
Cheers mate.
13 month old, but your points are still just as valid.
 

ferball

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Cheers mate.
13 month old, but your points are still just as valid.
Sorry about that.

I read it as "my first born turned one month". 13 months is a whole different story imo.


Actually now that I think about it I should have twigged to that. I don't remember you becoming a dad in April...
 

ferball

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Some of what i said is valid (her support network for example) but .... I dunno. That's getting to the point where it should be give and take communication wise.

Can you identify the point where the discussion tends to go pear shaped? You don't have to here - its a public forum and you don't know me from anyone else. If you can identify that 'trigger' point then sometimes you can work with or around it and it can tell you something about what she is feeling inside and why she reacts that way.

But I dunno, I'm not a qualified counselor or anything.
 

SMaturin

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Some of what i said is valid (her support network for example) but .... I dunno. That's getting to the point where it should be give and take communication wise.

Can you identify the point where the discussion tends to go pear shaped? You don't have to here - its a public forum and you don't know me from anyone else. If you can identify that 'trigger' point then sometimes you can work with or around it and it can tell you something about what she is feeling inside and why she reacts that way.

But I dunno, I'm not a qualified counselor or anything.
We'll get there. Life is long and for living. :thumbsu:
 

Luke72

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Sorry to hear that KK. Try to keep in mind that 16 is a 'good innings' and I'm sure was looked after well at your abode.

On a lighter note, I think my cat is secretly annoyed at me choosing a royal blue collar for him prior to the season commencing.
Clearly jinxed everything, for God's sake remove the collar and get a lucky one. Happy to chip in if it turn's the fortunes of the team around.
 

DarkPhoenix

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Thread starter #335
Returning to the "Don't be scared to ask to change medication".

I felt like my current medication wasn't doing what it used to, felt like I was tolerating it more now.

Asked my GP to try something else and he happily switched me from Fluvoxamine to Zoloft(Setraline), felt like absolute crap switching over (detox) but my head is so much clearer now, I feel like it was a great move.
 

Val Keating

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Returning to the "Don't be scared to ask to change medication".

I felt like my current medication wasn't doing what it used to, felt like I was tolerating it more now.

Asked my GP to try something else and he happily switched me from Fluvoxamine to Zoloft(Setraline), felt like absolute crap switching over (detox) but my head is so much clearer now, I feel like it was a great move.
That’s good mate. You’ve got to be careful with meds. They all sort of work differently for different people. Horses for course type stuff.

In my case, I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what I’m on if I’m not pushing myself in general. Yeah I can load up on benzos and not give a **** about anything, but that doesn’t help me get better, or rather deal with my **** better. It does numb me though and I think I’m ok....till I stop and it all comes back.

Meds definitely do their bit, but be careful, some will numb you of the good stuff too.
 

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Val Keating

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Also have to say, anyone who’s struggling don’t read anything from nuffies like me and let it effect your thinking.

If you’re struggling please seek professional help.
 

Groin guru

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This is a wonderful thread.

I’m going ok, but like we all do I have my ongoing poo to push up hill.

My first born turned one a month ago and life is good.

Unfortunately my wife and I - who don’t really bicker or argue about much else - have had the spectre of our long term plans becoming more and more of an issue as time and life rolls on.

I won’t attempt the full story of what on paper can only appear as somewhat of a petty and very first world problem to have, but ultimately the most important value and thing that has motivated me to get through all aspects of adult life (including various times of complete poo) has been the desire to move back to my home town and take on the family home (built by my great grandfather).

Identify and community are central to me, and it seems that as time goes on my wife and I are on completely different pages as to what we want.

It’s hard. On paper it seems like nothing, and it sounds even worse when I try to vernalise it. But at the moment it’s just a bit hard.
Definitely not somewhat petty.

Sorry for interjecting but this is a similar situation that I am in and I have no clue what to do (even after multiple sit downs with specialists etc.). Please let me know when you find an answer because I sure as hell don't have one.

The only difference is my wife and I don't have a child (miscarriage couple of years ago prohibited it - life has gotten in the way of trying again). My wife (like you) has strong roots at home - more so with her dad having heart issues etc. I do not, and family issues on my side have made me not want to return. Returning home is the complete opposite to what I want. Both of us are career orientated and knew full well that our careers may take us to different parts of the world. We made an agreement when we first started dating that we would never prohibit each other from achieving our goals - partially because we would probably resent the other if we did. I would move anywhere and make do if it meant she had the job she wanted, but that anywhere is not home as I see it as a complete backwards step and mentally would be hard. That time is now. I don't know what you are your wife are like but what makes it harder for both of us is we are both self-sufficient and I am just as happy being alone as I am with her.

Good luck SMaturin, these thoughts have been challenging to get through and I can only imagine having them with another element (child). I hope you get through this and get to a place where you are both happy with your choices.
 

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Just had a quick look. Sounds like tough going mate.
Yeh it came on pretty recently and its a very rare condition, not many know about it but its changed a lot for me. Could get better, could get worse, so much is not known about it and its very much in its early days as a disease. Its horrible but perspective helps me get by, just taking it one day at a time at this point.
 

Val Keating

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Yeh it came on pretty recently and its a very rare condition, not many know about it but its changed a lot for me. Could get better, could get worse, so much is not known about it and its very much in its early days as a disease. Its horrible but perspective helps me get by, just taking it one day at a time at this point.
Is there something you can take for relief from the pain?
 

Bennymate

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Is there something you can take for relief from the pain?
No treatment or cure which makes it a total bummer, thankfully a lot of research is going into it as well as increased awareness. As time goes on i should be able to adjust and kind of block out the symptoms.
 
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That's assuming it persists after you close your eyes.
Yeh it sticks around even when i close my eyes, makes going to bed a bit interesting thats for sure. Mine is quite mild compared to the severity of other sufferers but could get worse with time. Damn odd disease, but perspective helps.
 

ferball

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Yeh it sticks around even when i close my eyes, makes going to bed a bit interesting thats for sure. Mine is quite mild compared to the severity of other sufferers but could get worse with time. Damn odd disease, but perspective helps.
I dunno if its the same but I get something similar sometimes. Just based on those gifs on the wikipedia site anyway. Not all the time and it might be related to lights dazzling me and maybe years of using computers contributes, too much partying when I was younger. I dunno. Its not really a problem for me just something I sometimes notice, especially at night. We might even be talking about different things. Anyway...

When you "see" you aren't actually just "seeing" with your eyes. All sorts of stuff is happening to that information that hits the back of your eye, its being processed and cut back, edited for the important bits by your brain between when that light hits your eye and when you consciously think about it.

I'm just thinking along the lines of training your brain to ignore that info unconsciously so its less irritating to your conscious mind. It does that for a variety of sensory stimuli as it is.
 
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I dunno if its the same but I get something similar sometimes. Just based on those gifs on the wikipedia site anyway. Not all the time and it might be related to lights dazzling me and maybe years of using computers contributes, too much partying when I was younger. I dunno. Its not really a problem for me just something I sometimes notice, especially at night. We might even be talking about different things. Anyway...

When you "see" you aren't actually just "seeing" with your eyes. All sorts of stuff is happening to that information that hits the back of your eye, its being processed and cut back, edited for the important bits by your brain between when that light hits your eye and when you consciously think about it.

I'm just thinking along the lines of training your brain to ignore that info unconsciously so its less irritating to your conscious mind. It does that for a variety of sensory stimuli as it is.
I think everyone experiences some sort of static at some point, it's normal to experience it at night or in any low-light conditions, the cones of the eye (receptor cells that are responsible for color vision, fine detail,movement, etc.) are not active. Vision is taken over by cells called rods. Rods try to maximize any available ambient light, but they are not sensitive to color or fine detail. That is why night vision is not as precise as during the day.

The difference for people with VS is that we can't filter this out at all times. It can be visible during the day and overlay our entire vision. Of course the static alone isn't the only symptom of VS, for example I experience after images, trails, ghosting and a butt load of floaters. The floaters just started emerging randomly as the condition progressed, yet again, the brain can't filter these out anymore. It also makes driving at night a total pain, can't even glimpse at a headlight without it being stuck in my vision for a solid 20-30 seconds.

Research thus far has revealed that it's clearly the result of overly sensitive neurons firing in the brain, it's like living without a filter and seeing the world just with your eyes. The brain has lost that ability to filter unimportant details out, so you literally hit the nail on the head, it's purely a brain abnormality. In my case it's just started to really progress to the point where it's definitely noticeable. The positive I can take out of it is that no one has gone totally blind from it and I could have a lot worse things happen to me. We take life for granted sometimes and it's a bit of a wake up call for me to be honest. I'm hoping I can still go on and live a fulfilling and happy life, will take a hell of a lot of adjustment that's for sure.





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Luke72

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I think everyone experiences some sort of static at some point, it's normal to experience it at night or in any low-light conditions, the cones of the eye (receptor cells that are responsible for color vision, fine detail,movement, etc.) are not active. Vision is taken over by cells called rods. Rods try to maximize any available ambient light, but they are not sensitive to color or fine detail. That is why night vision is not as precise as during the day.

The difference for people with VS is that we can't filter this out at all times. It can be visible during the day and overlay our entire vision. Of course the static alone isn't the only symptom of VS, for example I experience after images, trails, ghosting and a butt load of floaters. The floaters just started emerging randomly as the condition progressed, yet again, the brain can't filter these out anymore. It also makes driving at night a total pain, can't even glimpse at a headlight without it being stuck in my vision for a solid 20-30 seconds.

Research thus far has revealed that it's clearly the result of overly sensitive neurons firing in the brain, it's like living without a filter and seeing the world just with your eyes. The brain has lost that ability to filter unimportant details out, so you literally hit the nail on the head, it's purely a brain abnormality. In my case it's just started to really progress to the point where it's definitely noticeable. The positive I can take out of it is that no one has gone totally blind from it and I could have a lot worse things happen to me. We take life for granted sometimes and it's a bit of a wake up call for me to be honest. I'm hoping I can still go on and live a fulfilling and happy life, will take a hell of a lot of adjustment that's for sure.





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That sounds shitty, good luck. As I get older I find driving at night a pain.
 
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