Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

Val Keating

Premiership Player
Dec 27, 2017
4,697
10,519
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Hi all

Came in here a few months back getting a few things off my chest and just wanted to say thanks for the kind messages back then, things have for the most part got back on track for me. It was really appreciated at the time and with a bit of time and perspective very much appreciated now.

There is one thing I want to share. Today I had a good friend end our friendship. In recent times out friendship certainly has gotten messy and it's taken a toll on both of us. I'll be ok that it is done, and for a few reasons it's probably a positive as we were certainly not getting the best out of each other. I'm numb and hurting a bit, but know I'll be ok. I've got other mates and my family and they've all been fantastic. I fully accept that I've said and done things that have made it get to this point, and I owned them and apologised for them. Also concede that it doesn't make everything all better, but it's a start.

The thing from my perspective is that I want to share is that for anyone looking for help is that it's ok to get that help. Whatever form that help is, it's fine to ask, seek it, consider it or look at it. And it's ok for that help to be a continual work-in-progress. One of several things where our friendship hit a wall is that they're having a very rough time for a number of reasons and as much as I want to be there for them, I can't be all the time and honestly I know my actions are not helping with some of their behaviour patterns. I've suggested that they speak to someone which they threw back at me. During our final conversation I apologised for my actions and accepted the hurt I had caused them, but didn't apologise for suggesting they talk to someone and told them the reasons why is because I ******* care. I'm convinced they'll double down and resist it more, but I don't regret saying it.

As they left I asked them to please take care of them self. And meant it.

And if anyone clicking through these is in a dark place, take care of yourself. It's ok to speak up. And I mean it.
How about you brother? Are you ok?
 

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Kangaroos4eva

Hall of Famer
Aug 22, 2012
37,329
62,249
NSW
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
West Ham United
All good thanks mate. Probably hit home over the next few days, but I'm ok. Had a chat with a few mates which was good to get off the chest.
Having a core friend/family network is great, especially when you are struggling.

I am glad you are doing well mate.
 

Val Keating

Premiership Player
Dec 27, 2017
4,697
10,519
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Slowly building up with the EMDR therapy. Man that cab dredge up some stuff your brain has decided to not deal with. It’s been almost 8 sessions now and we’re finally at the stage of going to the dark places. I’ve learned a few tricks to use to stay calm from this psychologist. It helps. Apparently somewhere along the line my fight & flight instincts got messed up (which I sort of knew already, she’s my 4th Psychologist and I have a regular psychiatrist). Means I’m always on guard, even though there’s nothing happening. I’ve only told a few people and everyone’s reaction is always the same, “but you’re so chilled out, or I don’t get it you’re always so relaxed, or nothing phases you.”

It’s not about how you present yourself it’s whats going on under the surface. Part of my deal is that I don’t want to negatively affect people with my s**t. It’s mine.
 

Kangaroos4eva

Hall of Famer
Aug 22, 2012
37,329
62,249
NSW
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
West Ham United
Slowly building up with the EMDR therapy. Man that cab dredge up some stuff your brain has decided to not deal with. It’s been almost 8 sessions now and we’re finally at the stage of going to the dark places. I’ve learned a few tricks to use to stay calm from this psychologist. It helps. Apparently somewhere along the line my fight & flight instincts got messed up (which I sort of knew already, she’s my 4th Psychologist and I have a regular psychiatrist). Means I’m always on guard, even though there’s nothing happening. I’ve only told a few people and everyone’s reaction is always the same, “but you’re so chilled out, or I don’t get it you’re always so relaxed, or nothing phases you.”

It’s not about how you present yourself it’s whats going on under the surface. Part of my deal is that I don’t want to negatively affect people with my s**t. It’s mine.
Stay strong mate, I know that type of therapy can be hard. Always happy to chat about it if you like.


I recently went through an alternative 'exposure response therapy' for 'Pure O' OCD and it was pure hell.

Pure O OCD is basically like obsessing over really nasty thoughts and having mind-based and behaviour (physical ones) compulsions. For some, it is recurring thoughts of murdering someone close, or the prospects of harming your own kids, etc. The more you fight it, the more you think and obsess about it. You might stop watching a show or doing something in case it triggered and these compulsions just reinforced it. My GP called it anxiety, but it wasn't that and I had it confirmed that it was a form of OCD that I had for over 10 years.

For the therapy, I had to expose myself to stuff that scared the crap out of me and had always terrified me. Embracing the remote, but real possibility, of that bad event occurring by just saying maybe has really helped me after the therapy, but I will always have good and bad days.

So I can OCD to my Aspergers syndrome, cerebral palsy and ADD (who didn't have that last one as a kid). Luck of the draw aye.

Not to make this about me, but I thought I would share my experience. Therapy is a necessary, albeit painful, part of battling our mental health issues.
 

Val Keating

Premiership Player
Dec 27, 2017
4,697
10,519
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Stay strong mate, I know that type of therapy can be hard. Always happy to chat about it if you like.


I recently went through an alternative 'exposure response therapy' for 'Pure O' OCD and it was pure hell.

Pure O OCD is basically like obsessing over really nasty thoughts and having mind-based and behaviour (physical ones) compulsions. For some, it is recurring thoughts of murdering someone close, or the prospects of harming your own kids, etc. The more you fight it, the more you think and obsess about it. You might stop watching a show or doing something in case it triggered and these compulsions just reinforced it. My GP called it anxiety, but it wasn't that and I had it confirmed that it was a form of OCD that I had for over 10 years.

For the therapy, I had to expose myself to stuff that scared the crap out of me and had always terrified me. Embracing the remote, but real possibility, of that bad event occurring by just saying maybe has really helped me after the therapy, but I will always have good and bad days.

So I can OCD to my Aspergers syndrome, cerebral palsy and ADD (who didn't have that last one as a kid). Luck of the draw aye.

Not to make this about me, but I thought I would share my experience. Therapy is a necessary, albeit painful, part of battling our mental health issues.
Thanks bro. That’s pretty heavy stuff you’re dealing with.

One of the hardest things for me is lowering my guard to the psychologist (and people in general tbh), Im always trying to figure them out.

My biggest fear is having a memory implanted, or rather created by the process. My childhood memories are so mixed up I don’t know what’s real or imagined. Nothing that’s happened to me later in life bothers me, example I was glassed and then stabbed in the face when I was in my early 20’s and had a s**t load of stitches in my face and neck, that didn’t affect me at all.

Then I have some s**t that that (potentially) happened when I was a kid and from that there’s certain things that just set me off. It doesn’t make sense either. Can be a sound, smell, or a certain environment. fu**en weird.

Anyway, everyone has their demons. Just can’t let the campaigners beat us.
 

Sopwiths North

Canadia Roo
Feb 22, 2018
670
3,161
under the stars
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Stay strong mate, I know that type of therapy can be hard. Always happy to chat about it if you like.


I recently went through an alternative 'exposure response therapy' for 'Pure O' OCD and it was pure hell.

Pure O OCD is basically like obsessing over really nasty thoughts and having mind-based and behaviour (physical ones) compulsions. For some, it is recurring thoughts of murdering someone close, or the prospects of harming your own kids, etc. The more you fight it, the more you think and obsess about it. You might stop watching a show or doing something in case it triggered and these compulsions just reinforced it. My GP called it anxiety, but it wasn't that and I had it confirmed that it was a form of OCD that I had for over 10 years.

For the therapy, I had to expose myself to stuff that scared the crap out of me and had always terrified me. Embracing the remote, but real possibility, of that bad event occurring by just saying maybe has really helped me after the therapy, but I will always have good and bad days.

So I can OCD to my Aspergers syndrome, cerebral palsy and ADD (who didn't have that last one as a kid). Luck of the draw aye.

Not to make this about me, but I thought I would share my experience. Therapy is a necessary, albeit painful, part of battling our mental health issues.
K4E I had no idea you had CP on top of everything else. That's just a crap hand to be dealt.

There's some people on here who are absolute battlers. I wish every single one of you guys all the best thoughts in your progress. Don't ever give up.
 

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