Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

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Luke72

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Aug 21, 2012
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Thanks mate. I went to the pub tonight in Brisbane. My mate drank beer I drank lemon lime bitters. Hadn't done that in years.

Taking kids camping (without wife) next week with some other families. Some big drinkers in that group so will be interesting whther I can stay off it. For the sake of my mental health I hope so.
Yeah I don’t think I could do it but am full of admiration for those that do. Take pride in achieving small goals.
 

susurrar

Team Captain
Apr 30, 2018
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Hey guys.

COVID has been absolutely awful for me.

Was fighting so much with my wife (in front of the kids), that we are having a break and she is staying at her Mums.
Really hard on my kids (8 and 6).

Was having some really really dark moments and couldn't get through the day.

Bit the bullet and got on Prozak script and saw a shrink today. I feel better already.

Said before you even consider trying to reconcile with my wife, he suggested just getting my own self sorted out first.

I am staying off grog completely, eating better and exercising. As mentioned in a previous thread, I have my first ever game of footy in a few weeks so looking forward to that.

I am also reading a great book on managing my anger better.

Every day is a challenge, but as the shrink said, I will get through it one way or another.

BOOMER.
well done mate. youve taken many big steps there that are going to do a lot of good for you.
 

Hojuman

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Thanks mate. I know me (and my family) are going to come out of this stronger.


As Dennis said mate " don't look in the rear view mirror too much ( or sumfin' like that )

You've got you and family through nearly 7 months of covid and the last 3 weeks of North playing. Corny, but, once you've hit the bottom > only way is up. Step by step. One small positive at a time. Get kicked in the guts ? No worries. I've overcome this hurdle before, l'll do it again.
 
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The acurate one

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Jan 23, 2019
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Hey guys.

COVID has been absolutely awful for me.

Was fighting so much with my wife (in front of the kids), that we are having a break and she is staying at her Mums.
Really hard on my kids (8 and 6).

Was having some really really dark moments and couldn't get through the day.

Bit the bullet and got on Prozak script and saw a shrink today. I feel better already.

Said before you even consider trying to reconcile with my wife, he suggested just getting my own self sorted out first.

I am staying off grog completely, eating better and exercising. As mentioned in a previous thread, I have my first ever game of footy in a few weeks so looking forward to that.

I am also reading a great book on managing my anger better.

Every day is a challenge, but as the shrink said, I will get through it one way or another.

BOOMER.

Good stuff Boomer :thumbsu: You should be very proud of yourself for firstly recognising the issue and then being man enough to do something about it.
Yep everyday is a challenge and it will be that way for quite a while, for not just yourself but for a lot if us.

But you'll be fine man, of that I'm sure:)

Matt
 

rickety

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Nov 3, 2007
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Hey guys.

COVID has been absolutely awful for me.

Was fighting so much with my wife (in front of the kids), that we are having a break and she is staying at her Mums.
Really hard on my kids (8 and 6).

Was having some really really dark moments and couldn't get through the day.

Bit the bullet and got on Prozak script and saw a shrink today. I feel better already.

Said before you even consider trying to reconcile with my wife, he suggested just getting my own self sorted out first.

I am staying off grog completely, eating better and exercising. As mentioned in a previous thread, I have my first ever game of footy in a few weeks so looking forward to that.

I am also reading a great book on managing my anger better.

Every day is a challenge, but as the shrink said, I will get through it one way or another.

BOOMER.
Well done mate on making that first bloody hard step, then another and another. Another curve ball today but not your fault. Or your wifes. Certainly nothing to do with your kids. As for me, well, I am just happy it stopped raining :) Makes my day soooo much better. Footy training for me just stopped, just gotta grab a ball and pop out some laps by myself or on the weekend when my best little mate is here. Not as good as seeing my mates and crapping on about the cruise for 2, so to speak. Keep not drinking and exercising, you will feel better because your body feels better. Mate if you can sit through the crap that was dished up on saturday, then this will be a doddle 🙃
 

tales129

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Jul 27, 2006
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Booze is such a hard one to tackle

I work in the wine industry - studied as a winemaker and spent several years doing long hours during vintage, i now work in fine wine retail to get a bit of life balance.

I still struggle with booze regularly. Spent some time a few years back with a psychologist, after getting to a point where I had no Shut off and would drink myself blind. On multiple occasions I had thrown up in my sleep only to wake up with no recollection of the previous night.

it’s probably been 14 months since I last passed out after a huge session which was my 30th birthday -saw some video footage where I was completely non compos and incoherent - was a real eye opener.

Our little fella is almost 2 now, and the wife has had a pretty difficult post natal time, she often goes to bed early with him - leaving me with little to do especially now covid has us limited in specific activities. I’ve been working pretty flat chat during this period but find I can’t really go 2-3 days without craving any form of drink. Thing is it’s not cheap sh*t or anything for the sake of it. I’ve setup a cellar with 12 dozen wines at a value of over $15k in the last 18 months and I’ll find that most nights I’ll drink half to a full bottle.

My body is accustomed to it now, but I’m just drained at the moment - little fella keeps us on our toes and with work busy I find I’m putting a few coffees away as well as a bunch of piss each day leading to fatigue and a lack of drive. Not by any means laziness, but I just find most tasks and things mundane unless they are now revolving around some form of eating and drinking.

this is more just me getting sh*t out of my mind
 

rickety

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Nov 3, 2007
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Booze is such a hard one to tackle

I work in the wine industry - studied as a winemaker and spent several years doing long hours during vintage, i now work in fine wine retail to get a bit of life balance.

I still struggle with booze regularly. Spent some time a few years back with a psychologist, after getting to a point where I had no Shut off and would drink myself blind. On multiple occasions I had thrown up in my sleep only to wake up with no recollection of the previous night.

it’s probably been 14 months since I last passed out after a huge session which was my 30th birthday -saw some video footage where I was completely non compos and incoherent - was a real eye opener.

Our little fella is almost 2 now, and the wife has had a pretty difficult post natal time, she often goes to bed early with him - leaving me with little to do especially now covid has us limited in specific activities. I’ve been working pretty flat chat during this period but find I can’t really go 2-3 days without craving any form of drink. Thing is it’s not cheap sh*t or anything for the sake of it. I’ve setup a cellar with 12 dozen wines at a value of over $15k in the last 18 months and I’ll find that most nights I’ll drink half to a full bottle.

My body is accustomed to it now, but I’m just drained at the moment - little fella keeps us on our toes and with work busy I find I’m putting a few coffees away as well as a bunch of piss each day leading to fatigue and a lack of drive. Not by any means laziness, but I just find most tasks and things mundane unless they are now revolving around some form of eating and drinking.

this is more just me getting sh*t out of my mind
Lol mate your best little mate will keep you on your toes for the next whole rest of your life 🙃 I personally have a dislike of wine as my ex was a drunk, not a massive drinker as such, but then again, it affected her pretty badly, imo. She'd start at about 2pm and by 7ish she'd be as nasty as a feral cat being put on a vets table. Red was her poison of choice and had the worser effect. I honestly can not even stand the smell of it, and my former self would stare in amazement at how little I drink these days, partly because of that and also because I dont want to wake up with a hangover and miss whatever it is my best little mate is upto. But I digress. Run your wife a bath and then you hop into bed early with your son. Read a book. Bake a cake for the next day. Won't be long before your little mate will be wanting you to kick the footy with him and then he'll be off to school. Make yourself enjoy your son, not that you don't, but make extra time for him, your connection with him will be soooo much better for it. Waffling mate sorry, and really I have no clue, but its good for you to talk about it, imo. Good luck 🙃
 

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koshari

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Mar 24, 2011
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one of the boyfriend's of one of the mum's from my kids school took his life this week.

now he had an affair with the wife of one of my good mates which led to their divorce so my feelings are a little conflicted.

But it's sad none the less.
Never let it be said that life isnt complex,

Just had a pretty popular young local bloke son of a fella i know take his life recently, dunno the details but tragedy none the less, small shout out to Tom Papley for showing a lot of class and saying a few well chosen words in respect of him and reinforcing the hope that people will seek help in such scenarios.
 

rickety

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I wonder if anyone has an easy life? I did have from about 22 to 40, as casual as you like. But I digress. I have 1 friend who is recently separated. Like many the separation was a bit toilet and she struggled a bit when the going got tough. Compound that with 2 teenage daughters, hard enough on good days. Well the older of the 2 has Anorexia and has been battling for a few years. She is currently hospitalised. But she escaped last friday night, her mum saw her and it took her 3 hours following taxis and trams to get hold of her and get her back to the hospital. Another friend, after dropping her daughter at her dads, which is a sizeable drive, fell asleep at the wheel on the way home, and ploughed into a great big heap of concrete. Busted ankle, ribs and some very impressive bruising. Jeepers. All I have is a sh!t exwife.
 

koshari

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Mar 24, 2011
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I wonder if anyone has an easy life? I did have from about 22 to 40, as casual as you like. But I digress. I have 1 friend who is recently separated. Like many the separation was a bit toilet and she struggled a bit when the going got tough. Compound that with 2 teenage daughters, hard enough on good days. Well the older of the 2 has Anorexia and has been battling for a few years. She is currently hospitalised. But she escaped last friday night, her mum saw her and it took her 3 hours following taxis and trams to get hold of her and get her back to the hospital. Another friend, after dropping her daughter at her dads, which is a sizeable drive, fell asleep at the wheel on the way home, and ploughed into a great big heap of concrete. Busted ankle, ribs and some very impressive bruising. Jeepers. All I have is a sh!t exwife.
Yeah i know a few good people who bad luck just seems to plague. I have had a pretty good run like yourself but i suspect theres a few challenges on the horizon regarding aging parents.
 

rickety

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Yeah i know a few good people who bad luck just seems to plague. I have had a pretty good run like yourself but i suspect theres a few challenges on the horizon regarding aging parents.
Lol yeah, but don't get me started on my dad!!! A few weeks ago at the end of whatever term it was, I asked him if he could pick my best little mate up from school as they were knocking off too early for me to get there. He told me he was getting his dog groomed. I said in my best East End gangster accent "course you are, no really" He said yep. I asked him what time and he said it was 1:30, my son finished school at 2:30. He said he didnt want to leave his dog waiting. It"s his birthday today, I had a present sent to him directly, I flipped a pineapple at the charity he nominated and my best little mate wrote and sent him a card. Not even a mention when I called to wish him Happy Birthday. He did mention his dog liked to watch the cars out the window. Which leaves me circling the classifieds of Aged Care facilities that I just may send him to.
 

koshari

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Mar 24, 2011
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Lol yeah, but don't get me started on my dad!!! A few weeks ago at the end of whatever term it was, I asked him if he could pick my best little mate up from school as they were knocking off too early for me to get there. He told me he was getting his dog groomed. I said in my best East End gangster accent "course you are, no really" He said yep. I asked him what time and he said it was 1:30, my son finished school at 2:30. He said he didnt want to leave his dog waiting. It"s his birthday today, I had a present sent to him directly, I flipped a pineapple at the charity he nominated and my best little mate wrote and sent him a card. Not even a mention when I called to wish him Happy Birthday. He did mention his dog liked to watch the cars out the window. Which leaves me circling the classifieds of Aged Care facilities that I just may send him to.
its sorta like the roles reverse a little bit from when your a kid and your old man was instructing you what to do and now you find yourself instructing him. had an interesting scenario recently when the power went out and dad needed to get the garage door open at his partners place, one of the blokes he has a beer with at happy our up at the golf club told him there is a manual lanyard you pull to disengage it.

so armed with this knowledge the old man wanders into the the garage and promptly ripps the remote aerial out of the door controller believing that was the lanyard, then rings me when the power comes back saying neither the remedy old mate suggested or the remote control work, i rock round and this is when i discover he has ripped the discreet tiny black wire that is the aerial out and tel him, then point out the bright red cord with a big handle on the end and a laminated label on it is the actual overide. he calmly replies "oh is that what that bit does?" . then its a 2 hour job for me to go get a ladder and tools to replace the aeirial wire. :-(


at least your dad looks to love his dog, we are dog people and like ours very much.
 

rickety

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its sorta like the roles reverse a little bit from when your a kid and your old man was instructing you what to do and now you find yourself instructing him. had an interesting scenario recently when the power went out and dad needed to get the garage door open at his partners place, one of the blokes he has a beer with at happy our up at the golf club told him there is a manual lanyard you pull to disengage it.

so armed with this knowledge the old man wanders into the the garage and promptly ripps the remote aerial out of the door controller believing that was the lanyard, then rings me when the power comes back saying neither the remedy old mate suggested or the remote control work, i rock round and this is when i discover he has ripped the discreet tiny black wire that is the aerial out and tel him, then point out the bright red cord with a big handle on the end and a laminated label on it is the actual overide. he calmly replies "oh is that what that bit does?" . then its a 2 hour job for me to go get a ladder and tools to replace the aeirial wire. :-(


at least your dad looks to love his dog, we are dog people and like ours very much.
Sure I like dogs :-D Just something in me reckons his grandson should be more important than the grooming of a dog that is gonna roll in the 1st muddy puddle it sees. Or even not more important, I reckon my little mate would have loved to go with Poppy to pick up the dog. Ah well.
 

Luke72

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Sure I like dogs :-D Just something in me reckons his grandson should be more important than the grooming of a dog that is gonna roll in the 1st muddy puddle it sees. Or even not more important, I reckon my little mate would have loved to go with Poppy to pick up the dog. Ah well.
Your kid is too good to roll in mud?!? Bloody millennials! 😉
 

rickety

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Your kid is too good to roll in mud?!? Bloody millennials! 😉
Lol no millennials in this house 🤣🤣 we take training cones down to Rye footy ground, put stubby holders on top of them and then start at each end shooting each other with nerf guns. Once your stubby holders are down it's game on, bullets flying everywhere. Not every week though, I am getting too old for soldiering 🤣🤣🤔
 

The acurate one

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So hope you fellow Vics survived the winds last night? It was brutal in the Dandenong Ranges. Lost power around 6:00pm and it didn't come back on until 11:30 am today.

it was a sobering start as I headed for Belgrave Safeway and came across the huge gum that had been uprooted. That happens but it fell straight onto a car and the driver died a few hours later. I did take a pic but won't post it , at first I didn't realise that was that spot someone had died. the flowers on the fence gave that away and the bits of smashed vehicle.

He was leaving the car park wtf? We are talking moments and everyday has plenty of moments. What brought him to be exactly at the wrong place at the wrong time, just fu**s with my head. I shop there and I can tell you that at around 6:00pm during covid it would been near deserted. So he wouldn't have been held up turning right, like in normal times.
Fate can be an evil b*tch at times.

No wonder I've thrown caution to the wind.
 

rickety

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So hope you fellow Vics survived the winds last night? It was brutal in the Dandenong Ranges. Lost power around 6:00pm and it didn't come back on until 11:30 am today.

it was a sobering start as I headed for Belgrave Safeway and came across the huge gum that had been uprooted. That happens but it fell straight onto a car and the driver died a few hours later. I did take a pic but won't post it , at first I didn't realise that was that spot someone had died. the flowers on the fence gave that away and the bits of smashed vehicle.

He was leaving the car park wtf? We are talking moments and everyday has plenty of moments. What brought him to be exactly at the wrong place at the wrong time, just fu**s with my head. I shop there and I can tell you that at around 6:00pm during covid it would been near deserted. So he wouldn't have been held up turning right, like in normal times.
Fate can be an evil b*tch at times.

No wonder I've thrown caution to the wind.
Fate can seem evil hey. But then there is always the flipside to it. I was still working when the weather hit down here yesterday afternoon. I witnessed, well, was 10m from a tree branch as it fell across the 2 lanes of a road, obviously blocking the road. Oncoming traffic was maybe 150m away and with the darkness and rain there was at least reasonable possibility of a crash about to happen. Anyway, I ducked out into the weather, made myself visible to the oncoming traffic, then had a few goes at removing the busted branch and all it's pieces. I got a couple of wound down window "thanks mate", got 1 of the lanes unblocked and then cleared the major debris once that initial bunch of traffic had moved on. Was still surprised by a couple of folk driving in pretty trying conditions without headlights on. But yeah, you'd be deadset scowling at St.Peter if you were to die that way.
 

Cassius01

Rookie
Jul 5, 2017
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Booze is such a hard one to tackle

I work in the wine industry - studied as a winemaker and spent several years doing long hours during vintage, i now work in fine wine retail to get a bit of life balance.

I still struggle with booze regularly. Spent some time a few years back with a psychologist, after getting to a point where I had no Shut off and would drink myself blind. On multiple occasions I had thrown up in my sleep only to wake up with no recollection of the previous night.

it’s probably been 14 months since I last passed out after a huge session which was my 30th birthday -saw some video footage where I was completely non compos and incoherent - was a real eye opener.

Our little fella is almost 2 now, and the wife has had a pretty difficult post natal time, she often goes to bed early with him - leaving me with little to do especially now covid has us limited in specific activities. I’ve been working pretty flat chat during this period but find I can’t really go 2-3 days without craving any form of drink. Thing is it’s not cheap sh*t or anything for the sake of it. I’ve setup a cellar with 12 dozen wines at a value of over $15k in the last 18 months and I’ll find that most nights I’ll drink half to a full bottle.

My body is accustomed to it now, but I’m just drained at the moment - little fella keeps us on our toes and with work busy I find I’m putting a few coffees away as well as a bunch of piss each day leading to fatigue and a lack of drive. Not by any means laziness, but I just find most tasks and things mundane unless they are now revolving around some form of eating and drinking.

this is more just me getting sh*t out of my mind
Booze is a difficult one indeed.
For 18 months I tried to treat my Depression and Aniexty with 6 to 10 pints of beer a night - needless to say, it didn't end well. The last week of Feb this year I lost my job, my home, and nearly took my own life - It was a phone call to lifeline that probably saved it.
I'm a massive advocate in people seeker professional help with their mental health, however when it came to myself, I viewed it as a weakness. I thought that at the age of 46 I should have my sh*t together and was ashamed of myself and the way I was feeling.
Its been six months now, six months today of sobriety, six months of reflection, six months of counselling and although I have a way to go, things are better. Im still searching for work, however volunteer with the Salvos a few days a week. I know I'll find work eventually.
I just wished I sort help earlier.
It would have prevented alot of unnecessary hurt for myself and the hurt I inflicted on others.
I will never drink again- I know it will kill me.
I share the above for one reason only; its ok not to be ok, but its not ok to suffer in silence. There is help is out there. Please don't minimise the importance of your mental health.
I dont really feel comfortable telling people that I was suicidal, however I know its important, because the more we talk about suicide, the less we'll hear about it.
 

Hojuman

조수미 사랑해요
May 20, 2012
14,078
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Seoul
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North Melbourne
Booze is a difficult one indeed.
For 18 months I tried to treat my Depression and Aniexty with 6 to 10 pints of beer a night - needless to say, it didn't end well. The last week of Feb this year I lost my job, my home, and nearly took my own life - It was a phone call to lifeline that probably saved it.
I'm a massive advocate in people seeker professional help with their mental health, however when it came to myself, I viewed it as a weakness. I thought that at the age of 46 I should have my sh*t together and was ashamed of myself and the way I was feeling.
Its been six months now, six months today of sobriety, six months of reflection, six months of counselling and although I have a way to go, things are better. Im still searching for work, however volunteer with the Salvos a few days a week. I know I'll find work eventually.
I just wished I sort help earlier.
It would have prevented alot of unnecessary hurt for myself and the hurt I inflicted on others.
I will never drink again- I know it will kill me.
I share the above for one reason only; its ok not to be ok, but its not ok to suffer in silence. There is help is out there. Please don't minimise the importance of your mental health.
I dont really feel comfortable telling people that I was suicidal, however I know its important, because the more we talk about suicide, the less we'll hear about it.


Good to hear you're back on track Cassius 👍 Hope the future brings all you desire and you enjoy the journey to get there.
 

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