Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

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darko

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 28, 2016
9,893
15,537
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Right so the report landed today, all the " sexual harassment " has been removed, doesn't get a mention other than to state it didn't happen. have mixed feelings about that tbh.

* Said it would be good for your career to come have a coffee with me- gone
* Walk into the gardens- gone
* Steps were put in place to stop my behaviours-gone
* Taking work of the complainant because she wouldn't date me- gone
* drinks after work offer- gone
* Looking at her backside- gone
* Sexual gesture- gone

The whole bloody case was built on sexual harassment, i wouldn't do it or did do it. But what they just go , "ok" ? Move on, sheesh I'd have thought you can't go around saying sh*te about people.

Anyways they've run with....

* Unwanted conversation and sharing of private information, which fyi wasn't sexual based nor was it unwanted
* asking her to dinner- wtf! - She offered and yeah I said ok, noting nothing happened and was the worst dinner I'd ever been on.
* Asking her for coffee- lol

So 50 odd thou later ( work paid), I find out late next week if there's further action to be taken. Word on the street is the decision makers don't think there's anything to it.

So it comes down to me to decide whether I suck it up, continue in a well paid job that allows ridiculous flexibility as in whether I do anything lol. Or I release the hounds from hell.

I will ponder over the weekend.

Thanks all , a bit anticlimactic I Must admit and i'd jumped the gun and got my own ankle monitor, cause that's what us sex offenders do.
I'd go on stress leave.
 

darko

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 28, 2016
9,893
15,537
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Been debating as to weather or not I should share this, but fu** it, I will.

Due to my panic disorder I was prescribed Xanax and other benzos, SSRI’s. It’s been about 6 years now and what started as .5mg of Xanax a day is now 4mg because of the tolerance buildup. Sometimes I take twice the prescribed amount. I went to a new psychiatrist who told me that he’s never seen anyone get better using those meds and eventually leads to respiratory failure with such high doses.

I have tried to go off cold turkey a few times, lasted about 3 and a bit weeks the last time but going off Xanax like that is potentially life threatening. Alcohol and benzo withdrawal are the only two that can kill you.

So, as of Monday I’ll be going into hospital to get off it safely. I just got the call from the hospital confirming that they have a spot for me. Could be a week, could be 3 weeks.

Feeling pretty positive about it but also worried that I’ll go back to what I was like before taking the meds. It sucks that something that gave me my life back won’t be available to me anymore. I have no idea what to expect.
Kick ass mate!!!
 

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The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
4,340
18,649
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well so here we are 3 months and one day after the allegations first surfaced. The sexual harassment is all gone as discussed previously, they stuffed up their dates very badly as I wasn't around for them. Hence the reason they were removed. Oh you can't remove them of course.

Now they did substantiate some absolute rubbish but while not official I've been told I won't be sacked. The Uni solicitors have looked over the case. I have been on the back foot for the last 3 months playing on a nasty seamer in fading light.

darko - Once I have the final determination I will look at my options. I do have six months sick leave up my sleeve. In football parlance I am well paid and I work for Brad Scott where winning isn't that important. I leave by about 3:30ish, try and get there as close to 8:00 as possible. It's an easy life with a defined benefit super paying a 17% contribution.

so I need to be careful, real careful. The thought of pissing off to a warmer climate does interest me. I'll see how this plays out. But yeah I'll be rolling up the sleeves somewhat. I will apply to get all the statements from the investigation and go from there, I feel they will be horrific reading.

It though has been 3 months of hell.




Funny thing just today I got from two colleagues...

Love your hair
looking good - very good.

Now normally I'd fire back with a " oh I so know ", today I looked away and felt anxious.


Thank you :)
 

Themanbun

Premiership Player
Apr 19, 2019
4,542
12,196
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Ha easier said than done, I do though have 900 odd hours of sick leave accumulated. Do I feel like taking on another fight. It seems I've spent the last two plus years fighting. I think I'd be better off sucking it up and looking at a redundancy in the near future. The Vic gov that I think should be hung from the town square could work in my favour. The University sector is still struggling and more redundancies are mooted.

Saw a job near enough to Hervey bay paying 165K and totally in my wheelhouse. I do like the sun , not so much toads, but yeah we've plenty of those in Vic anyways.

Well I'll find out my fate shortly. The world so needs to have a good look at itself. Sooner the better. I mean imagine the fishing, living in place of 50,000 people, imagine the single women when new blood arrives at the door... lol
Uni redundancies are usually pretty phat, too. I say hang out for that and maybe take some sick leave to rest up. You do have a condition so you need to take care of yourself brother.
 

darko

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 28, 2016
9,893
15,537
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well so here we are 3 months and one day after the allegations first surfaced. The sexual harassment is all gone as discussed previously, they stuffed up their dates very badly as I wasn't around for them. Hence the reason they were removed. Oh you can't remove them of course.

Now they did substantiate some absolute rubbish but while not official I've been told I won't be sacked. The Uni solicitors have looked over the case. I have been on the back foot for the last 3 months playing on a nasty seamer in fading light.

darko - Once I have the final determination I will look at my options. I do have six months sick leave up my sleeve. In football parlance I am well paid and I work for Brad Scott where winning isn't that important. I leave by about 3:30ish, try and get there as close to 8:00 as possible. It's an easy life with a defined benefit super paying a 17% contribution.

so I need to be careful, real careful. The thought of pissing off to a warmer climate does interest me. I'll see how this plays out. But yeah I'll be rolling up the sleeves somewhat. I will apply to get all the statements from the investigation and go from there, I feel they will be horrific reading.

It though has been 3 months of hell.




Funny thing just today I got from two colleagues...

Love your hair
looking good - very good.

Now normally I'd fire back with a " oh I so know ", today I looked away and felt anxious.


Thank you :)
If you went down stress leave path they wouldn't be able to touch you as long as you go through your GP. It'd be a very brave manager to question it.
 

The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
4,340
18,649
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Thanks and I was going to answer all individually, but it's still so overwhelming & you're all correct. Of course stress nearly killed me on Dec 11 2019 and that is fact and I'm not ashamed to say that.
Have the MRI and documentation.

Once I told them that as clearly they'd done no due diligence as were to busy organising the gallows for a dawn lynching. They have sh*t themselves.

So it will be interesting, for the first time i feel it's a flat track the sun is shining and I'm striding to the wicket at 2/467. Of course the ball could start reversing 🤦‍♂️
 

DarkPhoenix

Cont-Roo-Versial
May 26, 2009
34,661
41,226
Hobart, Tasmania
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
ManCity, Cardinals, Avalanche
If you went down stress leave path they wouldn't be able to touch you as long as you go through your GP. It'd be a very brave manager to question it.
They can still make your life hell.

My employer took me to arbitration claiming they weren't liable to pay me my wage when I was on stress leave. They did this well after I'd come back from leave and yep, I had doctors certificates, tests from their own designated workplace physios/psychs etc.

Luckily for me they didn't bring any kind of evidence to the table during arbitration and it was thrown out. But the couple of months stressing over potentially having to pay back that much money, while I was already in a pretty vulnerable place was horrendous.
 

Lomas

Premium Platinum
Nov 4, 2020
1,698
4,016
AFL Club
North Melbourne
They can still make your life hell.

My employer took me to arbitration claiming they weren't liable to pay me my wage when I was on stress leave. They did this well after I'd come back from leave and yep, I had doctors certificates, tests from their own designated workplace physios/psychs etc.

Luckily for me they didn't bring any kind of evidence to the table during arbitration and it was thrown out. But the couple of months stressing over potentially having to pay back that much money, while I was already in a pretty vulnerable place was horrendous.
That sounds harsh mate, sorry you had to go through it. In this case, with 900 hours of personal/sick leave, I would hope that TAO wouldn't have to deal with it for at least that period.
 

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Bell End

Team Captain
Sep 13, 2014
507
1,576
Brisbane
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Poole pirates
I haven't posted on big footy in ages and even so when I did it was rare. But for some reason this thread just popped into my mind.
I ln April I made 2 attempts on my life but failed both times. I learned lessons from those attempts and last night was ready to go again using above mentioned lessons to make sure I did it "right" this time. As I was ready to go my 14 rear old son called me randomly and that stopped me. I went to sleep and when I woke up things were in a better perspective. As they day has gone on I've slipped further down. But know if I breathe and think my kids I'll be ok.
I didn't post this here for any other reason than it's anonymous, I love North and I hope we can build a dynasty.
 

Hojuman

조수미 사랑해요
May 20, 2012
14,756
41,340
Seoul
AFL Club
North Melbourne
I haven't posted on big footy in ages and even so when I did it was rare. But for some reason this thread just popped into my mind.
I ln April I made 2 attempts on my life but failed both times. I learned lessons from those attempts and last night was ready to go again using above mentioned lessons to make sure I did it "right" this time. As I was ready to go my 14 rear old son called me randomly and that stopped me. I went to sleep and when I woke up things were in a better perspective. As they day has gone on I've slipped further down. But know if I breathe and think my kids I'll be ok.
I didn't post this here for any other reason than it's anonymous, I love North and I hope we can build a dynasty.

We'll build that dynasty Bell and we need you around to cheer it on. Keep posting. Hear to listen 👍
 

gokangas

Premium Platinum
Jan 16, 2004
34,729
21,645
Melbourne
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
Storm - Victory
I haven't posted on big footy in ages and even so when I did it was rare. But for some reason this thread just popped into my mind.
I ln April I made 2 attempts on my life but failed both times. I learned lessons from those attempts and last night was ready to go again using above mentioned lessons to make sure I did it "right" this time. As I was ready to go my 14 rear old son called me randomly and that stopped me. I went to sleep and when I woke up things were in a better perspective. As they day has gone on I've slipped further down. But know if I breathe and think my kids I'll be ok.
I didn't post this here for any other reason than it's anonymous, I love North and I hope we can build a dynasty.
Hey mate - sorry to hear you have some challenges. Get help. There are people that can help you through the dark times. Do it. We need every NMFC supporter we have so you are important to us all. Try the professional people, mate. They will help you.
 

rickety

Premium Gold
Nov 3, 2007
7,368
15,188
Postmans' Reef
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
swfc, carrum cowboys
I haven't posted on big footy in ages and even so when I did it was rare. But for some reason this thread just popped into my mind.
I ln April I made 2 attempts on my life but failed both times. I learned lessons from those attempts and last night was ready to go again using above mentioned lessons to make sure I did it "right" this time. As I was ready to go my 14 rear old son called me randomly and that stopped me. I went to sleep and when I woke up things were in a better perspective. As they day has gone on I've slipped further down. But know if I breathe and think my kids I'll be ok.
I didn't post this here for any other reason than it's anonymous, I love North and I hope we can build a dynasty.
Mate the best reason on the world to still be here is your kids. But not just for them, just to help them out, or watch them grow and watch them do stuff, but to sit back with a beer a bit later on, and say to yourself, "jeepers he's turned into a decent bloke" or everything similar. Life chucks us curve balls, but keep swinging at them, ride out the tide and then sit back and enjoy the life of your kids. I reckon if he is giving you a call for a chat, then he'd be the hardest hit if you weren't there to call, and that, my never before met friend, would be a bloody sad day for your best little mate. Besides, there is nobody more like him than you, and there never will be. Until he has a boy of his own. And strike me rotten if you don't wanna be there for that day. Be well mate :)
 

The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
4,340
18,649
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well howdy good people of BF,

Today i was found not guilty of everything they had thrown at me . And I'm as flat as a sh*t carters hat, not sure why tbh?
It could be due to the realisation that people will talk smack about you without a care in the world. I cannot imagine a situation where I'd make sh*t up about anyone.

OH fyi i'm well smashed lol
 

Ligma

Airhead
Dec 15, 2020
3,636
6,192
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well howdy good people of BF,

Today i was found not guilty of everything they had thrown at me . And I'm as flat as a sh*t carters hat, not sure why tbh?
It could be due to the realisation that people will talk smack about you without a care in the world. I cannot imagine a situation where I'd make sh*t up about anyone.

OH fyi i'm well smashed lol
I’m so proud of you.

It’s because people are so insecure within themselves that they have to do something as disgusting as that to get ‘revenge’.
 

rickety

Premium Gold
Nov 3, 2007
7,368
15,188
Postmans' Reef
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
swfc, carrum cowboys
Well howdy good people of BF,

Today i was found not guilty of everything they had thrown at me . And I'm as flat as a sh*t carters hat, not sure why tbh?
It could be due to the realisation that people will talk smack about you without a care in the world. I cannot imagine a situation where I'd make sh*t up about anyone.

OH fyi i'm well smashed lol
Flip em the bird mate, move to Hervey Bay before we get locked down again. As I mentioned previously, you "winning" just entitles you to "as you were". I reckon feeling flat is bang on the money tbh. Shake your head, call her a cnut, but not where she can hear, then knuckle down and get back to life. Also, keep a note of those who doubted/accused you. They can gagf too. Book an Uber eats brekky burger for the morning before you forget :-D One less worry mate, tomorrow is already a better day.
 

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