Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

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Val Keating

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 27, 2017
14,572
31,396
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Val Keating hope you're tracking well mate.

Ligma, hope things are on the up.

To all BF folk, thinking of ya in these still crazy times and hope you and your loved ones all doing well as possible.
Thanks mate. I’m continuing with group therapy as an out patient, starting tomorrow. Was surprised by how much it helped me.
 

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Val Keating

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 27, 2017
14,572
31,396
AFL Club
North Melbourne
There can never be enough Tom Petty, IMO.
The lyrics are perfect for battling inner demons


“Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
No, I'll stand my ground
Won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Well I know what's right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
No, I won't back down”
 

Contra Mundum

To Know Nothing is the Happiest Life
Aug 1, 2002
22,595
10,148
North Melbourne
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Other Teams
NMFC
The lyrics are perfect for battling inner demons


“Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down
No, I'll stand my ground
Won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Well I know what's right
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground
And I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I won't back down
(I won't back down)
Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out
(I won't back down)
Hey, I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
No, I won't back down”
The Johnny Cash version on that first American Recordings album totally slaps
 

Val Keating

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 27, 2017
14,572
31,396
AFL Club
North Melbourne
With the recent withdrawal of Simone Biles due to mental health reasons, it is a timely reminder to check up on your own mental health and to help others struggling during these tough times of COVID.
I have followed Biles with my daughters for a few years, all three of us in awe of what she did. She’s an inspiration. So when recently she came forward with her mental health struggle, her bravery allowed me to have the conversation with my girls about mental health issues. I have dreaded having that conversation for a while but it made it easier. I didn’t tell them about my situation but I think I managed to build an understanding with them that mental health is just another type of illness that some people have to live with, no matter how good their life might seem.
 

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The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
4,752
20,031
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well I'm fu**en angry it's my daughters 24th birthday tomorrow and just like last year we'll be in lockdown and I won't be able to see her. I just don't understand those that don't understand what being forced to live in isolation means or is like . Anywho i'm also angry about an article i found online which was clearly written about my recent case. It's by the investigator assigned to me or us I suppose.



"Why can’t I be a secret witness? Confidential vs anonymous in workplace investigations"

It's thrown me somewhat, it was published not long after my findings were handed down which of course were all unfounded. The way i read it seems to be that witnesses were scared to come forward. Whereas I saw it and spoke to the Uni about it afterwards was that you seem to state that any evidence given will remain confidential. So basically you're giving the complainant's witnesses a free hit, just not on.
The Uni has amended their policy to state what happens when evidence is contradictory. I left school after yr 10 I honestly thought intelligent people well are intelligent.


So yeah finding myself in a bit of a loop currently. Would like anyone's opinion should you read the article.
 

Themanbun

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 19, 2019
5,025
13,627
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well I'm fu**en angry it's my daughters 24th birthday tomorrow and just like last year we'll be in lockdown and I won't be able to see her. I just don't understand those that don't understand what being forced to live in isolation means or is like . Anywho i'm also angry about an article i found online which was clearly written about my recent case. It's by the investigator assigned to me or us I suppose.



"Why can’t I be a secret witness? Confidential vs anonymous in workplace investigations"

It's thrown me somewhat, it was published not long after my findings were handed down which of course were all unfounded. The way i read it seems to be that witnesses were scared to come forward. Whereas I saw it and spoke to the Uni about it afterwards was that you seem to state that any evidence given will remain confidential. So basically you're giving the complainant's witnesses a free hit, just not on.
The Uni has amended their policy to state what happens when evidence is contradictory. I left school after yr 10 I honestly thought intelligent people well are intelligent.


So yeah finding myself in a bit of a loop currently. Would like anyone's opinion should you read the article.
As much as you may have your reasons for disliking who wrote it, I have to admit it is a pretty reasonable article. It's a well established principle that evidence needs to be tested and the person who has been alleged to have engaged in misconduct needs the opportunity to be able to test that evidence. An investigator should always put the allegation to you, and then in court you generally can't lead evidence in court that you haven't put to a witness or person earlier in the proceeding. It's a well established principle of procedural fairness and natural justice.

Workplace investigators should never tell witnesses that they can be anonymous for this reason.

The comment about witnesses being reluctant to come forward because they can't be anonymous, and that they may fear retaliation in workplace investigations I don't think you should take personally mate. It's not a very controversial opinion and is a consistent theme across workplace investigations and I daresay all investigations in general. The only thing I would suggest could be different in the article is that another motivator for witnesses demanding anonymity (and withdrawing from the process because they can't be anonymous) is that they just may not want their evidence tested. The commitment to procedural fairness and natural justice is important.

Anyway, it sounds like in your case the evidence was respected and the outcome reflected the evidence that was procedurally fair. That's how the system should work, whether it's a court case for murder or a workplace investigation for stealing a paperclip.
 

The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
4,752
20,031
AFL Club
North Melbourne
As much as you may have your reasons for disliking who wrote it, I have to admit it is a pretty reasonable article. It's a well established principle that evidence needs to be tested and the person who has been alleged to have engaged in misconduct needs the opportunity to be able to test that evidence. An investigator should always put the allegation to you, and then in court you generally can't lead evidence in court that you haven't put to a witness or person earlier in the proceeding. It's a well established principle of procedural fairness and natural justice.

Workplace investigators should never tell witnesses that they can be anonymous for this reason.

The comment about witnesses being reluctant to come forward because they can't be anonymous, and that they may fear retaliation in workplace investigations I don't think you should take personally mate. It's not a very controversial opinion and is a consistent theme across workplace investigations and I daresay all investigations in general. The only thing I would suggest could be different in the article is that another motivator for witnesses demanding anonymity (and withdrawing from the process because they can't be anonymous) is that they just may not want their evidence tested. The commitment to procedural fairness and natural justice is important.

Anyway, it sounds like in your case the evidence was respected and the outcome reflected the evidence that was procedurally fair. That's how the system should work, whether it's a court case for murder or a workplace investigation for stealing a paperclip.
Oh trust you TMB to comeback with a well worded response, i suppose my point was the Uni states in their man hating kill all you campaigners document that your evidence will be confidential. So basically you have a free hit if you've an axe to grind. I'll in the next few days dig out what they said about me. It's appalling and yeah ...

Edit; People that dont like me lied ( who wouldn't like me ? lol) and when they realised I'd find out who said what they backed out. I was accused of doing sh*t when I was at home recovering my stroke.

The Uni solicitor sh*t herself when she saw the evidence ( I know that) , i should sue as I'd win in a canter but it goes against my beliefs. I've asked for the statements via Freedom of information. The Uni would settle real quick I'd suggest due to the harassment factor.
 
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Themanbun

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 19, 2019
5,025
13,627
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Oh trust you TMB to comeback with a well worded response, i suppose my point was the Uni states in their man hating kill all you campaigners document that your evidence will be confidential. So basically you have a free hit if you've an axe to grind. I'll in the next few days dig out what they said about me. It's appalling and yeah ...
Yep, I understand. I took the article as a bit of an approach to explaining to witnesses that confidentiality isn't anonymity.

Perhaps those kind of policies at workplaces have led to confusion among witnesses that the investigator had to straighten out and explain, e.g. people being under the misapprehension that they will be anonymous, when confidential really means that it won't be disclosed to other witnesses or non-parties to the investigation, but may be disclosed to complainant and respondent.

The person who wrote this article seemed to be placing importance on distinguishing the two concepts to witnesses so they know what they're getting into before giving a statement. If they didn't do that, they may have had people lining up for a free swing who would have taken it unless they found out it would have to be disclosed to the respondent.
 
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The acurate one

Premiership Player
Jan 23, 2019
4,752
20,031
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Yep, I understand. I took the article as a bit of an approach to explaining to witnesses that confidentiality isn't anonymity.

Perhaps those kind of policies at workplaces have led to confusion among witnesses that the investigator had to straighten out and explain, e.g. people being under the misapprehension that they will be anonymous, when confidential really means that it won't be disclosed to other witnesses or non-parties to the investigation, but may be disclosed to complainant and respondent.

The person who wrote this article seemed to be placing importance on distinguishing the two concepts to witnesses so they know what they're getting into before giving a statement. If they didn't do that, they may have had people lining up for a free swing who didn't end up going through with it once they found out it would have to be disclosed to the respondent.
TBH and that is exactly what happened. So had the Uni been half smart they wouldn't have wasted north of 50K. FYI the investigator and I had many a late evening chat, I was treated fairly by her. i didn't agree with all of her findings but was relieved when she stated there was no sexual harrassment.

I suppose my point is that I wish the article stated that if you say it you best be prepared to back it or you're facing vexatious claims.
 

Luke72

Premium Platinum
Aug 21, 2012
5,083
11,206
AFL Club
North Melbourne
TBH and that is exactly what happened. So had the Uni been half smart they wouldn't have wasted north of 50K. FYI the investigator and I had many a late evening chat, I was treated fairly by her. i didn't agree with all of her findings but was relieved when she stated there was no sexual harrassment.

I suppose my point is that I wish the article stated that if you say it you best be prepared to back it or you're facing vexatious claims.
You guy's are clearly smarter than me but I am surprised by the fact that the confidentiality really means SFA. The article makes it seem as if it is just a term used to elicit a statement from people who otherwise wouldn't give them. It seems like they encourage people to dob then put them on the spot, bizarre!
 

Ligma

Dilf lover
Dec 15, 2020
5,578
9,658
AFL Club
North Melbourne
I decided to do something that will bring back a lot of memories of the time I went though trauma, I knew I will get anxious and need to cry but I want to regain what I once loved.

music

I have bad memories attached to a certain genre. I finally feel like I can reclaim what I enjoyed
 

Hojuman

조수미 사랑해요
May 20, 2012
15,738
44,373
Seoul
AFL Club
North Melbourne
I decided to do something that will bring back a lot of memories of the time I went though trauma, I knew I will get anxious and need to cry but I want to regain what I once loved.

music

I have bad memories attached to a certain genre. I finally feel like I can reclaim what I enjoyed

Music a great " soother " Lots of genre's out there Liggy, you might find your tastes change as you age. Have you perused the " what are you listening to " thread in Lidges Lounge ? Start at post 1. You'll find some good stuff ❤
 

Ligma

Dilf lover
Dec 15, 2020
5,578
9,658
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Music a great " soother " Lots of genre's out there Liggy, you might find your tastes change as you age. Have you perused the " what are you listening to " thread in Lidges Lounge ? Start at post 1. You'll find some good stuff ❤
I know what music I’m in to, just when I try to listen to a certain genre it brings back memories of a certain period of my life which I never wish happened❤ Thanks bestie
 

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