Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

[LuvtheKangas]

My name is CrazyQ...and I'm an addict.

Some of you may remember me, some of you may not.

I was a frequent poster on this board but due to a divorce I was struggling with over 10 years ago, I stupidly developed an ice addiction that I regret every ******* day.

The thing that ate at me was the fact that if I hadn't of told you personally that I was using, you wouldn't have known.

I wasn't and I am not the typical "throw 3 doctors against the wall, break through safe glass and have the violent tendencies of an animal". The majority of those 10 years I kept my family and friends at bay trying not to involve them with anything ice related...which only created a division and barrier.

That barrier (eg: not wanting my close family and friends seeing me while I was 'on' or coming down) caused a lot of strained relationships that I'm hoping I can unstrain and a few relationships I don't think I can recover, unfortunately.

If you're asking what I've been up to...I'm studying to be a counsellor and pass on what I know and went through...maybe that's the full circle completed?

They say things happen for a reason, well let's ******* hope so

To my fellow North brothers and sisters, keep ya head up, there's always light.

I've always loved this poem by Pac, but it resonates even more.

Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

Tupac.


Love.

Welcome back, Qman. What you have been through sounds absolutely harrowing, but it sounds like you've come through it and are almost out the other side. Looking forward to seeing you here regularly again.

 

[rickety]

My name is CrazyQ...and I'm an addict.

Some of you may remember me, some of you may not.

I was a frequent poster on this board but due to a divorce I was struggling with over 10 years ago, I stupidly developed an ice addiction that I regret every ******* day.

The thing that ate at me was the fact that if I hadn't of told you personally that I was using, you wouldn't have known.

I wasn't and I am not the typical "throw 3 doctors against the wall, break through safe glass and have the violent tendencies of an animal". The majority of those 10 years I kept my family and friends at bay trying not to involve them with anything ice related...which only created a division and barrier.

That barrier (eg: not wanting my close family and friends seeing me while I was 'on' or coming down) caused a lot of strained relationships that I'm hoping I can unstrain and a few relationships I don't think I can recover, unfortunately.

If you're asking what I've been up to...I'm studying to be a counsellor and pass on what I know and went through...maybe that's the full circle completed?

They say things happen for a reason, well let's ******* hope so

To my fellow North brothers and sisters, keep ya head up, there's always light.

I've always loved this poem by Pac, but it resonates even more.

Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

Tupac.


Love.

Bloody hell, welcome back mate

We all have a path to walk, sometimes we just don't see it, or wonder who in tarnations is giving directions.

I must be getting old, I thought Tupac was spray paint

A line from a Levellers song ..... "far away is close at hand"

 

[TheRealCrazyQ]

More strength to ya brother!

I did wonder if there was more to your disappearance (inbetween our odd exchange every now and then) than just the divorce.

Hope you’re back on track CQ. You’re a top bloke, you’re still young, and you have a whole blank canvas to paint whatever future you desire on ahead.

Msg me anytime mate.

One of the realest, TT.

Thanks mate, that truly means a lot.

You've never deviated from the bloke I first met, that's a rare quality, one I've always admired and hope to replicate.

Love.

 

[TheRealCrazyQ]

Welcome back, Qman. What you have been through sounds absolutely harrowing, but it sounds like you've come through it and are almost out the other side. Looking forward to seeing you here regularly again.

LtK, my guy.

Thanks. I appreciate that, for real.

 

[Ligma]

I hope the reason that no one’s posting in here is because everyone is doing well!

I hope everyone has a wonderful & safe Christmas, with family or not, you are valued and worthy

 

[year of the roo]

Hey Q, saw your post in another thread and wondered if it was really you so I thought I'd see what else you'd been posting. Hadn't checked this thread. Good to see you back and hear you're doing better. Divorce is s**t. I really underestimated that one.

 

[TheRealCrazyQ]

Hey Q, saw your post in another thread and wondered if it was really you so I thought I'd see what else you'd been posting. Hadn't checked this thread. Good to see you back and hear you're doing better. Divorce is s**t. I really underestimated that one.

Thanks mate.

It's good to be back and it's great to see you still around, homie.

 

[Cyber_punk]

I had been putting it off for a while but actually booked an appointment with my dr next week in the hope I can get put on Nardil. Have heard a lot of positive feedback about how it "obliterated" people's anxiety/depression and turned their lives around. Nice to have some hope. The only thing is, I read that it can be tricky to get ahold of due to shortages, stubborn doctors, and lazy pharmicists who don't want to go through the hassle ordering shipments from Generic Health Australia/Medsurge. Hope I don't have to jump through so many hoops.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

I had been putting it off for a while but actually booked an appointment with my dr next week in the hope I can get put on Nardil. Have heard a lot of positive feedback about how it "obliterated" people's anxiety/depression and turned their lives around. Nice to have some hope. The only thing is, I read that it can be tricky to get ahold of due to shortages, stubborn doctors, and lazy pharmicists who don't want to go through the hassle ordering shipments from Generic Health Australia/Medsurge. Hope I don't have to jump through so many hoops.

Honestly don't know much about Phenelzine. As you say it's not really stocked by a lot of pharmacys.

Did a quick 2 min read and read you shouldn't eat cheese while on it

Hope it all goes well for you. Have you tried all the conventional meds and this is an out of the box trial?

 

[Cyber_punk]

Honestly don't know much about Phenelzine. As you say it's not really stocked by a lot of pharmacys.

Did a quick 2 min read and read you shouldn't eat cheese while on it

Hope it all goes well for you. Have you tried all the conventional meds and this is an out of the box trial?

Thanks, I have tried Zoloft twice before. First time 8-9 years ago helped. Second time 2 years ago helped the depression somewhat but not the anxiety.

I don't eat a whole lot of cheese or fermented food anyway so that part doesn't worry me ha.

 

[Cyber_punk]

Well after basically pleading with my doctor she said she couldn't find enough info on Nardil and it's side effects on the computer gp system she uses so she asked me to give her a week for her to learn more about it and it's side effects, and go in for another appointment next week. She said she wasn't comfortable prescribing it yet even though I said I don't care if it gives me cancer if it gets rid of this anxiety please I'm willing it's on the bloody PBS.

I don't really blame her, she has a duty of care, but special shout out to the government for making it deliberately hard to gain info on what could be a life saving drug. Oh, and of course now paying for 2 appointments with no bulk, who can forget that. Really well done LNP and ALP, truly taking this healthcare system in bold new direction. /s

I'll just keep my hopes low and prepare for her to still say no next time, can't be disappointed that way right?

 

[Shinboner1]

Struggle day today

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Struggle day today

Happy to take a pm and chat/vent if you’re feeling up to it.

 

[Hojuman]

Struggle day today

Put your thoughts here S1. Plenty of willing listeners.

 

[Cyber_punk]

I didn't get my Nardil...my GP just palmed me off to a specialist who will no doubt charge hundreds of dollars to keep having me back as a patient.

So * it...benzos and cough syrup are a pretty good substitute in the meantime. Don't worry only small doses and mixtures. Feel like a rastafarian hippie actually. Very relaxing indeed.

 

[Val Keating]

I didn't get my Nardil...my GP just palmed me off to a specialist who will no doubt charge hundreds of dollars to keep having me back as a patient.

So * it...benzos and cough syrup are a pretty good substitute in the meantime. Don't worry only small doses and mixtures. Feel like a rastafarian hippie actually. Very relaxing indeed.

Be careful with the benzos. They sneak up on you and they are extremely addictive. They gave me my life back, but getting off them was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 1000% harder than quitting smoking which I have also done.

 

[Cyber_punk]

Be careful with the benzos. They sneak up on you and they are extremely addictive. They gave me my life back, but getting off them was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 1000% harder than quitting smoking which I have also done.

All good, had them a couple times before a few years ago, never got addicted. Only use it rarely for rainy days.

 

[HELLSBELLS]

Life really is swings and roundabouts.

I wasn't very well a fair while ago but scratched and crawled and fought to get to a good place and up until Tuesday that was the case. Was the best i had been in a long long time.

Then like the universe didn't like it i get hammer hit with the loss of my job and almost instantly i feel so anxious and scared and flat i cant describe it.

All those months of building myself back up almost crushed in 10 seconds.

I'm glad i have the tools to get up off the canvas now but geez its going to be another shitty time doing so.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Life really is swings and roundabouts.

I wasn't very well a fair while ago but scratched and crawled and fought to get to a good place and up until Tuesday that was the case. Was the best i had been in a long long time.

Then like the universe didn't like it i get hammer hit with the loss of my job and almost instantly i feel so anxious and scared and flat i cant describe it.

All those months of building myself back up almost crushed in 10 seconds.

I'm glad i have the tools to get up off the canvas now but geez its going to be another shitty time doing so.

Life can really suck at times HB and I wish you well with your bounce back.

I haven’t lost my job but have felt defeated at times over the past couple of months, supporting a family with one now in private school and receiving income sporadically rather than on a regular weekly basis. All out of my hands and there’s an end to this current malaise in sight but it’s not nice knowing you have zero access to funds with all accounts beyond their limits.

Chin up mate and sorry to read of your travails.

In the younger years I remember resigning from good jobs just to ensure I could watch every minute of the Olympics, without a care in the world. Geez times have changed!

 

[rickety]

Life can really suck at times HB and I wish you well with your bounce back.

I haven’t lost my job but have felt defeated at times over the past couple of months, supporting a family with one now in private school and receiving income sporadically rather than on a regular weekly basis. All out of my hands and there’s an end to this current malaise in sight but it’s not nice knowing you have zero access to funds with all accounts beyond their limits.

Chin up mate and sorry to read of your travails.

In the younger years I remember resigning from good jobs just to ensure I could watch every minute of the Olympics, without a care in the world. Geez times have changed!

The 1st job I got in 93 in London it took me nearly an hour to get into work - I lived a little out of town. I thought "I'm bloody not doing this every day". So when I arrived, I promptly resigned

 

[Mordecai]

Just before Christmas I got a health report that looked very bad. With no specialists around at the time it was a long and scary wait. After expecting to hear the worst I was thankfully told my condition was benign and should resolve itself in a few months/years.

My birthday is coming up (turning 36) and someone chimed in I was turning 50 (well intentioned, all good). One bloke (also my age) stuck the knife in though by play acting he couldn't believe I was turning 50, over and over again ("you're turning 50?! 50!"). Usually something like that wouldn't bother me but after the health scare its really got to me. I should have thicker skin but feel quite sad now - I guess because life is so short for all of us. I think after you've had a scare like that you feel quite vulnerable, exposed. On top of that, after a tough few months, I look and feel terrible, adding insult to injury. I feel so drained.

 

[LuvtheKangas]

Just before Christmas I got a health report that looked very bad. With no specialists around at the time it was a long and scary wait. After expecting to hear the worst I was thankfully told my condition was benign and should resolve itself in a few months/years.

My birthday is coming up (turning 36) and someone chimed in I was turning 50 (well intentioned, all good). One bloke (also my age) stuck the knife in though by play acting he couldn't believe I was turning 50, over and over again ("you're turning 50?! 50!"). Usually something like that wouldn't bother me but after the health scare its really got to me. I should have thicker skin but feel quite sad now - I guess because life is so short for all of us. I think after you've had a scare like that you feel quite vulnerable, exposed. On top of that, after a tough few months, I look and feel terrible, adding insult to injury. I feel so drained.

Keep the chin up, mate. The health prognosis is more positive than it might otherwise have been, so there's something to feel good about.

You mate was doing the normal bloke thing of pulling the p!ss and although insensitive given what you've been through, it wasn't malicious. If you weren't vulnerable and drained, I expect you would have given it back twice as hard.

Take the time to heal and focus on the positives. You'll find there are plenty.

 

[rickety]

Just before Christmas I got a health report that looked very bad. With no specialists around at the time it was a long and scary wait. After expecting to hear the worst I was thankfully told my condition was benign and should resolve itself in a few months/years.

My birthday is coming up (turning 36) and someone chimed in I was turning 50 (well intentioned, all good). One bloke (also my age) stuck the knife in though by play acting he couldn't believe I was turning 50, over and over again ("you're turning 50?! 50!"). Usually something like that wouldn't bother me but after the health scare its really got to me. I should have thicker skin but feel quite sad now - I guess because life is so short for all of us. I think after you've had a scare like that you feel quite vulnerable, exposed. On top of that, after a tough few months, I look and feel terrible, adding insult to injury. I feel so drained.

You'll be right mate. You've had a few months on a dirt track, someone's just gone by hooting their horn, but sounds like your back to cruising lifes' highway. I started playing footy again at 35, give that a go. FWIW, I went and played a year and a half of reserves footy when I was 40, chasing around younger blokes - don't do that A few sunny days will perk you up, a couple of frothies for your birthday, then chow down on a four n twenty pie - they're packed full of yummy goodness and all of the preservatives one needs to get by in this fast paced action packed world. A health scare is better than a health problem, no offence to all in Sunbury. Eat some oranges, they're good for you and yummy to boot. And, now that I am a little beyond it, 50 ain't so bad

 

[Mordecai]

You'll be right mate. You've had a few months on a dirt track, someone's just gone by hooting their horn, but sounds like your back to cruising lifes' highway. I started playing footy again at 35, give that a go. FWIW, I went and played a year and a half of reserves footy when I was 40, chasing around younger blokes - don't do that A few sunny days will perk you up, a couple of frothies for your birthday, then chow down on a four n twenty pie - they're packed full of yummy goodness and all of the preservatives one needs to get by in this fast paced action packed world. A health scare is better than a health problem, no offence to all in Sunbury. Eat some oranges, they're good for you and yummy to boot. And, now that I am a little beyond it, 50 ain't so bad

Keep the chin up, mate. The health prognosis is more positive than it might otherwise have been, so there's something to feel good about.

You mate was doing the normal bloke thing of pulling the p!ss and although insensitive given what you've been through, it wasn't malicious. If you weren't vulnerable and drained, I expect you would have given it back twice as hard.

Take the time to heal and focus on the positives. You'll find there are plenty.

Thanks so much guys.
I think writing it down and hearing it back has helped shift my perspective. I'm very lucky and it was all in jest. The mind plays tricks on you, particularly when you're down. Glad we have places like this to share.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Thanks so much guys.
I think writing it down and hearing it back has helped shift my perspective. I'm very lucky and it was all in jest. The mind plays tricks on you, particularly when you're down. Glad we have places like this to share.

As I know all too well, there’s a period of shock and negative thinking in the wake of a major health scare/diagnosis before you take stock and refocus on what lies ahead. All the best to you Mordecai.