Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

[discomute]

Just wanted to say that you should not take your work's BS behaviour personally... far too common these days... they do it because they are paranoid about other workers deciding to rort the system. So they fight and carry on so they can make out like it is easier to walk away then claim a dollar off them. Very poor but legal.

 

[blackshadow]

Fabulous post DP and best of luck managing your demons. Sounds like you're on the right track.

I've known too many people (one is too many) who haven't been able to manage depression/anxiety and are no longer with us. Hopefully your words may be a wake up call for someone and it will help them find a path back to a happy life.

 

[the big lebowski]

Hi

If I can say anything on this issue its that talking to people about your problems is the only way to feel better. I suffered anxiety of a very specific type, in fact I still do.

Talking to people about your problem can be half of the battle because then you don't feel like you need to hide it. Which lowers anxiety in of itself.

 

[truerooboy]

Thought I'd share this here due to the huge number of people on BF I had noticed suffering with mental health issues recently (me included).

Mods feel free to delete if not okay.

Depression/Anxiety

Long post ahead.

I've seen a lot of posts around lately regarding mental illness, so thought I'd chip in and share my experience.

A lot of you would not realise but recently I have been battling significant issues with Adjustment/Social Anxiety. I had experienced the symptoms for years and never been "diagnosed" as such, so it was good to be able to pinpoint and give a name to something that had troubled me for years- why I hated eating around people, why I often didn't respond to people saying things for fear of saying the wrong thing, the hours spent thinking over what people thought about me and my inate desire for everyone to like me and anxious feeling when I found out someone disliked me.

Prior to this point I had had... a few... issues with my workplace. Unrealistic expectations, ever increasing workloads, a confrontational role which basically consisted of being yelled at for 9 hours a day with little to no downtime were among some of the easiest to explain issues, there were so many more I have not named.
Combine this with the workplace itself refusing to address the issues that were repeatedly brought forward by their work force and choosing to turn a blind eye to practices which were completely destroying the morale and health of their workers (went from 150 to 75 staff and had multiple people off on stress leave in under a year and this apparently was normal)and it was a horrible time for me.

I had no energy, I put on a LOT of weight (which I had just recently got to a good place), I constantly got sick, I didn't want to do anything when I finished work except for sleep or watch TV, my friendships suffered and overall I just felt useless and miserable.

It got to the point where I could barely function and it finally hit a point where I got to work and literally could not comprehend sentences I was reading although they were simple things I dealt with every day in my work life and started getting a scary tunnel vision effect where I couldn't see things in my peripheral.
Thankfully the shift leader told me to log out and go see a doctor who immediately booked me in with a colleague for a mental health assessment. They then advised me that I had social/adjustment anxiety and told me to take some time off work.

I offered my work to use my own built up leave to do this, but they refused and asked me to do it as workers comp, they booked me in for an independent medical who corroborated the psychologist and GPs assessment, but the workplace then turned around and disputed the compensation claim and made me jump through hoops while I felt horrible already to show that I deserved the pay they had given me while off due to their own instruction to do it as workers compensation.

The claim was ruled in my favour when the workplace refused to offer any evidence to the tribunal for their counterclaim and I immediately decided to end my tenure with them.

I thought that would be the end but it wasn't, I soon found out that people I had trusted at the company were spreading rumours around that I had sued the company to get money out of them and had essentially been a liar and putting it on even though at the end of the day they were the ones who told me to go down the path I did, I had offered to use my own leave and was declined.

I lost a lot of people I thought were close friends due to no fault of my own and it destroyed what was left of my self confidence and further aggravated the issue for which I had taken time off originally.

I spiralled downward and got worse even though I had freed myself from the place.

I then lost a relationship which at the time was the only bright light in my life and the Psych/GP had told me to use as an anchor point for happiness, whats worse is I didn't really receive any reason as to why.
I stayed in bed for 10 days straight, I didn't eat, I lost 10 kgs, after this I made excuses not to see friends because I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. The simplest things became harder, even going to the shops to get food to sustain myself was an insurmountable task, I couldn't bring myself to go out and be around people because in my mind I constantly questioned what they were thinking about me and worried they would hate me. I couldn't even do things that I enjoyed any more, going to the football with friends, training in jiu jitsu, going out for dinner and drinks with friends.

I pretty much broke down in my doctors office, and having known him for years he could see how much it was affecting me and gave me great advice and a lot of help.

Things are getting better now. They'll never be as perfect as some peoples lives but I'm getting to a point where I can be happy again. Something as simple as going to the football on Saturday with my best friend Adam is a huge step, and getting out there and doing things I wouldn't normally like going to board game days and planning to go to PAX Aus in November.

Depression and Anxiety are silent killers, and most people that have them (anxiety in particular) do not know what they entail or that it's even possible for them to have them so they don't seek help and if they do know they're afraid to ask for help in case they look weak. Factor into this that anxiety and depression make you less self inclined to ask for help and speak to people and it's a snowballing effect that can lead to people taking their lives as they see it as the only way out from the continuous cycle.

You may have seen the quote "Having anxiety is when you care too much about everything. Depression is when you feel you don't care about anything. Having both is hell", I never truly understood just how true this quote was and I have so much respect for those worse off than myself.

What I want to do is speak up and encourage people to talk to each other, there is absolutely no shame in asking for someone to listen to you and it can really, REALLY help. I have been so lucky to have a number of close friends that have listened to me, not necessarily always offering advice but just listening, and sometimes thats all you need.
It warms my heart seeing so many people opening up and inviting people to speak to them about these issues, and charitys such as Speak UP stay ChatTy spreading fantastic messages of support for people that are struggling. The more we talk and the less we demonise mental illness the easier it will be to address these horrible illnesses and prevent uneccessary loss of life (both literally and figuratively).

If you need help, speak out, speak to me, speak to a friend, anyone, just speak to someone. Don't let yourself lose the best years of your life and possible opportunities to these horrible illnesses. There is always someone out there willing to LISTEN. View attachment 279974

 

[Ben B 96]

I have had some battles with mental health issues. With the right support there is a way through. I was lucky to find a psychologist who was very down to earth with life experience.

That's the key,it took me seeing 4 psychs before I found one who I related to,I'm glad I didn't give up after the first few.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Quick bump to remind everyone that today is R U OK? Day.

Ask someone in your life how they're doing but also remember to listen.

 

[giantroo]

This is s**t from Mummy.

 

[Gasometer]

This is s**t from Mummy.

The icing on the cake of a s**t afternoon from Mummy. Real tough guy.

 

[naturally north]

12 months to the day for my family.

Yep real s**t from Mummy.

 

[Le Grille]

This is s**t from Mummy.

Yep, now an official flog


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[giantroo]

 

[Gasometer]

Buddy got a good little chin punch in

 

[giantroo]

 

[giantroo]

 

[Benj7]

agree with rance good choice of words should have been the two clubs that talk about it why make it so public it's stupid.
Worse stuff have been said on the field and this is what gets pointed out come on

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Sorry but "it could have been worse" doesn't get you off saying such a crap thing.

 

[giantroo]

Mummy apologises.

http://www.afl.com.au/news/2016-09-...h-sledge-from-shane-mumford-on-lance-franklin

 

[Grogg]

Just wanted to bump this off the back of a pretty ordinary few weeks culminating in my better half's son attempting to end it all on Monday.

Luckily he failed and it's nothing but a miracle that he survived. To compound the issue this was done in front of my beautiful girl.

I just wanted to say to anybody that is that far down the hole, don't do ice, don't over do any drugs but do try to talk to the ones you love and who love you. It brings nothing but pain and with a united front who are standing in your corner, you can recover and someday even find happiness.

I know. I've been there.

It's s**t, it's a monumental slog, but with love and sheer determination, it can be done.

Ok, that's it. Sorry for the soapbox.

 

[adrenalinjunkie]

Absolutely no apologies necessary mate, and it was far from a soapbox. Great that you had somewhere to come to unburden to plenty of sympathetic listeners.

Wise words in your third paragraph, building on DP's OP starting the thread (which is in fact a companion thread to what's on the main board) and lots of strong contributions in the meantime.

Stay with it mate - no end of support here if and when you need it.

 

[tazaa]

Just wanted to bump this off the back of a pretty ordinary few weeks culminating in my better half's son attempting to end it all on Monday.

Luckily he failed and it's nothing but a miracle that he survived. To compound the issue this was done in front of my beautiful girl.

I just wanted to say to anybody that is that far down the hole, don't do ice, don't over do any drugs but do try to talk to the ones you love and who love you. It brings nothing but pain and with a united front who are standing in your corner, you can recover and someday even find happiness.

I know. I've been there.

It's s**t, it's a monumental slog, but with love and sheer determination, it can be done.

Ok, that's it. Sorry for the soapbox.

There is nothing stronger than the support of loved ones. What family is all about mate.
No matter the circumstance, there is always a reason to look beyond the dark days and find genuine love and comfort that every human deserves.
Wishing you and he get all the support that is on offer so that days like that are a sheer distant memory.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Always here for a chat if you need it grogg

 

[goalieboy82]

i recommend horseback riding therapy.

 

[Grogg]

Thanks for all the well wishes guys. I'm ok and to be honest even with the current situation as it is, I'm still in a better place than before I met my partner. It's her and her son that are the worry.

 

[archereleven]

Just wanted to bump this off the back of a pretty ordinary few weeks culminating in my better half's son attempting to end it all on Monday.

Luckily he failed and it's nothing but a miracle that he survived. To compound the issue this was done in front of my beautiful girl.

I just wanted to say to anybody that is that far down the hole, don't do ice, don't over do any drugs but do try to talk to the ones you love and who love you. It brings nothing but pain and with a united front who are standing in your corner, you can recover and someday even find happiness.

I know. I've been there.

It's s**t, it's a monumental slog, but with love and sheer determination, it can be done.

Ok, that's it. Sorry for the soapbox.

Ice is an alarming catalyst for mental disease. My nephew has been in and out of mental hospitals for the last 3 years due to this drug, and from what he has told me, he only smoked the drug 6-8 times. His lack of discipline with his medication has slowed him down tremendously as his prognosis was to be on the meds for just 6-12 months. 40 months later and still a battle to get him to see the forest for the trees.

 

[spongebucket]

Mods Apologies for the Bump

Absolute inspiring post DarkPhoenix

As a Person who has suffered Mental Health for quite some time I applaud your courage to come forward and talk about it, something I have struggled to do for many years. (Talking about it that is).

It is a silent killer and not many people understand it unless they have been through it.

Anyway, to all those others in this thread that have come forward to say they have been through the same stuff, thankyou also.

The more its talked about with open arms the better, IMO

Cheers.