Depression

[undefined]

Word, GG.

I'm always numb - it's constant, never any relief. And it's rarely comfortable. Want the nightmares to end, but I'd ruin the lives of far too many.

 

[exe ex machina]

....

 

[exe ex machina]

....

 

[Perth gal]

Like little graham said so well. Once you cotton on, it can't be turned off. Or as I said in the OP, the thing seen that cannot be unseen. It can feel like there's a parasite draining you, like something's got a hold of you and won't let go. But really it's just seeing thru everything, seeing the truth, like seeing the strings in a movie special fx, all the fraudulent things in life/people/self. So much desert, wasteland. Even when good or nice things happen, you still see thru it. But also, with me, I have so much burning compassion and love for mankind/life. Especially those downtrodden/etc. I am so connected to Love itself that I'm filled with sorrow. Yet at the same time I am bereft of Love. Meanwhile, I also detest mankind/life.

In short, i would describe myself as...conflicted and disturbed.

You need to go to Field of dreams.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Sounds like a lot of riddles. I imagine it would be hard to feel better when you can't properly put your finger on and describe the problem.

Medication can cause a bunch of issues. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with depression and being bi-polar. She went through a bunch of crap with different medicine. Took them a couple of decades to work out her body was getting too much calcium. She had surgery on her parathyroid and is doing great now.

 

[scotslad]

I would never go down the medication path. It's all bullshit, and only worsens everything. The condition itself still there, and side effects creating more problems.

I havery taken medication and have to say it's a good mood us terms but medication reacts differently for each individual, it might otherwise have worked for yourself but can for other people.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Sounds like a lot of riddles. I imagine it would be hard to feel better when you can't properly put your finger on and describe the problem.

Medication can cause a bunch of issues. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with depression and being bi-polar. She went through a bunch of crap with different medicine. Took them a couple of decades to work out her body was getting too much calcium. She had surgery on her parathyroid and is doing great now.

Misdiagnosing bipolar as depression can be dangerous. There's a reason why they have specific medications for bipolar and depression.

 

[exe ex machina]

 

[little graham]

This can be useful

 

[Hairy Lager]

You guys should meet my parents...5 minutes, I dare you!

 

[ioppolo]

I cannot reconcile ANYTHING. I'm burning up in fury at EVERYTHING.

Dunno about the exact same feeling but I'm angry a lot of the time. Doesn't take a lot to get my anger veins pulsating, more so lately. Everyone is pissing me off. I get urges to hurt people in, we'll say illegal ways. The thought of doing these things never escapes me for generally more than a few hours. And it's not just others, I feel like I need to hurt myself too sometimes, as weird as that sounds.

Hard to explain this over words on the internetz but that's the basic gist.

 

[Doss]

I would never go down the medication path. It's all bullshit, and only worsens everything. The condition itself still there, and side effects creating more problems.

Mate, if my mother hadn't been on medication I have no doubt she would have killed herself a long time ago. It's not all bullshit.

 

[GreyCrow]

Dunno about the exact same feeling but I'm angry a lot of the time. Doesn't take a lot to get my anger veins pulsating, more so lately. Everyone is pissing me off. I get urges to hurt people in, we'll say illegal ways. The thought of doing these things never escapes me for generally more than a few hours. And it's not just others, I feel like I need to hurt myself too sometimes, as weird as that sounds.

Hard to explain this over words on the internetz but that's the basic gist.

The Heart of Men knows

 

[Perth gal]

Dunno about the exact same feeling but I'm angry a lot of the time. Doesn't take a lot to get my anger veins pulsating, more so lately. Everyone is pissing me off. I get urges to hurt people in, we'll say illegal ways. The thought of doing these things never escapes me for generally more than a few hours. And it's not just others, I feel like I need to hurt myself too sometimes, as weird as that sounds.

Hard to explain this over words on the internetz but that's the basic gist.

You should chat to someone about this man.

 

[little graham]

Dunno about the exact same feeling but I'm angry a lot of the time. Doesn't take a lot to get my anger veins pulsating, more so lately. Everyone is pissing me off. I get urges to hurt people in, we'll say illegal ways. The thought of doing these things never escapes me for generally more than a few hours. And it's not just others, I feel like I need to hurt myself too sometimes, as weird as that sounds.

Hard to explain this over words on the internetz but that's the basic gist.

There's life coaches out there that say thoughts come and go, don't eat yourself up over uncomfortable ones. Recognize what they are and move on.

Go find a good counsellor and keep looking until you find one.

 

[scotslad]

Dunno about the exact same feeling but I'm angry a lot of the time. Doesn't take a lot to get my anger veins pulsating, more so lately. Everyone is pissing me off. I get urges to hurt people in, we'll say illegal ways. The thought of doing these things never escapes me for generally more than a few hours. And it's not just others, I feel like I need to hurt myself too sometimes, as weird as that sounds.

Hard to explain this over words on the internetz but that's the basic gist.

I know that a lot of think that our problem is unique to us but it really isn't, sometimes you talk to someone else having similar problems and we think shit we aren't the only ones. everyone out there thinks that their problems are unique but trust me they ain't, took me a while to get out of a tutorial but I have realised how beautiful life can be and life is what YOU make it.

There is plenty of help out there.

 

[tigertigertiger]

I have become very addicted to this song

Good vibes

Even if those vibes are bad to strange

 

[exe ex machina]

.....

 

[tigertigertiger]

I have the best taste in everything. Glad you're enjoying the mayhem.

Post more, repeating this song so often with the headphones in right now I'm going to need some new material real soon

 

[exe ex machina]

.....

 

[tigertigertiger]

Will do

Tonight would be good while having some happy liquid

 

[ioppolo]

You should chat to someone about this man.

I would love to, but some the stuff that goes through my head, probably shouldn't be repeated. It'd scare most people.

 

[Perth gal]

I would love to, but some the stuff that goes through my head, probably shouldn't be repeated. It'd scare most people.

All the more reason .

 

[exe ex machina]

Tonight would be good while having some happy liquid

How about the permawar against depression

 

[tigertigertiger]

I would love to, but some the stuff that goes through my head, probably shouldn't be repeated. It'd scare most people.

You're not alone

If only I had a gun! The veins that I didn't know existed in my body that appear during those thoughts! It's not an uncommon feeling, as long as you can have the mentality to just step back, breath and change your thoughts you'll be fine, not to act on those thoughts I'm saying. Cognitive behaviour therapy, haven't done it myself but learning about it in case I ever need it