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Depression

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The Self itself is a maze of traps, delusions, lies, etc. Why so many people get ensnared in it when they look deep inside, when all their external safety valves and delusions have been broken, and all they have is introspection.

Seriously, ignorance is bliss. People seldom go to hell and back in terms of meeting their maker (exposing all the truths of the workings of the inner mind).

I try to get on psychadelics once a year for an ego reset. Find it clears my mind quite well. Sounds like a lot of you guys need some form of escapism in your life to take your mind away from all the bullshit life serves up. I'm not advocating drug use to deal with your problems but a creative hobby like painting or drawing could help some of you. Something to clear your head of the outside/inside noise completely.
 
I try to get on psychadelics once a year for an ego reset. Find it clears my mind quite well. Sounds like a lot of you guys need some form of escapism in your life to take your mind away from all the bullshit life serves up. I'm not advocating drug use to deal with your problems but a creative hobby like painting or drawing could help some of you. Something to clear your head of the outside/inside noise completely.

Agree completely. But I am so ****ing tired physically and mentally I can't begin to try and improve life. I'm simply cooked.
 

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Apart from everything else torturing me, which I have always somehow managed to persevere with -- money, everyday people, career, etc - the core killer is love. I am all Love, but no one has ever loved me. Not my own mother who abandoned me at birth, none of the other foster families, who all abandoned me too, not even the woman who died in labor, no girlfriends ever did, don't even mention male friends...and tho I don't give out my actual emotional love easy, always cool and aloof, taking everything as a short term experience, never investing in because a) there's never been anything real to invest in all the way, and b) too wounded from constant abandonment and rejection when investing half the way.....tho I don't, when finally I see it, know it, so belated, a slither of hope, the real thing itself, and I invest all the way, unafraid and unreserved, pushing even further gritting into the teeth of the deathly wind, believing whole heartedly, even then it still shuts the door in my face, traumatized by me. That's an impossible pill to swallow, every single human, everything, life itself, telling me to die. Like the ultimate understanding of the baby in the womb in The Butterfly Effect. I am not meant to be.
God loves you.
 

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Apart from everything else torturing me, which I have always somehow managed to persevere with -- money, everyday people, career, etc - the core killer is love. I am all Love, but no one has ever loved me. Not my own mother who abandoned me at birth, none of the other foster families, who all abandoned me too, not even the woman who died in labor, no girlfriends ever did, don't even mention male friends...and tho I don't give out my actual emotional love easy, always cool and aloof, taking everything as a short term experience, never investing in because a) there's never been anything real to invest in all the way, and b) too wounded from constant abandonment and rejection when investing half the way.....tho I don't, when finally I see it, know it, so belated, a slither of hope, the real thing itself, and I invest all the way, unafraid and unreserved, pushing even further gritting into the teeth of the deathly wind, believing whole heartedly, even then it still shuts the door in my face, traumatized by me. That's an impossible pill to swallow, every single human, everything, life itself, telling me to die. Like the ultimate understanding of the baby in the womb in The Butterfly Effect. I am not meant to be.


Well all gave our internal deamons to deal with, it just depends how you go round dealing with your issues, if you are accepting of it then you will tackle it easier however if you are tempted to ask yourself "why me" then it will be tough.
 

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INSTALLING LOVE

Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELFACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
 
Whenever I feel depressed, I get a blood test. Low Vitamin D and niacin levels can contribute. Also, I start to focus on other people. Depression hits me when I focus too much on myself.
 
Sitting with 3 ice packs all day for some weird injury has a way of making you depressed. Pain as in physical pain is a weird leveller. All I can currently say is ouch.
 

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