Health Depression

Marklar_33

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Regarding these last two posts

I’m seeing someone who is lovely, but it’s almost like I need someone to “talk down to me” a little. I don’t know, I feel comfortable but also I don’t seem to completely open up. I guess I still don’t want to come across as troubled... which is what I’m there for. It’s me isn’t it? 😅
 

Shell

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Jul 2, 2005
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Regarding these last two posts

I’m seeing someone who is lovely, but it’s almost like I need someone to “talk down to me” a little. I don’t know, I feel comfortable but also I don’t seem to completely open up. I guess I still don’t want to come across as troubled... which is what I’m there for. It’s me isn’t it? 😅
Lmfao, yep that's exactly what happened re. the "lovely" psychologist I saw- the second one.

Or re. eating properly and going out for walks, I'd just say I was but in reality I was not :roflv1:
 

Marklar_33

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Lmfao, yep that's exactly what happened re. the "lovely" psychologist I saw- the second one.

Or re. eating properly and going out for walks, I'd just say I was but in reality I was not :roflv1:
Yeah I downplay things, never really go to the full extent. Although the problem I guess with her being too nice is that I’m calm and relaxed when I’m there, not in my worst headspace
 

Lemma

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Sorry if this is a dumb question, but is there an internet search portal where you can search for a psychologist near you (and what they specialise in etc)? I can't seem to find one

I haven't been to a psychologist since I was in high school
 
Mar 25, 2021
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Sorry if this is a dumb question, but is there an internet search portal where you can search for a psychologist near you (and what they specialise in etc)? I can't seem to find one

I haven't been to a psychologist since I was in high school
Not a dumb question at all. I've used https://www.ratemds.com, just know that everyone is different and some people will give bad reviews for no reason. I think there are a few fake postitive reviews also. But if you notice a trend with bad reviews I'd take that as a hint.

Another thing, don't rely on the "Accepting New Patients" feature. I don't think it is updated that often. Just ring them first if you need a referral.
 
Mar 25, 2021
188
218
East of the Sun, West of the Moon
AFL Club
Fremantle
Regarding these last two posts

I’m seeing someone who is lovely, but it’s almost like I need someone to “talk down to me” a little. I don’t know, I feel comfortable but also I don’t seem to completely open up. I guess I still don’t want to come across as troubled... which is what I’m there for. It’s me isn’t it? 😅
I'm like that also. But if people talk down to me the last thing I will do is open up to them. I don't open up immediately. It is a hard think to do and it takes me a few sessions before I feel comfortable.
 

Marklar_33

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I'm like that also. But if people talk down to me the last thing I will do is open up to them. I don't open up immediately. It is a hard think to do and it takes me a few sessions before I feel comfortable.
I think I meant more that if I see someone I may not warm to, I may be less bothered by how I’m coming across to them as a person. Due to circumstance, I’ve been a less than stellar human being at times and I struggle to get that across
 
Mar 25, 2021
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I think I meant more that if I see someone I may not warm to, I may be less bothered by how I’m coming across to them as a person. Due to circumstance, I’ve been a less than stellar human being at times and I struggle to get that across
Oh, I see what you mean. I have been less than stellar myself and don't say it, but I see the consultations more about getting myself sorted rather than a confessional. I don't see mental health professionals as people who you need to spill your entire guts to. Any good one will ask the right questions and make their own judgement.
 

Run n Spread

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psychologists are VERY expensive and is the reason a lot of people cant regularly go

On SM-G925I using BigFooty.com mobile app
True but to echo points above your GP is first contact. But I get the feeling mine doesn't like me or know how to deal with me so I've been handballed round the system without a resolution.
It sucks so just have to go on.
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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The last entire page or two has been the same style of issue explained in differing words. Everyone is discussing what id say is the primal instinct of community and a longing for it or a somewhat inability to understand how best to involve yourself in it. As much as its the same issue it gets born in many many different ways I must admit

I truly believe this is such a Australian problem. Our concept of community and inclusion is absolutely pitiful, bordering on disgusting. The conversation Shell had with her selfish friend is insanely common in Australia. Its a pathetic self involved horrible trait. If I was Shell the first thing id do is remove that friend and never think of them again. Self involved horrid person and there is zero need for anyone ever to have that type of person in ones life

A harsh thought but I tend to think in life in order to find something, we need to look in other places. Too many people want others to include them in a certain community whereas it might be best to search for a new and better one. Too many people will look for friendship or companionship in the same manner. A terrible person exits one life and the instinct is to do a like for like replacement almost. The best thing to do I think is to actually look in other areas and dont commend yourself to the same patterns in life. If you are seeking friendship and havnt found it with a certain type of individual, seek it out on a alternate fashion.

Things like social groups and clubs is a good place. A truly underrated thing is to find something you want to learn and or know, join a class or way to learn that thing or action. It is quite easy to make friends amongst a person who wants to learn something that you also want to learn. Other places id say is group therapy session as its also important to look for people with your life experience. Its so common to ask someone "Oh what do you like", and only operate around that whereas in life its arguably more important to find someone whose had your life experience and to live by each other in that sense.

A person like Shells friend will never understand Shell. We all know her type. The person whose greatest struggle is to buy the blue pants or the white pants and when confronted with a real issue will run and hide because they believe anyone whose not having a 100% A grade time is some form of potential anchor for them. The story will always be the same for this person. They will eventually run into a problem thats bigger then the color of pants, they will seek help and realise that as a result of helping no one themselves, no one wants to help them either. Shell is self aware enough to see that for sure, so also just walk away from it (sorry if that sounds harsh)

One last thing, A psychologist can help a bit but your decision making will always be your greatest friend in the world also so reflect on that each day and focus on it as well as the basic principles of psychology and happiness. Once you are happy with your decison making, its a huge stepping stone to being happy with yourself
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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True but to echo points above your GP is first contact. But I get the feeling mine doesn't like me or know how to deal with me so I've been handballed round the system without a resolution.
It sucks so just have to go on.
Can I suggest going to a cognitive therapy course of some sort? At the very least id suggest to buy a cognitive therapy book if you dont have the finances for it



is what id recommend. You need to read atleast 3/4 of it to get to the point of understanding so if you feel like you dont get it right away, just persist longer
 

Caesar

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Mar 3, 2005
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psychologists are VERY expensive and is the reason a lot of people cant regularly go
If you really need one and genuinely can't afford it, there are ways of getting access

A lot of psychologists will charge well below the advertised rate (or even bulk bill on a MHCP) on a needs basis, especially if they've treated your previously or the referral is coming from a GP that they work closely with. They may just ask you to take unpopular appointment times, or 'fly standby'.

Persist with your GP and organisations like Beyond Blue - they will find someone to help you
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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Oh, I see what you mean. I have been less than stellar myself and don't say it, but I see the consultations more about getting myself sorted rather than a confessional. I don't see mental health professionals as people who you need to spill your entire guts to. Any good one will ask the right questions and make their own judgement.
99% of the solution is understanding that it is a problem in its own way. Dont kid yourself and think for every 1 you, there isnt another 100 who are less than stellar acting like complete prats but lack the self awareness or more importantly empathetic nature to see it in themselves.

Subverting yourself as a less than stellar person is some form of comparison based logic. Its not really fair to burden yourself with a comparison like scenario. People who do tend to compare themselves, compare themselves to those who they cant be compared too. Oh look at Bob, I wish I was Bob, he has a wife, 2 kids and a house. Thats the picture for sure but the reality is you are not there for so many factors outside your vision and control. His wife probably found him and brought him along ie. met the right person. His mom and dad probably paid for a stellar education and lifted him up in ways you were not able too due to circumstance. Many other ways too. Reality is to compare yourself, you need to compare yourself to a similar person. I tend to think once you do that, you will normalise yourself a bit more and create a fairer judgment
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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If you really need one and genuinely can't afford it, there are ways of getting access

A lot of psychologists will charge well below the advertised rate (or even bulk bill on a MHCP) on a needs basis, especially if they've treated your previously or the referral is coming from a GP that they work closely with. They may just ask you to take unpopular appointment times, or 'fly standby'.

Persist with your GP and organisations like Beyond Blue - they will find someone to help you
Harsh again but if you need to persist to find a solution its not much of a solution when arguably one of the problems they are meant to be solving is a lack of will power. GP and Beyond Blue is more like a part of a solution and maybe a small part at that. You kind of need more then 1 approach to the same problem at times. Like sometimes you dont extinguish a fire, you contain it for a while and then let another event put the fire out.

So many push these GP or therapies as some form of learning tool almost and a singular solution. Id strongly suggest to learn within yourself too. Run N Spread is clearly a intellectual enough person for example and thats why I suggested he read some of these behaviour type books (havnt seen others post enough to know this but you might be too). It might not be the answer I know but its a good way to add another approach for sure
 

Caesar

Ex-Huckleberry
Mar 3, 2005
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Harsh again but if you need to persist to find a solution its not much of a solution when arguably one of the problems they are meant to be solving is a lack of will power.
Depression and willpower are totally separate things

Anyway, I'm not saying seeking help doesn't require effort. I'm just saying that cost isn't an insurmountable obstacle.
 
Last edited:

Macca19

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Having a sh*t time of it at the moment.

Ive gone of my AD’s as I didnt want to become reliant on them. Ive started taking sleep supplements which have either a slight serotonin or 5htp release which has worked well so far.

But, my marriage is all but over. That sucks. Its been failing for a few years but every now and then a gust of wind would come and keep the coals burning but its only for a short time. Only reason i havent left is because i cant leave my 3 kids but thats now not holding me back. I imagine in the next month or two ill be moving back in with my folks, which isnt something i want to do but no other option. Weve talked about marriage counselling but the issues are unresolvable imo.

My family business is thriving but sh*t its hard. I work 6-8 hours 7 days a week. Every week. Ive got this week off but prior to that i’d had about 5 days off in the last 170 days. I love what i do and i love being there but that sort of relentless schedule is hard.

I feel like my life is collapsing with no real resolution in sight. Id be lying if i said I hadnt had plenty of grave thoughts over the last couple months. Ive fallen away from my strtegies which were helping a lot so with this week off im going to get back into those things that were helping to hopefully steer me back on track mentally.
 

Run n Spread

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Apr 2, 2013
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Can I suggest going to a cognitive therapy course of some sort? At the very least id suggest to buy a cognitive therapy book if you dont have the finances for it



is what id recommend. You need to read atleast 3/4 of it to get to the point of understanding so if you feel like you dont get it right away, just persist longer
This is true. A lot of emotion is based on instinct and no matter how much you want to not feel a certain way it is what it is.
It's more recallibrating your life so you rehone instinct. Bit I should give what you posted above a shot.
Last year has been hard for me but I need to really try something new
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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Having a sh*t time of it at the moment.

Ive gone of my AD’s as I didnt want to become reliant on them. Ive started taking sleep supplements which have either a slight serotonin or 5htp release which has worked well so far.

But, my marriage is all but over. That sucks. Its been failing for a few years but every now and then a gust of wind would come and keep the coals burning but its only for a short time. Only reason i havent left is because i cant leave my 3 kids but thats now not holding me back. I imagine in the next month or two ill be moving back in with my folks, which isnt something i want to do but no other option. Weve talked about marriage counselling but the issues are unresolvable imo.

My family business is thriving but sh*t its hard. I work 6-8 hours 7 days a week. Every week. Ive got this week off but prior to that i’d had about 5 days off in the last 170 days. I love what i do and i love being there but that sort of relentless schedule is hard.

I feel like my life is collapsing with no real resolution in sight. Id be lying if i said I hadnt had plenty of grave thoughts over the last couple months. Ive fallen away from my strtegies which were helping a lot so with this week off im going to get back into those things that were helping to hopefully steer me back on track mentally.
Some tough love but here goes

- Was this recommended or kind of self created? You are still likely to be reliant on a sleeping supplement. Its a bit like replacing a cigar with a cigarette at best to cure your niccotine issue. Its the type of change id want 3 peoples opinions on as a minimum myself. If your body is your life savings so to speak then you cant make such a drastic decision without being completely 100% sure.

- The second part makes no sense. Everything is unresolvable if we dont have any defined actions to resolve them. A issue becomes unresolvable when it can be defined in a lengthy and detailed manner I like to think. Think of it like say going to cancer treatment. When they try to resolve it, do you think they say your cancer is unresolvable on page 1 of your medical chart or will your medical chart have pages upon pages of treatment options, changes, medical changes etc and then you have a cancer is terminal diagnosis? Before you define it id suggest being 100% sure in yourself that you have those pages upon pages of treatments done. If you cant write about it in distinct detail then try to write a distinct detail out and follow it. Its funny that in life we constantly create these definitions without any details for said creation

- Overconsumption of things you love is a massive massive massive driver towards depression. In its instinctive form that is addiction. Finding something you love and using it too the point that the previous love is no longer existing due to what is almost like a overdose. If your schedule is hard, change your schedule and do everything to achieve it. If your 3 kids are the most important thing to you and your schedule is a barrier to it, then as a by product your schedule is the most important problem you have also due to its trickle down effect. It might be worth finding a way to resolve it beyond all reasonable doubt and doing so based on the understanding thats its not a self involved goal and in all actuality the enormous trickle down effects on lowering your own burden will help others around you too

- Getting back to those strategies is OK but you need to create the stability around it to prevent steering away from them. Anxiety is always a issue that needs thought and id say that alot of people steer there way back to the right path BUT thereafter dont formulate a plan on keeping on that path. Steering onto the path isnt all that relevant if you cannot 100% find the way to stay on it. Even if it is a drastic change or two the familiarity and comfortable nature of securing your path will make you more mentally stable then you realise
 

Macca19

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Some tough love but here goes

- Was this recommended or kind of self created? You are still likely to be reliant on a sleeping supplement. Its a bit like replacing a cigar with a cigarette at best to cure your niccotine issue. Its the type of change id want 3 peoples opinions on as a minimum myself. If your body is your life savings so to speak then you cant make such a drastic decision without being completely 100% sure.
Good, I like tough love! This was not recommended but I only ever wanted to be on it for 12 months, i've come to the end of my 2nd batch of prescriptions so felt it a good time to stop. I'm not taking the sleep tablets every night, its only once every 3-4 nights, but agree, I should probably see my doctor about it.

- The second part makes no sense. Everything is unresolvable if we dont have any defined actions to resolve them. A issue becomes unresolvable when it can be defined in a lengthy and detailed manner I like to think. Think of it like say going to cancer treatment. When they try to resolve it, do you think they say your cancer is unresolvable on page 1 of your medical chart or will your medical chart have pages upon pages of treatment options, changes, medical changes etc and then you have a cancer is terminal diagnosis? Before you define it id suggest being 100% sure in yourself that you have those pages upon pages of treatments done. If you cant write about it in distinct detail then try to write a distinct detail out and follow it. Its funny that in life we constantly create these definitions without any details for said creation
I think we both feel that the issues we have aren't going to be resolved by marriage counselling, but we'll be giving it a go in any case.

- Overconsumption of things you love is a massive massive massive driver towards depression. In its instinctive form that is addiction. Finding something you love and using it too the point that the previous love is no longer existing due to what is almost like a overdose. If your schedule is hard, change your schedule and do everything to achieve it. If your 3 kids are the most important thing to you and your schedule is a barrier to it, then as a by product your schedule is the most important problem you have also due to its trickle down effect. It might be worth finding a way to resolve it beyond all reasonable doubt and doing so based on the understanding thats its not a self involved goal and in all actuality the enormous trickle down effects on lowering your own burden will help others around you too
I see my kids more now than I did when I was working 5 full days with 2 days off so the schedule works from that perspective, its more the mental, physical and emotional strain which has taken its toll.

Good post though, thankyou
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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I see my kids more now than I did when I was working 5 full days with 2 days off so the schedule works from that perspective, its more the mental, physical and emotional strain which has taken its toll.

Good post though, thankyou
I had a small inkling you would say that as when you are burdened by a decision it’s generally not impacting people besides yourself, at the very least it’s how you will define it

You are internalising the issues created by this from your perspective and maybe just a guess using it as a barrier to pr3vent the change. Your overconsumption does have other effect. You probably need to step back and view them from afar perhaps or atleast ask others how it’s impacting them, hell even impacting the business itself

If you do step back you will realise it’s not a self involved decision eventually even if you aren’t discussing it that way. I’ve never ever heard of someone working themselves to depression as a benefit for a business. It’s normally ending up that the happier version of you begins working 5 days a week and achieving as much as you were in 7 by result of being more energetic, sound and focused
 

Shell

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The last entire page or two has been the same style of issue explained in differing words. Everyone is discussing what id say is the primal instinct of community and a longing for it or a somewhat inability to understand how best to involve yourself in it. As much as its the same issue it gets born in many many different ways I must admit

I truly believe this is such a Australian problem. Our concept of community and inclusion is absolutely pitiful, bordering on disgusting. The conversation Shell had with her selfish friend is insanely common in Australia. Its a pathetic self involved horrible trait. If I was Shell the first thing id do is remove that friend and never think of them again. Self involved horrid person and there is zero need for anyone ever to have that type of person in ones life
Tbh- I was that person several years ago to a friend of mine- I really cringe thinking back about it now. I made amends recently tho- reached out and apologised and we've caught up a couple times since. So Idk maybe its a bit of karma for me now, if you believe in that kind of stuff.


/as for the other mate. I deleted their mobile no. I won't be making an effort anymore. Will focus on (the few) people who actually want to see me. And go to more meet ups, and start some volunteer work soon.
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

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Tbh- I was that person several years ago to a friend of mine- I really cringe thinking back about it now. I made amends recently tho- reached out and apologised and we've caught up a couple times since.

So Idk maybe its a bit of karma for me now, if you believe in that kind of stuff.
/and I am. I deleted their mobile no. I won't be making an effort anymore. Will focus on (the few) people who actually want to see me. And go to more meet ups, and start some volunteer work soon.
Self awareness is 99 percent of the solotion and the apology is the other 1 percent.

You cannot receive karma when you have written the wrong and corrected it, nor can you hold onto a wrong because you were similar or acted that way in the past. Apart of self improvement is not burdening with your past self.

A good concept of life is to turn your excuses into a story. By doing that, they don’t impact you going forward outside of having a story to say

I don’t know you but you seem like someone who would benefit from the concept of learning and being involved within that. Suspect your sense or anxiety will alleviate once you are around people in a learning environmen. Just get that feeling is all
 

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