Health Depression

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biggiemediums

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 20, 2010
6,106
6,838
AFL Club
Collingwood
Officially now diagnosed with Autism and ADHD which go a long way to explaining my life long anxiety and depression.

Also really explains why I haven't been on a date since 2013. BAD IDEA for my confidence getting on those dating apps.
 

Electronic_Renaissance

I ain't sayin' nothin'!
Mar 25, 2021
881
1,433
Omnipresent
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Officially now diagnosed with Autism and ADHD which go a long way to explaining my life long anxiety and depression.

Also really explains why I haven't been on a date since 2013. BAD IDEA for my confidence getting on those dating apps.
It's good (but bad, if you know what I mean) that you have finally got a proper diagnosis. Hopefully you can get the treatment you deserve.
 

Perth gal

Premiership Player
Oct 19, 2015
4,539
4,089
AFL Club
West Coast
What do you do when you just feel so lonely you actually physically ache? My son is always out ( and he should be , he’s young) and sometimes you just don’t have work or anything social on. You ask a few people to come out but everyone has made plans. I guess I’ll get through somehow.
 

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Kram

I'll brik u
May 2, 2007
65,490
82,446
WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
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Chicago Bears, de Boer, Arsenal
What do you do when you just feel so lonely you actually physically ache? My son is always out ( and he should be , he’s young) and sometimes you just don’t have work or anything social on. You ask a few people to come out but everyone has made plans. I guess I’ll get through somehow.
That's no good.. what are your interests, are you still in your Adventist church?
 

Deliverance

Brownlow Medallist
Jun 19, 2011
14,283
22,627
MCG
AFL Club
Hawthorn
What do you do when you just feel so lonely you actually physically ache? My son is always out ( and he should be , he’s young) and sometimes you just don’t have work or anything social on. You ask a few people to come out but everyone has made plans. I guess I’ll get through somehow.
A lot of time goes in to raising kids. It can definitely leave a gap when they grow up. Have you found a new purpose and new connections to replace the time dedicated to him?
 

biggiemediums

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 20, 2010
6,106
6,838
AFL Club
Collingwood
Good time to try dating for the first time in a decade, I thought.. I'm ready, I thought. Can't meet people in real life anymore so online dating it is.

Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.

Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
 

Hank Scorpion

Premiership Player
Nov 17, 2013
4,018
8,376
Victoria
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
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Sheffield Wednesday
Good time to try dating for the first time in a decade, I thought.. I'm ready, I thought. Can't meet people in real life anymore so online dating it is.

Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.

Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
Yeah, I'm avoiding them for this reason. Would be emotionally shredding. Even in normal times, they're 90% a sausage fest, a lot of guys are going to get left out by sheer maths.

I'm waiting for things to return to normal (16 months and counting...) so I can try out more typical social get-togethers where I'd hopefully meet someone more organically. (Easier said than done)
 

ash_1050

Premiership Player
Nov 21, 2009
3,606
6,683
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
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Melbourne Victory and Arsenal
Good time to try dating for the first time in a decade, I thought.. I'm ready, I thought. Can't meet people in real life anymore so online dating it is.

Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.

Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
Thankfully that's likely just the result of a bad bio and photos rather than you being undateable. Have a trusted female friend go through and critique your bio, as women value and see dating profiles a bit differently than men. Likewise your conversation game may need a bit of work, if you're starting a chat with 'hey' or 'how are you' etc is 0/10 exciting. Dating apps aren't that bad, it just takes a bit of time to get the hang of them.
 

Upgrayedd

A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
Aug 11, 2006
32,228
25,911
Perth
AFL Club
Hawthorn
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Timberwolves, Crystal Palace
Good time to try dating for the first time in a decade, I thought.. I'm ready, I thought. Can't meet people in real life anymore so online dating it is.

Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.

Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
Hard not to be bitter to be honest.

Online dating is a crapshoot dude. It will humble the most confident man. You are better then that king. Honestly however the profiles are the biggest barrier and timing. Those sites often will neg you, wont expose you until you pay $$$. They are not created to boost confidence.
 
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Upgrayedd

A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
Aug 11, 2006
32,228
25,911
Perth
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Timberwolves, Crystal Palace
Im pretty bad currently.

I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month

About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments

around that time my ex started getting depression,

Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.

I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.

Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.

I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.

Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for

I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.

I miss my dogs.
 

Electronic_Renaissance

I ain't sayin' nothin'!
Mar 25, 2021
881
1,433
Omnipresent
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Fremantle
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Im pretty bad currently.

I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month

About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments

around that time my ex started getting depression,

Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.

I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.

Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.

I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.

Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for

I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.

I miss my dogs.
That's terrible. If she's the one whose not interested she should be the one who leaves. You should see if you can get some sort of legal aid.

You may be different but if it was me I'd want it sorted as quickly as possible.
 

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toxic

Hall of Famer
May 9, 2008
41,940
58,566
GONE
AFL Club
Collingwood
Im pretty bad currently.

I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month

About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments

around that time my ex started getting depression,

Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.

I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.

Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.

I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.

Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for

I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.

I miss my dogs.
Sell the house.

Sell it asap
 

FrankGrimes

Club Legend
Jan 11, 2009
1,464
1,115
melb
AFL Club
Essendon
Im pretty bad currently.

I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month

About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments

around that time my ex started getting depression,

Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.

I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.

Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.

I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.

Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for

I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.

I miss my dogs.
Sorry to hear mate, speak to people and sell that house if you can?
 

Marklar_33

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 23, 2005
23,135
14,483
Tas
AFL Club
Collingwood
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D'Backs, Hurricanes
if you're starting a chat with 'hey' or 'how are you' etc is 0/10 exciting.
That’s how I narrow them down. If they’re too stuck up to reply to a simple message, and require some over the top bullshit, I’m not interested. My starting point is always ‘how are you *name*’ and I’ve met some really great people. And I’m also easy to confuse with a dropped pastie. I also do agree though that it’s a toxic environment and probably should be avoided in the wrong headspace
 

checkraiseulite

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 23, 2010
5,218
3,518
AFL Club
Hawthorn
That’s how I narrow them down. If they’re too stuck up to reply to a simple message, and require some over the top bullshit, I’m not interested. My starting point is always ‘how are you *name*’ and I’ve met some really great people. And I’m also easy to confuse with a dropped pastie. I also do agree though that it’s a toxic environment and probably should be avoided in the wrong headspace
assume they are getting that message from every other bloke they match with, and they known you are sending it out to every woman you match it.

it’s boring and indicates no effort and you can’t blame people for ignoring it. dating apps are not the same as meeting someone in a bar.

hardly over the top bullshit to look at their profile and ask them about something on it or ask a question.
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

Norm Smith Medallist
Suspended
Mar 19, 2020
5,261
10,760
AFL Club
West Coast
Im pretty bad currently.

I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month

About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments

around that time my ex started getting depression,

Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.

I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.

Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.

I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.

Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for

I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.

I miss my dogs.
Quite simply put, this is a divorce. Just because there is no ring on it, it does not mean this isnt a legal seperation. You have co-owned goods and everything along those lines, so you need to address the situation in a legal manner

First thing I would do is, ring Legal Aid. Explain the situation, ask what your rights are. Once you have advice, go to a lawyer, explain the situation and work on the basis that

A) You want to sell the house
B) You want the dogs as they are your dogs
C) Before you sell house, you want her to pay rent

You may want more but all 3 of those are going to be easily achievable. I understand you cant afford a lawyer but to be brutally honest, you dont need a good lawyer here. Your case is relatively open and shut. You cant be kicked out of a house you are paying the mortgage on and no one can usurp ownership of pets.. Its a basic law here. When time comes to approach a lawyer, tell them that A) is non-negotiable and you will pay said lawyer when A) is achieved. Most are happy to operate under that concept because quite simply you will win A) as a open and shut situation

A brutal truth here is that your mental state is letting you roll over. Dont roll over. FIGHT! . Once you fight for your rights, you will realise you are worthy and be a happier person

One person cant define your self worth. Take back control and create your own definition. Everything you said in this post proves you are worthy. No one should tell you otherwise
 
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GoEaglesGoSGIO

Norm Smith Medallist
Suspended
Mar 19, 2020
5,261
10,760
AFL Club
West Coast
Good time to try dating for the first time in a decade, I thought.. I'm ready, I thought. Can't meet people in real life anymore so online dating it is.

Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.

Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
To be honest, you are looking in the 3 wrong places. You need to use a dating app that suits your needs and wants, not one that has the most fish in said barrel.

If it means so much to you, then quite simply invest some money and ultimately more effort in it. Id just buy RSVP/eHarmony and see how you go. These are apps where people actually want to meet and do so at your level. No one wants to try dating for the first time on Tinder, they want validation for themselves and themselves only. Its also a case where empty people like that wont spend any money on getting that validation. They just want a cheap win. If you move over to places that charge money and good coin at that you tend to weed out the shithouse people looking for selfish wins. You may also give time for your personality to shine through in that field too as RSVP and eHarmony demand personality profiles be drawn up and create something deeper in that space.

Honest truth is your effort in this situation does not match the impact it is having on you. If it means this much, invest more of yourself into it. Both time and money. Once you do you will get better results. Id be pretty staggered if you didnt in the sense that basic human concepts is that effort does and will shine through eventually
 

Perth gal

Premiership Player
Oct 19, 2015
4,539
4,089
AFL Club
West Coast
I’m still going to my psychologist. Results are slow but we did a list today covering different areas of my life and how I felt about them last year and this year. Made me see I am making some progress. Also have a bit of a lower back problem and the physio and chiro suggested swimming so I’ve started that. Exercise does make you feel good.
 

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