Health Depression

[Zarrix]

I have to agree with The Boy from Brasil. Inactivity is the single biggest cause of depressive disorders. If you haven't got anything to do, you just sit there, letting the anxiety and negative mindset sink in. I've had a couple of mates with depression, and I know it is such a hard cycle to get out of once you slide down the spiral.

One of my mates has been pessimistic and paranoid for as long as I could remember, and his condition has gradually got worse. The other, well he woke up one morning and wasn't himself for a long while.

It was sad times for me back in 2005 though, no friends, my family had very little income for a while. Very fortunate I got out of that hole when I moved interstate and started fresh.

 

[Leon]

I too suffer from it and my deep sympathy too all those in the same situation.

Mine came about as a result of several things. Bad experiences during childhood and at school, always been kind of a loner drifting along hoping I'll wake one day and find that life is much better.

Something that's terrible for me is lack of companionship and company. I broke up with my girlfriend this year. I had been with her since I was 14, and I'm now 29.

It hurt me so badly and triggered back the depression which I hadn't had for a while. I hadn't been by myself for 15 years and she was all I had ever known in terms of relationships, and all of a sudden she was gone.

The strange thing for me is that like I said I'm kind of a loner by nature but my loneliness at the moment is killing me. I live by myself in an apartment and just wish that I had someone to hold, confide in and comfort me when I was feeling sad I would feel heaps better. And when you've only had one relationship, I've find it impossible to put myself out there and say "Hey, I'm lonely and sad, I need some company".

I also have a feeling that life just doesn't seem to turn out the way you expect. When I was a kid I was really happy. Had great friends, family, great times and experiences and you're young and idealistic and you think life is just going to be grand.

Then you grow up, a few things happen and you start to realise that its not that easy.

For me, the worst thing is the sleep. For starters, I have horrible insomnia as a result of it. Just lying awake at night because you're feeling sad, teary or because your mind is going at a million miles a minute is torture.

Then that whole 'I literally cannot get out of bed' feeling the next morning. It is the most painful thing to get out of bed when all you want to do is sleep for hours on end.

I arrive at work looking like I literally have just woken up. A couple of hours in and I'm finding myself falling asleep at my desk. Well at least that's what I'm finding. Its a vicious cycle.

And then feeling lethargic, lazy and having no energy to do exercise and get active which as has been said can really help get your spirits up and about.

On the weekends when I sleep in, I can wake up at 3pm and still feel really badly over tired.

Its just a bad cycle. I know I need to sleep better, to eat better, to exercise and to look after myself better. But when you feel like this you wonder where and how to begin.

What is that first small step you can take that will make you feel better, that can give you the confidence once you've done it to try something else and see if that helps too?

 

[The Boy From Brasil]

What is that first small step you can take that will make you feel better, that can give you the confidence once you've done it to try something else and see if that helps too?

I feel sorry for you Leon and your situation. I got to know you through the Bulldogs board so know that you are a decent person.

Not that I am an expert but here is a very basic four step approach to getting the ball moving to improving your life.

STEP 1 Give some thought as to the life that you would love to have. What is your dream life? What would you love to be doing in two years or five years? What excites you? What have you always wanted to do but never had the chance? What makes your heart race when you think about doing it?
Brainstorm some ideas on that, and then write down how your vision of a great life is and more importantly, what are the critical elements.

STEP 2 Write down how your life is now. Write down all the elements of your life at the moment, what is good in your life and what is bad in your life. Usually, if you are taking the time out to do this exercise, there is more bad than good.

STEP 3 You use the working back principal to join the dots. You look at the dream life you want, compare it to the life you have at the moment, and then work back from there with a plan of how to get from the present life(Step 2) to your dream life(Step1)

STEP 4 Write down your goals. Once you have worked out a pathway on how to get to where you want to go, you can start to crystalise some goals. By goalsetting, you are instantly giving your positivity a boost as you are taking control of your life and doing something constructive to improve it.


People get down and depressed and can find themselves easily in a rut in their life. But the way I think of it is this:

If a doctor said to you that you were dying, how would you respond? Well, obviously first thoughts are sadness, anger, denial, panic etc. And then the next step you would want to know is how long have I got to live? Say if it was six months. What would you think? Your instant thoughts would be "What can I do in six months? I only have six months left, so how can I make the most of this time and do what I have always wanted to do"

Well, truth is we are all dying. Every single one of us. But the difference between us and the scenario I just gave is that our death sentence is unknown and not six months. There will be people reading this thread who will be dead within a year, some within two years, some five years, some twenty years and some fifty years(hopefully the majority of us).

The thing is that once we start thinking of life in terms of it being finite and a time game to do all the things we love, then it changes our outlook on life. The trivial things suddenly don't seem important. Instead of money or status or a girlfriend with big boobs(although that is handy though) being the most precious resource or asset, time is.

And if time is your most precious asset, then take advantage of it and use it while you can. Don't mope around and think of the bad things in your life. Think only of the opportunities for you to spend your time doing things you love, things you have always wanted to do, and with people who are important to you. Because time is a one way street.And it is limited as well. Once it is gone, it is gone. The greatest tragedy that can befall a person is that he dies with regrets of not doing something that he always wanted to do.


Sorry, it is a long winded essay, but hope it helps a bit

 

[SirJimi05]

Yeh well, you grow up imagining that you can do something with your life, and everyone tells you that you can do anything. Then one day, you wake up and realise that you're never going to be anything special. You're just going to be another average joe working an average job to pay the bills and survive. It's hardly worth it at the end of the day.

This is a cop out imo. I was a C grade student and never really cared for school. I was told that i would never amount to anything. Left school before completing my VCE because my mum was very sick and i wanted to get a job to help pay her medical expenses.

First job was working in a factory for peanuts. I was told that this is what the future holds for me. Even my old man told me that this was my destiny. He was a blue collar worker that also left school early so in his mind this was the only outcome for people like us.

I had two choices. First choice was to listen to what people were telling me and make nothing out of my life. The other choice was to back myself and believe that i could do whatever i wanted. This is the hardest choice because it takes hard work and dedication. Most people take the easy option because it doesn't involve risk.

Now at the age of 29 i have owned and run 2 successful businesses which i sold for very decent profits, i am now involved in a number of projects overseas, and by the time i hit 30 next year i should have net assets of over 1M and zero debt. This will make me a millionare by 30 when almost everybody told me i would amount to shit.

The Op said he lacks brains so has given up on ever making anything of himself. I dont agree with this at all. He just has to find the thing he is really good at. It took me a lot of time to find out what i was good at but eventually i did. I tried various things and failed but kept getting up for more. I knew i just had to find the right thing for me. People told me to stop wasting my time and money on crazy ideas and just find a regular 9-5 job. I felt sorry for those people. I still do.

Oh, and being shit at school doesn't actually mean you lack intelligence. The OP just needs to find something that stimulates him and he will soon find out that he is not stupid.

I wish him luck.

 

[BigBadCam]

This is a cop out imo. I was a C grade student and never really cared for school. I was told that i would never amount to anything. Left school before completing my VCE because my mum was very sick and i wanted to get a job to help pay her medical expenses.

First job was working in a factory for peanuts. I was told that this is what the future holds for me. Even my old man told me that this was my destiny. He was a blue collar worker that also left school early so in his mind this was the only outcome for people like us.

I had two choices. First choice was to listen to what people were telling me and make nothing out of my life. The other choice was to back myself and believe that i could do whatever i wanted. This is the hardest choice because it takes hard work and dedication. Most people take the easy option because it doesn't involve risk.

Now at the age of 29 i have owned and run 2 successful businesses which i sold for very decent profits, i am now involved in a number of projects overseas, and by the time i hit 30 next year i should have net assets of over 1M and zero debt. This will make me a millionare by 30 when almost everybody told me i would amount to shit.

The Op said he lacks brains so has given up on ever making anything of himself. I dont agree with this at all. He just has to find the thing he is really good at. It took me a lot of time to find out what i was good at but eventually i did. I tried various things and failed but kept getting up for more. I knew i just had to find the right thing for me. People told me to stop wasting my time and money on crazy ideas and just find a regular 9-5 job. I felt sorry for those people. I still do.

Oh, and being shit at school doesn't actually mean you lack intelligence. The OP just needs to find something that stimulates him and he will soon find out that he is not stupid.

I wish him luck.

I wasn't talking about the OP. Congratulations on your progress in life. You were obviously not stupid though, just had other things to worry about at the time.

 

[smasha]

This is a cop out imo. I was a C grade student and never really cared for school. I was told that i would never amount to anything. Left school before completing my VCE because my mum was very sick and i wanted to get a job to help pay her medical expenses.

First job was working in a factory for peanuts. I was told that this is what the future holds for me. Even my old man told me that this was my destiny. He was a blue collar worker that also left school early so in his mind this was the only outcome for people like us.

I had two choices. First choice was to listen to what people were telling me and make nothing out of my life. The other choice was to back myself and believe that i could do whatever i wanted. This is the hardest choice because it takes hard work and dedication. Most people take the easy option because it doesn't involve risk.

Now at the age of 29 i have owned and run 2 successful businesses which i sold for very decent profits, i am now involved in a number of projects overseas, and by the time i hit 30 next year i should have net assets of over 1M and zero debt. This will make me a millionare by 30 when almost everybody told me i would amount to shit.

The Op said he lacks brains so has given up on ever making anything of himself. I dont agree with this at all. He just has to find the thing he is really good at. It took me a lot of time to find out what i was good at but eventually i did. I tried various things and failed but kept getting up for more. I knew i just had to find the right thing for me. People told me to stop wasting my time and money on crazy ideas and just find a regular 9-5 job. I felt sorry for those people. I still do.

Oh, and being shit at school doesn't actually mean you lack intelligence. The OP just needs to find something that stimulates him and he will soon find out that he is not stupid.

I wish him luck.

I hated school.

The only thing I'm good at is drumming.

I'm useless at everything else.

Can't even discuss my footy team much because I don't know much because of my limited intelligence.

The last thing I want is to be in a band again.

Sitting in a corner while the brainy ones walk all over you.

I've been screwed by bands because I'm not a businessmens arseh*le.

"Oh,but you're a wonderful drummer"

**** OFF.

And I'm a prog rock fan of the 70s so my choices of finding a band into that music are down to **** all.

 

[smasha]

SirJimi05 ,you have money skills and business skills inside.

I am so anti business and money skills, I wouldn't be able to achieve what you have done in a million years.


If you are born with money skills in this world,you are set.

Plus todays world is so sad compared to the 70s.

Music is a poor imitation.

Look at The Beatles,Pink Floyd,Genesis,Jethro Tull,The Beach Boys,Fleetwood Mac ,the list goes on and on and on and compare that to todays inferior product.

 

[Docker Clint]

SirJimi05 ,you have money skills and business skills inside.

I am so anti business and money skills, I wouldn't be able to achieve what you have done in a million years.


If you are born with money skills in this world,you are set.

This is very true. I'm extremely good at what I do but my business acumen is appalling.

Dick Smith started off tinkering around with radios. There's plenty of blokes who did that when they were kids but not many are multi millionaires.

Sure there are business courses but certain people have a flair for business and unless you have that, you're not going to rich and retired at 35. You can go to the gym, workout, run for miles, practice your kicking all day etc but that doesn't mean you can be an AFL footballer.

But as SirJimi said, it is a cop out but to a certain extent, there's absolutely no reason why you cant be successful in a career working for other people, own a nice home etc.

 

[pacemaker]

Yeah **** it, sucks massive balls

why bother? steps don't really work

 

[magic_johnson!]

First of all; I'm no scientist or the like, but I've got some advice none-the-less.

If you don't play sport; get involved. Go join a footy club or soccer club and just enjoy every moment (eg. kicking a goal from 45m, etc). Then once you start to really enjoy it, you'll work yourself harder to get better and better and then goals will start entering your mind (eg. I want to run 3k under 5mins next month , etc). Push yourself to get to training, socials and trivia nights and you'll start to realise how rewarding & enjoyable life can be. Healthy body = Healthy mind in my books.

But you could walk away from that thinking "if i can't even play ____ at this level i must be worthless"

 

[BigBadCam]

But you could walk away from that thinking "if i can't even play ____ at this level i must be worthless"

When you're depressed, sport becomes the only thing keeping you happy and it's a dangerous trap to fall into. Work always gets me down first, which then flows into my home life. Getting an adequate amount of sleep at night becomes a chore rather than just something I do normally. It comes 2am and I'm sitting there with thoughts racing through my head, and I'm thinking,
'Just freaking go to sleep!', which just adds to the massive collection of thoughts.

In the end, football becomes the only thing that keeps me happy, and as I said, it's not a good trap to fall into. All it takes is a few bad games and as was suggested there, depression can even creep into that part of your life. A few bad losses, an injury, and you're sinking even further into the abyss. Also, substance abuse is pretty rife round football clubs, so they're probably not the best place to be if your really struggling.

A healthy body is important to a healthy mind, but if you're feeling as ordinary as the OP, it's probably more advantageous to get a gym membership or take up swimming.

 

[smasha]

We really are the worst species on Earth when you look at it.

The way different people are pushed into certain classes.

The ones born with intelligence,get somewhere while the dumbarses have to work harder for the same results.

We are a ****ed up species.

I have been offered a few jobs in bands but have refused because I know,once people work out how dumb I am,they will walk all over me like in the past.

 

[smasha]

When you're depressed, sport becomes the only thing keeping you happy and it's a dangerous trap to fall into. Work always gets me down first, which then flows into my home life. Getting an adequate amount of sleep at night becomes a chore rather than just something I do normally. It comes 2am and I'm sitting there with thoughts racing through my head, and I'm thinking,
'Just freaking go to sleep!', which just adds to the massive collection of thoughts.

In the end, football becomes the only thing that keeps me happy, and as I said, it's not a good trap to fall into. All it takes is a few bad games and as was suggested there, depression can even creep into that part of your life. A few bad losses, an injury, and you're sinking even further into the abyss. Also, substance abuse is pretty rife round football clubs, so they're probably not the best place to be if your really struggling.

A healthy body is important to a healthy mind, but if you're feeling as ordinary as the OP, it's probably more advantageous to get a gym membership or take up swimming.

I hate going to public places like gyms and swimming pools.

I would have to skull a few beers to get my confidence up.

 

[Zarrix]

I hate going to public places like gyms and swimming pools.

I would have to skull a few beers to get my confidence up.

Certain public places horrify me like no end. For example, I haven't been to a beach in 5 years. Never been to a pub or gym or nightclub.

 

[Power King]

Certain public places horrify me like no end. For example, I haven't been to a beach in 5 years. Never been to a pub or gym or nightclub.

Why do they 'horrify' you?

Simply trying to get a better understanding.

 

[BigBadCam]

Why do they 'horrify' you?

Simply trying to get a better understanding.

Personally, I just don't like them. Have a mate though who got the shit punched out of him in town one night when he was 18 out of the blue, and he's scared to death of crowds. He's always edgy and thinks that everyone is out to get him. I've got other friends though who just hate themselves, and worry incessantly about making a fool of themselves if they ever talked to someone. In reality, sitting around worrying about acting like a fool, they look like fools anyway...

 

[Power King]

^So confidence is one issue (your latter examples).

With the former, I can understand that (being beaten up and then being reluctant to go to similar places in the future).

However, going to a shopping centre at noon is very different to going to say a drunkard brawling city street at midnight, and so you still get people that just don't like public places altogether, regardless of any difference between locations.

Still interested in the thoughts of those who experience these things themselves if they want to share.

 

[BigBadCam]

^So confidence is one issue (your latter examples).

With the former, I can understand that (being beaten up and then being reluctant to go to similar places in the future).

However, going to a shopping centre at noon is very different to going to say a drunkard brawling city street at midnight, and so you still get people that just don't like public places altogether, regardless of any difference between locations.

Still interested in the thoughts of those who experience these things themselves if they want to share.

Well I just hate people and would much rather sit around by myself than have to deal with them. The world is a shit place full of shit people, but we are forced to coexist with them the best we can in something called society. If I can avoid it though, I would much rather sit round doing my own thing as the world passes me by and people mill around like ants. As long as I'm doing well I couldn't really give a shit about other people. But yeh, I'm assuming you're after the other guy's opinion.

 

[Power King]

^I didn't realise you were also talking about yourself in your previous post...

By your first sentence, I thought you meant the people that didn't like public places.

 

[BigBadCam]

^I didn't realise you were also talking about yourself in your previous post...

By your first sentence, I thought you meant the people that didn't like public places.

The ones above were other people. I just thought I'd share personal experiences with you on the last post.

 

[Zarrix]

Why do they 'horrify' you?

Simply trying to get a better understanding.

The social and judgmental cultures associated with those places.

 

[NiceCunnington]

How is everyone doing?

For me this is definitely the worst time of the year .

Things are going downhill pretty fast and I think I will be spending Christmas on my own for the first time.

 

[BigBadCam]

How is everyone doing?

For me this is definitely the worst time of the year .

Things are going downhill pretty fast and I think I will be spending Christmas on my own for the first time.

Yeh me too, but I`m happy with that. Just another day.

 

[Ebert80]

How is everyone doing?

For me this is definitely the worst time of the year .

Things are going downhill pretty fast and I think I will be spending Christmas on my own for the first time.

Howdy mate,

Do you have any family you can spend time with for xmas?

 

[Hawks1523]

How is everyone doing?

For me this is definitely the worst time of the year .

Things are going downhill pretty fast and I think I will be spending Christmas on my own for the first time.

Hate this time of year mate.

I'm spending Christmas eve working. Then lunch with my mum, and spending everything after it on my own too. I jsut have everything about the day.