- Banned
- #1,476
How were authorities alerted of your situation?
Only asking because I feel I need something drastic like this to happen to me for somebody to fking help me
Health Depression
- Thread starter smasha
- Start date
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Only asking because I feel I need something drastic like this to happen to me for somebody to fking help me
Sausages
HIGH PRIEST IN THE TEMPLE OF GG/SNSD
- Feb 27, 2007
- 6,397
- 9,189
- AFL Club
- Brisbane Lions
- Other Teams
- Luton Town
First off mate - you might think you do, but you don't. Honestly.
Head to a mental health crisis support facility BEFORE getting the ambos/police to come to your place. I say this fully aware that your pain is like burning fire inside your heart.
In my case....photos of 24 knife wounds on my arms, blood all over my computer desk is how my mates knew something was wrong. I have more scars on me, all self-inflicted over the years than I like to look at. Some needed stitching, others not.
So...YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO THERE.
Pain is always relative - nobody is in 'more pain' than anyone else....what one person finds a featherweight, another sees an anvil of iron.
But - get to some crisis support FIRST. Don't self harm as a way of dealing with your pain. It's nothing to do with it being a cowards way or anything like that - its about recognising that you need help BEFORE it gets to the point where it seems like the only thing you can do.
I cannot BEGIN to think of the trouble and difficulties I would have avoided IF I had listened to this kind of advice - but when it was given I'd do the old man trick of saying..."I can hack it, she'll be right".....and that works....until it doesn't. And by then it's often too late.
Get Lifeline on the phone, right now mate. It's a start and it will help. Even if you THINK it doesn't help RIGHT AWAY, it will, in 5 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour. You'll start to FEEL that things COULD BE DIFFERENT to how they are - and that's not being "cured" - that's just the sunshine illuminating a way forward that isn't lit by sirens.
- Apr 2, 2013
- 10,981
- 16,393
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
No. But am willing. Even a bit of dope. I just don't know where to score.
Scrap that last year I almost bought coke from a random dude at a train station....... in full view of surveillance cameras and the police sting which he idiotically and arrogantly willfully ignored or stupidly didn't notice.
Even a bit of dope to take the edge off to keep the motor running would help. Just don't mix in those circles. (Plus the booze/anti d <history> has left me paranoid to the degree that even scoring a joint would have me fearful that a goon squad would jump out at me and haul me off.
- Apr 2, 2013
- 10,981
- 16,393
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
Don't seriously don't. It all goes on record. I once dated a psychologist who knew my at that stage brief history before i bought it up.
Find someone you can trust first.
Or better yet don't worry. You are perfectly normal. Survival is simply half the job most of the time. Just keep trucking and live life on your own terms.
Coke from a random dude at a train station must be stepped on a million times
Have also heard people say good things about LSD and ketamine, in fact I believe they are doing studies on ketamine and depression.
U just have to be really careful with drugs, they may help in the short term but they can also go the other other way and make things worse.
Be smart.
I just wish i could have a drink to take the edge off each day. Help me relax a little and be less tense and anxious.
But I cannot drink due to alcohol allergy.
But I cannot drink due to alcohol allergy.
- Banned
- #1,483
lol
- Banned
- #1,484
Depression is even worse when you feel that you can't turn to to anyone, it just eat away at you. especially for guys, society feels that they should expect guys to "man" up and deals with it which is complete cack, we all need a cuddle now and then.
Sausages
HIGH PRIEST IN THE TEMPLE OF GG/SNSD
- Feb 27, 2007
- 6,397
- 9,189
- AFL Club
- Brisbane Lions
- Other Teams
- Luton Town
Was back in hospital yesterday, cops and ambos AGAIN.
Drove a 4 inch knife through my wrist, nearly hit the jackpot. The knife almost went through all the way, massively deep cut.
* I hate being alive. No idea why I get up everyday. None at all.
Drove a 4 inch knife through my wrist, nearly hit the jackpot. The knife almost went through all the way, massively deep cut.
* I hate being alive. No idea why I get up everyday. None at all.
- Apr 2, 2013
- 10,981
- 16,393
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
Man that's rough.
Get a good lawyer. Cops have no right to detain you if you are not a threat to anyyone else.
I won't preach but will say life is s**t at times. But ultimately it is your life. Do what makes you happy. Just don't hurt others and the world can be your oyster. Just try not to draw attention to yourself.
- Apr 2, 2013
- 10,981
- 16,393
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
As for depression I can't advise. Didn't someone on here say f it and travel once upon a time.
I simply can't bullshit. Yes jobs are hard to find. Yes people are arseholes. No you can't wipe the past. All you can do is keep trucking along, hope things turn and set your own agenda. You are the master of your destiny no one else.
I simply can't bullshit. Yes jobs are hard to find. Yes people are arseholes. No you can't wipe the past. All you can do is keep trucking along, hope things turn and set your own agenda. You are the master of your destiny no one else.
Power Raid
We Exist To Win Premierships
Just lost a friend over night to the illness.
The warning signs were there in hindsight with boob jobs, face lifts etc. I thought it was just a girl struggling to come to terms with ageing. But clearly it was struggling with life itself.
It's a hollow feeling
The warning signs were there in hindsight with boob jobs, face lifts etc. I thought it was just a girl struggling to come to terms with ageing. But clearly it was struggling with life itself.
It's a hollow feeling
- Oct 20, 2014
- 18,390
- 19,525
- AFL Club
- Hawthorn
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- Liverpool
Sorry about that, Power Raid.
Sausages
HIGH PRIEST IN THE TEMPLE OF GG/SNSD
- Feb 27, 2007
- 6,397
- 9,189
- AFL Club
- Brisbane Lions
- Other Teams
- Luton Town
I am a warrior.
I endure, when others fall.
On this field,
the wolves surround me,
baying for blood,
hounding me until I fall.
But I will not fall, wolves...
For the blood of kings
runs in my veins.
Dripping to the ground,
red, the colour of valour
and of victory.
So come, wolves...
and meet my teeth.
Cornered, with none to
succour 'cept myself.
I will prevail.
Though the future
be uncertain,
I will seek the daffodils
to scent,
and the bees
to chase,
in the sunlight.
I endure, when others fall.
On this field,
the wolves surround me,
baying for blood,
hounding me until I fall.
But I will not fall, wolves...
For the blood of kings
runs in my veins.
Dripping to the ground,
red, the colour of valour
and of victory.
So come, wolves...
and meet my teeth.
Cornered, with none to
succour 'cept myself.
I will prevail.
Though the future
be uncertain,
I will seek the daffodils
to scent,
and the bees
to chase,
in the sunlight.
It sounds like you do like being alive. I get the feeling if you didn't want to be here, by now you would not be. Sounds like you have something to live for
Sausages
HIGH PRIEST IN THE TEMPLE OF GG/SNSD
- Feb 27, 2007
- 6,397
- 9,189
- AFL Club
- Brisbane Lions
- Other Teams
- Luton Town
It sounds like you do like being alive. I get the feeling if you didn't want to be here, by now you would not be. Sounds like you have something to live for
Because I'm a fighter dude.
No other reason - but there are times when I wish I wasn't.
Sorry for being intrusive, but you don't have anything else to live for? Family? Partner? Pets? Travel?
and if you do not, maybe go volunteer? teach an immigrant English, work at an aged home, something where you increase someone else's happiness. over time, it may increase yours.
Sausages
HIGH PRIEST IN THE TEMPLE OF GG/SNSD
- Feb 27, 2007
- 6,397
- 9,189
- AFL Club
- Brisbane Lions
- Other Teams
- Luton Town
No mate - 20+ years estranged from family, speak a couple of times a year. Brother took a power saw to his heart in 2007, that was the last time I saw most of my family. No partner etc.
Travel is only a possibility if I sell everything, as I live fortnight to fortnight on a pension. And then there's the psychology of travel - I struggle to even do the shopping, sooooo many people and things.
And I'd love to volunteer for things.....but.....frightened.
If any of you remember 'Who can it be now' by Men At Work.....yeah, I live like that. Constantly on edge, nervous, anxious, worried, scared....and that's a GOOD day. On a bad day.....well, those are the self harm days
I try to keep positive....alot of folks are WAY worse off than I am. But, each day is a real struggle. Went manic yesterday and was going to drive to Brisbane, sell my hilux and board a flight to Bangkok. Was packing up, throwing out s**t, the works. I wake up today, and look around my house....it's like a bomb has gone off, s**t everywhere, my hilux has stuff hanging out the windows ffs.....so, today, I either go through with it, or start to unpack and reorganise my house again. Neither one makes me feel any better, as I write this my heart is hammering, the fear coming on like a tab of acid.....
This is living, with a very swift cycling bipolar disorder....where being depressed is sometimes safer than not being depressed and being alone and isolated is safer and easier to deal with than having people around me. Imagine if you were afflicted with a tourette's-like syndrome, where you lashed out at people you love and care about, and then would feel the terrible weight of responsibility for your actions after an episode....that's what bipolar is like. When I am manic, I drag other people into my maniacal world and then feel the horrible reality I created afterwards....pain just multiplies upon pain.......
Last edited:
- Oct 20, 2014
- 18,390
- 19,525
- AFL Club
- Hawthorn
- Other Teams
- Liverpool
* me. That is terrible mate. I get anxiety but nothing like even a fraction of this. Depression isn't a problem for me even though I get a little down sometimes because of my shaky hands. Caffeine makes it worse but I love having a few cans of coke and a few cappuccinos each week.No mate - 20+ years estranged from family, speak a couple of times a year. Brother took a power saw to his heart in 2007, that was the last time I saw most of my family. No partner etc.
Travel is only a possibility if I sell everything, as I live fortnight to fortnight on a pension. And then there's the psychology of travel - I struggle to even do the shopping, sooooo many people and things.
And I'd love to volunteer for things.....but.....frightened.
If any of you remember 'Who can it be now' by Men At Work.....yeah, I live like that. Constantly on edge, nervous, anxious, worried, scared....and that's a GOOD day. On a bad day.....well, those are the self harm days
I try to keep positive....alot of folks are WAY worse off than I am. But, each day is a real struggle. Went manic yesterday and was going to drive to Brisbane, sell my hilux and board a flight to Bangkok. Was packing up, throwing out s**t, the works. I wake up today, and look around my house....it's like a bomb has gone off, s**t everywhere, my hilux has stuff hanging out the windows ffs.....so, today, I either go through with it, or start to unpack and reorganise my house again. Neither one makes me feel any better, as I write this my heart is hammering, the fear coming on like a tab of acid.....
This is living.
No mate - 20+ years estranged from family, speak a couple of times a year. Brother took a power saw to his heart in 2007, that was the last time I saw most of my family. No partner etc.
Travel is only a possibility if I sell everything, as I live fortnight to fortnight on a pension. And then there's the psychology of travel - I struggle to even do the shopping, sooooo many people and things.
And I'd love to volunteer for things.....but.....frightened.
If any of you remember 'Who can it be now' by Men At Work.....yeah, I live like that. Constantly on edge, nervous, anxious, worried, scared....and that's a GOOD day. On a bad day.....well, those are the self harm days
I try to keep positive....alot of folks are WAY worse off than I am. But, each day is a real struggle. Went manic yesterday and was going to drive to Brisbane, sell my hilux and board a flight to Bangkok. Was packing up, throwing out s**t, the works. I wake up today, and look around my house....it's like a bomb has gone off, s**t everywhere, my hilux has stuff hanging out the windows ffs.....so, today, I either go through with it, or start to unpack and reorganise my house again. Neither one makes me feel any better, as I write this my heart is hammering, the fear coming on like a tab of acid.....
I don't want to sound like I'm encouraging it. But if it feels like your life is this bad, what have you got to lose by selling your hilux and travelling? Can you sell your hilux, buy something cheaper and then use the leftover cash to travel? So at least you've got a car to come back to... Just on the volunteering stuff, there's the opportunity to visit schools over in Thailand which can give you a great cultural experience and a newfound appreciation of life in Oz.
Sausages
HIGH PRIEST IN THE TEMPLE OF GG/SNSD
- Feb 27, 2007
- 6,397
- 9,189
- AFL Club
- Brisbane Lions
- Other Teams
- Luton Town
I have my house on the market atm. So, the idea is to just sell up everything and travel - but is this an idea born of a sane, sound mind, am I depressed and running away or is this mania? This is the problem with 'making plans' - you can never be sure, the edge of paranoia is just THERE.
Every time I think the idea through....I end up in SF, at the Golden Gate bridge after a while.....it's just garbage, when you cannot even trust your own mind :/
And no mate, you aren't encouraging it.
Anything in particular make you feel this way? is it part of a long standing problem or anything that happened recently?
