Health Depression

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Walked out of my psychologists office mid-appointment today. Had been getting annoyed with what I felt was a lack of basic listening and understanding of what I was saying for a few weeks now, and despite my best efforts to explain that to them, nothing was changing. Normally I would've just sat there, mumbled out some answers and left feeling even worse than when I had gone in, but I just couldn't do it this time.

They sent a message after I left, with some nonsense about a wall of anger being the problem. I, ironically out of the anger that the message had created in me, sent back a message saying I wouldn't be back because I hadn't been listened to, blah, blah, blah.

No idea if I made the right call. I may be ******. But it did feel good to walk out of a room on my own accord that always seemed impossible to leave.

(Sorry, just wanted to vent somewhere)
Hey mate. It’s difficult to find someone you can trust/feel comfortable talking to - especially if you feel they are not listening.
I would encourage you to approach another Psych.
 

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Run n Spread

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Agree, vigorous exercise can be great for it, I've been doing yoga lately and it's terrific as well.
I do some exercise but too much and I get injured easily and exhausted. Just have to see out this contract at work (haven't saved enough which is stressing me as I don't know where my next job is or if I need to move get a new car etc). Just trying to do my best see how the footy turns out (nice distraction)
then have space to figure something out.

Find I can't multi task. Just too hard
 
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jason pm

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I do some exercise but too much and I get injured easily and exhausted. Just have to see out this contract at work (haven't saved enough which is stressing me as I don't know where my next job is or if I need to move get a new car etc). Just trying to do my best see how the footy turns out then have space to figure something out.

Find I can't multi task. Just too hard
Hang in there mate, I hope everything works out for you.
 

Cager Macleod

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Some part of me thinks that that suicidal voice will always be in my head no matter how well things are going.
Everything can be going along nicely but then I will still have that voice in the back of my head that tells me I should jump off of the Westgate bridge.

But what I have noticed now is that voice isn't as loud anymore and it's more of a whisper than an overwhelming thought. I guess that's something that will always be there.
 

Mootsy

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I do some exercise but too much and I get injured easily and exhausted. Just have to see out this contract at work (haven't saved enough which is stressing me as I don't know where my next job is or if I need to move get a new car etc). Just trying to do my best see how the footy turns out (nice distraction)
then have space to figure something out.

Find I can't multi task. Just too hard
Oh man do I know the feeling....

I’m thinking of just resigning. Just to get some mental clarity.
 

Cuzz09

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No point quitting your job without a backup ready. Take a few "mental health" days off. A lot of workplaces these days have councelling type things you can call. Use these then your work cant use any drop off in performance as a reason to sack you.

I haven't used them but have been reading up. These days its not looked down upon like it was years ago

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app
 

Rooz90

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No point quitting your job without a backup ready. Take a few "mental health" days off. A lot of workplaces these days have councelling type things you can call. Use these then your work cant use any drop off in performance as a reason to sack you.

I haven't used them but have been reading up. These days its not looked down upon like it was years ago

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app
I'm on the brink of quitting my job as well. My job doesn't have counselling, they don't encourage even mental health days. I'm left in an office no bigger than a shipping container (its a start up business) by myself with no human interaction other than phone call, email kind of thing. My supervisors are on the road and never in.

Being alone, no guidance has just deflated me where i have no choice.

I'm still at home with savings and rainy day cash. Just no plan B job.
 

Run n Spread

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Some part of me thinks that that suicidal voice will always be in my head no matter how well things are going.
Everything can be going along nicely but then I will still have that voice in the back of my head that tells me I should jump off of the Westgate bridge.

But what I have noticed now is that voice isn't as loud anymore and it's more of a whisper than an overwhelming thought. I guess that's something that will always be there.
Probably. But when life gets hard survival is 3 qs the job. For whatever reason humans have an inbuilt survival mechanism as well as the nuclear option (a self destruct button) for whatever reason. I'm really not one to advise but if things are going well surf the wave. If not all you have to do is just survive.
 

dirty2

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So it's been just over 6 years since this post and after having things go really well for a few years, Thursday saw me have a complete mental breakdown. Standing in the kitchen at work and out of nowhere I started sobbing, from there thoughts turned to grabbing the carving knife out of the drawer and slicing the wrists, then came thoughts of shoving my hands in the flat bed toaster to injure myself. Thankfully before any of that could happen I grabbed my lunch and headed back to my desk thinking I could snap out of it by doing some work, but the sobbing only got worse and the thoughts just kept on coming, like jump in the car and plough into the river nearby and drown myself. Plough the car into a tree and explode in flames. The only thing that stopped me was the picture of my wife and I that sits right beside my screen, looking at that I didn't want to put her through anymore pain and leave her with the 2 boys, so I walk away from my desk to get away from my keys and sent a message saying I can't stop thinking of hurting myself and I'm really sorry.

Out the back the thoughts of self harm kept on coming and I'm looking at photos of my father(who killed himself) and my wife sobbing even more. Thankfully before I could do anything else the ladies that I work with came out and found me and kept me from doing anything. My wife arrived at work shortly after and took me home. Went to the doctors the next morning and doctor was extremely concerned for the state of mind I was in and he had the local mental health unit call me to screen me over the phone to see if anything more was needed. At the moment they haven't locked me away,and I am now on a much stronger medication which has slowed the thoughts of self harm, but they are still there from time to time.

Now some might ask what the **** are you doing on Big Footy after an episode like that, well talking about footy is about the only thing that does help stop the thoughts, when I am on here and engaged in a debate about footy it gives me something else to focus on. Unfortunately it sometimes hinders as some posters think that it is great to make things personal and attack me personally. Thankfully the ignore feature means I don't have to put up with them when I don't want to. But those guys are nothing compared to the other issues that are dogging me.

I'm trying to keep swimming, but at the moment I feel like I'm drowning and there is nobody around to throw me a lifeline, however I am now seeing a psych something that I probably needed to do a few years ago so hopefully that will pull me back around.
Your post made me tear up *that doesn't happen very often* wish you all the best mate
 

_RT_

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Wish i could do the same but feel too trapped to resign, well done!
I know I’d feel better if I left but it’s hard when people rely on you.
I have a wife mortgage and 2 kids who rely on me bringing in money. As my wife said nothing is as important as your own well being.
 

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_RT_

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Your brave... I have written and then deleted many times on this thread about how I feel..
Just do it, getting it off your chest helps. Don't think like your telling the world. Just pretend like you're simply writing a journal.
 

Hap Hapablap

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eight years after i made my first post here i just want to tell those who may be having it hard

there is always light at the end of the tunnel its just up to you how to get there.

i had a roller coaster of a decade or so of hell but i managed to pull through and now deal with situations better. i dont get anxiety anymore or nausea from stress and know how to manage it properly.

the best way to get out of the rot is

1. find what makes you happy
2. eradicate the shit out of your life
3. work on your pros and try to manage your cons
4. always accept yourself as unique.
5. dont let any campaigner to put you down.
6. be yourself. dont be ashamed of it.

i became content with my life only three years ago and progressed phenomenally. but you need to start somewhere

and for those who are really down. i urge you to please speak to someone. even if its a random councillor on the phone. it will do you benefit. dont be ****en afraid.

i have been given the opportunity to be important to my young family and have purpose in this world for not only them but my friends and family. career and money and what not are just bonuses.

today also marks 6 years ive been off anti depressants. a feat considering i lived off them for six years
 

nicky

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Bali. And am not joking. Have been before.

And am going again. Just booked the flight. No accom as yet. But just need a bed and beach.
Awesome that is so great. Having something like this to look forward to is great.

You jave given me an idea. I need to think of aomething to look forward to.
 

nicky

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2016 was a very shit year for me and then to top it off when my life long sister friend cousin took her life, well this broke my heart into a gazillion pieces. This experience has derailed me and gradually isolated me from some friends because i am not the same as the person they knew.

I have been going through debilitating depression for most of the past 2.5 years. I have spurts of good but mostly clinically depressed and functioning at a very low level.

I spoke to someone who gave me the name of someone that specialises in grief. I will give her a go.

It just seems that my life is slipping down further and further to isolation and hopelessness and there isnt much i can do. I have always had anxiety but this is getting worse whereby i am gradually socialising less and less. Now the thought of doing something fun makes me feel like i need xanax to cope with the anxiety of being around lots of people.

Yeah, life a little bit sucks sometimes.
 

Run n Spread

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It just seems that my life is slipping down further and further to isolation and hopelessness and there isnt much i can do. I have always had anxiety but this is getting worse whereby i am gradually socialising less and less. Now the thought of doing something fun makes me feel like i need xanax to cope with the anxiety of being around lots of people.
Yeah, life a little bit sucks sometimes.
I get that. I really do. Myself I tried something that didn't work so thought **** it. It is not getting better. It really is disappointing. No point disputing that.

But is there something (else) you want to do? Something you regretted not doing in the past and maybe it past you by but you can half remedy now or a new step you can take? So just do it? Or you're in a funk of a different nature that you want to snap out of so just go for it.
 

nicky

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I get that. I really do. Myself I tried something that didn't work so thought **** it. It is not getting better. It really is disappointing. No point disputing that.

But is there something (else) you want to do? Something you regretted not doing in the past and maybe it past you by but you can half remedy now or a new step you can take? So just do it? Or you're in a funk of a different nature that you want to snap out of so just go for it.
I am not enjoying things i used to. I rarely have the urge to paint and draw. I feel isolated even when i am around people. I feel like i am a burden to prople that love me because they care but don't know how to help which makes me act fake to give the impression i am doing better than i am. So this creates an isolating experience when i am with these people.

I am doing all the wrong things, eating shit food, not exercising or going to yoga, streamin dumb shit to binge on and isolating myself. My body and mind feels like lead. I feel very weighed down.
 

Kram

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I am not enjoying things i used to. I rarely have the urge to paint and draw. I feel isolated even when i am around people. I feel like i am a burden to prople that love me because they care but don't know how to help which makes me act fake to give the impression i am doing better than i am. So this creates an isolating experience when i am with these people.

I am doing all the wrong things, eating shit food, not exercising or going to yoga, streamin dumb shit to binge on and isolating myself. My body and mind feels like lead. I feel very weighed down.
Do you still swim? I find that helps with a lot of things.
 
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