Health Depression

MannumPower

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 15, 2006
14,930
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Mannum
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Port Adelaide
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I love the concept of RUOK day but for someone like me who has distanced himself from most friends he’s ever made the day is insignificant. Looking through my phone I haven’t received a text or call from a friend in over 6 months , my own fault for just staying away from everyone for so long That most people just gave up on my friendship. I’ve had the worst 12 months of my life and only my wife knows as she’s the one who saved me from making a horrible mistake. I’m in a much better place now thankfully , but days like today make me realise how lonely I am.
 

Rich the babe Evans

Team Captain
Dec 30, 2018
455
981
City Park
AFL Club
Hawthorn
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NQC, NP & Jack O'Grady
I love the concept of RUOK day but for someone like me who has distanced himself from most friends he’s ever made the day is insignificant.
I agree the concept is great, but I don't think it's meant for poor lonely suckers like us. I just can't contemplate telling a friend what I'm going through, but I guess I don't have any friends... So maybe that's why.
 
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MannumPower

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 15, 2006
14,930
12,313
Mannum
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
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Alberton Swamprats, Sunderland
I agree the concept is great, but I don't think it's meant for poor lonely suckers like us. I just can't contemplate telling a friend what I'm going through, but I guess I don't have any friends... So maybe that's why.
Yeah I think all my friends are just aquaintences now. And if people did ask if I was ok I’d probably say I was. I have however found this forum and beyond blues forum a good way of getting things off my chest.
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,015
6,886
AFL Club
Collingwood
I love the concept of RUOK day but for someone like me who has distanced himself from most friends he’s ever made the day is insignificant. Looking through my phone I haven’t received a text or call from a friend in over 6 months , my own fault for just staying away from everyone for so long That most people just gave up on my friendship. I’ve had the worst 12 months of my life and only my wife knows as she’s the one who saved me from making a horrible mistake. I’m in a much better place now thankfully , but days like today make me realise how lonely I am.
I'm a bit the same and I have distanced and find it hard to pick up the thread.

And I get it r u ok is a bit tokenistic as is you say r u OK? No? Then What?

I suppose it's more about trying to promote mental health and helping people who need it rather than the harden up of the old days. Not a bad thing.

We all have days where you realise how vulnerable you can be. I've had a few and done a few stupid things lately. And not all my current circumstances are great but you push on as best you can.
 

MannumPower

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 15, 2006
14,930
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So after posting how little people keep in contact with me now , I see on Facebook today the best man from my wedding and three good school mates all having a boys weekend away. Five odd years ago I would have been included, now nothing not sure if it’s my fault, theirs or both, feel a bit numb about it. Only 6 months ago I saw my best man who was struggling and I reached out to him but nothing since.... part of me wants to comment on the post and go wtf where’s my invite but then I think would I have gone anyway as I get so much anxiety going out which is why they don’t bother me anymore. Depression ******* sucks
 

Genghis Tron

لقد اتسخ
Apr 6, 2020
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Richmond
So after posting how little people keep in contact with me now , I see on Facebook today the best man from my wedding and three good school mates all having a boys weekend away. Five odd years ago I would have been included, now nothing not sure if it’s my fault, theirs or both, feel a bit numb about it. Only 6 months ago I saw my best man who was struggling and I reached out to him but nothing since.... part of me wants to comment on the post and go wtf where’s my invite but then I think would I have gone anyway as I get so much anxiety going out which is why they don’t bother me anymore. Depression ******* sucks
I know exactly how you feel mate, but I do think it's important to remember that it can be incredibly tough maintaining a relationship with someone who is suffering. They are only human and we can sometimes give the vibe that we'd rather not be included. Not saying you are, but I've seen others harbour resentment against others in these situations and it only helps further that distance that we can often feel between us and those around us.

I don't think it's any one person's fault in these situations. It's more of a symptom of the lack of understanding around it all. While I don't think it's any one person's fault, sometimes reaching out and apologising for any distant behaviour/thanking people for being there when they were can go a long way to creating a level of understanding between friends.

But I'm sorry to hear that mate, it's always f’ed up when friendships start being tested by mental bullshit. The only thing we can do is try and step back and view it without the blinders of personal ties and try and find a place we can begin to repair.
 

MannumPower

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 15, 2006
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I know exactly how you feel mate, but I do think it's important to remember that it can be incredibly tough maintaining a relationship with someone who is suffering. They are only human and we can sometimes give the vibe that we'd rather not be included. Not saying you are, but I've seen others harbour resentment against others in these situations and it only helps further that distance that we can often feel between us and those around us.

I don't think it's any one person's fault in these situations. It's more of a symptom of the lack of understanding around it all. While I don't think it's any one person's fault, sometimes reaching out and apologising for any distant behaviour/thanking people for being there when they were can go a long way to creating a level of understanding between friends.

But I'm sorry to hear that mate, it's always f’ed up when friendships start being tested by mental bullshit. The only thing we can do is try and step back and view it without the blinders of personal ties and try and find a place we can begin to repair.
Oh I’ve definitely caused the breakdown, guess that’s what makes it worse, I self sabotage so much good stuff in my life it’s become a damn habit. Then I sit and dwell on things and the self talk in the head and so on ...sigh. This is what people don’t get , they see a guy working his dream job, 3 great kids, awesome supportive wife , dream house and property, financially secure but inside I’m broken into so many pieces and I feel darkness around me all the time. We push people away but in fact we want them more in our lives ... I get so tired of these battles
 

Genghis Tron

لقد اتسخ
Apr 6, 2020
2,001
3,889
AFL Club
Richmond
Oh I’ve definitely caused the breakdown, guess that’s what makes it worse, I self sabotage so much good stuff in my life it’s become a damn habit. Then I sit and dwell on things and the self talk in the head and so on ...sigh. This is what people don’t get , they see a guy working his dream job, 3 great kids, awesome supportive wife , dream house and property, financially secure but inside I’m broken into so many pieces and I feel darkness around me all the time. We push people away but in fact we want them more in our lives ... I get so tired of these battles
I wish there was something I could say that would offer some comfort but we both know no such magical combination of words exist. Stay strong mate, you've made it this far and by the sounds of it you've had a few wins along the way.
 

Macpotata

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 22, 2017
9,200
10,351
AFL Club
Geelong
Oh I’ve definitely caused the breakdown, guess that’s what makes it worse, I self sabotage so much good stuff in my life it’s become a damn habit. Then I sit and dwell on things and the self talk in the head and so on ...sigh. This is what people don’t get , they see a guy working his dream job, 3 great kids, awesome supportive wife , dream house and property, financially secure but inside I’m broken into so many pieces and I feel darkness around me all the time. We push people away but in fact we want them more in our lives ... I get so tired of these battles
hey mate ill post more in depth at a later date. For now though try these things consistently


get a lot of fresh air and sunshine
meditate
cut down on caffeine and none after 11 am
regular exercise
massage
no phone's or emails a fair while before bed time
regular sleep pattern



The key is to get yourself grounded and get yourself out of your head. Speak soon pal, all the best.
 

MannumPower

Brownlow Medallist
Dec 15, 2006
14,930
12,313
Mannum
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Port Adelaide
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Alberton Swamprats, Sunderland
hey mate ill post more in depth at a later date. For now though try these things consistently


get a lot of fresh air and sunshine
meditate
cut down on caffeine and none after 11 am
regular exercise
massage
no phone's or emails a fair while before bed time
regular sleep pattern



The key is to get yourself grounded and get yourself out of your head. Speak soon pal, all the best.
You nailed it at the end there about getting yourself out of your head. The be done the mind power course which helped immensely but line the roller coaster of life that we’re on sometimes the ride isn’t that enjoyable. I think just posting on here is really valuable for me as it’s a bit of a journal, it’s non judgemental and allows me to just get stuff off my mind.
 

Metalcrusher

Bush Chook
Jan 22, 2015
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Carlton
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You nailed it at the end there about getting yourself out of your head. The be done the mind power course which helped immensely but line the roller coaster of life that we’re on sometimes the ride isn’t that enjoyable. I think just posting on here is really valuable for me as it’s a bit of a journal, it’s non judgemental and allows me to just get stuff off my mind.
Good onya mate!
 

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