Health Depression

[raskolnikov]

As an adult its being treated like shit from mangement, coz they think your an absolute idiot who cant do anything right.
Even now as an adult i get paranoid about simple things and i get really anxious.

I so relate to this. It's probably why I hate my job so much. I have a Masters degree and fifteent years experience yet I feel like admin always treat me like a total idiot. They are so condescending it's not funny.

Losing my brother and dad in a car accident, plus growing up gay in an extremely fundamentalist Christian household have contributed to my depression over the years.

The funny thing is most people find me to be an extremely easygoing, fun guy to be around. I must be wearing a hell of a mask.

 

[nicky]

I so relate to this. It's probably why I hate my job so much. I have a Masters degree and fifteent years experience yet I feel like admin always treat me like a total idiot. They are so condescending it's not funny.

Losing my brother and dad in a car accident, plus growing up gay in an extremely fundamentalist Christian household have contributed to my depression over the years.

The funny thing is most people find me to be an extremely easygoing, fun guy to be around. I must be wearing a hell of a mask.

I bet you are. You probably see yourself in a negative way because of the way you feel. If that is the feedback you get from people then that is definitely how you're being perceived. There's enough space in you for you to be awesome and vulnerable to depression.

ps. fk the admin staff at your school. They have an inferiority complex.

 

[raskolnikov]

Well it's Sunday night again and I am distraught at the thought of going back tomorrow. I actually spent the afternoon looking for overseas jobs I was so anxious about going back tomorrow.

I've never hated a job so much in my life. I've always suffered from Sundayitis a bit but never like this. I'm paralytic. I really feel like going in tomorrow and quitting and taking an overseas job.

 

[powerful girl]

Well it's Sunday night again and I am distraught at the thought of going back tomorrow. I actually spent the afternoon looking for overseas jobs I was so anxious about going back tomorrow.

I've never hated a job so much in my life. I've always suffered from Sundayitis a bit but never like this. I'm paralytic. I really feel like going in tomorrow and quitting and taking an overseas job.

NO job is worth the way you are feeling, and from the sounds of it, it is not going to get any better, so you might as well give it away now as endure more of the same feelings. I know you might be thinking I can't afford to quit, but ask yourself can you afford to stay?

There are plenty of other options out there, here or overseas, and from what I have read you are educated and WILL find something else more enjoyable and far less stressful.

I know that big changes like this can seem daunting and over whelming, but iIt may just be the change you need to give you a brand new outlook, you might meet some wonderful new people and could turn out to be the best thing you ever did, but even if it doesn't how much worse can it be than what you are going through right now?

All the best with your decisions, I wish you peace and happiness.

 

[shibz_1989]

Doctor changed my medication about a month ago. Went from 10mg Lexapro to 3 days of nothing to 50mg Pristiq for 1 week, now onto 100mg Pristiq. I'm so up and down, which is causing great frustration. Not to mention, work has put my employment on hold/fired me due to an incident that has occurred. No warning, just a phone call. ****.

 

[nicky]

I usually take st johns wort to help with anxiety and sleep but i'm on champax atm so am unable to take SJW. Anyway, work is currently quite stressful, have started looking, but, in the mean time, i cannot get a proper nights sleep. I get home, will fall asleep by 10.30 or so, then wake up at 1 and not be able to fall back asleep.

I have a meeting with this guy who is very senior (but not even my boss) tomorrow morning. He's hard work.. He has the ability to make me feel extremely small - seriously cannot tell you how much i'm dreading our meeting tomorrow. I can see myself tossing and turning all night over this and going into work looking like crap from not sleeping.

Other than that, i actually feel very happy and positive because a. I've booked a trip to NYC and leave in 3 weeks and am actively looking for another job. So I know i wont be stuck here for too many more days/weeks.

 

[raskolnikov]

NO job is worth the way you are feeling, and from the sounds of it, it is not going to get any better, so you might as well give it away now as endure more of the same feelings. I know you might be thinking I can't afford to quit, but ask yourself can you afford to stay?

There are plenty of other options out there, here or overseas, and from what I have read you are educated and WILL find something else more enjoyable and far less stressful.

I know that big changes like this can seem daunting and over whelming, but iIt may just be the change you need to give you a brand new outlook, you might meet some wonderful new people and could turn out to be the best thing you ever did, but even if it doesn't how much worse can it be than what you are going through right now?

All the best with your decisions, I wish you peace and happiness.

Cheers Powerful Girl. I went to my local pub tonight and met a couple of teachers who have both had complete breakdowns from teaching and I thought I do not want to end up like that so it solidified my resolve to quit my job. I have put in a couple of applications for overseas jobs and have a couple of interviews coming up. My big question is do I want to sacrifice my social life, which is really great at the moment for a decent job and great pay. I have something to think about over the next few days.

 

[raskolnikov]

I have a meeting with this guy who is very senior (but not even my boss) tomorrow morning. He's hard work.. He has the ability to make me feel extremely small - seriously cannot tell you how much i'm dreading our meeting tomorrow. I can see myself tossing and turning all night over this and going into work looking like crap from not sleeping.

Gee I hate people who get off on making others feel small. Teaching is so full of this type of people. My principal is actually a fantastic guy and very supportive. It is the middle management that are the pain in the arse. Hope your meeting went well.

I've booked a trip to Russia for the September holidays with two dear friends, both teachers at different schools, which is the only thing keeping me going.

 

[nicky]

Gee I hate people who get off on making others feel small. Teaching is so full of this type of people. My principal is actually a fantastic guy and very supportive. It is the middle management that are the pain in the arse. Hope your meeting went well.

I've booked a trip to Russia for the September holidays with two dear friends, both teachers at different schools, which is the only thing keeping me going.

Yeah ditto.

The thing is with my job that it's not the people who make it bad, but the structure and design of the organisation. The meeting with that guy went well (thanks for asking), I was able to answer all questions to his satisfaction. My issue have with him is that he's too senior for me to deal with. I shouldn't have to deal directly with him and normally there would be a buffer between him and myself - someone who can filter what information he gets. Oh well, not long to go

On top of that, this great lady at work is helping me out of a jam. I felt like hugging her today in a meeting.

Still looking for another job though, I don't care how much I love the people at my work - my love for them didn't stop me from going into a cubicle because i felt like i was going to burst into tears.

Why don't you get a cushy govt job in writing policy for education?

Anyway, your trip sounds fantastic, atleast we have something to look forward too.

 

[raskolnikov]

Why don't you get a cushy govt job in writing policy for education?

Probably because I'm not incompetent.

Seriously, there was a teacher at our school who could not handle the kids. So they took her out of the school and gave her a job in central office writing curriculum.

 

[Lemma]

It's so much easier getting through the hard times in life when you have something to look fwd to

 

[powerful girl]

Cheers Powerful Girl. I went to my local pub tonight and met a couple of teachers who have both had complete breakdowns from teaching and I thought I do not want to end up like that so it solidified my resolve to quit my job. I have put in a couple of applications for overseas jobs and have a couple of interviews coming up. My big question is do I want to sacrifice my social life, which is really great at the moment for a decent job and great pay. I have something to think about over the next few days.

Geez that sucks coz lord knows we need good teachers! Don't worry about leaving a great social life behind, if you are capable of creating that here it is highly likely to follow you wherever you go!

On the middle management issue, I find it is always middle management that are the total tossers, never the ones that have actually made it to high places. They are trying to assert the little power they percieve themselves to have. I see it in my workplace all the time, it is always the team leaders who act like they are ruling the world, I am in a much higher position to them and it just really annoys me how important that they think they are. So maybe while you are still there, try just having a laugh at how ridiculous they are, it might make you feel better.

 

[Hodgepodge]

I tried to committ suicide tuesday night but then i woke up wednesday afternoon and i felt pretty good about life. Just goes to show it's all an illusion.

 

[nicky]

I tried to committ suicide tuesday night but then i woke up wednesday afternoon and i felt pretty good about life. Just goes to show it's all an illusion.

Are you serious? That is pretty intense hodgepodge.

If you can feel that bad I really hope you're taking some type of action to help yourself out.

 

[Hodgepodge]

the depression stuff continued from this tuesday to wednesday, i'm coming out of it a bit now. i tried calling that lifeline but i was on hold for 20 minutes and then i hung up. maybe cos it was after midnite that i called.

 

[nicky]

the depression stuff continued from this tuesday to wednesday, i'm coming out of it a bit now. i tried calling that lifeline but i was on hold for 20 minutes and then i hung up. maybe cos it was after midnite that i called.

st johns wort can help and you can buy it over the counter.

Also you can get government subsidy for psychologist visits.

Other than that excercise etc or psych medication if it will help you.

All the best

 

[Hodgepodge]

I called lifeline last night, and took a day off work today, feel a lot better.

 

[Oct19]

I called lifeline last night, and took a day off work today, feel a lot better.

Did you find that calling Lifeline helped?

I have called them a few times and have always found that just being able to talk to someone does make a difference.

Things haven't been so great for me lately, I just wish I could find a way to balance out the ups and downs. I have made some big changes to my life lately, but still have a long way to go - at least I feel I do, till I will be happy.

 

[nicky]

Awww no Ed that is terrible and it's not stupid, i've felt similar before over a guy.

I dont' know what advice to give because i just felt like shit for 3 to 6 months. I contemplated going to the emergency ward for help because I honestly did not feel like I could go on.

but it's these times that make you find inner resources you didn't know you had and they'll benefit you the rest of your life.

in the mean time, here is a documentary series on 5 different philosophies of happiness.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/philosophy-guide-to-happiness/

ps. Go to croatia, it's brilliant.

 

[nicky]

Hey FERRIS I work for a bank as well and can tell you that "performance managed" mean "managing you out of a job"

I can't get out of the banking industry quick enough. I don't have targets or anything like that but it's never the less very stressful and the environment is toxic (not the people just the processes etc). I have been so stressed lately over work, I'm going on holidays next week and am panicking about the work i'm leaving, it's bullshit. I had 2 job interviews on thursday and due to my stress I've been forgetful and got the times wrong for both interviews.

I really wanted the first one, spent over 6 hours preparing for it and thought the interview was 2 hours later than it actually was. Given that they haven't agreed to make another time i think i've missed that boat.

The second one I thought was half an hour later when it was, so caught a cab and arrived flustered, anxious and 15 minutes late. I've done plenty of panel interviews before and stuffed up enough of them to know that it isn't the end of the world. This one was in a different league. My voice was so anxious that it sounded like i was going to burst into tears. I paused and told them i was nervous. Then my voice got worse and i realised that i was going to burst into tears. I contemplated ending the interview because the situation was awkward for everyone. Anyway I continued and it got better. The thing is I knew the technical content of the job back to front.

However I'm not expecting to hear from them because they will suspect that I cry at the drop of a hat, which i do but never at work! Anyway pretty sure they've crossed "the girl who will probably cry all the time" from their short list. Which is a shame because by all accounts they're a fantastic company to work for.

Moral of the story is banking is fked. The anxiety and stress that led me to stuff up 2 interviews, that i was an absolute shoe in to nail, is a direct result of the crap i'm dealing with at work.

Get out of banking FERRIS, I'm serious

 

[nicky]

Yay the job I really wanted called me back for an interview and I nailed it!!! It was the best panel interview ever because it was at the end of the day and i was flying os the next morning. So felt pretty happy and confident. There was some technical questions I didn't know the answer to and was completely honest that I wasn't qualified or experienced in that aspect but told them what i think it is etc. I had a feeling they were impressed with my honesty.

My "would be" (now is) boss asked how I like to be managed and i said along the lines of that I work better when I have a clear understanding of my roles, responsibilities and the overall objective but included the caveat 'that I know how to be flexible when the situation calls for it'. He then asked "how do you manage your boss" and I said, "i just did"

Most of all i had a great rapport with all of them and worked with that.

I was going to resign before i went on holidays but didn't, now I have to wait until i get back.. It's bad form to hand in your resignation while on holidays, innit?

Damn, I had a feeling I should have resigned.

It's so great that I will be happy with my job in under 2 months

My current job has been making me miserable.

 

[RW]

Congrats, nicky!! No, it's best to wait till you come back from holidays before resigning.

I miss working at a job I'm happy with But I gave myself three years to get the experience and qualifications that I needed to get (I am in tax at a large accounting firm... enough said), and I'm nearly at the end of that now. Just need to hang in there for a bit longer... but on the bad days the soul-destroying nature of the place does get to me. If you are mentally strong, you can survive it, though. And if you can, the rewards are great, because if you've done it right you'll have developed most of the qualities employers look for in applicants.

 

[Stocks_go_Up]

Smile guys
[youtube]mtOhcXhKaRI[/youtube]

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

It's so much easier getting through the hard times in life when you have something to look fwd to

This may sound so stupid to some but my level of happiness tends to depend if I'm feeling loved, well-liked and/or needed by a woman. I am relishing my singleness but there's this large hole in my heart. I think I'm conditioned toward always wanting to be with someone: to love and to be loved.

One day last week, I had this wave of loneliness wash over me, it lasted for almost the whole day, it was horrible.

There's this one woman, I think about her a lot, we had a coffee date yesterday and it was nice but afterwards I came to the conclusion that she's just not 'feeling' it for me the way I am for her.

In a nutshell, I feel very lonely without a significant other in my heart. No sure if this will lead me to depression.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

This may sound so stupid to some but my level of happiness tends to depend if I'm feeling loved, well-liked and/or needed by a woman. I am relishing my singleness but there's this large hole in my heart. I think I'm conditioned toward always wanting to be with someone: to love and to be loved.

One day last week, I had this wave of loneliness wash over me, it lasted for almost the whole day, it was horrible.

There's this one woman, I think about her a lot, we had a coffee date yesterday and it was nice but afterwards I came to the conclusion that she's just not 'feeling' it for me the way I am for her.

In a nutshell, I feel very lonely without a significant other in my heart. No sure if this will lead me to depression.

Haha, no-one gives a shit...