Health Depression

[Run n Spread]

I’m pretty low. The only time I’m halfway content is when I’m with my daughter, but with work (when I go back to it) and only having 50/50 for the past 8 months, it’s far too rare. She left this afternoon and I’m back to hating life. All I can do is count down the hours until I see her again

That's got to be tough. Don't have anything ATM but sorry to hear.

 

[Run n Spread]

Anyone have any idea what it would cost for a year off. As in not a holiday but rent very cheap and just have computer and bed plus phone.
Just want to remove myself totally.
Use the time to find a way to work for myself.
Cant ATM but it's eventually going to be too hard

 

[Shell]

I don't know. Interesting enough a couple of exes have diagnosed me themselves.

Seriously thou when I was growing up there just wasn't the testing or anything.
In answer to your question I probably have traits but not fully. Plus I can disguise it but it gets exhausting. If 1 is able to normally function and interact 10 unable I hover between 6 sometimes 7

Well Im no doctor and i am in no position to say, well anything about yourself.

But going on my experience from working with kids with ASD*- what you describe is pretty much what I have come across, and also what I've learnt in PDs. The extreme tiredness from "masking" traits, etc- to fit in with "regular society". Thats what makes working with children with it so challenging- they just have not learnt to do that yet.

Also the sensitivities to various things- eg, light, sounds, textures. It is another thing that only adds to that exhaustion. I remember asking a guest presenter at a PD to put that into context for us- like its fine to say they're "sensitive" to things but wtf does that mean. She answered "well can you hear that ceiling fan making that clicking sound?" -i had to concentrate and then, yep- there it is, I heard it- "well that could sound more like as if there was a jackhammer being used say, outside the classroom somewhere". Penny dropped for me right there.

I think we all need to be just a little more considerate and accepting of ppl with ASD in general. Because it would be ****ing tough to live that everyday.


*some of the funniest, caring, perceptive,+ smart (usually about the one particular area or subject) kids you will ever meet. When I went away for a term in 2019- the most difficult kid of Year 7-ASD- was the only one to ask me where I went and that he missed me. He was such a handful in Year 7. Eg. At the start of the year he had a fascination with dropping stuff from upstairs where his locker was. Like srsly heavy stuff like his lock ffs- which could have seriously hurt someone. And yeah just very challenging behaviours. I heard he has done a 180 in Year 8- and is doing so much better. I swear, its making me sad now. I wont be back in a weeks time to see them in Year 9.

 

[Shell]

Anyone have any idea what it would cost for a year off. As in not a holiday but rent very cheap and just have computer and bed plus phone.
Just want to remove myself totally.
Use the time to find a way to work for myself.
Cant ATM but it's eventually going to be too hard

Well who knows, depends on the area. 1 BDR apartments are like what, 300 a week minimum, there abouts?

Somewhere in the country areas should be alot cheaper tho.

 

[Cuzz09]

I really could not give a sh*t about anything atm.

Dont have dreams. Or qualifications

I dont have any dreams or goals I just rock up to work and switch completely to robot mode which suits me because it makes my job easier amd blocks outside noise/problems. But sometimes I stay in robot mode for days/weeks after work/weekends and just systematically routinely do the EXACT thing all the time. People show me stuff they find hilarious and the most I show is "hah" or "thats great" with a smirk. I very rarely belly laugh unless Im in my car by myself making up weird songs/noises [emoji23]

 

[Shell]

I dont have any dreams or goals I just rock up to work and switch completely to robot mode which suits me because it makes my job easier amd blocks outside noise/problems. But sometimes I stay in robot mode for days/weeks after work/weekends and just systematically routinely do the EXACT thing all the time. People show me stuff they find hilarious and the most I show is "hah" or "thats great" with a smirk. I very rarely belly laugh unless Im in my car by myself making up weird songs/noises [emoji23]

Yep my mate did that. Used to work at the Herald Sun in advertising. Took redundancy and now works 25-30 hour weeks for ALDI. Is happy enough and no responsibility

 

[Run n Spread]

I dont have any dreams or goals I just rock up to work and switch completely to robot mode which suits me because it makes my job easier amd blocks outside noise/problems. But sometimes I stay in robot mode for days/weeks after work/weekends and just systematically routinely do the EXACT thing all the time. People show me stuff they find hilarious and the most I show is "hah" or "thats great" with a smirk. I very rarely belly laugh unless Im in my car by myself making up weird songs/noises [emoji23]

In a way I get that but I do have dreams and goals but they're impossible and do require money. But I don't really fit in and struggle day to day and periods of long unemployment have totally ****ed my perspective and relationships with employment.
I don't even want stuff just the chance to have something stable on my own terms.
But like I say am in a situation that's impossible atm

 

[Shell]

Yep good courses cost a shitload. And the time too- considering you basically need a FT job to pay a mortgage (not that im complaining at all- just saying )

 

[Shell]

In a way I get that but I do have dreams and goals but they're impossible and do require money. But I don't really fit in and struggle day to day and periods of long unemployment have totally f’ed my perspective and relationships with employment.
I don't even want stuff just the chance to have something stable on my own terms.
But like I say am in a situation that's impossible atm

Do you like animals at all?

 

[Shell]

Maybe working with animals >>> humans

 

[Run n Spread]

Do you like animals at all?

Like dogs except the ones that bite. Get nervous round them. Horses elephants I like. One highlight of a holiday was bathing an elephant. (Rode one once but didn't go back as on a second look they were not kept well. A sanctuary is better).
Cats are ok actually funnily enough

 

[Shell]

Like dogs except the ones that bite. Get nervous round them. Horses elephants I like. One highlight of a holiday was bathing an elephant. (Rode one once but didn't go back as on a second look they were not kept well. A sanctuary is better).
Cats are ok actually funnily enough

How about an animal attendants course- 20 weeks. Can work with animals. They dont talk back either

 

[Run n Spread]

How about an animal attendants course- 20 weeks. Can work with animals. They dont talk back either

I'll see how the year ends up. But definitely lots to consider especially my personal traits and what works for me.

 

[Run n Spread]

I’m pretty low. The only time I’m halfway content is when I’m with my daughter, but with work (when I go back to it) and only having 50/50 for the past 8 months, it’s far too rare. She left this afternoon and I’m back to hating life. All I can do is count down the hours until I see her again

If there is one thing children have a highly developed bullshit antenna. If you're there for them and in their corner they will appreciate it in the future

 

[Marklar_33]

If there is one thing children have a highly developed bullshit antenna. If you're there for them and in their corner they will appreciate it in the future

I know, I am and she loves me and makes that clear. I simply fall apart when she’s gone

 

[raskolnikov]

After the last few weeks I've decided that I hate people and want to spend the rest of my life alone.

 

[Genghis Tron]

After the last few weeks I've decided that I hate people and want to spend the rest of my life alone.

I hear you mate. I feel much the same, yet we continue to roam this little community and interact with others.

It makes me wonder, do I truly feel that way or is it just a side effect of suffering? If i am willing to be seen online is it the face to face I hate? I suppose it doesn't matter in the end.

I try to engage with people as much as I can when I'm feeling like this. No matter how torturous it may feel, it does tend to eventually alleviate the feeling for some time. Not saying that's what you should do though, just throwing it out there.

Hope you have a better next few weeks mate.

 

[Genghis Tron]

Question to any parents;

Did you find that your suffering eased when you had your child or was it just a case of being so distracted that you don't allow yourself to feel down?

 

[raskolnikov]

I hear you mate. I feel much the same, yet we continue to roam this little community and interact with others.

It makes me wonder, do I truly feel that way or is it just a side effect of suffering? If i am willing to be seen online is it the face to face I hate? I suppose it doesn't matter in the end.

I try to engage with people as much as I can when I'm feeling like this. No matter how torturous it may feel, it does tend to eventually alleviate the feeling for some time. Not saying that's what you should do though, just throwing it out there.

Hope you have a better next few weeks mate.

Thanks. My job necessitates that I engage with people but outside of that I just couldn't be bothered. Too much work for too little reward. You go out of your way to do things for others, then when you need something they're nowhere to be seen.

 

[Shell]

After the last few weeks I've decided that I hate people and want to spend the rest of my life alone.

I'll be here.


What happened- did you catch up with that mate finally???

 

[Shell]

Thanks. My job necessitates that I engage with people but outside of that I just couldn't be bothered. Too much work for too little reward. You go out of your way to do things for others, then when you need something they're nowhere to be seen.

FWIW i went thru a pretty rough few days last week.

I texted 3 friends.

2 closeish ones (1 i go to the footy with all the time). One said "aw hope youre ok/love heart". The other sent a bit "more" which helped. Neither offered to catch up in person.

1 i have not seen in a few years (we did catch up in person for the first time last week tho). Sent me like 10 messages, had a conversation. The next day she followed up with "how are you doing this morning?".


Am.... not pissed off. But, I now know who is the better mate- and the one I'll be putting more effort in for.

 

[Shell]

I hear you mate. I feel much the same, yet we continue to roam this little community and interact with others.

It makes me wonder, do I truly feel that way or is it just a side effect of suffering? If i am willing to be seen online is it the face to face I hate? I suppose it doesn't matter in the end.

Im both an introvert and an extrovert imho. Depends on the situation, depends on the person.

But I like face to face. And its a cliche, but at night like 9pm+ it gets ****ing lonely. Like srsly... feel so shithouse + cry sometimes. But the next day/morning, am feeling ok again. Its a shit cycle that I want to get out of.

 

[raskolnikov]

I'll be here.


What happened- did you catch up with that mate finally???

Yeah. I did. It was alright. He said he had sinus issues last weekend. Ok, but you can't sent a brief text?

Anyway, he's the least of my worries at the moment.

 

[Shell]

Yeah thats total ****ing bs. Send a ****ing text.


And im sorry

 

[Shell]

Question to any parents;

Did you find that your suffering eased when you had your child or was it just a case of being so distracted that you don't allow yourself to feel down?

Im not a parent.

Just wanted to say i love your av. What is it?