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Health Depression

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Since I moved to Queensland from Melbourne ten years ago I have mates in Melbourne who regularly message me to ask when I'm coming down for a visit. Before last year I was going down at least a couple of times a year, often more, to meet up. It was fine as I made sure I went down when I could go to the footy and meet up with other mates there.

Yesterday I see on Facebook that one of my mates has posted that he's in Queensland. And not only in Queensland, going on the train between Brisbane and Cairns, which runs through my town. I messaged him and said, "Hey, you're not stopping off for a visit?" His reply, "Sorry, no time this trip". Yet I look on his Facebook page and he's spent at least a week on the Sunshine Coast. He could have easily cut that short a day or so to visit.

Yeah, instant defriend.
 
raskolnikov said:
Since I moved to Queensland from Melbourne ten years ago I have mates in Melbourne who regularly message me to ask when I'm coming down for a visit. Before last year I was going down at least a couple of times a year, often more, to meet up. It was fine as I made sure I went down when I could go to the footy and meet up with other mates there.

Yesterday I see on Facebook that one of my mates has posted that he's in Queensland. And not only in Queensland, going on the train between Brisbane and Cairns, which runs through my town. I messaged him and said, "Hey, you're not stopping off for a visit?" His reply, "Sorry, no time this trip". Yet I look on his Facebook page and he's spent at least a week on the Sunshine Coast. He could have easily cut that short a day or so to visit.

Yeah, instant defriend.
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Oh my GOD.

Same deal with me and my cousins!!! They live like an hour and a bit away- and we never get together. (always say we will tho). I am always here/available

They come down for the footy. I see on facebook they're at Collingwood v Geelong (after the final siren). No message, nothing.


Get. ****ed.
 
raskolnikov said:
Thanks. My job necessitates that I engage with people but outside of that I just couldn't be bothered. Too much work for too little reward. You go out of your way to do things for others, then when you need something they're nowhere to be seen.
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I'm lucky with my work. Can avoid people all I like.

Sorry to hear that mate, at the very least you learned who you can rely on.

That said, there's always there chance they are suffering too in silence. More likely they're just a dick though.

I just think its important that people like us/those who frequent this thread try and consider all possibilities before immediately falling into negative thought patterns. Just in general, not aimed solely at you though😂 more a reminder to myself haha


Shell said:
Im both an introvert and an extrovert imho. Depends on the situation, depends on the person.

But I like face to face. And its a cliche, but at night like 9pm+ it gets ******* lonely. Like srsly... feel so shithouse + cry sometimes. But the next day/morning, am feeling ok again. Its a sh*t cycle that I want to get out of.
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I'm not huge on the face to face, but I really rely on it to understand how others are feeling. A text that might seem cold might register completely different in person. I really struggle to communicate properly without the access to read the person rather than just their words.

I understand the night thing though. I prefer the night, but once it starts getting quiet, internally it gets louder.
 

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Shell said:
Im not a parent.

Just wanted to say i love your av. What is it?
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It's Pazuzu. The demon from the first Exorcist. This face and another angle are briefly flashed in the film.

I first watched it at 3yr old and the face flashes/overlays and subliminal things in that movie really shook me at that age. Then over the years it would be on the TV and I'd refuse to watch, I'd walk from my room to the kitchen for food or something, glance for a literal quarter-second at the TV and that very moment would be the point the face flashes.

It just scared me. Even into adulthood. I've spent the past few years conditioning myself with things I hate/am scared of and I can now look pazuzu in the face and.not feel dread. Still spooky, but not traumatic. Even booked in to get a tattoo of it.

Next is my phobia of moths.

That was a far more drawn out answer than you deserved to be subjected to 😂
 
Genghis Tron said:
It's Pazuzu. The demon from the first Exorcist. This face and another angle are briefly flashed in the film.

I first watched it at 3yr old and the face flashes/overlays and subliminal things in that movie really shook me at that age. Then over the years it would be on the TV and I'd refuse to watch, I'd walk from my room to the kitchen for food or something, glance for a literal quarter-second at the TV and that very moment would be the point the face flashes.

It just scared me. Even into adulthood. I've spent the past few years conditioning myself with things I hate/am scared of and I can now look pazuzu in the face and.not feel dread. Still spooky, but not traumatic. Even booked in to get a tattoo of it.

Next is my phobia of moths.

That was a far more drawn out answer than you deserved to be subjected to 😂
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No I love it.


I ****ING HATE MOTHS OMG. Worse than spiders. They can gagfd. I hate the Butterfly House at the Zoo too
 
Genghis Tron said:
It's Pazuzu. The demon from the first Exorcist. This face and another angle are briefly flashed in the film.
Click to expand...

Thats so cool, I had no idea. I saw T.E at Hoyts when I worked there, for the 20th anniversary or whatever it was. Didnt think all that much of it but I would have been 20yo at the time.


For me as kid- The Birds scared the crap outta me. And Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (both films scary for birds). And then a few years late Silence of the Lambs.
 
Shell said:
No I actually really do appreciate texts. Not just "aw hope you're ok" and thats it. Like get f’ed.

I dislike talking on the phone tbh, so maybe thats like my "replacement" for a call.
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It's certainly easier to mask yourself through. Revise, edit, draw less shame to your self.
 
Shell said:
No I love it.


I ******* HATE MOTHS OMG. Worse than spiders. They can gagfd. I hate the Butterfly House at the Zoo too
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Ahhh a new member for the club. Welcome!

Butterflies I love, but an associate recently mentioned that there are moths in the butterfly house as I had just recently been.

Freaked me out to no end.
 
Shell said:
Thats so cool, I had no idea. I saw T.E at Hoyts when I worked there, for the 20th anniversary or whatever it was. Didnt think all that much of it but I would have been 20yo at the time.


For me as kid- The Birds scared the crap outta me. And Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (both films scary for birds). And then a few years late Silence of the Lambs.
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Yeah silence of the lambs for sure. Far scarier than some random monster.
 
Genghis Tron said:
Question to any parents;

Did you find that your suffering eased when you had your child or was it just a case of being so distracted that you don't allow yourself to feel down?
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Probably made it worse. I have 3 kids and i love being a dad more than anything else, but its very demanding, very stressful and very time consuming.
 
Genghis Tron said:
Ahhh a new member for the club. Welcome!

Butterflies I love, but an associate recently mentioned that there are moths in the butterfly house as I had just recently been.

Freaked me out to no end.
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Mate, please.

I founded that club thank you very much. :thumbsupv1: :winkv1:

And nah- you cannot be prez anyway if you can withstand the butterfly house. I like butterflies too- out in the street. Not in a house.
 

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Macca19 said:
Probably made it worse. I have 3 kids and i love being a dad more than anything else, but its very demanding, very stressful and very time consuming.
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And its not like you can rewind time and un-do it either.

Suppose you can raise them right and ensure they can be self sufficient as early as possible. (FWIW I moved out of home at 26)
 
Macca19 said:
Probably made it worse. I have 3 kids and i love being a dad more than anything else, but its very demanding, very stressful and very time consuming.
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Honestly not the answer I was expecting. Thank you though.
 
Shell said:
Nah I can understand that completely. As someone whose worked with children for 16 years- I am extremely happy when 3pm comes around.

Kids are hard.
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I can understand it for sure, just sort of expected parents to lie and say "oh no it's the best!". Seeing my mates kids for 10 minutes wears me out. Couldn't do 16 years.
 
raskolnikov said:
Since I moved to Queensland from Melbourne ten years ago I have mates in Melbourne who regularly message me to ask when I'm coming down for a visit. Before last year I was going down at least a couple of times a year, often more, to meet up. It was fine as I made sure I went down when I could go to the footy and meet up with other mates there.

Yesterday I see on Facebook that one of my mates has posted that he's in Queensland. And not only in Queensland, going on the train between Brisbane and Cairns, which runs through my town. I messaged him and said, "Hey, you're not stopping off for a visit?" His reply, "Sorry, no time this trip". Yet I look on his Facebook page and he's spent at least a week on the Sunshine Coast. He could have easily cut that short a day or so to visit.

Yeah, instant defriend.
Click to expand...

I hear ya. I moved to the country in 2008, only 2 1/2 hours away from Adelaide. 2 of my groomsmen who I was super close to, pretty much refused to come and visit and would only either meet halfway or wait till I went back to Adelaide. Didnt last long before I stopped bothering to catch up with them and have spoken to them once maybe in the last 5-6 years
 

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I only asked because I was about to be a first time dad about 2 years ago now and I just wonder if it may have healed me somewhat.

Never felt comfortable around babies and the like (how do you hold them etc) but I figured something would click for me when the time came and I'd be fixed, or better at least 😂
 
Genghis Tron said:
I only asked because I was about to be a first time dad about 2 years ago now and I just wonder if it may have healed me somewhat.

Never felt comfortable around babies and the like (how do you hold them etc) but I figured something would click for me when the time came and I'd be fixed, or better at least 😂
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OMG.... like were we best friends in a past life?

I cant stand babies. I'm a woman ffs... the "baby" section at Kmart makes me wanna retch. I hate the smell.


I love kids like.... 12 years+
 
Genghis Tron said:
I can understand it for sure, just sort of expected parents to lie and say "oh no it's the best!". Seeing my mates kids for 10 minutes wears me out. Couldn't do 16 years.
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i wouldn’t trade my three ferals for all the gold in the world. I am lucky though, they are freakin awesome kids. Sometimes they are the reason I am still sane.
 
Genghis Tron said:
Honestly not the answer I was expecting. Thank you though.
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They arent the cause of my depression/anxiety issues by any stretch, but if i’m having a bad mental day, then it usually makes it worse not better, and my 3 are pretty chilled. Dont fight that much, are pleasant to be around etc
 
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Yeah.. I must admit I look at my two cousins' kids. And my heart aches a little. They are ****ing brilliant.


The eldest- who is 7. Loves the solar system- can talk planets 24/7. Like is a flipping genius about planets. Im going to look up some info and have a serious conversation with him next time I see him.
 

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