A lot of time goes in to raising kids. It can definitely leave a gap when they grow up. Have you found a new purpose and new connections to replace the time dedicated to him?
Health Depression
- Thread starter smasha
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Still there, I do a lot with them.
I’m trying to do this.
- Jul 20, 2010
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Good time to try dating for the first time in a decade, I thought.. I'm ready, I thought. Can't meet people in real life anymore so online dating it is.
Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.
Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
Yeah not a good idea. Got Hinge, Bumble, Tinder etc. Basically back to wanting to die. 2 months and not a single date, barely even a conversation. What a ******* joke online "dating" is.
Essentially even ugly women get so many options that average dudes are ignored - even by those on their 'level'.
Yeah, I'm avoiding them for this reason. Would be emotionally shredding. Even in normal times, they're 90% a sausage fest, a lot of guys are going to get left out by sheer maths.
I'm waiting for things to return to normal (16 months and counting...) so I can try out more typical social get-togethers where I'd hopefully meet someone more organically. (Easier said than done)
Thankfully that's likely just the result of a bad bio and photos rather than you being undateable. Have a trusted female friend go through and critique your bio, as women value and see dating profiles a bit differently than men. Likewise your conversation game may need a bit of work, if you're starting a chat with 'hey' or 'how are you' etc is 0/10 exciting. Dating apps aren't that bad, it just takes a bit of time to get the hang of them.
Upgrayedd
A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
Hard not to be bitter to be honest.
Online dating is a crapshoot dude. It will humble the most confident man. You are better then that king. Honestly however the profiles are the biggest barrier and timing. Those sites often will neg you, wont expose you until you pay $$$. They are not created to boost confidence.
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Upgrayedd
A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
Im pretty bad currently.
I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month
About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments
around that time my ex started getting depression,
Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.
I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.
Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.
I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.
Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for
I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.
I miss my dogs.
I just wanted to vent on what's happened with me and my ex in the last year, whats happened to me in the last month
About 2 years ago we had purchased a house, had two dogs, both planning on starting new careers. I had quit my fairly safe and average paying job to become hopefully an electrician, going to tafe for 20 hours a week, work experience another 8 hours, working 30 hours casually as it was probably not affordable for me to defer payments
around that time my ex started getting depression,
Fast forward 5 weeks ago, she basically said, Not interested anymore, you have to leave. Next day half my stuff was in bags.
I've done nothing wrong, but I find myself on the hook paying for a house I dont live in, working 2 jobs to earn 900 a week max.
Homeless (on a couch ATM) struggling with work as I'm just mentally gone (recently put back onto probation because of a few incidents, heads not in the game) some issues with bloodclotting in my leg.
I miss my ******* dogs so much. She wont talk to me, It's taking honestly a lot of willpower not to spam messages, be that insane ex.
Homeloan payments aren't too bad and not going to be the end of me, 200 a week (for a house im not living in) but the rental market is shithouse and Im looking at 150 minimum for a room somewhere, For someone who owns right now a laptop, a gym bag, a Camry with a smashed up bumper (hit and run during this time as well, 2.5K bill when I can afford it) and some cool anime box-sets. It's not ideal, This isnt what I sacrified and prepared to sacrifice 4 years of my life for
I leave with about 3k in the bank, a house I cant live in, A phone, a car people gawk at. Robbed because I cant play a sport I've played since I was 8. Every ******* day it takes all my power just to put on a work shirt.
I miss my dogs.
Electronic_Renaissance
I ain't sayin' nothin'!
- Mar 25, 2021
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That's terrible. If she's the one whose not interested she should be the one who leaves. You should see if you can get some sort of legal aid.
You may be different but if it was me I'd want it sorted as quickly as possible.
toxic
Premium Gold
Sorry to hear mate, speak to people and sell that house if you can?
Upgrayedd
A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
Giving it a little time, I have another week here, house sitting for 6 weeks then I should at least have a bond sorted and figure out something else.
Marklar_33
Brownlow Medallist
That’s how I narrow them down. If they’re too stuck up to reply to a simple message, and require some over the top bullshit, I’m not interested. My starting point is always ‘how are you *name*’ and I’ve met some really great people. And I’m also easy to confuse with a dropped pastie. I also do agree though that it’s a toxic environment and probably should be avoided in the wrong headspace
- Jul 23, 2010
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assume they are getting that message from every other bloke they match with, and they known you are sending it out to every woman you match it.
it’s boring and indicates no effort and you can’t blame people for ignoring it. dating apps are not the same as meeting someone in a bar.
hardly over the top bullshit to look at their profile and ask them about something on it or ask a question.
Marklar_33
Brownlow Medallist
Yeah, we are probably speaking of the extreme ends of the scale here
Anyway, my way has worked for me
- Mar 19, 2020
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Quite simply put, this is a divorce. Just because there is no ring on it, it does not mean this isnt a legal seperation. You have co-owned goods and everything along those lines, so you need to address the situation in a legal manner
First thing I would do is, ring Legal Aid. Explain the situation, ask what your rights are. Once you have advice, go to a lawyer, explain the situation and work on the basis that
A) You want to sell the house
B) You want the dogs as they are your dogs
C) Before you sell house, you want her to pay rent
You may want more but all 3 of those are going to be easily achievable. I understand you cant afford a lawyer but to be brutally honest, you dont need a good lawyer here. Your case is relatively open and shut. You cant be kicked out of a house you are paying the mortgage on and no one can usurp ownership of pets.. Its a basic law here. When time comes to approach a lawyer, tell them that A) is non-negotiable and you will pay said lawyer when A) is achieved. Most are happy to operate under that concept because quite simply you will win A) as a open and shut situation
A brutal truth here is that your mental state is letting you roll over. Dont roll over. FIGHT! . Once you fight for your rights, you will realise you are worthy and be a happier person
One person cant define your self worth. Take back control and create your own definition. Everything you said in this post proves you are worthy. No one should tell you otherwise
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- Mar 19, 2020
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To be honest, you are looking in the 3 wrong places. You need to use a dating app that suits your needs and wants, not one that has the most fish in said barrel.
If it means so much to you, then quite simply invest some money and ultimately more effort in it. Id just buy RSVP/eHarmony and see how you go. These are apps where people actually want to meet and do so at your level. No one wants to try dating for the first time on Tinder, they want validation for themselves and themselves only. Its also a case where empty people like that wont spend any money on getting that validation. They just want a cheap win. If you move over to places that charge money and good coin at that you tend to weed out the shithouse people looking for selfish wins. You may also give time for your personality to shine through in that field too as RSVP and eHarmony demand personality profiles be drawn up and create something deeper in that space.
Honest truth is your effort in this situation does not match the impact it is having on you. If it means this much, invest more of yourself into it. Both time and money. Once you do you will get better results. Id be pretty staggered if you didnt in the sense that basic human concepts is that effort does and will shine through eventually
Shell
Premium Platinum
Got really low over lockdown, cancelled my sesh with the psych and then stopped taking my meds.
Thank god I googled the ramifications to doing that, and I went back on them.
Will reschedule with him soon, but *. I. hate. winter.
Thank god I googled the ramifications to doing that, and I went back on them.
Will reschedule with him soon, but *. I. hate. winter.
Upgrayedd
A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
I’m still going to my psychologist. Results are slow but we did a list today covering different areas of my life and how I felt about them last year and this year. Made me see I am making some progress. Also have a bit of a lower back problem and the physio and chiro suggested swimming so I’ve started that. Exercise does make you feel good.
Upgrayedd
A Vote for Clive is a Vote for Justice
Physical exercise is key. Like Sure it may not help everyone but its at worst a good way to do something constructive to distract you and at best an amazing way to channel feelings and release endorphins
Shell
Premium Platinum
And the Sun. Thankfully its been sunny the past few days, has lifted my mood heaps.
- Oct 2, 2016
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Glad to hear that Shell, this latest lockdown knocked me about also, but finally I feel a little better being able too see my family, albeit not at home.
