Health Depression

[juss]

Anyone used Mitazapine? Been on it 2 weeks don’t feel any better.

I used 30mg a day for about 2 years at night. Over that period, I definitely improved anxiety/depressive/intrusive thoughts symptoms and was in remission for ages.

Its hard to tell if the mirtazapine made a difference though, but it was probably part of a number of factors. Come off very slowly if you do, luckily enough for me it was extremely low side effects, basically none so I could give it a go for a while.

I'd give it at least 3-6 weeks but chat to your psych or doc first if you feel it's not right for you.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Having a genuine mental breakdown. Absolutely ****ed and I don't know what else to do than to whinge on *in BigFooty about it

I had a breakdown couple years back.

I was all good , then one day ...just fooked.

Whine away .

Try to get yourself in a routine and do something every day to try to make you happy.

 

[Engimal v3]

I had a breakdown couple years back.

I was all good , then one day ...just fooked.

Whine away .

Try to get yourself in a routine and do something every day to try to make you happy.

Appreciate that mate, thanks

 

[rocker_oz33]

Appreciate that mate, thanks

Good after yourself.

Plenty of good people about .

 

[phantom13]

Not really sure where to post this (also trigger warning).

A dear friend lost a family member to suicide over the weekend.

I’m also coming up on 10 years since a good mate of mine comitted suicide over the Xmas period.

This time of year can be difficult, we know that rates of depression, self harm and suicide increase over the Xmas period.

Seeing my friend go through this and remembering the heartache and questions of my friends passing has been a brutal blow in the last few days.

I implore you, if you’re struggling, if anything is getting you down over this time, reach out to someone, hell dm me.

I’ve never ever found it more true that I’d rather take an hour to be there for someone now than take an hour at their funeral.

Be safe over this period and try to remember that nothing is ever that bad or that permanent.

Cheers crew

 

[Fabab]

Not really sure where to post this (also trigger warning).

A dear friend lost a family member to suicide over the weekend.

I’m also coming up on 10 years since a good mate of mine comitted suicide over the Xmas period.

This time of year can be difficult, we know that rates of depression, self harm and suicide increase over the Xmas period.

Seeing my friend go through this and remembering the heartache and questions of my friends passing has been a brutal blow in the last few days.

I implore you, if you’re struggling, if anything is getting you down over this time, reach out to someone, hell dm me.

I’ve never ever found it more true that I’d rather take an hour to be there for someone now than take an hour at their funeral.

Be safe over this period and try to remember that nothing is ever that bad or that permanent.

Cheers crew

Goodonya matey.

 

[tangolikelama]

Yep. As someone in my mid 20s, hard not to be bitter about it too. If I was born 10 years earlier I'd be halfway to paying off a house by now.

Same mate - I've just quit my job because why the **** am I slaving away for a life that isn't attainable anymore? This isn't so much in the spirit of laying down and rotting but whats the point of the endless hours, when there is no reward. I'm lucky that I've managed to find a nice public sector gig that should fix the work life balance. Hope you're going ok.

 

[Upgrayedd]

So, long story, Bought house with Ex, Broke up, ended up a bit homeless for a while, Nasty point for me,

In the gear to sell it and went around to do some small works, It kinda makes me physically ill looking at a place which honestly, was a dream, losing 2 dogs and property sucks, Cant afford to buy it out-right, Brutal times

 

[mouncey2franklin]

Yep. As someone in my mid 20s, hard not to be bitter about it too. If I was born 10 years earlier I'd be halfway to paying off a house by now.

I was born ten years earlier than you and I am not half way to paying off a house.

I barely have a cent to my name tbph.

There are people I went to school with who have either paid off their homes by now or are well on the way.

The people who wanted to get jobs, get mortgages, and stick to it, have done well for themselves.

No offense but I suspect the same is true of your gen, and will be true of the ones behind you.

That is, the ones who want to sacrifice their 20s to work and pay off a home, will do so, those who don't, will not.

 

[phantom13]

I was born ten years earlier than you and I am not half way to paying off a house.

I barely have a cent to my name tbph.

There are people I went to school with who have either paid off their homes by now or are well on the way.

The people who wanted to get jobs, get mortgages, and stick to it, have done well for themselves.

No offense but I suspect the same is true of your gen, and will be true of the ones behind you.

That is, the ones who want to sacrifice their 20s to work and pay off a home, will do so, those who don't, will not.

I’m 35 and my wife and I are the only one of our contemporaries who now own a home (with a mortgage obviously) and received no help from our parents.

I don’t say this to gloat (believe me if our folks could have helped we’d have taken it) but the whole “sacrifice your avo toast” deal is bullshit.

 

[mouncey2franklin]

I’m 35 and my wife and I are the only one of our contemporaries who now own a home (with a mortgage obviously) and received no help from our parents.

I don’t say this to gloat (believe me if our folks could have helped we’d have taken it) but the whole “sacrifice your avo toast” deal is bullshit.

Did your friends spend their twenties partying, holidaying, going out for drinks and dinner regularly?

If not, where did their money go?

 

[phantom13]

Did your friends spend their twenties partying, holidaying, going out for drinks and dinner regularly?

If not, where did their money go?

No more or less than their parents or my wife and i did.

Like, everyone who wants to buy a house needs to make some sacrifices but this idea that the only people who become home owners eat ramen 24/7/365 and live shitful lives never going to the movies or the pub is bullshit. It shouldnt be that way and people shouldnt feel down because they cant have what their parents have because the parameters and requirements are completely different now.

With what my wife and i earn if we lived 30 years ago (accordingly adjusted) wed have a medium sized portfolio of inner city and inner suburban properties and could probably retire at 50 and live off them with zero help from anyone. As it stands we bought our first home at 33 25kms from the city in the west and if were lucky we might be able to keep this place when we downsize for retirement.

Its a lazy generational cliche that young people dont wanna knuckle down and buy a home, they do, but its so far out of reach that it becomes ridiculous to even try.

 

[Kram]

With all due respect I think this is all flawed thinking with totally pointless 'what ifs' towards real estate and the generational 'rivalry'. Living in any time period has had their own advantages, disadvantages and serious challenges. I don't think anyone without any outside help has ever done it 'easy', just as it's not like everyone just 'wastes' their money now. In saying that this is of course a huge one for young to even middle aged people atm but it's no surprise with rising populations where everyone all wants to live in big cities combined with housing stock shortages.

I've missed out on 2 Perth real estate booms in Perth, one huge one in the early 00s where prices nearly doubled and now the recent one through covid after a decade of barely any growth up like 30%. I mean it's annoying but getting 'bitter' about it is negative counterproductive thinking, focus on what you can do in the now under your control and make a plan.

 

[Engimal v3]

I was born ten years earlier than you and I am not half way to paying off a house.

I barely have a cent to my name tbph.

There are people I went to school with who have either paid off their homes by now or are well on the way.

The people who wanted to get jobs, get mortgages, and stick to it, have done well for themselves.

No offense but I suspect the same is true of your gen, and will be true of the ones behind you.

That is, the ones who want to sacrifice their 20s to work and pay off a home, will do so, those who don't, will not.

That's anecdotal. What I'm saying is based in fact, unfortunately.

House prices have rose in the last 20 years at a pace that wages haven't come anywhere close to. And now in particularly we're also facing relatively high interest rates, as an extra little present.

It is what it is; it's not like someone has personally wronged me or anything - but it's hard not to be bitter about it. Just a bit of bad luck.

 

[Reynolds Number]

People like to scald you, ridicule you, humiliate you over your plight but they are not willing to help you out.

 

[phantom13]

With all due respect I think this is all flawed thinking with totally pointless 'what ifs' towards real estate and the generational 'rivalry'. Living in any time period has had their own advantages, disadvantages and serious challenges. I don't think anyone without any outside help has ever done it 'easy', just as it's not like everyone just 'wastes' their money now. In saying that this is of course a huge one for young to even middle aged people atm but it's no surprise with rising populations where everyone all wants to live in big cities combined with housing stock shortages.

I've missed out on 2 Perth real estate booms in Perth, one huge one in the early 00s where prices nearly doubled and now the recent one through covid after a decade of barely any growth up like 30%. I mean it's annoying but getting 'bitter' about it is negative counterproductive thinking, focus on what you can do in the now under your control and make a plan.

In my experience (and i guess im biased because im 35) alot more Boomers claim kids these days dont wanna knuckle down and cut the avo toast for a home than Millenials claim Boomers had it easy and could buy houses with monopoly money.

Ultimately both those statements are hyperbolic and stupid.

I certainly dont think Boomers had it "easy" but when it comes to buying a house they absolutely had it "easier".

 

[Kram]

I pose this hypothetical question to people. Even with that advantage of far easier housing affordability in the past would you prefer to live your life out in today's world generally, or if magically possible would you prefer to be able to live in say back in the 60s, 70s and 80s?

Overall I know when I'd prefer to live.

 

[mouncey2franklin]

this idea that the only people who become home owners eat ramen 24/7/365 and live shitful lives never going to the movies or the pub is bullshit.

I didn't make that claim, though. This is just a lazy strawman argument.

What I asked was, did your friends spend their 20s going out for dinner and drinks and holidaying and so forth?

Their money must have gone somewhere. The question is, where?

It is definitely true that Aus real estate has gone crazy over the past 25 years.

Also, the cities have grown too big, too fast, so now first home buyers (if they don't have affluent parents to help) will have to settle for some place a long way from the city, often some boring, depressing suburb built atop what used to be farmland.

It didn't used to be this way.

The point remains that the people who were willing to sacrifice their 20s and 30s, and stick at one job (or one career, moving up), they are now on the property ladder.

People like me who had no interest in doing that, we are not on the property ladder.

I don't blame anybody but myself.

And to be honest, I don't even think I made the wrong decision.

I'd take my life over that of my peers, even the ones with houses.

But that is a personal, subjective thing.

If one day I look back and regret not getting into the property game when I was younger, I won't be blaming the boomers, that's for sure.

 

[phantom13]

I didn't make that claim, though. This is just a lazy strawman argument.

What I asked was, did your friends spend their 20s going out for dinner and drinks and holidaying and so forth?

Their money must have gone somewhere. The question is, where?

It is definitely true that Aus real estate has gone crazy over the past 25 years.

Also, the cities have grown too big, too fast, so now first home buyers (if they don't have affluent parents to help) will have to settle for some place a long way from the city, often some boring, depressing suburb built atop what used to be farmland.

It didn't used to be this way.

The point remains that the people who were willing to sacrifice their 20s and 30s, and stick at one job (or one career, moving up), they are now on the property ladder.

People like me who had no interest in doing that, we are not on the property ladder.

I don't blame anybody but myself.

And to be honest, I don't even think I made the wrong decision.

I'd take my life over that of my peers, even the ones with houses.

But that is a personal, subjective thing.

If one day I look back and regret not getting into the property game when I was younger, I won't be blaming the boomers, that's for sure.

Fwiw I didn’t really say you made that argument but to suggest that argument isn’t a lazy cliche is ridiculous.

Sacrifice is such a broad term it’s ultimately meaningless. My wife and I travelled, I didn’t stay in one job (and frankly every time I left a job I got a raise), we ate out, we partied and we now own a home, we are in the very very priveleged few that both have well paid jobs. We worked our asses off from uni/work all the way through so don’t think I’m suggesting that it’s easy but the whole smashed avo on toast thing is a genuine legitimate argument people make about why young people can’t afford housing and as a comparator for why previous generations could it’s utterly stupid.

Property was substantially cheaper in our parents and grandparents day. That’s not a shot at them (it’s also not a shot at you) but it’s a reality people should acknowledge when discussing why young people feel helpless about buying home and saying “oh just stick with one job, work harder, sacrifice your holidays and brekky dates” is stupid. Again, I’m not saying that’s YOUR argument but “where did their money go” is a weird question. 1- I wouldn’t know, I’m not their accountant and 2- probably most of the same places their parents and grandparents money went except they could still afford a house as well… because they weren’t as ridiculously priced compared to salary.

 

[mouncey2franklin]

Fwiw I didn’t really say you made that argument but to suggest that argument isn’t a lazy cliche is ridiculous.

Sacrifice is such a broad term it’s ultimately meaningless. My wife and I travelled, I didn’t stay in one job (and frankly every time I left a job I got a raise), we ate out, we partied and we now own a home, we are in the very very priveleged few that both have well paid jobs. We worked our asses off from uni/work all the way through so don’t think I’m suggesting that it’s easy but the whole smashed avo on toast thing is a genuine legitimate argument people make about why young people can’t afford housing and as a comparator for why previous generations could it’s utterly stupid.

Property was substantially cheaper in our parents and grandparents day. That’s not a shot at them (it’s also not a shot at you) but it’s a reality people should acknowledge when discussing why young people feel helpless about buying home and saying “oh just stick with one job, work harder, sacrifice your holidays and brekky dates” is stupid. Again, I’m not saying that’s YOUR argument but “where did their money go” is a weird question. 1- I wouldn’t know, I’m not their accountant and 2- probably most of the same places their parents and grandparents money went except they could still afford a house as well… because they weren’t as ridiculously priced compared to salary.

I didn’t stay in one job (and frankly every time I left a job I got a raise)

You stayed in one career, right? Which is something I mentioned. You kept working and were rewarded for it.

The point I was making is that the people who did this set themselves up for financial success.

Did your friends (who are not in the property game) do this? Did they stick at it? Put in the hard yards?

If so, then as I said, the question has to be asked, where did their money go?

Property was substantially cheaper in our parents and grandparents day.

100%, I have already said as much, we are in furious agreement.

“where did their money go” is a weird question

It is a fair question. Have you asked your friends where their money went, while yours was going into the mortgage?

I'm not criticising you or your friends, by the way. We all make our own decisions in life, for better or worse.

I am one of those people who in their mid-30s has no home, no mortgage, very little to his name.

And I do not blame any other person or generation for this fact. I made my decisions.

 

[Sky]

I pose this hypothetical question to people. Even with that advantage of far easier housing affordability in the past would you prefer to live your life out in today's world generally, or if magically possible would you prefer to be able to live in say back in the 60s, 70s and 80s?

Overall I know when I'd prefer to live.

The only way to save money at this point is to moved into shared accom. When a good enough kitty is saved up buy a house but continue suffering in shared house while renting yours out and have someone pay off most the mortgage till you can be comfortable yourself.

Makes me thankful when I was 18 and moved into a place with people a lot older than me. Someone I was living with was already doing that. Learnt a lot about life doing this. Paid $160 a week all bills inclusive for 7 years but it has its downfalls.

If I didn’t smoke cigarettes, I’d be able to buy my own house in a couple years time, probably.

 

[phantom13]

I didn’t stay in one job (and frankly every time I left a job I got a raise)

You stayed in one career, right? Which is something I mentioned. You kept working and were rewarded for it.

The point I was making is that the people who did this set themselves up for financial success.

Did your friends (who are not in the property game) do this? Did they stick at it? Put in the hard yards?

If so, then as I said, the question has to be asked, where did their money go?

Property was substantially cheaper in our parents and grandparents day.

100%, I have already said as much, we are in furious agreement.

“where did their money go” is a weird question

It is a fair question. Have you asked your friends where their money went, while yours was going into the mortgage?

I'm not criticising you or your friends, by the way. We all make our own decisions in life, for better or worse.

I am one of those people who in their mid-30s has no home, no mortgage, very little to his name.

And I do not blame any other person or generation for this fact. I made my decisions.

To answer your questions

• No i didnt actually, i changed careers in my mid 20s
• Your asking if my friends who own houses work hard? Yeh they did. Did they sacrifice? Probably depends who you ask. They still travelled, they still went out, they still ate out etc etc. They sacrificed but not to the degree alot of older Australians think they should.
• Have you asked where their money went? They all bought before me (because they got a leg up from the bank of mum and dad) but no... why would i ask them what they are spending their money on. They own homes and those that dont it still isnt my business.

Im not saying youre apportioning blame, im not apportioning blame, the situation is what it is. Bemoaning it doesnt help anyone BUT... alot of people (again not you) think its as simple as dont travel and stop the smashed avo and boom. Three bedder in Toorak. If that sounds ridiculous to you then good. It should because it is but a lot of people (especially older Australians) do legitimately think this way. When we first bought a home my parents in law kept sending my wife and i places near them in Hawthorn. They thought because we make good money we must be able to afford there (which is near them) and then we could send our future child to one of the private schools in Kew... They genuinely thought this was the case not realizing that although we earn well and have good career trajectory doing that needs generational wealth.

I dont begrudge any young person feeling as though the "dream" of buying a home is a pipe dream when a family home in ****ing Officer is going for $650k. I saw a "luxury" home in Glen Waverley listed for $4.5m yesterday. (No disrespect to Officer or GW)

When the dream is that far away and no amount of sacrifice short of living at home like a hermit and eating savoys and ramen til your 40 will get you in the market i think most young people are right to say "**** it, lets go to Ibiza".

 

[phantom13]

I’m 35 and my wife and I are the only one of our contemporaries who now own a home (with a mortgage obviously) and received no help from our parents.

I don’t say this to gloat (believe me if our folks could have helped we’d have taken it) but the whole “sacrifice your avo toast” deal is bullshit.

mouncey2franklin i think this might be causing some confusion.

When i say
"my wife and I are the only one of our contemporaries who now own a home (with a mortgage obviously) and received no help from our parents"

What i mean is
"All our contemporaries own homes because they got substantial help from their parents. My wife and i did not"

Its also why they all mostly bought around 30 and we didnt until 33-34.

 

[Awakening]

Are you guys still banging on?

I’m in my mid 40s and I consider ourselves fortunate that we bought a house, really due to age and both having reasonably paid jobs. I think it’s much harder for the younger generation.

But doesn’t really matter what I think. The facts speak for themselves. The average house price relative to the average income makes it much harder to buy your first home then it was for any other generation before.

I worked in the finance industry for 20 years and have an Adv Dip in Financial Planning and many studies and research has been done on this and they all come to the same conclusion that it’s harder.

If the cost of living is contributing to your depression then a bit of practical advice is to buy a copy of Scott Pape’s Barefoot Investor. It’s good solid advice imo and helps you feel less helpless.

It could also help to practice gratitude. And it actually hurt me to write that because it’s so cringe.

But just like exercise and eating well, stopping to take a moment to list what you are thankful for can help with depression. I’m grateful I have shelter (even if I don’t own it!), I’m relatively healthy, I have people that care about me.

Can even be simple things like being grateful for a nice sunny day or watching a good footy game.

You also don’t have to prescribe to societies norms. As Pape says tread your own path.

You don’t have to slog it out working to retire at 65. You can work part time until your 90 (not all jobs obviously), you can have periods of not working to travel or whatever.

I think one of the contributing factors to depression is social media. It makes everyone appear to be leading almost perfect lives.

Remember, comparison is the thief of joy.

 

[mouncey2franklin]

Bemoaning it doesnt help anyone BUT... alot of people (again not you) think its as simple as dont travel and stop the smashed avo and boom. Three bedder in Toorak.

I haven't heard anybody suggest that if you skip travel and smashed avo then you can afford a 3br in Toorak.

No offense, you're a smart dude and clearly passionate, I just think you are too emotionally invested in your outlook to consider outside opinions.

That's why you keep returning to these strawman examples which have nothing to do with what I am saying.

I'm not one of those 'I worked hard and sacrificed so you should too' boomers.

I didn't work that hard and I didn't sacrifice. That's why in my mid-30s I'm still just living month to month.

The people I went to school with (in a shit suburb at a bog ordinary public school) who did work hard and sacrificed, own homes now.

Those of us who didn't, don't.

That's all I'm saying, man.

The victimhood mentality some folks have does not help them at all.

It is a contagion at this point in Aus people, especially those our age and younger.

Anyway this thread is about depression so I will leave it there.

Good luck to those battling with it, be it due to housing / cost of living anxieties or otherwise.

Shit is rough in Aus, I know, that's why I gtfo years ago