Family & Relationships Describe the most irritating person/a$$hole you know

bresker

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Thread starter #1
For me, it would have to be this little bloke who comes into the gym. He's about five foot tall. He has big biceps, big shoulders and a massive belly. And a big fat head.

He does the same machines every time, and hogs them for ages. In fact, when the place is quiet, he tries to hog two machines at once. He does a set of shoulder presses and then goes over to the lat pulldown machine. But if someone has a go on either of these vacant machines, he sometimes stops and says 'Hey mate I'm still using that one.'

No you aren't, f**kwit you are on the other machine now. I always just say to him 'I'm just doing a set of ten' and then take my time.

But that's not even the annoying thing. The real annoying thing is that the whole time he is exercising HE TALKS REALLY LOUDLY INTO A STUPID BLUETOOTH HEADSET BEHIND HIS EAR. He never stops. He talks self-important crap about various business dealings he is negotiating with some unnamed person. Maybe he is some sort of drug dealer, he certianly looks like one of our local thuggish organised criminals with his stupid gold chain and stupid tattoos.

His conversations go something like this:

'Yeah, tell Billy to bring it over...no look I told him that already, it was all arranged....what....yeah but sure that was all sorted out...what....yeah of course that was all sorted out already....yeah when we were in the house last night...yeah in the kitchen.....'

Blah blah blah. Really loudly.

I suppose the reason why he has the big belly is because he only works on his arms. I sometimes wonder why he never looks in the mirror and thinks 'Christ I look ridiculous.' Because he does.

After I finish in the gym I like to go and relax in the spa & steam room. My bluetooth friend doesn't usually frequent this area, but one night I was sitting in the steam room when he walked in.

Bizarrely, he was fully dressed in his gym gear complete with jewellery. He had a newspaper with him. Bear in mind that in the steam room it's very damp and with 90% humidity his paper soon started to fall apart.

But not before he had a chat to me about the contents. To my disgust, every time he finished a sentence he spat on the floor between his feet, like some weird nervous tic.

'Look at that' spit he said 'he earns a million dollars an hour' spit

'What?' I replied.

'Advertising' spit said mr bulky dwarf. 'a million dollars an hour. spit. I'd like to be him' spit.

I was confused now. 'Who does.'

'Mr Google' spit he said. 'He gets a million dollars an hour from advertising.'spit

Hmmm. So he thinks that there's a person called Mr Google running the whole operation. Maybe he lives next door to Mr Yahoo and Mr Facebook.

tl;dr.
 

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Shell

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#4
He does the same machines every time, and hogs them for ages. In fact, when the place is quiet, he tries to hog two machines at once. He does a set of shoulder presses and then goes over to the lat pulldown machine. But if someone has a go on either of these vacant machines, he sometimes stops and says 'Hey mate I'm still using that one.'

No you aren't, f**kwit you are on the other machine now. I always just say to him 'I'm just doing a set of ten' and then take my time. .
And so you should. If he aint on the machine he aint using it, and you should be able to do your set.

But that's not even the annoying thing. The real annoying thing is that the whole time he is exercising HE TALKS REALLY LOUDLY INTO A STUPID BLUETOOTH HEADSET BEHIND HIS EAR. He never stops. .
Hate people who talk on their phone in the gym. Like seriously you cannot live without your phone for all of an hour or so????! Pretty sad imo. I think in all my time at the gym I've taken maybe one phone call, had to I was picking someone up from the train.

I suppose the reason why he has the big belly is because he only works on his arms. I sometimes wonder why he never looks in the mirror and thinks 'Christ I look ridiculous.' Because he does..
LOL.

'Advertising' spit said mr bulky dwarf. 'a million dollars an hour. spit. I'd like to be him' spit.

I was confused now. 'Who does.'

'Mr Google' spit he said. 'He gets a million dollars an hour from advertising.'spit
.
Disgusting.

Nope sorry you know the biggest asshole. I really dont know anyone who is like this. :p
 

HarryTiger

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#7
Every gym has it's wankers and every gym forum has it's "wanker in my gym" threads. Some are genuine wankers for sure but some are just people big noting themselves by calling out other people as wankers.
 

Power King

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#9
Haven't read the thread yet but am bumping it so will read it soon.

I'll probably get pissed off reading this though

Based on today's experiences, some sa bogan version of frankston scum talking on his mobile with his baby in the other hand, cussing the f-bomb whilst pissed off at his female partner on the other line every second word because of the price of food for his child
 

rick James

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#11
Every gym has it's wankers and every gym forum has it's "wanker in my gym" threads. Some are genuine wankers for sure but some are just people big noting themselves by calling out other people as wankers.
This is why boxing gyms shit on regular gyms.

Someone walks in thinking they're king dick and some impoverished bloke from Nigeria or Zimbabwe will spray his nose across the wall. No time for self indulgent tools at a boxing gym
 

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#12
I know a guy who is fat, thinks he's not and exaggerates EVERYTHING. Example:

*flexes "muscle"* "yeah man look at that been going to the gym heaps over the past 6 months and I'm getting heaps buff, gotta wicked 6pack coming on as well" ... no .. no you don't.

Another one is his ability to exaggerate everything, no matter what situation.

"I was out with my uncle on his tinny and a great white bumped into us! and it kept bumping into our boat, we were about to topple over so I got out and smacked it twice in the head! Then it swam off.." or something to that affect.

Later found out that he was fishing with his uncle in a boat, and they saw a small shark in the distance.

Or in terms of his drinking - I admit he's a good drinker - only because he's a fat shit, but this was just ridiculous

"Yeah at schoolies I went through 2 cartons of redbears in 2 hours!" :D

A lot of the time we'd say ohh bullshit you're such a liar but he'd always have something to comeback with and somehow stump us so now we just let him go and nod.
 

X_box_X

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#14
I wonder what this guy would think if he knew you were talking about him behind his back. You'll probably see him working out on his abs the next time you're at the gym.
 

bresker

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Thread starter #15
He'd be amazed to find a thread devoted to him on one of Australia's most popular websites.

He should be honoured.

I don't hate him or anything; he's more amusing than anything else. The bloke at the gym I really hate is a guy who walks his pitbull off the lead round my streets and has the best looking girlfriend in the history of girlfriends.
 

rick James

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#16
He'd be amazed to find a thread devoted to him on one of Australia's most popular websites.

He should be honoured.

I don't hate him or anything; he's more amusing than anything else. The bloke at the gym I really hate is a guy who walks his pitbull off the lead round my streets and has the best looking girlfriend in the history of girlfriends.
You really need to bring these blokes down to Fighters Factory in Blackburn. It will be really funny. Trust me.
 

raskolnikov

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#17
The most annoying guy I know is the ex father-in-law of a mate of mine. I met him a few times when I was at my mates. He is a full-on religious wacko. Doesn't talk about anything else. Anyway, one day I was at home when there was a knock on the door. It was him. He had driven his sports car around and asked if I wanted to go for a drive. Not being able to come up with any excuse I said I would. Anyway we drove for about twenty minutes then he stopped at a cafe. We went inside and had a coffee. The whole time we were at the cafe he was talking to me about Jesus and how I needed to ask him into my life. It was spring time and my hayfever was being affected by the garden in the cafe. My nose was running and my eyes were red and itchy. I think he thought I was getting emotional about needing Jesus in my life. Anyway as soon as I finished my coffee I said that I needed to get home. Every time I see him now, which is quite often since we live in a smallish town he says he is praying for me. I have talked to my mate about him and he says that he is a total whack job and that he used to do that to him all the time that he was married to his daughter. Not hard to see why they got divorced.
 

richskee

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#18
I know a guy at work his name is Larry or as he likes to be called 'L.MAN' he's literally 6.8ft tall, a lanky giant with a balled head and a stupid goatie.

He sits at his desk karate chopping any pencil that needs to be sharpened even if they aren't his, always asking people to hold the pencil for him while he raises his hand yelling "WAX ON" then he chops saying "WAX OFF" seriously the guy is about 35yo.

But thats not even the worst, whenever someone says something like "I'm off to the toilet" or even the 'weather is nice today' he will scream "TAXI!" it doesn't even make sense.

L.MAN also has a stupid obsession with scrunching up paper and I mean if he needs to chuck out a 10 page print he will tightly scrunch up every sheet and take them to the end of the hallway where he will bowl them into the bin 5m away screaming "Donald! Clean Bowl" "Polick, clean Bowl" yes he's a South African fan and he's bloody Australian.

He insists that everyone knows how fast he is at touch typing making immature comments like "Geez Rich, your not that quick at typing." Even asking people for a iphone SMS type off, what a ruddy dick!

He asked every girl in the office every ****ing day "Do you think my goatee needs a trim" While he ponders it like a stupid wizard.

I could honestly go on and on, the guys is easily the biggest dick I know.

NO-ONE can beat the "L.MAN" :thumbsdown:
 

Damon_3388

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#19
I know a guy at work his name is Larry or as he likes to be called 'L.MAN' he's literally 6.8ft tall, a lanky giant with a balled head and a stupid goatie.

He sits at his desk karate chopping any pencil that needs to be sharpened even if they aren't his, always asking people to hold the pencil for him while he raises his hand yelling "WAX ON" then he chops saying "WAX OFF" seriously the guy is about 35yo.

But thats not even the worst, whenever someone says something like "I'm off to the toilet" or even the 'weather is nice today' he will scream "TAXI!" it doesn't even make sense.

L.MAN also has a stupid obsession with scrunching up paper and I mean if he needs to chuck out a 10 page print he will tightly scrunch up every sheet and take them to the end of the hallway where he will bowl them into the bin 5m away screaming "Donald! Clean Bowl" "Polick, clean Bowl" yes he's a South African fan and he's bloody Australian.

He insists that everyone knows how fast he is at touch typing making immature comments like "Geez Rich, your not that quick at typing." Even asking people for a iphone SMS type off, what a ruddy dick!

He asked every girl in the office every ****ing day "Do you think my goatee needs a trim" While he ponders it like a stupid wizard.

I could honestly go on and on, the guys is easily the biggest dick I know.

NO-ONE can beat the "L.MAN" :thumbsdown:
I think L.MAN needs his own television show :D
 

vonn

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#21
The most annoying person I know is my male bestfriends ex, my former friend, who decided to piss me off, and is now deathly scared of me, but always gets her flirt on with him when I'm not around, and then gets shit scared when I am. Two faced Biatch.
 

Rowie09

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#22
The most annoying person I know is my male bestfriends ex, my former friend, who decided to piss me off, and is now deathly scared of me, but always gets her flirt on with him when I'm not around, and then gets shit scared when I am. Two faced Biatch.
pics
 
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#23
I know a guy at work his name is Larry or as he likes to be called 'L.MAN' he's literally 6.8ft tall, a lanky giant with a balled head and a stupid goatie.

He sits at his desk karate chopping any pencil that needs to be sharpened even if they aren't his, always asking people to hold the pencil for him while he raises his hand yelling "WAX ON" then he chops saying "WAX OFF" seriously the guy is about 35yo.

But thats not even the worst, whenever someone says something like "I'm off to the toilet" or even the 'weather is nice today' he will scream "TAXI!" it doesn't even make sense.

L.MAN also has a stupid obsession with scrunching up paper and I mean if he needs to chuck out a 10 page print he will tightly scrunch up every sheet and take them to the end of the hallway where he will bowl them into the bin 5m away screaming "Donald! Clean Bowl" "Polick, clean Bowl" yes he's a South African fan and he's bloody Australian.

He insists that everyone knows how fast he is at touch typing making immature comments like "Geez Rich, your not that quick at typing." Even asking people for a iphone SMS type off, what a ruddy dick!

He asked every girl in the office every ****ing day "Do you think my goatee needs a trim" While he ponders it like a stupid wizard.

I could honestly go on and on, the guys is easily the biggest dick I know.

NO-ONE can beat the "L.MAN" :thumbsdown:

This guy sounds ****ing hilarious!
 
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