Divorce

[Bostonian]

The moral of the story is don't get married

The moral of the story is sign a pre-nup and bury gold in a place they will never find it.

 

[Scotland]

I really hope that same sex marriage coming in leads to an overhaul of the divorce system in Australia.

 

[craigos]

Has anyone ever gone through a de fatco break up? Have a friend that did and it seemed just as messy as being married. Pretty sure his ex got paid out for part of a business in which she never worked a day in her life at and what he had spent his entire life building. Really should be limited to what you earn during the years together not what you have accumulated over your life time.

I have everything I own (yachts, investment properties, sports cars & helicopter) listed in my parents name for this exact reason.

 

[outabounds]

Has anyone ever gone through a de fatco break up? Have a friend that did and it seemed just as messy as being married. Pretty sure his ex got paid out for part of a business in which she never worked a day in her life at and what he had spent his entire life building. Really should be limited to what you earn during the years together not what you have accumulated over your life time.

I have everything I own (yachts, investment properties, sports cars & helicopter) listed in my parents name for this exact reason.

I actually wanted my ex to do well out of my settlement, to have nice things and a good place to live, after all, my kids live with her, so hiding all my assets was not something I considered ALTHOUGH I was keen to do a deal that protected my Superannuation, so I was generous with property and assets now but my super is 100% mine and I think that was a smart way of doing things in the long run.

 

[Billy ray]

The moral of the story is sign a pre-nup and bury gold in a place they will never find it.

Prenups dont mean anything
Stop watching us tv shows

 

[Bostonian]

Prenups dont mean anything
Stop watching us tv shows

Prenuptial agreements are recognised in Australia by the Family Law Act 1975 (Commonwealth)

 

[PoppedCorn]

How much does a divorce actually cost? Or does it depend on different factors.

Depends on may many things
Can even cost you your superannuation

 

[Smoooothy]

both myself and my brother seperated from our wives (completely unknown to each other) within a week of each other last year. both for completely different reasons.

its been 18 months since then. i'm in a far better relationship now with a great girl. certainly not trying to say the grass is greener, because it wasn't for a long time.

my divorce was finalised a few weeks ago, didn't cost anywhere near as much as i thought it would. didn't own a house together, didn't lose any of my super. very lucky that she wanted it done as quickly as i did. $1600 well spent IMO

can go into further detail as to what the whole process if theres enough interest. its a pretty brutal process

 

[TheKanga]

My parents divorced when i was a kid.
Got pretty messy.

My older sister is getting divorced as well after her marriage turned bitter.

It's gets easier with time but generally will will be tough for awhile.

 

[Perth gal]

Has anyone ever gone through a de fatco break up? Have a friend that did and it seemed just as messy as being married. Pretty sure his ex got paid out for part of a business in which she never worked a day in her life at and what he had spent his entire life building. Really should be limited to what you earn during the years together not what you have accumulated over your life time.

I have everything I own (yachts, investment properties, sports cars & helicopter) listed in my parents name for this exact reason.

I don't believe that defactos should get squat. Jmo. One foot in is the same as one foot out . Same as people that try and take half of stuff they did not help to accumulate. It's ridiculous.

 

[Catfish Alley]

I can't imagine keeping tabs of who accumulates what. I just figure it's a joint effort. We got married young with pretty much nothing though. I guess it would be a different story if you married later in life and had your own things built up.

 

[Smoooothy]

I can't imagine keeping tabs of who accumulates what. I just figure it's a joint effort. We got married young with pretty much nothing though. I guess it would be a different story if you married later in life and had your own things built up.

i pretty much left with a bed, a couch, tv and fridge. she got everything else from our house

 

[craigos]

i pretty much left with a bed, a couch, tv and fridge. she got everything else from our house

As long as the fridge was full of beer I'd say you come out of it alright

 

[Smoooothy]

As long as the fridge was full of beer I'd say you come out of it alright

by full of beer, it had 2 beers in it!

 

[Billy ray]

Following my financial split, I basically left with half of the loot.
But in dollar terms, it was essentially where I was when I met her (which was a nice net asset position).

So when we met, she had minimal assets (car and some possession), I had a villa owned outright and a car and some possessions.

Then over the following 15 years of living together, we both worked full time (other than 2 years of maternity leave for her for the two boys), had good paying jobs and contributed our own super etc. So the net loot pretty much exactly doubled over that time. which was basically the family home and better cars.
Then we split - new loot total got split in half (we kept our own super).
And by coincidence, my half of the loot was the same as what I brought into the relationship.

But I harbour no ill feeling about that - we were a team for the duration, and after a few years (with kids), everything under law becomes 'ours', so its right to split it in such a way. and i want her to have a nice place for my kids to live half the time. and I pay my child support too as required.

I could have done worse like other guys do - some guys get 30% or less as their ex partner doesn't work, stays home looking after kids, earns little or not money and pays no super - so they need to be compensated for that and get a higher share and they pay a lot of ongopng child support as well as this lump sum up front. (I know it can happen the other way where the man is the stay at home etc, but that's historically very rare).

so I was happy with 50-50 split for upfront settlement. (if our assets hadn't doubled over time , I could have walked away with less in $ terms that I had 15 years earlier). and I am happy to pay the child support for another decade or so I need to.

 

[Smoooothy]

oh child support - i love that aspect of divorce

currently paying 1100 a month.. because my kids are in my ex wifes care 24/7 (her choice, not mine - she left the state as soon as she could)

 

[Flash of power]

oh child support - i love that aspect of divorce

currently paying 1100 a month.. because my kids are in my ex wifes care 24/7 (her choice, not mine - she left the state as soon as she could)

The child support system totally sucks, most dads and mums for that matter want to do what is fair, but there is no recourse when bitchy women do shit like this, I had a mate whose ex took the kids interstate to Adelaide from Tassie, he ended up moving to Adelaide on a much lower salary to be near his kids, and she cracked the shits because her child support went down and then moved to Qld to be near her mum and blamed him because she could no longer afford to live in Adelaide because of the reduction in child support.

Should not be allowed to dick with the non custodial parent like that.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

When my parents split they kept it out of the courts so as to minimise the fallout. They didn't own a house though so that probably makes it easier. I lived with mum and my brother lived with dad, and they let us go back and forth between the houses as we pleased. I guess they did it the best way possible.

 

[Catgirl]

oh child support - i love that aspect of divorce

currently paying 1100 a month.. because my kids are in my ex wifes care 24/7 (her choice, not mine - she left the state as soon as she could)

Lol feel you.
My dad is currently on his deathbed, and is pursuing a Workcover claim. Receives a reduced wage of $800 per week, $500 per week of which is going towards my brother's child support. Was a weekly $230 deduction initially but my mum had a baby with her new partner and decided to get a cash in hand job and milk child support for all it's worth. Funny because when I was a child, my mum was mandated to pay $6 PER YEAR for me. ****ing disgrace.

I had to work graveyard shifts and had a 60% attendance rate in Year 12 trying to put food on the table for my dad and I, representing him in court and taking him to medical and legal appointments. Turned 18 and moved out to escape the mess.

Child Support did the opposite of support my brother and I. He's 15 and seeing a therapist. Tells me he has no one to talk to. It's the smoking gun of the scorned ex partner and the system is grossly outdated as it is

 

[Papa G]

oh child support - i love that aspect of divorce

currently paying 1100 a month.. because my kids are in my ex wifes care 24/7 (her choice, not mine - she left the state as soon as she could)

That's about $254 a week. How much do you think it costs to pay for a couple of kids? I'm a bloke and have children (I'm married), but kids cost a fortune. Just saying that $250 per week to feed, clothe, house etc etc doesn't seem all that much to me.

 

[Scotland]

It's not the father's responsibility to pay for the kids, it's his responsibility to contribute towards it.

 

[Catfish Alley]

$250 for a couple sounds about right though.

 

[Billy ray]

oh child support - i love that aspect of divorce

currently paying 1100 a month.. because my kids are in my ex wifes care 24/7 (her choice, not mine - she left the state as soon as she could)

Yeh that sucks.
If my ex pulled that at least I can follow as I work from home and so long as I have internet and a phone I can work so I am lucky in that regard.

 

[Smoooothy]

That's about $254 a week. How much do you think it costs to pay for a couple of kids? I'm a bloke and have children (I'm married), but kids cost a fortune. Just saying that $250 per week to feed, clothe, house etc etc doesn't seem all that much to me.

thats not the point i was trying to make

the law states that the mother or father of a seperated family cannot move states unless there is a written agreement, which there is not in this case

i want to have my kids every day. i don't get that choice, all i get is the bill and a campaigner of an ex who doesn't spend the child support on the kids

 

[Flash of power]

thats not the point i was trying to make

the law states that the mother or father of a seperated family cannot move states unless there is a written agreement, which there is not in this case

i want to have my kids every day. i don't get that choice, all i get is the bill and a campaigner of an ex who doesn't spend the child support on the kids

Is there actually a law preventing that? I thought it was only by a court order to that affect that it was not allowed. If she has taken them without permission maybe you can apply to the family court to have her return them?