Certified Legendary Thread Do you stand up to wipe?

[craigos]

Y'all need a bidet! The perfect mothers day gift!

(NSFW)

 

[raskolnikov]

Ridiculous. Some filthy campaigners going around.

Probably a kid i went to school with. Would come into class first thing in the morning, do some sort of somersault thing on the ground...pull his pants down and spread his ass cheeks. I vividly remember seeing either s**t filled cheeks or some freaky ass birthmark.

Damn the things you remember as a 7 year old.

FMD

I remember going swimming for school one time. Someone left their jocks on the change room floor. The whole class was seated on the lawn waiting to leave. The teacher held up the jocks to ask whose they were. The whole class and the teacher saw the skid marks at the same time and there was a collective "Ewww..". Incredibly the kid they belonged to owned up to them.

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

I remember going swimming for school one time. Someone left their jocks on the change room floor. The whole class was seated on the lawn waiting to leave. The teacher held up the jocks to ask whose they were. The whole class and the teacher saw the skid marks at the same time and there was a collective "Ewww..". Incredibly the kid they belonged to owned up to them.

Haha what a stupid little turd, literally

 

[pantskyle]

Haha what a stupid little turd, literally

 

[Marmik]

This is so strange lol. People actually stand to wipe? How does this even work? Doesn't s**t smear between your cheeks as you wipe? Unless you do an awkward bend over stand to wipe your ass? Wtf

 

[HairyO]

This is so strange lol. People actually stand to wipe? How does this even work? Doesn't s**t smear between your cheeks as you wipe? Unless you do an awkward bend over stand to wipe your ass? Wtf

Seems to me that youre fishing for a video demonstration. Ewww !

 

[Marmik]

Seems to me that youre fishing for a video demonstration. Ewww !

How did you know? I want in on this!

 

[Jack Stevens]

I recently got my 3 year chip as a reformed seated wiper at a Wipers Anonymous meeting

 

[DemonJim]

I can't believe I didn't update this thread. Since my last post here I've been a sitter.
I am transformed.

 

[mr bagcroft]

It's come to my attention that there's a split in the "sitting" team. I myself am a sitter and wipe thru the passage way that my legs create. However, there are some out there that enter the area from the side, meaning they lean to one side, lift the opposite side leg up and wipe.

I guess it may depend on whether you have room to go through the legs, but its much less effort required. Thoughts people?

holy mother of...you guys are WAY overthinking this s**t. Literally.
Yeah anyway. my story...I discovered this thread yesterday and I was shocked. People actually sit? GTFO!
Then I discovered that standers seems to be the ones regarded as the weird ones!
*!
I never considered this being a thing, ever, at all. Never thought about. Only humans that I thought would wipe sitting down, if I HAD to think about it would have been females.
It strikes me as kind of a girlie kind of thing to be honest with you.
You stand up and get that job done.
Bending this way, cocking a leg the other way, half crouching tiger hidden dragon limb oragami bullshit. Christ.
Im shocked its a thing, I accept I am on the weird side and....

Only on Bigfooty. Love ya BF.

 

[Marmik]

FFS someone post a tutorial on how to do it the correct way

 

[Billy ray]

I sit always - I mean not just to wipe, but I never use a urinal and sit when taking a pee

I dont like splashback on either my shoes (full urinals) or my waist (smaller urinals), and im lazy and like to sit.
so while you guys are pissing on your shoes, im sitting learning something on my phone..

come at me, weirdos

 

[Quivorir]

I sit always - I mean not just to wipe, but I never use a urinal and sit when taking a pee

I dont like splashback on either my shoes (full urinals) or my waist (smaller urinals), and im lazy and like to sit.
so while you guys are pissing on your shoes, im sitting learning something on my phone..

come at me, weirdos

What are you learning in the 10 seconds it takes to piss?

 

[Marmik]

I sit always - I mean not just to wipe, but I never use a urinal and sit when taking a pee

I dont like splashback on either my shoes (full urinals) or my waist (smaller urinals), and im lazy and like to sit.
so while you guys are pissing on your shoes, im sitting learning something on my phone..

come at me, weirdos

Who can be bothered lining the toilet with toilet paper just to piss?

 

[Barry Roundhouse]

What are you learning in the 10 seconds it takes to piss?

I assume he is watching a very short tutorial on how to be a woman.

 

[pantskyle]

I assume he is watching a very short tutorial on how to be a women.

Maybe he is watching a very long tutorial on how to be a women but only in 10 second blocks.

 

[Barry Roundhouse]

Maybe he is watching a very long tutorial on how to be a women but only in 10 second blocks.

Very possible.

Also, couldn't rule out an audio book.

 

[Billy ray]

Who can be bothered lining the toilet with toilet paper just to piss?

I rarely use public toilets. I don't get out of mums basement that often

 

[FISTO]

In addition to standing to wipe, If you face forward while shitting you're also doing it wrong.

 

[Parasite]

What are you learning in the 10 seconds it takes to piss?

Or maybe a video on Hepatitis symptoms from sitting on so many filthy public toilet seats.

 

[Parasite]

I have a foot in both camps by the way. Sit, s**t, Wipe, Stand, Wipe to make sure because my butt is hairy, Flush.

 

[Andonis1997]

I have a foot in both camps by the way. Sit, s**t, Wipe, Stand, Wipe to make sure because my butt is hairy, Flush.

Ew, you flush? What the hell is wrong with you..

 

[quotemokc]

Lift buttocks off toilet bowl ever so slightly, or alternatively, slide forward a little. Toilet paper in hand, slip hand under resulting gap.

Not rocket science!

If your ass is off the bowl you are now squatting not sitting.

Delete thread.

 

[Doss]

Well that's just not true.

 

[Xtreme]

I sit to pee
And I sit to wipe

Huzzaaaa