Does my son really want to work?

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Copeland said:
Its not that he refuses to work its he's fussy about what he does. When he worked with me his work ethic was very poor and often late. He seemed to be late all the time for his last job but he assured me he wasn't, hopefully he can find something he really likes and apply himself accordingly.

@ pies1958 so your Dad worked, did all the house work, cooked and cleaned and gave you handouts. Wow very tough on him, sounds like my wife.
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Dad tried to get babysitters and cleaners to help out but my older brother and sister would make sure they never lasted more than one day. We had a tough babysitter once - built like a Mallee bull - who lasted a couple of weeks and gave them a run for their money. The day she quit she flushed my brother's head down the toilet and then walked out.

But yeah my dad did some of the cooking and cleaning. My sister and I helped out with that too sometimes. Although we're not close cos he remarried an ex-nun - who was a Sister of Misery - I still have great respect for him. A single dad with four young kids in the 70s and 80s didn't get much community support. We had an aunty who helped out sometimes though.
 
Only just came across this thread. Read all the previous posts and as others have said, I too was just like your son. I was still living at home at 24. I was an apprentice then and got kicked out. I moved out with my then girlfriend (now wife). Copeland, hope things have improved for you on a personal level. Where I am now married with 3 kids, Im very happy but I do wish I had got fair dinkum earlier in life instead of cruising along. Cruising earlier in life makes it FAR harder later in it as i have found out!

Have you suggested the military to your son? All armed forces have many jobs that deal directly with computers, and they will sort out his lazy streak. Hope things work out well for you man.
 

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Copeland said:
Ha can't join the Military , he has screws and plates in his arm.

But he got a job last week, Its only Dominoes but its a job.
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Hopefully he Sticks with this Job.

Geez his Arm's sounds like it's in a Bad Way
 
Copeland said:
Ha can't join the Military , he has screws and plates in his arm.

But he got a job last week, Its only Dominoes but its a job.
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That's great news! A job's a job, regardless of what it is. I remember the shitty jobs I had when I was first starting out.

Let's hope he sticks with it (and gets discounted pizza!:D).
 
Glad to hear he is getting some work at least. It has been said already, but you are in a tough situation there. I am not a father but I know I caused my father all sorts of grief for awhile until I got my life together, and I still do now just for a bit of fun;) .

It is tricky for kids leaving school these days because they are from the instant gratification generation, they get whatever they want straight away. After spending 13 years in school before your allowed to be an adult, and then being told you need to study for another 3-4 years to do the job you want, they often become annoyed and throw up the old 'why bother'. Also unfortunately a lot of kids are very self involved at this stage of their life so seeing a bigger picture is hard for them. There is also to much perception from society on the 'better' jobs and how if you don't go to uni your life is over. It will take kids awhile to work out that that is crap.

My advice to all young school leavers now is have a gap year, definitely go travelling or get a job. If you are doing a course and you don't like it, then don't keep doing it. Defer or stop. Whatever it takes but don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do because chances are, unless you are really disciplined, you will stumble and then give up.

It doesn't matter what you do in life as long as you do something, you don't want to be the kind of person that relies on other people your whole life. From someone who dealt with serious apathy issues, that is about the best you can say. Also say that moving out is awesome fun... it also teaches you how to have a responsibility, but just mention the fun part.
 
Does he have any interests at all in education?

I see he likes PCs, tell him to do any IT course at uni and that would open up several jobs such as teaching, help desks, management and etc
 
tazzawazza said:
Does he have any interests at all in education?

I see he likes PCs, tell him to do any IT course at uni and that would open up several jobs such as teaching, help desks, management and etc
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Unfortunately he hasn't much interest education.
 
Stratton_Gun said:
Not sure why I am reading this thread......and at 4am none the less but if Copeland was a Hawthorn supporter I would be wondering if he was my Dad :p
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How're you going with your degree? I think you said that you were just about to finish a sports science degree but wasn't interested in it?
 

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TheFreshBanana said:
How're you going with your degree? I think you said that you were just about to finish a sports science degree but wasn't interested in it?
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Business and majoring in Sports Mgt but the rest is correct! Finishing it this year (barring unexpected failure of exams) but have no plans to continue with it in the near future. My Dad's been on my back since the end of Y12 to get a job as well (and mum too to a lesser extent) and although I have had a couple, none that have lasted more than about 3 months (either due to me hating it or there being no hours). Now I gotta find a job and my Dad will be even more forward especially as I turned down the chance to do post grad stuff. Currently doing a short course in Warehousing with a forklift license (only runs for 2 weeks) as I liked it when I worked over summer last year.
Although if this doesn't work out I got no idea
 
Stratton_Gun said:
Business and majoring in Sports Mgt but the rest is correct! Finishing it this year (barring unexpected failure of exams) but have no plans to continue with it in the near future. My Dad's been on my back since the end of Y12 to get a job as well (and mum too to a lesser extent) and although I have had a couple, none that have lasted more than about 3 months (either due to me hating it or there being no hours). Now I gotta find a job and my Dad will be even more forward especially as I turned down the chance to do post grad stuff. Currently doing a short course in Warehousing with a forklift license (only runs for 2 weeks) as I liked it when I worked over summer last year.
Although if this doesn't work out I got no idea
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Good luck mate. Being uncertain about what you want to do can be bloody daunting.
 
Copeland said:
Been for his second interview with James print, still waiting to hear. They wanted to check his color blindness and the result was that it was mild.
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Hope he gets the Job
 
Copeland said:
Having trouble with my 19yo son. Wants get a trainee-ship in IT, but there's not a lot around. Wont do factory work and doesn't spend many hours a week looking for work. But he does spend up to 12hrs a day on his pc. He did get a job at JB HIFI but they put him off saying because they just put a manager on there was not enough work for him, but I think it may be his work ethic. He works with me occasionally at a service station and does the bare minimum, I'm afraid it will permanently damage our relationship because I'm always on his back. I have given him 3 months to get a job or he will loose his pc but he hasn't changed his ways. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Cope m8 I feel your pain! My son - now nearly 28 - dropped out of school at 15. He was clever enough but hated school, like your son he was computer mad and had to practically be prized off the PC for meals or sleep even. For YEARS he bummed around doing this or that short course and dabbling in direct selling etc., it looked for a while as if he was going to drift into and aimless and wasted life :(

Finally when a mate of his graduated from NMIT with a degree and my son couldn't afford to go out with him anymore because his mate was going out to restraunts and shows etc my lad woke up to the fact that he had been living on the scrapings left over by people living full lives.

At 24 years old he had a year 9 education with no real experience at anything except perhaps World of Warcraft :( He came to me and asked me what he could do thank heavens, fortunately I had been putting money aside since before he was born in an education fund so I told him to get back to school and get serious about getting some education and qualifications.

He went through adult education and got his HSC and then looked around for courses to set him up, again he asked me what he should look for and I told him to look to work at what he loved doing.

He looked around for computer sofware programming courses and came back to me with a short list of 2, 1 was at RMIT and used the standard public school stuff costing about $20,000 all up over 3 years. The second was a private college in Port Melbourne that specialized in computer sofware programming courses whose Dean was an ex industry professional and all the professors were ex industry professionals from various sections of the industry. The software they used was the latest available and current industry standard and they demanded the students supply themselves with a high end new laptop before acceptance to any course. The cost was something approaching $30,000 per year for the course.

I dragged myself off to an open day and spoke to everyone I could tie down and come away super impressed with their attitude and resources.

Needless to say I put up the money for the college school course. The very first report I got back from his teachers in that first year was a revelation and a relief - he was a model student, always partipating and often leading discussions and work groups. It's amazing how a kid can turn themselves around when given the opportunity and support to do what they love.

He's just graduated - with honours - and now holds a diploma of multi media enterainment something or other :confused::) He spent a fair bit of those years at college networking and doing work groups outside the college in his own time, making connections and building relationships within the industry and 6 months ago was asked to do an internship with a software development company in Ottowa.

He leaves these shores to build his life in mid January and its possible I won't seem him again but by god I'm proud :)
 
Copeland said:
Great story mate and an even better out come. They're got to want to change I think is the key.
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"You never know the value of something until you lose it" - quote by someone.
 
Copeland said:
Great story mate and an even better out come. They're got to want to change I think is the key.
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DEFINITELY SO Cope! It's like giving up ciggies I smoked up until the age of 36 and had tried to give up using every help imaginable for 5 years yet by Christmas of '90 I was still a 40 a day wheezer. One day I found myself totally out of breath after a 15 minute walk taking my son to school :eek:

Realized I was on the downward path and made a decision, threw my nearly full packet of ciggies away on the spot and haven't touched one since!

You have to WANT IT to make meaningful change.
 
Tarkyn_24 said:
Personally I don't blame him.

Wasted talent is the most annoying thing in the world. Have a similar situation with a family member where they have all the talent in the world but because of a couple of bad breaks they've become disenchanted with the whole lot. This past year the sofas become a refuge for them and its driven me absolutely insane because I believe in what they're capable of and they just won't help themselves,
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My dear departed mum would sympathise Tarks, my elder brother Lisle was one of those ones who natrually excelled at anything that took their fancy. He was a talented cartoonist, sensational accoustic guitarist, fully qualified spray painter and french polisher yet misspent all that talent driving trucks for a living :oops:

Was one of those in the train carriage that was squashed under the Granville bridge years ago, we could only recognize him from his tatts :(
 
jonbe54 said:
My dear departed mum would sympathise Tarks, my elder brother Lisle was one of those ones who natrually excelled at anything that took their fancy. He was a talented cartoonist, sensational accoustic guitarist, fully qualified spray painter and french polisher yet misspent all that talent driving trucks for a living :oops:

Was one of those in the train carriage that was squashed under the Granville bridge years ago, we could only recognize him from his tatts :(
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I'm sorry to hear it jonbe54 :( it's frustrating but at the end of the day you can only live your life and they live theirs. For me my energy, particularly in the new year is just doing what I can to be a good example and hopefully guide them t getting the most out of themselves, I'm an awful sportsman (this is the field were talking in this case) but my attitude is to get myself to the level that I expect her to get to. If I can achieve it, she can.
 
Tarkyn_24 said:
I'm sorry to hear it jonbe54 :( it's frustrating but at the end of the day you can only live your life and they live theirs. For me my energy, particularly in the new year is just doing what I can to be a good example and hopefully guide them t getting the most out of themselves, I'm an awful sportsman (this is the field were talking in this case) but my attitude is to get myself to the level that I expect her to get to. If I can achieve it, she can.
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Agreed Tarks it was instilled in me from the moment I could talk, whenever I complained that it was too hard or too boring mum or dad would quietly intone "Excelsior!" or worse yet "Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is your best!" o_O

God I hated those two sayings when I was young :(

But they insidiously got inside my head and lodged there so that I have lived my life as a personal perfectionist, never imposing my standards on anyone else but always seeking to improve in any endevour.

If my personal example leads others to re-evaluate their lives and strive for betterment, great. If not however its no drama - we each have our own personal travel itinery along life's highways and byways :thumbsu:
 
jonbe54 said:
My dear departed mum would sympathise Tarks, my elder brother Lisle was one of those ones who natrually excelled at anything that took their fancy. He was a talented cartoonist, sensational accoustic guitarist, fully qualified spray painter and french polisher yet misspent all that talent driving trucks for a living :oops:

Was one of those in the train carriage that was squashed under the Granville bridge years ago, we could only recognize him from his tatts :(
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Wow that's terrible mate.
 
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