Thank you for sharing. Your story hit me prettyMy sons problem was over the counter and prescription pain killers, doctor and chemist shopping. He was a pot smoker from when he was around 15, he smoked everyday, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then to get to sleep at night.
I can't say, with hand on heart, that I didn't know, I think I chose not to know, if that makes sense. But it got worse for him.
One day i'm driving down Canning Hwy in Perth and I get a phone call from my daughter, she tells me she was looking in her brothers room and saw him shooting up, everything dropped inside of me at that moment, but of course I told her she was lying, I screamed down the phone at her, this poor 14 year old girl who thought she was doing the right thing, which she was, was being abused, called all sorts of terrible names by her mother. I arrived home and refused to discuss it with her, we never have and that was 20 years ago!
So trying not to make this too long, the next year was unbearable for me, their father and I had an awful marriage for 22 years and I always said to myself that when the kids were old enough i'd leave him, and I did, my daughter was 15, my son was 18, I begged them to come with me but neither of them would leave their dad, I can understand why, he was well off and a pretty decent father, so they stayed with him.
I had to move states, I came back to S.A. to be with my family, he threatened me on nearly a daily basis if I didn't come home so I ran, gutless, yes, life saving, yes...
So the years went on, my children and I had a good relationship even though it was long distance.
But without my knowledge my sons pot smoking had got out of control and he found the cheapest way to combat the pain of withdrawals was to medicate with pain killers, it would be nothing for him to take 20 panadiene forté at a time, then one night after he'd been to the funeral of his best mate he passed away, the Coroners report said he died of multiple drug toxicity, they didn't know if it was a suicide or an accidental overdose. I like to think of it as accidental, I can't bear the thought of him taking his own life.
It has had a massive impact on my daughters and his fathers life, she spends all of her money on psychics, even to this day, 3 years, 11 1/2 months later she's still doing it. My ex husband tells me that it's all my fault for leaving, he doesn't have to tell me that though, I blame myself for the whole sordid mess, the guilt I carry everday is dibilitating sometimes..
Some of you may judge me, and i'm ok with that but I just wanted to share how pot can be very addictive, people say that you have to have an addictive personality, I call BS on that, it can happen to anyone!!
Sorry for the novel, once I started I couldn't stop, this is the only place in nearly 4 years that ivé felt safe enough to tell my story, I thank you all for that!
hard. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you can unburden yourself of your guilt sometime soon.
It doesn't sound like there was much you could have done to control the choices of your son, he needed to want to help himself first. Its not your fault.
I grew up south of the river in WA and every single one of my old friends have been ruined by weed. They're just shells of the people they used to be. I worry about this happening one day with my young children and hope they'll have some resilience in this crazy world.
I find that people espouse heavy weed use being 'safe' a bit misguided for various reasons and obviously don't know many older smokers to see the long term results.