Drunk work stories

[Hamingja]

I'v never been drunk at work myself but I've had a few students show up drunk, hungover or stoned.

And that is just the primary school kids.

 

[raskolnikov]

And that is just the primary school kids.

That was just the preps.

 

[Plugger35]

I had waaaaay too much cake one night and woke up the next day three times more gone than when Id fallen asleep (and I was pretty bad then).
I was a rep going business to business cold calling at the time and figured 'what the hell?'
I pretty much spent the day stumbling into shops and offices where I would mumble incoherent s**t at whoever had the misfortune to be behind recerption for a while then apologize and walk out.

Was that mull cake? One of my old housemates grew her own dope plants and made up some mull muffins, we ate one each one night and ended up so stoned we could barely speak, I was still pretty stoned the next day too.

A bloke I used to work with back then bragged about how hard he partied on the weekends taking drugs so I told him about these mull muffins. He asked me to bring one into work where he would eat it at work, I told him there was no way he could handle working after eating one of these, we were working as insurance brokers where you had to take a lot of calls from clients and underwriters but he was like "challenge accepted".

So I brought one into work and he ate it, by midday he came over to my office and said "f*** you're right, they're really strong", I thought he would've had to go home but he still managed to work the rest of the day taking phone calls and being relatively normal. The only thing that gave him away was that he was laughing a lot more than usual and our office was about as much fun as a funeral parlour where laughing was out of the ordinary.

We also joked about bringing these mull muffins in for morning tea, they actually tasted like regular muffins so people would have been none the wiser.

 

[Beerfish]

I remember in my younger days a friend was putting an ounce into a chocolate cake but accidentally spilled a heap on the carpet. She scraped it all up and when people were eating it they were getting bits of hair and grit so she had to fess up as to why.

Fast forward an hour later and nobody gave a s**t.

 

[William Wonka]

Was that that mull cake? One of my old housemates grew her own dope plants and made up some mull muffins, we ate one each one night and ended up so stoned we could barely speak, I was still pretty stoned the next day too.

A bloke I used to work with back then bragged about how hard he partied on the weekends taking drugs so I told him about these mull muffins. He asked me to bring one into work where he would eat it at work, I told him there was no way he could handle working after eating one of these, we were working as insurance brokers where you had to take a lot of calls from clients and underwriters but he was like "challenge accepted".

So I brought one into work and he ate it, by midday he came over to my office and said "f*** you're right, they're really strong", I thought he would've had to go home but he still managed to work the rest of the day taking phone calls and being relatively normal. The only thing that gave him away was that he was laughing a lot more than usual and our office was about as much fun as a funeral parlour where laughing was out of the ordinary.

We also joked about bringing these mull muffins in for morning tea, they actually tasted like regular muffins so people would have been none the wiser.

If dope cake didn't taste like satans cum then it was not strong enough in our book.
We used to make the butter so black that just the smell would have you gagging.
Eating it was a matter of rolling it into pills and holding your nose while you necked them.

Of course that was decades ago and is definitely the uncivilized way of going about things.
In recent years I just put a few grams of prevaped bud into pure melted chocolate 1000 × better tastewise with the same effect.

 

[Silent Alarm]

I think weed is one of the most overrated things in life and the vibe is totally different to the actual experience. This is best summed up by the cringeworthy remark of 'smoke a joint man, calm down.' If I smoke a joint I'll end up thinking the tram is a truck, the cops will do a search of said tram, and I'll end up frozen in the middle of a street and then get home and proceed to worry about my heart rate. It's basically just a few hours of feeling really anxious and up tight and a bit weird.

Even when I've had fun smoking it, usually when I was a teenager, we'd do usual dumb stuff like walk to the service station the farthest away to eat ice cream with a Kitkat as a spoon, but in the end I'd think there were people hiding behind signs or wake up from a mini sleep and have no idea whose room it was, have no ability to recognise my friend's faces, and genuinely think I'd been abducted.

The idea of this being turned up into paralysis, and then being in this state for like 12 hours is so dumb you'd only ever do it for the story until you remember the story has been told before and it's boring.

As for rocking up to a class in a poor shape, well that doesn't count. I wouldn't respect any student who didn't go to a class in last night's clothes or quite clearly stinking of a beer garden. I used to think I was the coolest campaigner out when I did it like I was some rock star playing Dallas after partying until 4 in LA the night before, but it's not that cool at all.

 

[Plugger35]

If dope cake didn't taste like satans cum then it was not strong enough in our book.
We used to make the butter so black that just the smell would have you gagging.
Eating it was a matter of rolling it into pills and holding your nose while you necked them.

Of course that was decades ago and is definitely the uncivilized way of going about things.
In recent years I just put a few grams of prevaped bud into pure melted chocolate 1000 × better tastewise with the same effect.

These muffins were chocolate flavoured, the chocolate masked the dope taste.

They were actually quite delicious, at a party at our place we served them up for dessert with ice cream and some people even asked for seconds.

They ended up in a stoned coma for about a week.

 

[Power Raid]

A navy story.......

Two frigates were parked alongside each other and a stoker (mechanic) got so s**t faced, when he went to bed he s**t himself.

The issue wasn’t just the s**t but worse he was in the right rack (bed) but wrong ship.

He literally shat in someone else’s bed.

 

[William Wonka]

I think weed is one of the most overrated things in life and the vibe is totally different to the actual experience. This is best summed up by the cringeworthy remark of 'smoke a joint man, calm down.' If I smoke a joint I'll end up thinking the tram is a truck, the cops will do a search of said tram, and I'll end up frozen in the middle of a street and then get home and proceed to worry about my heart rate. It's basically just a few hours of feeling really anxious and up tight and a bit weird.

Even when I've had fun smoking it, usually when I was a teenager, we'd do usual dumb stuff like walk to the service station the farthest away to eat ice cream with a Kitkat as a spoon, but in the end I'd think there were people hiding behind signs or wake up from a mini sleep and have no idea whose room it was, have no ability to recognise my friend's faces, and genuinely think I'd been abducted.

The idea of this being turned up into paralysis, and then being in this state for like 12 hours is so dumb you'd only ever do it for the story until you remember the story has been told before and it's boring.

As for rocking up to a class in a poor shape, well that doesn't count. I wouldn't respect any student who didn't go to a class in last night's clothes or quite clearly stinking of a beer garden. I used to think I was the coolest campaigner out when I did it like I was some rock star playing Dallas after partying until 4 in LA the night before, but it's not that cool at all.

Yeah...
Dont smoke weed my friend, its not for you.
Seriously and please, please, please do not take offense and its most likely not the case but what you are describing CAN be a warning sign that you MAY have a predisposition towards schizophrenia.

 

[Vedder]

Yeah...
Dont smoke weed my friend, its not for you.
Seriously and please, please, please do not take offense and its most likely not the case but what you are describing CAN be a warning sign that you MAY have a predisposition towards schizophrenia.

Yeh in my younger days me and my mates were very heavily into the cones, 2 of my mates, brothers, both ended up schizophrenic, we found out later there was a family link with schizo but pretty sure the hooter may have brought it forward a bit, im no doctor mind you but in my mind it definitely had something to do with it

So if you are freaking out a bit you probably should give it a miss

Pissed work story...was in London in the 90's, doing labouring on a work site, s**t money and *ing hard work, one day, my mate and i and a guy from Liverpool went to the pub for lunch for a feed n quick pint, ended up staying there all afternoon and didnt go back to work, next day we turn up to work, thought we would get sacked but not a word was said

Never worked stoned, makes me bit lethargic so couldn't see the point but one day years ago, a mate got hold of these speed tablets, like legal as in prescription drugs but not ours obviously, anyway i was working as a storeman in a big retail shop, I was the only storeman and i had an absolute shitload of stock coming in, popped a tab in the morning at work, short story finished a days work by a bit after lunch n spent the rest of the day talking s**t to the floor staff... was a good day

but just remember kids, drugs are bad, heavy drugs anyway

Know your limits

 

[Silent Alarm]

Yeah...
Dont smoke weed my friend, its not for you.
Seriously and please, please, please do not take offense and its most likely not the case but what you are describing CAN be a warning sign that you MAY have a predisposition towards schizophrenia.

Yeah it just isn't for me, the bouts of that aren't worth it.

You got me paranoid now though but considering I smoke it twice a year so, I think I'll be fine. If it was that easy to flicker it would have happened the first time or so.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

I think weed is one of the most overrated things in life and the vibe is totally different to the actual experience. This is best summed up by the cringeworthy remark of 'smoke a joint man, calm down.' If I smoke a joint I'll end up thinking the tram is a truck, the cops will do a search of said tram, and I'll end up frozen in the middle of a street and then get home and proceed to worry about my heart rate. It's basically just a few hours of feeling really anxious and up tight and a bit weird.

Even when I've had fun smoking it, usually when I was a teenager, we'd do usual dumb stuff like walk to the service station the farthest away to eat ice cream with a Kitkat as a spoon, but in the end I'd think there were people hiding behind signs or wake up from a mini sleep and have no idea whose room it was, have no ability to recognise my friend's faces, and genuinely think I'd been abducted.

The idea of this being turned up into paralysis, and then being in this state for like 12 hours is so dumb you'd only ever do it for the story until you remember the story has been told before and it's boring.

As for rocking up to a class in a poor shape, well that doesn't count. I wouldn't respect any student who didn't go to a class in last night's clothes or quite clearly stinking of a beer garden. I used to think I was the coolest campaigner out when I did it like I was some rock star playing Dallas after partying until 4 in LA the night before, but it's not that cool at all.

Stop living with your parents.

 

[William Wonka]

Yeah it just isn't for me, the bouts of that aren't worth it.

You got me paranoid now though but considering I smoke it twice a year so, I think I'll be fine. If it was that easy to flicker it would have happened the first time or so.

I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

Weed can certainly make anyone paranoid, particularly if you only smoke it rarely and haven't smoked like a chimney in years gone by.
Lots of people peak over cops when they are stoned.
This is silly- cops dont care if you're stoned.

Edit* By the way, never ever ever ever eat it!
Imagine the most smashed you have ever been, times it by ten then consider that the just the starting point on a thirty six hour ride where you keep getting more and more stoned.

 

[Silent Alarm]

Stop living with your parents.

I moved out of home when I was 18... my mates are all only now moving out.

 

[edgie]

I've never got paranoid on weed, but always make sure I've got plenty of recovery time before getting on it.

Couldn't do it on a work night in my room with the parents across the hall like some.

Sent from mTalk

 

[Bomberboyokay]

I moved out of home when I was 18... my mates are all only now moving out.

You moved back in with them you said.

 

[Gralin]

That was just the preps.

There was a prep at the school my mum worked at in the 90s who was going to sleep after lunch and wouldn't wake up easy, then be all disoriented.

They worked out this girl was making her own lunch and thought the west coast cooler was cordial, was bringing a drink bottle of booze to class and knocking it down every day, only happened two or three times before they worked it out I think

 

[Gough]

There was a prep at the school my mum worked at in the 90s who was going to sleep after lunch and wouldn't wake up easy, then be all disoriented.

They worked out this girl was making her own lunch and thought the west coast cooler was cordial, was bringing a drink bottle of booze to class and knocking it down every day, only happened two or three times before they worked it out I think

There's some real dark humour in that.

 

[Power Raid]

There was a prep at the school my mum worked at in the 90s who was going to sleep after lunch and wouldn't wake up easy, then be all disoriented.

They worked out this girl was making her own lunch and thought the west coast cooler was cordial, was bringing a drink bottle of booze to class and knocking it down every day, only happened two or three times before they worked it out I think

I hate to admit it but I loved a WCWC, with the team, after completing a close at Pizza Hut as a teenager

 

[Gough]

I hate to admit it but I loved a WCWC, with the team, after completing a close at Pizza Hut as a teenager

Which one did you work at?

 

[Power Raid]

Which one did you work at?

blackwood

 

[Gough]

blackwood

I knocked around with a couple of lads who worked at the Dulwich one.

 

[Power Raid]

I knocked around with a couple of lads who worked at the Dulwich one.

pizza hut was great fun. I moved to eden hills from parafield and PH was a great opportunity to make friends in the area.

loads of gorgeous girls as well including a 17yo Emma Hack who has gone on to be a successful artist in SA.

 

[Gough]

pizza hut was great fun. I moved to eden hills from parafield and PH was a great opportunity to make friends in the area.

loads of gorgeous girls as well including a 17yo Emma Hack who has gone on to be a successful artist in SA.

I used to call in if they were working late and we were going out afterwards and we'd all huff the nitrous oxide canisters that they used for spraying the cream onto deserts.

 

[Freofalcon]

I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

Weed can certainly make anyone paranoid, particularly if you only smoke it rarely and haven't smoked like a chimney in years gone by.
Lots of people peak over cops when they are stoned.
This is silly- cops dont care if you're stoned.

Edit* By the way, never ever ever ever eat it!
Imagine the most smashed you have ever been, times it by ten then consider that the just the starting point on a thirty six hour ride where you keep getting more and more stoned.

You can never be too stoned.