This could be speeeciiiaaaaal.
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dwayne ****head russel
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This could be speeeciiiaaaaal.
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oh come on, he was obviously joking about that. surely that's obvious enough.
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ahhhh no he wasn't, if you listen to enough of Dwayne
".............the second mouse get's the cheese"
Thankyou Sensei
Thankyou Sensei
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Dwayne Russell decided to become a member of Bigfooty.
He added the site to his bookmarks, and then started posting.
“Shorts it,” he said. “This will be the first post I make in anger!”
He read that the forum started with just a few hundred users, but now had over 100,000 members.
“From little things, BIG THINGS GROW!” he yelled. “Bring out the one hundred thousand, it's party time!”
He gave five-star ratings for the threads the liked.
“OUTSTANDING! MAGNIFICENT! INCREDIBLE! UNBELIEVABLE!” he screamed.
Dwayne Russell created a new thread on the main board.
“This could be the THREAD-STARTER!” he shouted. “It could give the forum a SHOT IN THE ARM!”
He suggested that Nathan Vardy should be a regular in the Cats' best 22.
“Vardy, he is a GEM!” he yelled. “Bring out the 100s and 1000s, it's VARDY TIME!”
He noticed that another member had been red carded.
“The moderators delivered the KILL SHOT!” he shouted. “They gave him some SHOE!”
In another thread, someone wondered whether Brendan Fevola could make a comeback at Carlton.
“IN YOUR DREAMS!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “Not in my WILDEST DREAMS could I see that happening!”
He then went to the Lists board, where he found a thread for the top 50 players of 2011, in the vein of the lists by Mike Sheahan.
“IS THAT 50?” he shouted. “YOU BET IT IS!”
Dwayne Russell read some of Bay 13, and found that it wasn't for the oversensitive.
“Bay 13, it's where ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD!” he screamed.
He was particularly impressed by a thread about Neil Craig.
“SENSATIONAL! That's one of the TROLLS OF THE YEAR!” he yelled.
He wasn't impressed by a thread paying out Nick Riewoldt for shedding tears onfield.
“Collarbone injuries are HORRENDOUS!” he shouted. “They're enough to make a GROWN MAN CRY!”
He was shocked to find out that some of the people trolling in Bay 13 were actually over 30.
“Ohhh NO WAY! ACT YOUR AGE!” he screamed.
He added the site to his bookmarks, and then started posting.
“Shorts it,” he said. “This will be the first post I make in anger!”
He read that the forum started with just a few hundred users, but now had over 100,000 members.
“From little things, BIG THINGS GROW!” he yelled. “Bring out the one hundred thousand, it's party time!”
He gave five-star ratings for the threads the liked.
“OUTSTANDING! MAGNIFICENT! INCREDIBLE! UNBELIEVABLE!” he screamed.
Dwayne Russell created a new thread on the main board.
“This could be the THREAD-STARTER!” he shouted. “It could give the forum a SHOT IN THE ARM!”
He suggested that Nathan Vardy should be a regular in the Cats' best 22.
“Vardy, he is a GEM!” he yelled. “Bring out the 100s and 1000s, it's VARDY TIME!”
He noticed that another member had been red carded.
“The moderators delivered the KILL SHOT!” he shouted. “They gave him some SHOE!”
In another thread, someone wondered whether Brendan Fevola could make a comeback at Carlton.
“IN YOUR DREAMS!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “Not in my WILDEST DREAMS could I see that happening!”
He then went to the Lists board, where he found a thread for the top 50 players of 2011, in the vein of the lists by Mike Sheahan.
“IS THAT 50?” he shouted. “YOU BET IT IS!”
Dwayne Russell read some of Bay 13, and found that it wasn't for the oversensitive.
“Bay 13, it's where ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD!” he screamed.
He was particularly impressed by a thread about Neil Craig.
“SENSATIONAL! That's one of the TROLLS OF THE YEAR!” he yelled.
He wasn't impressed by a thread paying out Nick Riewoldt for shedding tears onfield.
“Collarbone injuries are HORRENDOUS!” he shouted. “They're enough to make a GROWN MAN CRY!”
He was shocked to find out that some of the people trolling in Bay 13 were actually over 30.
“Ohhh NO WAY! ACT YOUR AGE!” he screamed.
Flawed Genius
Erroneous! Erroneous on both counts!
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- #910
The commentators were out on a weekend hunting trip in the snow, after receiving a tip-off that a Yeti was in the area.
Bruce McAvaney, was, as usual, his observant self.
"Gee, you just love a good winter, don't you? The snow is just magniiiificent, isn't it? Days like these are speeeecial, aren't they?"
Dwayne Russell agreed. "SPECTACULAR!" he whisper-yelled, as so not to alert the beast of their presence.
"Yeah, great call Dwayne-o", breathed Danny Frawley from his position exactly 4cm from the back of Russell's neck.
Andy Maher, having never been hunting before, was slightly aloof in his positioning as the commentators moved through the forest. He tripped over a protruding tree branch, startling the birds into flight. "OHH CHRIST! Sorry, you blokes. I'm so sorry. Crap, I'm sorry."
Stephen Quartermain, an experienced hunter, rolled his eyes. "That is UNFORGIVABLE! He should never be allowed to hunt again! That is a DISGRACE! Get out of my sight! I will not hunt with you again. Go on, nick off! You've just thrown snow all over me! That is unacceptable behaviour!"
Robert Walls concurred. "That is ridiculous! He is just so stupid the way he hunts at times. How many times does he lose his bearings and hurt this party?"
Dwayne Russell noticed movement in the trees ahead.
"IS THAT YETI?" he whispered. "YOU BET IT IS!"
Brian Taylor raised his gun and fired, missing by a mile.
"Oh boy, wowee! Oh boy, Brian. That is embarrassing!"
"HORRENDOUS!" whispered Dwayne gleefully.
Robert Walls immediately sympathised, handing Taylor a knife.
"Maybe you can use this for a little while, just to get yourself into some form, BT."
Taylor was instantly cheered up.
"FYFE THE KNIFE! WOWEE! OH BOY!"
Bruce McAvaney brought everyone back to task quickly. "You just get the feeling that if we started moving now, we'd be right back into this, don't you? This yeti can't run forever, can he? I mean, he's certainly not Juddy, is he?"
"THAT'S A GEM!" whispered Dwayne. "MAJESTIC!"
A short while later, the commentators stumbled across the yeti's lair.
Dwayne positioned himself, ready to strike. The yeti eventually wandered out.
"RUSSELL.. FROM POINT BLANK RANGE.." Dwayne mumbled to himself, firing.
The yeti tumbled to the ground. "DELIVERS THE KILL SHOT!" screamed Dwayne, freed from his decibel prison. "SENSATIONAL!"
"Yeah, really good shot, Dwayne," Danny Frawley lisped, unzipping his pants.
Russell, eager to let off some steam, waxed lyrical about his conquering of the beast.
"THAT IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS! BRILLIANT! CRAZY GOOD! Now that the yeti is dead, BRING OUT THE 100s AND 1000s, IT'S PARTY TIME!"
Andy Maher, completely missing the point of the hunting exercise, was worried.
"How does this make you feel? Do you feel sad about what we've just done? What are your thoughts on making duck hunting illegal? Do you think there should be Supercoach points for hunting? OW, ****!" he yelled, as Taylor stabbed him.
"FYFE THE KNIFE!" bellowed Taylor. "WOWEE! OH BOY!"
"You just get the feeling that if we got him to an ambulance now, he might survive, don't you?" fussed Bruce McAvaney. "He's not supposed to be bleeding, is he? That looks bad, doesn't it?"
Dwayne opened the first aid kit, searching for the adrenaline syringe.
"THIS COULD BE THE SHOT IN THE ARM", he roared, finding it. "RUSSELL FROM 60!"
He leapt over Robert Walls, who was feasting hungrily on the yeti's flesh, and thrust the adrenaline needle into Maher's chest.
"NO WAY! That is a GODSEND!"
Maher came rushing back to life.
"I just desperately wanted to be in the same hunting party as you blokes, blokes," he sobbed.
The hunting party, some bandaged, some bruised, but all satisfied and tired, headed back to camp. A lone figure, crouched over the yeti, remained.
"The days of the Abomination are over!" exclaimed Tim Lane, only for the yeti to swipe his head clean off with its dying blow.
Bruce McAvaney, was, as usual, his observant self.
"Gee, you just love a good winter, don't you? The snow is just magniiiificent, isn't it? Days like these are speeeecial, aren't they?"
Dwayne Russell agreed. "SPECTACULAR!" he whisper-yelled, as so not to alert the beast of their presence.
"Yeah, great call Dwayne-o", breathed Danny Frawley from his position exactly 4cm from the back of Russell's neck.
Andy Maher, having never been hunting before, was slightly aloof in his positioning as the commentators moved through the forest. He tripped over a protruding tree branch, startling the birds into flight. "OHH CHRIST! Sorry, you blokes. I'm so sorry. Crap, I'm sorry."
Stephen Quartermain, an experienced hunter, rolled his eyes. "That is UNFORGIVABLE! He should never be allowed to hunt again! That is a DISGRACE! Get out of my sight! I will not hunt with you again. Go on, nick off! You've just thrown snow all over me! That is unacceptable behaviour!"
Robert Walls concurred. "That is ridiculous! He is just so stupid the way he hunts at times. How many times does he lose his bearings and hurt this party?"
Dwayne Russell noticed movement in the trees ahead.
"IS THAT YETI?" he whispered. "YOU BET IT IS!"
Brian Taylor raised his gun and fired, missing by a mile.
"Oh boy, wowee! Oh boy, Brian. That is embarrassing!"
"HORRENDOUS!" whispered Dwayne gleefully.
Robert Walls immediately sympathised, handing Taylor a knife.
"Maybe you can use this for a little while, just to get yourself into some form, BT."
Taylor was instantly cheered up.
"FYFE THE KNIFE! WOWEE! OH BOY!"
Bruce McAvaney brought everyone back to task quickly. "You just get the feeling that if we started moving now, we'd be right back into this, don't you? This yeti can't run forever, can he? I mean, he's certainly not Juddy, is he?"
"THAT'S A GEM!" whispered Dwayne. "MAJESTIC!"
A short while later, the commentators stumbled across the yeti's lair.
Dwayne positioned himself, ready to strike. The yeti eventually wandered out.
"RUSSELL.. FROM POINT BLANK RANGE.." Dwayne mumbled to himself, firing.
The yeti tumbled to the ground. "DELIVERS THE KILL SHOT!" screamed Dwayne, freed from his decibel prison. "SENSATIONAL!"
"Yeah, really good shot, Dwayne," Danny Frawley lisped, unzipping his pants.
Russell, eager to let off some steam, waxed lyrical about his conquering of the beast.
"THAT IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS! BRILLIANT! CRAZY GOOD! Now that the yeti is dead, BRING OUT THE 100s AND 1000s, IT'S PARTY TIME!"
Andy Maher, completely missing the point of the hunting exercise, was worried.
"How does this make you feel? Do you feel sad about what we've just done? What are your thoughts on making duck hunting illegal? Do you think there should be Supercoach points for hunting? OW, ****!" he yelled, as Taylor stabbed him.
"FYFE THE KNIFE!" bellowed Taylor. "WOWEE! OH BOY!"
"You just get the feeling that if we got him to an ambulance now, he might survive, don't you?" fussed Bruce McAvaney. "He's not supposed to be bleeding, is he? That looks bad, doesn't it?"
Dwayne opened the first aid kit, searching for the adrenaline syringe.
"THIS COULD BE THE SHOT IN THE ARM", he roared, finding it. "RUSSELL FROM 60!"
He leapt over Robert Walls, who was feasting hungrily on the yeti's flesh, and thrust the adrenaline needle into Maher's chest.
"NO WAY! That is a GODSEND!"
Maher came rushing back to life.
"I just desperately wanted to be in the same hunting party as you blokes, blokes," he sobbed.
The hunting party, some bandaged, some bruised, but all satisfied and tired, headed back to camp. A lone figure, crouched over the yeti, remained.
"The days of the Abomination are over!" exclaimed Tim Lane, only for the yeti to swipe his head clean off with its dying blow.
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^ Gold! 
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Deeeerrrwayne came in 4th in the worst commentator stakes in the Herald Sun survey.
Walls was the clear winner.
I think they should divide that category next season into best/worst caller and best/worst special comments. I think this would give a far more true indication of what a terrible caller Deeerrrrwayne is.
Walls was the clear winner.
I think they should divide that category next season into best/worst caller and best/worst special comments. I think this would give a far more true indication of what a terrible caller Deeerrrrwayne is.
Hahahaha, classic! Nicely done and thanks for reminding me of that moment of gold! Geez Quartermain is a little bitch.
[youtube]IpQ444I2NhY[/youtube]
Get of the box! Will do. Will do.
Thrawn
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"Bucket."
*Laughs from the set crew/producers*
Haha, that bit never gets old.
*Laughs from the set crew/producers*
Haha, that bit never gets old.
Rustin Cohle
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Who's the guy telling Quarters to shut up?
Thrawn
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That'd be Dunstall.
Dwayne is doing today's Geelong and Melbourne match.
Curious to see whether he'll use "firestarter" at any point, given the current margin...
Curious to see whether he'll use "firestarter" at any point, given the current margin...
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It's the only reason I'm still watching. Thought he was ready to drop it just now, but Melbourne missed...
He's a guarantee to bring out the 'hundreds and thousands' line though.
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Really? I thought it was someone else. Sounded a bit like Liam Pickering.
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Russell is like Martin Tyler next to Tony Shaw. Still going with 'Trengrove' (how is that acceptable from a professional commentator??!!), J-Pod is 'Podliadsly'...I thought Dunstall was going to make it rain fried rice in the commentary box when he was saying Kelly had made a dangerous tackle. Now, with Chapman losing the plot for five minutes and Shaw saying three times "I'm super-serious, Chris Scott needs to get him off" he praises it as a "great move" when Chapman was probably due for a rotation anyway and it was only by the grace of God that he didn't commit a homicide during the time he was left out there.
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Dwayne with a standard premature injury call. Selwood on the ground, obviously just had the stuffing knocked out of him:
"HORRENDOUS news for Cats fans!!!!!"
Possibly taking the piss...nah...
"HORRENDOUS news for Cats fans!!!!!"
Possibly taking the piss...nah...
Riders of Rohan
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Dwayne - Dunstall - Shaw
This is "HORRENDOUS"
Worst team ever?
This is "HORRENDOUS"
Worst team ever?
smasha
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Thank god Richmond for once wasn't on the receiving end.
Dwaayne would've been doing handstands if it was Richmond instead of Melbourne today.
Just so much Richmond hate in the media it's unbelievable.
Dwaayne would've been doing handstands if it was Richmond instead of Melbourne today.
Just so much Richmond hate in the media it's unbelievable.
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