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dwayne ****head russel

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Someone needs to "accidentally" karate chop this mofo in the throat.

But make sure they "accidentally" get the spot that injures the vocal chords
 
I just wanna say one thing in defence of Dwayne. I actually don't mind when Dwayne says "from the paint". As someone who linemarks sports grounds as part of their job, it frustrates the shit out of me when I hear commentators refer to it as "chalk". Tim Lane is the worst culprit, followed closely by Andy Maher. No one uses chalk to mark lines anymore, even amatuer footy ovals. At least Dwayne has his facts straight on this one.

Ps. I still hate everything else about Dwayne.
 

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Aside from all the ridiculous catch phrases, why does Dwayne insist on calling an entire game like it's the men's 100m Olympic final?

Imagine if Dwayne was actually commentating a game where something truly "AMAZING!!!!!" occurred? I'd hate to think what would have happened if he'd been behind the mic when Leo Barry took that GF mark... He probably would've spontaneously combusted (THAT'LL BE THE FIRESTARTER!!!!!!!!).

Please don't mention Dwayne and Grand Final ever again *shudder*
 
Dwayne and Grand Final.

:eek: you'll give them ideas!! :thumbsd:

Picture this: a player marks on 50m with 30 seconds to go, their team is 3 points down. Dwayne is commentating. An epic grand final moment, ruined forever. "Gives it some shoe. FROM THE PAINT! NEVER IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!"
 
I was at the game today but heard the "that could be the firestarter" chestnut during the news highlights.

It's actually got to the point whereby I reckon Dwayne is trolling us all.
 
OMFG did he actually say that? :eek:

As unbelievable as it may seem, he really did say "thinks about the short".

Whilst most of us would see this new development as "horrendous!", I fear that Dwayne will see it as "amazing!", making it inevitable that it will rear it's ugly head again.
 
As unbelievable as it may seem, he really did say "thinks about the short".

Whilst most of us would see this new development as "horrendous!", I fear that Dwayne will see it as "amazing!", making it inevitable that it will rear it's ugly head again.

and even if it does he will "CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS"
 
I think we're officially at the stage where Russell provides more entertainment than anything going on in the game itself.

I think I'll draw up some bingo sheets for next week.
 
This thread is CRAZY GOOD!!!

Seriously though, this thread is gold, and it's single handedly made me somewhat enjoy the worst commentator of all time. Fair effort that. Because lets face it, if you didn't try and laugh at how bad he is, you'd do yourself in.
 

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Brown first goal.
"Hows that for a start"
 

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...spear it to Tippett,

Crap bout the Motlop brothers,

Crap about how old Callinan is,

Crap about how Dangerfield is a local boy

Game isn't 5 minutes old yet.
 
Varcoe kicks an early one

"Thats a training drill"
 
Wanking on about the changes.

"Hawkins/Brown/Motlop/Wojcinski - another one of the ins for Geelong"

"That's a training drill."

Is it just me or does he sound less enthusiastic than normal?
 
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