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dwayne ****head russel

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Anyone else notice at any opportunity he gets, when either of the Swallow brothers are tackled he comes up with:

"THE TACKLER SWALLOW'S HIM!" :D

I bet he says that with a smirk, as if he thinks he is some kind of wordsmith. Can't believe the poop out of his mouth!

Another I noticed on the weekend during the Kangas/Dogs game was when Hooper gained possession off the turf, with an added pause for emphasis:

"Hooper... SCOOPS it up!"

Dwayne, I must ask, are these straight out of the copybook? :confused:
 
The guys walk past a homeless bloke begging on the corner...

Dwayne decides to give him 20c...

"Russooowl, little giiiive" says Bruce

"Well if I didn't I'd just make it someone else's problem, and that'd be horrendous! That 20c could be the firestarter, which would be amazing!" said Dwayne.

"Awww, no doubt" said Shawy

Andy Maher bends down to the guy and asks "You were a pretty successful bloke at one stage, how do you end up being down and out like this? What does Dwayne's 20c mean to you?"

Sandy Roberts wanders by and says "Here, have my hat".

Just then Andy realises that the guys have kept walking....

"Hey, you blokes, wait for me, you blokes!!"
 
kerrazy said:
it would be awesome if someone recorded the actual voices of dwayne from the game and make a story out of it like Those and put it on youtube. :D
Click to expand...

That work really well with a little animation to go with it.

Tairy Greene said:
Another great job Those, but I lost it at this;
Click to expand...

Yep, lost my shit at the Robert Walls comment too. :thumbsu:
 

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Andy Maher barged in, and he had big news. “Oi, you blokes! The 5-cent coin has officially been dumped from circulation. From now on, all cash transactions will be rounded to the nearest 10 cents.”

Andy Maher asked, “How do you feel about this?”
“IS THAT 50?” screamed Dwayne Russell.
“No, it's the 5-cent coin, Dwayne, not the 50-cent,” replied Andy Maher. “So how do you feel about it?”
“SENSATIONAL!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “That's one of the STORIES OF THE YEAR!”
“I don't believe it,” said Anthony Hudson.
So Andy Maher showed him the story, but Anthony Hudson was still incredulous. “I see it, but I don't believe it!”
Sam Newman preferred to keep the 5-cent coin, but didn't feel strongly about it. “Oh well,” he mumbled.

Andy Maher asked Luke Darcy and Stephen Quartermain, “Oi, you blokes. What are your feelings on this?”
“I agree with Dwayne,” replied Luke Darcy. “I love the way the Reserve Bank has gone about it. This is certainly the biggest news story in the world this year.”
Stephen Quartermain was skeptical, “The biggest news story in the world this year?!”
Shaken, Luke Darcy backtracked. “Okay, perhaps not the biggest in the world, but it's the biggest news story in Australia this year.”
“I still don't think it's the biggest of the year,” said Stephen Quartermain.
“Well, it's still one of the biggest stories of the week,” said Luke Darcy.

Andy Maher then turned to the others. “So, no more 5-cent coins. How does that make you feel?”
“The days of the denomination are over!” declared Tim Lane.
“Briyyyannt!” said Bruce McAvaney. “Now I'll have fewer cooiiinnss... weighing down my waalleeet...”
Danny Frawley agreed. “I won't miss seeing the back of them. 5 cents isn't worth less than much these days.”

Robert Walls was not impressed. “This is a highly disappointing decision. The 5-cent coin still has significant value. Removing it will only result in retailers raising their prices to the nearest 10 cents. I'm just so disappointed by this.”
Malcolm Blight didn't agree. "I couldn't give a rat's tossbag whether you think they're worth anything or whether anyone thinks that prices will rise,” he ranted. “I'm happy with this decision. So removing 5-cent coins, which themselves cause a need for rounding, will result in consumers being ripped off? Come on, that's a wank!"
 
Can anyone mix Dwaynes commentary "highlights" over the Prodigy song Firestarter?
 
Those said:
Andy Maher barged in, and he had big news. “Oi, you blokes! The 5-cent coin has officially been dumped from circulation. From now on, all cash transactions will be rounded to the nearest 10 cents.”

Andy Maher asked, “How do you feel about this?”
“IS THAT 50?” screamed Dwayne Russell.
“No, it's the 5-cent coin, Dwayne, not the 50-cent,” replied Andy Maher. “So how do you feel about it?”
“SENSATIONAL!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “That's one of the STORIES OF THE YEAR!”
“I don't believe it,” said Anthony Hudson.
So Andy Maher showed him the story, but Anthony Hudson was still incredulous. “I see it, but I don't believe it!”
Sam Newman preferred to keep the 5-cent coin, but didn't feel strongly about it. “Oh well,” he mumbled.

Andy Maher asked Luke Darcy and Stephen Quartermain, “Oi, you blokes. What are your feelings on this?”
“I agree with Dwayne,” replied Luke Darcy. “I love the way the Reserve Bank has gone about it. This is certainly the biggest news story in the world this year.”
Stephen Quartermain was skeptical, “The biggest news story in the world this year?!”
Shaken, Luke Darcy backtracked. “Okay, perhaps not the biggest in the world, but it's the biggest news story in Australia this year.”
“I still don't think it's the biggest of the year,” said Stephen Quartermain.
“Well, it's still one of the biggest stories of the week,” said Luke Darcy.

Andy Maher then turned to the others. “So, no more 5-cent coins. How does that make you feel?”
“The days of the denomination are over!” declared Tim Lane.
“Briyyyannt!” said Bruce McAvaney. “Now I'll have fewer cooiiinnss... weighing down my waalleeet...”
Danny Frawley agreed. “I won't miss seeing the back of them. 5 cents isn't worth less than much these days.”

Robert Walls was not impressed. “This is a highly disappointing decision. The 5-cent coin still has significant value. Removing it will only result in retailers raising their prices to the nearest 10 cents. I'm just so disappointed by this.”
Malcolm Blight didn't agree. "I couldn't give a rat's tossbag whether you think they're worth anything or whether anyone thinks that prices will rise,” he ranted. “I'm happy with this decision. So removing 5-cent coins, which themselves cause a need for rounding, will result in consumers being ripped off? Come on, that's a wank!"
Click to expand...

Then KB pipes up

"I don't really care, as long as you can still dance on a dollar."

"That's pretty disappointing Lynchy" said Danny Frawley.

"The Mint needed to at least halve the output there, you just can't afford to let any 5c coins get behind the cushion in the modern economy, it just hurts your bank balance."

"Awww, no doubt" said Shawy and Lynchy in unison..........
 
Challenge: incorporate Tony Shaw's 'did he what' / 'has he what'

Go.
 
I do appreciate that the posters have their hands cut out for them recreating these all-too-lifelike epics, but there's not nearly enough Jakovich.
 

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KeithBlight said:
Hey, here's a tester. What about this for a comedy sketch?

Two guys are walking down the street. One is a bit aggo with someone who's just out of camera shot. He starts saying, "Are you tryin' to be funny, mate?".
His friend tries to drag him away, saying, "Look mate, let it go. He didn't mean anything by it." But the aggro guy keeps on with the, "You tryin' to be funny?" And walks towards the person.

The camera follows as he confronts a rather bemused clown.
Click to expand...


There's a Far Side comic just goes like that.

There's a clown in a gun store, with a thought bubble saying "laugh at me will they.."
 
The commentators were watching Stage 16 of the Tour de France, in preparation for the weekend's football action.

As Andy Schleck attacked, a sharp intake of breath was heard from the boundary rider in Glen Jakovich, actually travelling inside the race referee's car. "Boys, ahh, tshh.. Boys, Andy Schleck's just lifted his workrate here, boys. Might, ahh. Put a bit of a breakaway between him and his self.. between the pelot.. pleto.. peloton here, boys."
Dwayne Russell, excited by the action, screamed "Can he break away from the peloton? YOU BET HE CAN! That could be the FIRESTARTER! SPECTACULAR!" Luke Darcy, everpresent behind the microphone, added "I just love the way he goes about it."

Schleck's attack left the main contenders floundering in the peloton. Bruce McAvaney, noticing this, chimed in: "You just get the feeling that if they don't start chasing, this could be a pivotal attack by Schleck, don't you? He's a special rider, isn't he? Geez you'd love him in the trenches for your side, wouldn't you?"

Worried by the efforts of his favourite rider, Robert Walls lamented the efforts of Alberto Contador. "Maybe they should give him a run in one of the team cars, just to get him into some form. Maybe even let his team-mates run some interference for him, just to get him into the race." As this happened, Stephen Quartermain noticed the collaboration between Samuel Sanchez & Alberto Contador, countrymen yet on different teams. "That is UNFORGIVABLE! They should never be allowed to race again! That is a disgrace!"

Andy Maher noticed the efforts of Evans & Voeckler, simply cruising. Before he could comment, Dwayne leapt in with "They're just SPINNING THEIR WHEELS! HORRENDOUS!"
Given an opportunity, Maher suggested "Evans and Voeckler have got a lot of work to do here, you blokes." Tony Shaw snorted: "Gohh, do they what?!"
 

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Flawed Genius said:
The commentators were watching Stage 16 of the Tour de France, in preparation for the weekend's football action.

As Andy Schleck attacked, a sharp intake of breath was heard from the boundary rider in Glen Jakovich, actually travelling inside the race referee's car. "Boys, ahh, tshh.. Boys, Andy Schleck's just lifted his workrate here, boys. Might, ahh. Put a bit of a breakaway between him and his self.. between the pelot.. pleto.. peloton here, boys."
Dwayne Russell, excited by the action, screamed "Can he break away from the peloton? YOU BET HE CAN! That could be the FIRESTARTER! SPECTACULAR!" Luke Darcy, everpresent behind the microphone, added "I just love the way he goes about it."

Schleck's attack left the main contenders floundering in the peloton. Bruce McAvaney, noticing this, chimed in: "You just get the feeling that if they don't start chasing, this could be a pivotal attack by Schleck, don't you? He's a special rider, isn't he? Geez you'd love him in the trenches for your side, wouldn't you?"

Worried by the efforts of his favourite rider, Robert Walls lamented the efforts of Alberto Contador. "Maybe they should give him a run in one of the team cars, just to get him into some form. Maybe even let his team-mates run some interference for him, just to get him into the race." As this happened, Stephen Quartermain noticed the collaboration between Samuel Sanchez & Alberto Contador, countrymen yet on different teams. "That is UNFORGIVABLE! They should never be allowed to race again! That is a disgrace!"

Andy Maher noticed the efforts of Evans & Voeckler, simply cruising. Before he could comment, Dwayne leapt in with "They're just SPINNING THEIR WHEELS! HORRENDOUS!"
Given an opportunity, Maher suggested "Evans and Voeckler have got a lot of work to do here, you blokes." Tony Shaw snorted: "Gohh, do they what?!"
Click to expand...
That is MAGNIFICENT!! Top work!! :D
 
lewigie said:
There's a Far Side comic just goes like that.

There's a clown in a gun store, with a thought bubble saying "laugh at me will they.."
Click to expand...

Love it! Gary Larson IS a comic genius.

Back to Dwayne Russell, did anyone hear Gerard Whateley trying to Dwayne-up his commentary last week?

When Essendon kicked their firsty goal against Adelaide, Whateley said, "That could be the conflagration initiator!"
 
I'm really looking forward to the weekend now just to hear his commentary. I'll even have to visit my parents to make use of their foxtel. Thanks Dwayne, bringing families together :thumbsu:
 
Flawed Genius said:
The commentators were watching Stage 16 of the Tour de France, in preparation for the weekend's football action.

As Andy Schleck attacked, a sharp intake of breath was heard from the boundary rider in Glen Jakovich, actually travelling inside the race referee's car. "Boys, ahh, tshh.. Boys, Andy Schleck's just lifted his workrate here, boys. Might, ahh. Put a bit of a breakaway between him and his self.. between the pelot.. pleto.. peloton here, boys."
Dwayne Russell, excited by the action, screamed "Can he break away from the peloton? YOU BET HE CAN! That could be the FIRESTARTER! SPECTACULAR!" Luke Darcy, everpresent behind the microphone, added "I just love the way he goes about it."

Schleck's attack left the main contenders floundering in the peloton. Bruce McAvaney, noticing this, chimed in: "You just get the feeling that if they don't start chasing, this could be a pivotal attack by Schleck, don't you? He's a special rider, isn't he? Geez you'd love him in the trenches for your side, wouldn't you?"

Worried by the efforts of his favourite rider, Robert Walls lamented the efforts of Alberto Contador. "Maybe they should give him a run in one of the team cars, just to get him into some form. Maybe even let his team-mates run some interference for him, just to get him into the race." As this happened, Stephen Quartermain noticed the collaboration between Samuel Sanchez & Alberto Contador, countrymen yet on different teams. "That is UNFORGIVABLE! They should never be allowed to race again! That is a disgrace!"

Andy Maher noticed the efforts of Evans & Voeckler, simply cruising. Before he could comment, Dwayne leapt in with "They're just SPINNING THEIR WHEELS! HORRENDOUS!"
Given an opportunity, Maher suggested "Evans and Voeckler have got a lot of work to do here, you blokes." Tony Shaw snorted: "Gohh, do they what?!"
Click to expand...


Cool story bro? You bet it is!
 
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