dwayne ****head russel

[Buzzasto DaSilva]

Firing up for some more "Yeah great call Dwayne" tomorrow from Danny Frawley!

 

[Flawed Genius]

Firing up for some more "Yeah great call Dwayne" tomorrow from Danny Frawley!

If anyone writes another fan-fiction type thing, it surely has to include this line.

"Yeah, great call, Dwayne!", exhaled Danny Frawley as he wiped the last droplets of man from his chin and got to his feet. "They're just really *hic* showing something now."

 

[DTShowtime]

I think he said that 5 million people had come to the GC to follow Collingwood.

 

[Drummond]

New Dwayne drinking game.

Take a drink every time he says, 'can get and go'.

It's HORRENDOUS!

 

[EBUS]

I think he said that 5 million people had come to the GC to follow Collingwood.

Saw that on the fifth quarter, what a ****ing idiot.

 

[Marklar_33]

New Dwayne drinking game.

Take a drink every time he says, 'can get and go'.

It's HORRENDOUS!

People would die playing that!

The Sunday Inquisition on ABC bagged the commentary team cheering on the Suns to win the last quarter...

It's only early days, but he's already pulled one 'straight from the copybook' in today's game!

 

[SpecialComments]

Just got the "Foley goes where angels fear to tread", how flipping typical Dwayne you twat

 

[Ross]

Dwayne had the stretcher ready to go for Pods in that quarter.

Sure enough, he stands up seconds later and jogs off the ground unassisted.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

What's the bet that if Richmond kick the first goal of the second half, Dwayne Pipe will come out with "THAT COULD BE THE FIRESTARTER!"

 

[EBUS]

When Deledio took a juggling mark - "Thats the mark of the year"

He really needs to think before he speaks...

 

[premiers06]

Anyone see him claim deledio grabbed mark of the year

 

[SpecialComments]

Anyone see him claim deledio grabbed mark of the year

"That's a mark... That's a mark... That's Mark of the year!" - says Dwyane

Obviously the frucking doofus Dwayne didn't see Walker's less than 24hrs beforehand. He is an absolute disgrace, how do we get him off our TV screens?

 

[Those]

The commentators were checking their Dreamteam scores from the round just completed.

Bruce McAvaney's choice of Cyril Rioli had paid off with a score of 90.
“He's a delicious young player, isn't he?” he said. “I bought him for just $267,000, didn't I? It's almost like I got him on speeeciaallll...”
But he still lost his league match, leaving him one win and huge percentage adrift of the top 8.
“You just get the feeling that if I win my next match by 700 points, I'd be right back in this,” he mused.
“I've never lost three consecutive matches after Round 8 with over 10 players scoring 100+ with a total team value of over $9,500,000.”

Stephen Quartermain won his league match thanks to strong scores from Leigh Montagna (117) and Barry Hall (85).
“Leigh and Barry you stars!” he yelled. “38 possies between them.”
Then he noticed that the inconsistent Daniel Giansiracusa had posted a score of just 57, after 100 the week before.
“That is a disgrace,” he grumbled. “I am never selecting Gia again. That is unforgivable!”
(It was the fourth consecutive year that he selected Gia, and the same story each time.)
Stephen Quartermain also noticed that two late changes had given him zeroes.
“Get out of my team!” he yelled, rashly trading out Dustin Fletcher and Steve Johnson on a Sunday night. “I will not work with you! Get out of my team right now! Go on, nick off! You've just thrown a bunch of donuts all over me. Nick off! Get out, that is unacceptable behaviour!”
Scott Cummings suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and asked, “Did someone mention donuts?”

Robert Walls wanted some advice for his team.
“My midfield consists of Judd, Murphy, Simpson, Robinson, Walker and Ellard, with Curnow, Joseph and Twomey on the bench,” he said.
“In defence, I've got Gibbs, Scotland, Carrazzo, Russell, Duigan, Laidler and Armfield, with White, Tuohy and Watson on the bench."
“Have you thought of upgrading to Bret Thornton?” asked Tim Lane.
“No, I traded out Bret Thornton, because he is just so stupid in the way that he can play this game at times!” ranted Robert Walls. “It is just ridiculous! How many times does he lose his cool and hurt my side!”
Then he noticed that Kurt Tippett only scored 52 in his forward line, and was outscored by his forward emergency.
“That's just so disappointing from the young man,” he said. “Maybe I should throw him into the rucks, just to find some form, you know, get him into the game.”

Brian Taylor saw that he had drawn his league match. “Oh boy wowee!” he exclaimed.
Sandy Roberts grumbled, “Only 52 from Graham Johndick. Oh my hat, I'm sorry, I meant Graham Johncock. I'm truly sorry.”
Malcolm Blight's strategy was to leave many trades until late, with a sole focus on winning his leagues.
Anthony Hudson questioned him, but Malcolm Blight wouldn't have a bar of any criticism.
"I couldn't give a rat's tossbag whether you think I can play or whether anyone thinks I can play Dreamteam,” ranted Malcolm Blight. “I'm happy with what I did. So it was a total fluke that my team came from nowhere to reach last year's grand final? Come on, that's a wank!"

Andy Maher was grumpy. “It's a shame that leagues only allow 16 teams. I wanted to be in the same league as you blokes.”
“You're batting out of your league, pal,” said umpire Stuart Wenn. “You're batting so far out of your league.”
Andy Maher then asked Harry O'Brien, “How do you feel about Dreamteam? Do you play it?”
“No, I'm not really into it,” said Harry O'Brien.
“Do the players keep track of their Dreamteam scores, eg. do you keep checking how well you're scoring?” asked Andy Maher.
“He just said he doesn't play Dreamteam!” said Dave Hughes. “Were you even listening?”

Dwayne Russell won his league match by 90 points. “I've delivered the KILL SHOT!” he screamed. “IN YOUR DREAMTEAMS!”
It gave him an slim chance of reaching the top 8. “That could be the FIRE-STARTER!” he yelled. “It's given my season a SHOT IN THE ARM!”
Shane Savage had accumulated the year's largest price rise. “SENSATIONAL!” he shouted. “From little things, BIG THINGS GROW!”
Stefan Martin scored 101 in defence. “Ohhh NO WAY! That's a GEM!” he shouted. “Stefan Martin, he is a GODSEND!”
But Brodie Smith failed to go past the half-ton. “IS THAT 50?” he screamed. “YOU BET IT IS! HORRENDOUS!”
Then he noticed that Leigh Brown scored 88. “Brown, Brown... GOLDEN BROWN!” he screamed. “MAJESTIC!”
The 19-year-old Nathan Fyfe scored 119 in the forward line. “Oh ACT YOUR AGE!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “That's CRAZY GOOD!”
His entire midfield scored over 100 points. “That is AS GOOD AS IT GETS!” he yelled. “Bring out the 100s and 120s, IT'S PARTY TIME!”

(I didn't upload the Youtube videos)

 

[Drummond]

Blight and Russell.

 

[tap_my_scott]

cant believe this w***er has a job in commentary

 

[Benno_900]

“Get out of my team!” he yelled, rashly trading out Dustin Fletcher and Steve Johnson on a Sunday night. “I will not work with you! Get out of my team right now! Go on, nick off! You've just thrown a bunch of donuts all over me. Nick off! Get out, that is unacceptable behaviour!”

 

[Tairy Greene]

Stephen Quartermain won his league match thanks to strong scores from Leigh Montagna (117) and Barry Hall (85).
“Leigh and Barry you stars!” he yelled.

Oh man, that is gold.

 

[Buzzasto DaSilva]

That is unbelievable Those. "Edge of your seat sorta stuff"

 

[Strawbs]

A big congrats to Dwayno on his 60th page in this thread. Think that tells us something. So frustrating to listen to him today. He's either indulging in exaggeration (eg: Mackie dobs one around the body as any 10 year old would do a thousand times at the local park but Dwayno is gobsmacked) or he's just so simplistic (eg: "Vickery marks. He's been down." This, just after a first half in which the ball entered the Richmond 50 m zone a grand total of 14 times). The contrast between Healy's measured, considered commentary and Dwayno's foaming-at-the-mouth hyperbole was stark.

 

[Lord Nicholson]

The contrast between Healy's measured, considered commentary and Dwayno's foaming-at-the-mouth hyperbole was stark.

Healy's loathing for Dwayne is almost palpable, I swear. It's almost as though they're in separate rooms.

 

[Thrawn]

Noticed that Quartermain kept on using "shorts it" during the Essendon v Carlton match.

 

[half_back_flank]

Conca's goal attempt gets touched on the line, "conca doesn't conquer".

 

[JUBJUB]

Suns v Pies game, Deeer-Wayne goes 'in this meeting between these 2 great clubs' it's not as if Gold Coast haven't even played 20 games in their history and the pies are the biggest AFL club or anything

I couldn't believe he said that but then I thought it's DerWayne,so yes he would say something like that

 

[KeithBlight]

This'll be a bit of a slow burn, so I hope you can be a little patient.
To set the scene, a group of footy commentators, players and others are invited to Bruce McAvaney’s place to throw a surprise 50th birthday party for Dwayne Russell. This is Chapter One: WHERE'S WHATELEY?

With nearly all the guests having arrived at his home, Bruce McAvaney notices that Malcolm Blight and Gerard Whateley aren’t among them.
Bruce: Everyone, I know Mowcom’s on his way, but does anyone know if Gerard Whateley’s coming tonight?
Drew Muppett: No, Bruce. Tonight he’s a contestant on Letters And Numbers. I almost forgot, it’s on now!
Bruce quickly turns the TV on, and everyone gathers around.
Dennis Cometti: There's Whateley now!
Anthony Hudson: I see it, but I don’t believe it!
Brian Taylor: Woweee! How’d he get onto a show like that?
Luke Darcy: Easy, BT. He's as smart as anyone going around.
Sam Lane: Shush everyone, he’s picking a consonant.
Gerard Whateley: Could I have an ‘S’, pleasssssse?
And another ‘Sssss’.
... And another ‘Sssssss’.
Bruce: Oooh he loves the letter ‘S’, doesn’t he?
Drew Muppett: Loves the sound of his own voice, I think you’ll find, Bruce.
Dennis Cometti: He’s not alone there, Drew. Just look around this room!
Sam Lane: Shush everyone, he’s unjumbling the anagram.
Gerard Whateley: I’ve got..., ah...seven, eight, nine..., ten. ‘SSSIPOSSSS’. Excsssiting young Ssst.Kilda player.
Bruce: Oh, that’s clevaaaaahhhh, isn’t it?
Dennis Cometti: Actually, no, Bruce. A footballer’s name isn’t a legitimate answer on this program.
Robert Walls: He’d be disappointed with himself there. He’s gotta do better than that.
Bored with Gerard Whateley, and keen to be the perfect host;
Bruce: Look everyone, it’s going to be a while before Dwayne arrives, isn't it? We’d all have to be getting a bit hungry, wouldn’t we?
Dennis Cometti: I’m definitely feeling a little peckish, Bruce. Perhaps we could order some take away.
Bruce: Ahhh, Den, so clever of you to work fooboow terminology into everyday conversation.
Dennis: Not sure "take away" is actually a football term, Bruce. But while we’re on the subject, what is it with South Australians and your dislike for the letter “L”? It’s quite a handy letter. You should think about using it some time.
Bruce: So... what are we thinking? Chiiiiiineeeeese? Iiiiiinnndiiaaaaaan? Mexxxxxxxicaaaaaan?
BT: Pizza! That’ll go down well.
Billy Brownless: And a couple of frothies!
Bruce: Actually pizza’s good. There’s an exxxxxxxcellent pizza shop not far from here. Guiseppi’s. I’ll just look up the number in the phone book.
He grabs a copy of the White Pages A to L, and turns to G.
Bruce: Let’s see now. Gaaaaaaack. Gee that’s a strange one. Gaaaaaasssccch, Gaaaaabelllliiiiiichh. Now there’s a legendary Collingwood name from a few decades ago! Gaaaaaaammmble – oh, the footy names just keep popping up, don’t they?
Dennis: Skip a bit, will you, Bruce.
To everyone’s relief, Anthony Hudson rushes in from the kitchen waving a Guiseppi’s brochure.
Huddo: Bruce, you had a Guiseppi’s brochure here on your fridge.
Dennis: Just in the nick of time!
Bruce: Oh, that’s right. How silly of me. ... And It has the menu on it, Huddo, hasn’t it? Yes, here it is.
What’ve we got...? Ahh, Muuuuussssshhhhhrooooooom, Vegggggggggggggiiiiieeeee, Maaaargheriiiiiiiiiiitaaaa, Capricccciiiioooooooooooossssssssaaaaaa. Hawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaan. Oh, here’s my favourite; House Speeeeeeeecccccccccciiiiiaaaalll! That's delicious!
Huddo: Can we go half Aussie, half Hawaiian?
Bruce (chuckling): Surely this year it has to be All Australian, doesn’t it? (No-one laughed) Sorry, I’m just being a bit humourous there.

TO BE CONTINUED.....

 

[handy point]

Sam Lane: Shush ........ everyone, he’s......... pickinga consonant.

Sam Lane: Shush ........everyone...................he’s

unjumblingthe


anagram.

Slight alteration for S. Lane.