Dwayne ' sh*t commentator ' Russell - PART 2 in 3d

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Baudolino

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 20, 2011
7,113
17,344
AFL Club
Geelong
I've never known a commentator of any sport, let alone just AFL, who manages to pick the wrong adjective for the action they're describing as often as Dwayne Russell does.

Case in point: Jeremy Cameron kicked a fairly regulation snap on the weekend. The way it spun wasn't perfect off the boot but it was a normal snap. The angle wasn't that tight and the degree of difficulty wasn't that extreme.

Russell excitedly referred to it as a "crazy goal".

Wtf.

There was literally nothing "crazy" about it. What the hell are you talking about Dwayne?

I genuinely don't understand how he hasn't got better at picking the right word to match the action on screen. How many years has he been doing this now? It's incredible that he's maintained the same level of incompetence for so long.
 

Dogs Rule

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 27, 2005
11,991
15,874
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray
I've never known a commentator of any sport, let alone just AFL, who manages to pick the wrong adjective for the action they're describing as often as Dwayne Russell does.

Case in point: Jeremy Cameron kicked a fairly regulation snap on the weekend. The way it spun wasn't perfect off the boot but it was a normal snap. The angle wasn't that tight and the degree of difficulty wasn't that extreme.

Russell excitedly referred to it as a "crazy goal".

Wtf.

There was literally nothing "crazy" about it. What the hell are you talking about Dwayne?

I genuinely don't understand how he hasn't got better at picking the right word to match the action on screen. How many years has he been doing this now? It's incredible that he's maintained the same level of incompetence for so long.
He must think it plays well with ‘the kids’ when in reality ‘the kids’ view him in the same way they do an uncle who repeats every Christmas cracker joke over and over and is the only one at the table to think they’re funny.
 

Hoos

Bruncher🏆
Mar 9, 2007
29,868
63,640
Way over yonder across the hill
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Cheddar AFC
I've never known a commentator of any sport, let alone just AFL, who manages to pick the wrong adjective for the action they're describing as often as Dwayne Russell does.

Case in point: Jeremy Cameron kicked a fairly regulation snap on the weekend. The way it spun wasn't perfect off the boot but it was a normal snap. The angle wasn't that tight and the degree of difficulty wasn't that extreme.

Russell excitedly referred to it as a "crazy goal".

Wtf.

There was literally nothing "crazy" about it. What the hell are you talking about Dwayne?

I genuinely don't understand how he hasn't got better at picking the right word to match the action on screen. How many years has he been doing this now? It's incredible that he's maintained the same level of incompetence for so long.
He's been doing that since he started calling games.

I can vividly remember (unfortunately because of der-wayne) a game involving Adelaide during their premiership years. They were handing out a routine 8 goal home thrashing against some rubbish side (not us), when a nice bit of end to end play finished up with an unmarked Andrew Macleod putting through a easy goal from 20-25 metres out, dead in front. Der-wayne's comment was a horrible portent of things to come:

"He's a genuis!"

Really der-wayne? He very well may be, but there's nothing genius about that goal. Every single AFL listed player should kick those with their eyes closed.

Is he secretly taking the piss? Or is he really that stupid and arrogant to continually misread the appropriate description to match the play?

He's a colossal knob.
 
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Koopa

Debutant
Jan 6, 2018
136
479
Rusty Bucket Bay
AFL Club
Essendon
Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.
 
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bedford

Hall of Famer
Oct 29, 2007
37,059
27,621
Lake Oval
AFL Club
Sydney
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SMFC
Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.
Anything s better than JB
 

burge13

Norm Smith Medallist
Suspended
Jan 25, 2019
7,024
15,722
AFL Club
Adelaide
JB is better than Dwayne and significantly better than Dermie.

All should be shot out of a cannon at the sun, but Dermie should be shot first, Dwayne 2nd and JB last
 

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RobbyRoy

Norm Smith Medallist
May 3, 2007
5,400
2,881
Perth
AFL Club
GWS
Other Teams
Victory
Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.
He does keep up with the play better than most, and actually knows almost all of the players, something which can't be said for a lot of commentators these days.
 

Alesana

Club Legend
Oct 13, 2011
2,491
2,909
AFL Club
West Coast
Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.
The only commentator that seems to have a higher heart rate than the players out on the ground. There's just no need for it
 

GroggSquad

Club Legend
Oct 2, 2014
1,142
2,383
AFL Club
Richmond
Has he dialed down the catchphrases this season?

I can't stand the bloke, but I have found I haven't been cringing as much during his games lately.
 

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