Dwayne ' s**t commentator ' Russell - PART 2 in 3d

[Hoos]

I've never known a commentator of any sport, let alone just AFL, who manages to pick the wrong adjective for the action they're describing as often as Dwayne Russell does.

Case in point: Jeremy Cameron kicked a fairly regulation snap on the weekend. The way it spun wasn't perfect off the boot but it was a normal snap. The angle wasn't that tight and the degree of difficulty wasn't that extreme.

Russell excitedly referred to it as a "crazy goal".

Wtf.

There was literally nothing "crazy" about it. What the hell are you talking about Dwayne?

I genuinely don't understand how he hasn't got better at picking the right word to match the action on screen. How many years has he been doing this now? It's incredible that he's maintained the same level of incompetence for so long.

He's been doing that since he started calling games.

I can vividly remember (unfortunately because of der-wayne) a game involving Adelaide during their premiership years. They were handing out a routine 8 goal home thrashing against some rubbish side (not us), when a nice bit of end to end play finished up with an unmarked Andrew Macleod putting through a easy goal from 20-25 metres out, dead in front. Der-wayne's comment was a horrible portent of things to come:

"He's a genuis!"

Really der-wayne? He very well may be, but there's nothing genius about that goal. Every single AFL listed player should kick those with their eyes closed.

Is he secretly taking the piss? Or is he really that stupid and arrogant to continually misread the appropriate description to match the play?

He's a colossal knob.

 

[burge13]

My favourite is "last roll of the dice" before that team inevitably gets another roll

No wait, "found space where there was none" 20x a game is my fav

Come to think of it "half" is the best. Half held. Half kick. Half spoil etc.

Hes great

/s

 

[bedford]

My favourite is "last roll of the dice" before that team inevitably gets another roll

No wait, "found space where there was none" 20x a game is my fav

Come to think of it "half" is the best. Half held. Half kick. Half spoil etc.

Hes great

/s

Half brain he is

 

[TBellicious]

Dwayne really broadening his lexicon with the introduction of “spin step” and a “hesi-step” in that quarter

 

[Koopa]

Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.

 

[bedford]

Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.

Anything s better than JB

 

[Le Grille]

Anything s better than JB

Dwayne isnt


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[bedford]

Dwayne isnt


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JB is the worst of the lot

 

[Le Grille]

JB is the worst of the lot

No way, I’m not saying JB is good but jeez the nonsensical catchphrases Dwayne spouts is without rival.




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[Le Grille]

This needs a poll


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[burge13]

JB is better than Dwayne and significantly better than Dermie.

All should be shot out of a cannon at the sun, but Dermie should be shot first, Dwayne 2nd and JB last

 

[RobbyRoy]

Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.

He does keep up with the play better than most, and actually knows almost all of the players, something which can't be said for a lot of commentators these days.

 

[freddy mercury]

Anyone hear his new one over the weekend? Player x with the hesi step. If he hasn't already lost the plot, it's officially lost.

 

[Hoos]

He does keep up with the play better than most, and actually knows almost all of the players, something which can't be said for a lot of commentators these days.

Certainly the ones on Ch7.

 

[Mr Ripper]

Dwayne would be tolerable if he ditched all the catchphrases and hyperbole which, unfortunately, make up 75% of his call.

 

[Cleavy]

Dwayne would be tolerable if he ditched all the catchphrases and hyperbole which, unfortunately, make up 75% of his call.

so he'd be almost mute. that works!

 

[Alesana]

Its a shame that Derwayne consistently resorts to silly, tired sayings and oddball, untimely irrelevant catchphrases. Chuck in the unnecessary pauses and it really brings the coverage down. Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller. In that he can keep up with the play and convey what is unfolding. But that never happens cos he is too busy bellowing crap and general dribble like CHAOS BALL, SHAKE AND BAKE, DATS CRAZY GOOD, if you've just joined us etc,etc. Been a gradual, Brooce-like decline with him. Loves the sound of his own voice.

The only commentator that seems to have a higher heart rate than the players out on the ground. There's just no need for it

 

[GroggSquad]

Has he dialed down the catchphrases this season?

I can't stand the bloke, but I have found I haven't been cringing as much during his games lately.

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

campaigners just pulled "berry. Crushed." And then sat back and smelt his own farts.

 

[freddy mercury]

campaigners just pulled "berry. Crushed." And then sat back and smelt his own farts.

He didnt?!?

 

[ApplecrossWC]

Probably in the minority here but when toned down and kept on a leash, like the old Channel 9 days, he isn't that terrible of a play by play caller.

I actually think he's really good too. Bigfooty is a bit of an anti-Dwayne echo chamber, fair few people are jealous of him.

 

[The Dr]

I actually think he's really good too. Bigfooty is a bit of an anti-Dwayne echo chamber, fair few people are jealous of him.

Lol


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[Red Crow]

I actually think he's really good too. Bigfooty is a bit of an anti-Dwayne echo chamber, fair few people are jealous of him.

Nice of you to drop by Dwayne, from wherever you may be posting from around the planet.

 

[burge13]

THERE'S NO KRYPTONITE FOR CRIPPS TONIGHT!!

Said when he'd had about 5 touches

 

[XhazzafootyX]

Adds nothing insightful on SEN. He’s unbearable