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The Book of Woosha. Chapter 2, Round 11
And so it came to pass that the followers of Woosha (and yea, the ruckmen, utilities and defenders also) fell into their sinful ways. They chased not when they should have chased, tackled not when they should have tackled, and their disposal was like unto McManus having a bad hair day. And those who wore Red, Blue and White saw this, and were heartened and they kicked truly. Then, when all hope seemed lost, the disciples saidd 'surely we cannot lose this.' And disciple #9, he who is 9th in number, but first among his peers said, 'surely we can. For we have turned from the way of Woosha, and fallen. Yet all is not lost. Is there not time? Do we not have fresh legs? Let us go forth, and salvage this in the name of Woosha.' And the disciples heard this and went forth and were able to take some consolation from their toil. Yet as they left the Cauldron, disciple #27 said unto disciple #9 'Woosha will be ****ed.'
Disciple #9 heard this, and said. 'Yea. We must pray to him for forgiveness.' And the other disciples asked, 'how then should we pray to Woosha?' Disciple #9 thought for some time and said...
Our Woosha, who art at subi, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, now, as it was in the 90s
Give us this round our weekly 4 points.
And forgive thine disciples for games like this.
Forgive thy midfielders for not manning up
Forgive thy defence for being leaky
Forgive thy veterans who art past it.
and forgive the maggot for existing.
Even as we forgive you for dodgy selection decisions
For yea, though we walked through the valley of the shadow of poor form.
We shalt fear not Brisbane. For we fear Woosha more
For you and thy staff shall kick our asses at training
Even as they deserve to be kicked.
Now lead us to the Gabba
And deliver us to victory
For then ours is the 4 points
And the top spot
for ever and ever
until the next round
Amen
The Good
Lets be honest, there's not many who can walk away from that fiasco without at least a little bit of soul searching. We got a draw because like many times this year we simply refused to accept an adverse result, dug deep, and somehow found what was needed. Self belief certainly isn't a problem with this group. Overconfidence might be.
Cousins continued his recent excellent form, but was one of many infected with the poor disposal bug. Early on, Judd was good. Chick played with grit, and Fletcher shrugged off injury concerns to play the sort of free running, attacking footy he's been playing all year. Gardie toiled hard, and was good without dominating. Embley was fantastic, providing a marking option all day, chasing (one of the few), and seems to now be a classic 'crunch time' player. He did some great things in the final quarter, and if he hadn't been smart enough to play on to Sampi, we might have been beaten by the clock.
Our forward line actually functioned pretty well. Given that we were soundly beaten out of the middle and our defence was thrashed, the fact that we stayed in the game means Phil'n'co deserve a pat on the back. Fido played a very very good game. His 5 goals included a couple of gems- as well as the one which was disallowed. Not only is he leading and marking well, he showed a certain amount of creative flair which was great to watch- he also definitely showed up to play in the final quarter, and was instrumental in the fightback. Matera's back on top of the goal kicking ladder, and bar a decent performance from Neitz tm, he could stay there for a while. Jako was solid all day and Haynes led well, whilst Sampi enjoyed Matera handling the best of the small defenders. Oddly enough, I said to the bloke next to me, midway through the 3rd that if I could have any player kicking for a goal after the siren, it would be Samps. Not only are his general skills uncanny, he is an absolutely ice cool, deadeye set shot on goal.
In defence, Wirrpunda provided run, flair, and some staggering kick ins. Perhaps he should just practice torps around the clock at training- if he can find another 30m, our new kickin strategy will be 'clear the HF line, kick to leading forward,' which I feel cuts out a lot of the unnecessary messing about. Glass had another serviceable game.
The Bad
Can you say Passenger? because we had about 9 out on the field at every instance. We were beaten, no, raped out of the middle. Gardiner is not at fault here, unless you expect him to dish out a perfect tap down onto a waiting midfielders chest at every single bounce. Frankly, it looks like the onballers have been a bit spoilt by the great service they've been getting. They didn't man up, and basically let the dogs midfield do whatever they like.There was by and large no defensive pressure, and the fact that our disposal was abysmal didn't help either. We need a pacey, hard tackling tagger type back here- Wooden ring a bell? Read?
Judd faded after his good first half- probably needs to do some fitness work. Munro sucked copious quantities of ass, and Rowan Jones had an absolute dog of a game- couldn't do a thing right. Also, I'm not sure everyone will agree with this, but this was not one of Braun's better outings this year, not by a long stretch. Yes he picked up 20 touches, but there were some things which stood out on the replay. His disposal was bad, but so was everyone elses. What really upset me, was the complete lack of any of the one percenters. (amazing, considering this has always been one of his biggest assets) He didn't tackle well or even chase, and I noted two occasions where him leaving his man open resulted in Bulldogs goals. He wasn't even shepherding- there was one instance which happened directly in front of me where Haynes gathered the ball from a pack, and had two bulldogs bearing down on him. Braun was about a metre away, and just stood there and watched. Didn't try and shepherd, didn't run and make space to present an option, didn't even say anything. Just stood there and watched the Bulldogs run by him. I'll be charitable and wonder if he is carrying an injury.
Our defense was humiliated. McIntosh was led to the ball, and looked out of sorts and disinterested. If he's not 100%, he shouldn't be played, simple as that. I'd prefer a 100% Carroll to a 50% Milli, crazy as that sounds. Banfield was killed by the game breaker in Brown. Hunter was simply non existent, and Gaspar looked a little lost in his first game back- which, if I were to say I told you so, shows why we should have instead brought back someone with some good WAFL form under their belt. Kasey Green also had a shocker.
The axe wasn't wielded last week, but it bloody well should be wielded now. The fact that we found some bollocks and stole 2 points shouldn't disguise that fact. Today we were comprehensively outplayed by a desperately undermanned side on the bottom of the ladder, at a ground where we're supposed to be invincible. If that isn't cause for concern, then I don't know what is. Put simply, our list needs a shake up to keep the guys hungry, because we're in danger of getting stale atm. The good news is that we're still a chance to snag the top spot if we could beat Brisbane next week, but Voss or no Voss, that idea is laughable at the moment. People like Hunter, Munro, Braun, Banfield and a few others need to realise that they're currently on ice which is thinning at about the same rate as Fido's hair.
The Ugly
Our disposal strayed from bad to ugly. Seriously, I think this was our worst game this year, which makes it pretty bizarre that we got some points out of it.
One of the most entertaining moments I had today was watching the Bulldogs supporters file out. They really are a dying breed- there were people wearing uggboots to the game, woosha preserve us!
Just to keep the bile flowing, can I note that 4 free kicks is the least any team has got since '94, and possibly longer. There were some holding the ball non-decisions that were truly mind boggling, and given the final score, its hard not be a little bitter. Having said that, I don't think we would have deserved it, so good on the maggots for screwing us. (wtf?) Incidentally, Shane McIrney should be highlighted for STILL not being able to bounce the ball properly. Is there some sort of umpiring training? Or do they just pocket their 80 grand and head off somewhere to screw each other up the arse?
There is one other thing which has been hacking me off for a while. There seems to be an incredible number of people at Subi who liked to get up and wander around in the middle of the game, and spookily, they all want to stand directly in front of where i sit, just when something important is happening. One ****wit couple walked halfway out of the stairs in the middle of the third and just stood there, blocking the entire sections view of an Eagles goal. Then the pricks just ignored an entire block of people yelling at them. If a security guard hadn't asked them to sit down or leave, I think there could have been a lynch at Subiaco, and I'm not talking about Quinten. The same thing happened in the final quarter, when those weak sorts did the math, decided we were screwed, and got up to leave. As some filed out in front of me, they stopped half way, because Fletch had just got a goal. So they stayed there, blocking our section's view waiting to see whether West Coast were a chance before deciding whether to stay or go. If you must be a loathsome, non-fan who doesn't have the balls to be a real supporter for the whole game, then please don't spoil it for those who stay to the bitter end no matter what. And incidentally, a big sucked in to those who did leave early and missed our most exciting passages of play for the day. Serves you right, you gutless freaks. And the next one of you who blocks my view will get a bottle in the back of your head.
Well, thats it, and i feel a lot better for having vented. Next week we have an enormous challenge, and we're going to have to find something more to be a chance. Time to find out how much guts we really have

