Originally posted by Mead
(Reading from the Book of Woosha, chapter 2, Round 8.)
..And so it came to pass that the 22 disciples of Woosha found themselves facing the black and white abyss of defeat. And as the three quarter siren sounded, Woosha went down unto the disciples, and ministered unto them, and said: Be not dismayed, lads, for I have not brought thee to this poorly surfaced wilderness to suffer defeat. Believe in thyselves, as surely as thou'st believeth in me. Run hard, good long kicks out of the centre, and tackle the bastards if they even have a sniff of the pill. Do these things in my name, and ye shall triumph. Do them not, and Jako shalt kick thou asses when thou returnest.
Disciple #32 heard Woosha sayest these things, and he wept, saying- 'Master, we are tired. Our feet art swollen, and our run hath dried up. Also, the umpires hath sodomized us all day. How can we do these things that you ask?'
At this, Woosha was consumed with great wrath, and said: Embers, quit being such a pussy. Ye shall find the will to do these things, and in doing so, ye shall be a beacon unto others. Yea, I shall make thee the instrument of my will. Now get out there and vanquish them, or I shalt bitch slap ye so hard that I shalt smite thou halfway to Perth!
And Disciple #32 heard these words, and was filled with great fear and new energy, and he went out onto the field and moved amongst the followers of the Dark Lord Mick, and smote many of them, and gathered many possessions and kicked several goals. And even as Woosha had said, the disciples triumphed, and returned to Perth. And Disciple #32 even managed to get the number of the daughter of Dark Lord Mick when she spake unto him after the game, and he resolved to return soon and convert her to the bright way of blue and gold.