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Easy Grammar Fix

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footy_5 said:
year 12 English SACT, one of my classmates wrote self esteem as

self of steam
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This is a hoot but unfortunately v common. One of my boys commited similar errors;

Alfred Lord Tennyson - Alred Land Townhouses
Charge of the Light Brigade - Change of the Light Branty
William Shakespeare - Wilem Shake it spear!!

Keeps me amused for hours on end!:D
 
Ladies and gentlemen of the BigFooty community,,, I have bad news,,, I have very bad news,,, I have just witnessed the death of the full stop,

And by this I refer to a particular incident this morning where my laptop became acquainted with a nice warm cup of coffee,

The laptop was immediately turned upside down to let my morning pick me up stream out of the keys onto the table, then turned side on to watch it trickle out of the av buttons on the front,,,

After several hours of dehydration therapy in front of the heater, I'm happy to report that the laptop is working with the exception of the full stop key which is on life support, The only way to get it going is with an almighty whack of the key which I will refrain from doing,,,

So, here we are posters,,, the full stop has died, only to be replaced with the new and improved, ultra-versatile comma which is now doing the job of both punctuation marks,

This hard week only gets harder and even Easy Grammar Fix isn't safe,,, pray for the full stop,,, it's outlook is grim,
 
pongo_3931 said:
Ladies and gentlemen of the BigFooty community,,, I have bad news,,, I have very bad news,,, I have just witnessed the death of the full stop,

This hard week only gets harder and even Easy Grammar Fix isn't safe,,, pray for the full stop,,, it's outlook is grim,
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I'm sorry for your trouble, Pongo, but we're not dead yet.

And James Joyce pretty well did away with the full stop for his own purposes many's the long year ago. But of course he also resurrected it and used it like it's never been used before or since. Look....

… and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

:thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:


 

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pongo_3931 said:
Ladies and gentlemen of the BigFooty community,,, I have bad news,,, I have very bad news,,, I have just witnessed the death of the full stop,

And by this I refer to a particular incident this morning where my laptop became acquainted with a nice warm cup of coffee,

The laptop was immediately turned upside down to let my morning pick me up stream out of the keys onto the table, then turned side on to watch it trickle out of the av buttons on the front,,,

After several hours of dehydration therapy in front of the heater, I'm happy to report that the laptop is working with the exception of the full stop key which is on life support, The only way to get it going is with an almighty whack of the key which I will refrain from doing,,,

So, here we are posters,,, the full stop has died, only to be replaced with the new and improved, ultra-versatile comma which is now doing the job of both punctuation marks,

This hard week only gets harder and even Easy Grammar Fix isn't safe,,, pray for the full stop,,, it's outlook is grim,
Click to expand...

mate you think thats bad news

my 'u' does not work on this comp.

but i am determined to the cause for good grammer and spelling, so i always keep the 'u' copied (control+c), and whenever i need it, i paste it in lol

thats how determined i am :p
 
Snag Breac said:
… and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.

:thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu::thumbsu:
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You lost me at breasts... do you have any other porno type 'poems' we could rejoice in?
 
DWil6 said:
You lost me at breasts... do you have any other porno type 'poems' we could rejoice in?
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This will shock you, DW, but that's not pr0n - that's literature, Irish-style. It's from the final chapter of James Joyce's Ulysses, one of the greatest novels ever written. Now who's sorry they didn't pay attention in English?

If you liked that, you may also enjoy almost anything by D.H. Lawrence. My daughter has been preparing for an exam in one of his novellas, and it's really very, well, literary.
 

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Snag Breac said:
If you liked that, you may also enjoy almost anything by D.H. Lawrence. My daughter has been preparing for an exam in one of his novellas, and it's really very, well, literary.
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A pox upon Lawrence and all his novellas. I find him utterly unreadable. His writing is as unfortunately ornate as Wilde's, but sans wit. But yes, quite "literary" I suppose.
 
mdc said:
A pox upon Lawrence and all his novellas. I find him utterly unreadable. His writing is as unfortunately ornate as Wilde's, but sans wit. But yes, quite "literary" I suppose.
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It's just that he's passionate, MDC. If MM were a novelist, he'd be Lawrence.

Pressed for time. Will respond to grammar questions later......
 
I've been neglecting this thread and the bad spelling is creeping in again. Actually, it never left. Anyway....

Your waist is the part of your body where you wear your belt.

Waste is what you throw away.

Both learnt and learned are correct forms of the past tense of the verb To Learn. I prefer learnt because I like the sound of it better. That final consonant is very satisfying.:p
 

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I was shit at school between year 6-10. My spelling turned to shit.


Verbs, Adverbs, Adjectives etc. I still have not learnt. I want to hunt down my english teachers and beat them to death *kidding*. You robbed me!
 
KingsCrow said:
I was shit at school between year 6-10. My spelling turned to shit.


Verbs, Adverbs, Adjectives etc. I still have not learnt. I want to hunt down my english teachers and beat them to death *kidding*. You robbed me!
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It's never too late KingsCrow, and it might be that your teachers had a poor understanding of grammar themselves. You'll find definitions of some of the Parts of Speech in this thread. I should finish the definitions and add them to the OP. Don't depair. Try to learn a little bit at a time.
 
Snag Breac said:
It's never too late KingsCrow, and it might be that your teachers had a poor understanding of grammar themselves. You'll find definitions of some of the Parts of Speech in this thread. I should finish the definitions and add them to the OP. Don't depair. Try to learn a little bit at a time.
Click to expand...

I don't think KingsCrow will ever trust someone teaching him grammar and spelling ever again.
 
Its funny, but the thing that saved me was watching a Harry Potter film.

The next week after watching it my dad bought me the second book. I'd never read a book (a proper book) before that. It took me for ages. Ofcourse I didnt take to reading straight away after that. But I read the next 3 books over probably a 2 year period.


I was about 14 when I finally took to it after that. Read the Tomorrow series, BC's books. Tim Winton. Perfume, The Outsider.



I literally learnt most of my english from reading. Still dont understand alot of the basic stuff however. Was proud as punch when I passed English studies in year 12 though :D
 
KingsCrow said:
Its funny, but the thing that saved me was watching a Harry Potter film.

The next week after watching it my dad bought me the second book. I'd never read a book (a proper book) before that. It took me for ages. Ofcourse I didnt take to reading straight away after that. But I read the next 3 books over probably a 2 year period.


I was about 14 when I finally took to it after that. Read the Tomorrow series, BC's books. Tim Winton. Perfume, The Outsider.



I literally learnt most of my english from reading. Still dont understand alot of the basic stuff however. Was proud as punch when I passed English studies in year 12 though :D
Click to expand...

^^^^ So did I, KC, and it's the best way to learn. Of course it helps if you read mostly good books, and you're clearly on the right track there.

Have you visited MDC's The Library thread here in the nest? It's full of ideas, as well as blethers.:p
 
Snag Breac said:
^^^^ So did I, KC, and it's the best way to learn.
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Me too. :thumbsu:

I read a stack of Mark Twain when I was 12/13, and proceeded to do my next 2 English assignments in the voice of Jim. The teacher applauded my creativity and then urged me to stop. :cool:

Snag Breac said:
Of course it helps if you read mostly good books, and you're clearly on the right track there.
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Except Tim Winton. He's a two-bit hack :)

Snag Breac said:
Have you visited MDC's The Library thread here in the nest? It's full of ideas, as well as blethers.:p
Click to expand...

That thread could use a jolt.
 

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